Murphy Brownback posted:

I've never encountered people doing that kind of thing to be annoying, but I have definitely known people who start using british pronunciations and britishisms, even sometimes slipping into a fake british accent after watching dr who/downton abbey/etc. In those cases I think it's reasonable to be mad at the person because they're doing it for such a stupid reason.

RenegadeStyle1 posted:

How? Even if it was true they made some kind of deal for sex in exchange for the date wouldn't he be admitting to prostitution?

Khazar-khum posted:

Pats

RareAcumen posted:

bringmyfishback posted:

I know I'm late, but regarding the extreme couponing thing- some people do it just as a hobby and then donate the food they get to a food bank. You get a weird rush, forty bottles of free mustard, a chance to help people who rely on food banks, AND totally ruin a retail employee's day! What's not to love?

Boywhiz88 posted:

I think he was being tongue in cheek.

RareAcumen posted:

They deserve it, with their lovely pay and their overworking bosses and the constant lack of respect, those bastards.

Boywhiz88 posted:

I think he was being tongue in cheek.

HOOLY BOOLY posted:

Of course they do, they choose to work at a lovely job if they want more money they just have to bootstrap up and get an education

jase1 posted:

I have been to a few underground games where I felt like it wasn't on the up and up but I never felt cheated. Just felt like if I had a big winning session I might get robbed leaving the place. The thing is with the underground games is I have to be vouched most of the time and the person who would vouch for me would be someone I absolutely trust. the group of guys I know from poker knows everyone else so if someone was sending players to a game that was rigged they would be blacklisted and most likely bad things would happen to that person depending on who they screwed over.

About 7 or 8 years ago I was at a personal friends home game were something crazy happened.

I know it's offensive to say this word anymore but I don't know how to post this so I will abbreviate it to lilf for sakes of the story.

Lil fag is a guy I have known for a long time when he was in college he use to come to the cigar store and always lose his grant money in our games. He got his name because he has a short man syndrome and he just has this all around machismo about him but really short and very sensitive about being short so naturally we always made short jokes. He got really upset because someone called him a fag then it just became customary to call him lilf. He hated it but he wanted always wanted to gamble and wasn't bad at it. It was just very easy to get him on tilt and make bad decisions. So after he graduates med school he decides he is going to have a game. He invites some of us old timers and he has a really good game. I would go there and the action would be great lots of loose play and people who did not care about money. I use to bring 5k at the game because I wanted to stay all night and if I hit a couple of rough patches I had a big bankroll. This one night i get to the game about an hour after it starts and I notice a younger kid I have never seen before and he is nervous and I think sweet new blood. We play for awhile and the new guy keeps leaving to go smoke and coming back and he does this like 4 times in about 2 hours so it looks la little off. Then we hear a knock at the door lilf looks through the peephole and its the kid as soon as lilf unlocks the door 2 guys in black ski mask burst through the door with AK's and the kid with his hands up. They line us up including the kid on the far wall take all our money jewelry cells and wallets. I lost my cell and 5k in cash I did not have a wallet on me because I don't carry it in those places and I don't wear any jewelry so they got nothing from me there. Then they make us take off our pants and shirts and shoes they gather them all up in a trash bag the one guy pulls out this pepper spray cannister and sprays us all and they bolt.. I figure at most they got was about 25k to 30 k I can't quite remember the value of what they got.

As soon as they leave lilf washes his eyes runs next door and calls the cops before the cops even come I have already accused the kid of being in on it. He swears he has nothing to do with it but he was the only new guy plus he was nervous all night and acting strange. Cops come take everyone's statement and pretty much everyone thinks the kid had something to do with it. Cops find the bag of clothes and wallets that night on the side of the highway. Less than a week later the cops arrest the kid and he gives everyone up. He said he owed these 2 brothers money from a gambling debt and he told them about the game and helped them plan the robbery. His girlfriend was the getaway driver and they all got caught and went to jail. I never got my 5k back but I was there when they were sentenced and I cheered when they found guilty because gently caress them.


The last bet I made was the 1k on the cavs -7.5 in fact my last 6 bets are on the cavs or at least a cavs player and I won all of them. I have a really good bluff story but I need to ask the other player that was in the hand because I completely forget what the hand was and how it played out. Once I get ahold of him and he relays the hand to me I will post the bluff story.

cheerfullydrab posted:

Also British people are garbage and we fought a war.

cheerfullydrab posted:

One of those things is terrible.

Jerry Cotton posted:

Mustard is bad but I wouldn't say it's terrible

kizudarake posted:

More gambling stories STDH from these forums:

kizudarake posted:

More gambling stories STDH from these forums:

RNG posted:

"911? Our illegal high stakes poker game has just been robbed."

Imaduck posted:

I'm not sure what you find so unbelievable about this. Home games getting robbed isn't that uncommon. I know several folks with similar stories

quote:

In August 1985, the NFL and NBA co-sponsored an “Annual Sportsball Crossover Event”, where the LA Lakers were pitted against the Dallas Cowboys in a stadium that was half football, half basketball. One of the players on the Lakers’ side, sportsballman Carl Johnson, was the only player on the team adept enough to manipulate a football to the same degree of precision as he could a basketball. Tragedy struck, however, when Johnson was struck by a charging lineman (Tommy “The Train” Krichevsky) in the middle of a big sports ball maneuver.

The last thing Johnson reportedly heard before having his sternum, jaw, and shoulders shattered by 300 pounds of man and protective equipment was: “Look the gently caress out CJ, the train!” Johnson was immediately rushed to the emergency room, and the game was called off.

His Sportsball colleague, Tim “Smoke” Washington quit that day, likely suffering from intense emotional stress following his friend’s grave injury. When asked for comments that day, he said: “All you had to do was follow the drat train [with your eyes], CJ.”

Two years later, Johnson recovered with help from cybernetic enhancements. He has since quit basketball, but was picked up by the LAPD in 1994 as a Lethal Enforcement Officer. His nickname, “Cyborg Johnson”, comes from the clearly visible chrome-plated robotic steel arms and torso keeping Johnson alive (and in incredible shape).

Jerry Cotton posted:

Your mustard is a piece of poo poo regardless.

bringmyfishback posted:

I was loving joking. I've likely worked more retail than any of you.

Imaduck posted:

If you gamble a lot, you meet a lot of interesting people in interesting situations. It's part of what makes gambling fun and sometimes terrifying. This is doubly true if you're hustling people.

I wouldn't be surprised if he's embellishing / misremembering / retelling others' stories, but there's enough realness in there that a lot of the situations seem true enough. Also, I'm pretty sure he told this same story before, so at least he's consistent if he's making it up?

Samizdata posted:

Nope. Pretty sure you are the wrongest wrong that ever wronged.

RNG posted:

Six Los Angeles County Sheriffs and a German Shepherd.

quote:

I used to be pretty bad about this. I had decided my opinion about several things before I watched them. I finally quit it wean I watched the first Twilight movie.

quote:

Once a friend of mine asked a second friend why he had chosen to be agnostic. For some reason a girl flipped out and started ranting about how people should choose and added "Why would you choose to be Christian?" and then said a lot of stuff about why Christianity was bad. This troper replied, "Yeah! For instance why would someone choose to be Buddhist?" The girl (who was a Buddhist) kicked this troper's shin and said (in a perfectly serious and angry voice), "It's rude to mock other people's religions, rear end in a top hat!" This troper suffered a Heroic BSOD upon hearing that and spent several minutes trying opening and shutting his mouth while pointing at her and making gurgling noises.

quote:

This troper's brother's friend's sister once complained that she didn't like The Matrix because they were always moving so slowly.

quote:

"I hated the plot of Passion of the Christ, I honestly thought it was stale and overdone (Oh wow, the main character dies for the greater good of humanity, how many times has THAT been done), but at least the characters sounded realistic and they got the languages right..."

Darkhold posted:

Trooper tales are always at the bottom of whatever barrel you pull them out of.

bringmyfishback posted:

Seems to be the prevailing theme in the thread lately. Oh, well, more STDH, I suppose!

Samizdata posted:

No offense intended. I have just worked a terrifying large amount of retail, ranging from health food to grocery to menswear to office supplies to a butcher shop to home electronics.