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Puppy Galaxy posted:I meant to post this earlier, but I also watched the video tour of your apartment and I would live there for a reasonable price. Mod challenge
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May 4, 2016 03:24
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:Aunt1: You know why the twin towers fell down on 9/11? As someone with a 9/11 truther for a mother, this smilie paired with that phrase made me crack the gently caress up. It's too perfect. Every goddamn time.  Thank you for keeping this thread going. Everything you post is fascinating in some new and unexpected way!
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May 4, 2016 04:44
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Working at a landfill, I recognise that truck as being a 49T Hiab style getup. loving incredible, dude had as much waste in his house as the largest construction site in my home city made in a week.
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May 4, 2016 07:50
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For real though did you want a bath tub plug so you can take a bath?
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May 4, 2016 19:47
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Captain Yossarian posted:For real though did you want a bath tub plug so you can take a bath? OP, have you considered crowd funding to raise some of the money you need to get yourself a bath plug?
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May 5, 2016 10:45
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I want to send ASFB a care package from the good ole US but he's too busy 
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May 5, 2016 17:40
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Captain Yossarian posted:I want to send ASFB a care package from the good ole US but he's too busy You're right that I was busy.  Yesterday I went to take the trash out, and accidentally sniffed out a weed party at my neighbor's, so naturally I invited myself over in order to sample the goodies, which means that I soon became too baked to post. PUI is bad, m'kay? I'm in a thoroughly festive mood. The mailman woke me up this afternoon, as he frequently does, and handed me THE Letter from Ljubljana, the capital of Slovenia. In precisely 30 days from now, the country of Slovenia will pay me no less than 6923.69 €. That's a lot of money. I think we already discussed this issue, on how the Slovenians froze the foreigners' assets in the Bank of Ljubljana, in the wake of Yugoslavia bursting at the seams and about to explode in a series of ethnic wars. That was a seriously rear end thing to do back then, but this money kept the Slovenian economy afloat while the rest of then-Yugoslavia was penniless. Geez, this is the letter I've literally been waiting for the past 25 years. It's one of those spectacular "once in a lifetime" things that happen only in cheesy movies. 
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May 5, 2016 21:39
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GAY 4 ORGANS
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redreader posted:This is the thread of a rich guy who doesn't need to work, choosing to live like a hobo. He has money coming in literally all the time and has no job, 'just' owns 2 apartments. It's sort of annoying but the stories are too good for me to really get mad. Please keep them coming. Congrats on your 'unexpected' windfall, mr "luck 18" character!
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May 5, 2016 22:18
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redreader posted:Congrats on your 'unexpected' windfall, mr "luck 18" character! None of this would have happened if Germany hadn't pressed the Slovenians into paying out the people - the former clients of the Bank of Ljubljana. This is a relatively recent development and just a year ago, the Slovenians still maintained that the money was (and still is) - in Belgrade. This was the official stance, meaning that even if Slovenia reluctantly agreed to return some of the money, there was no guarantee on how and when it would have happened. Not before 2020AD, anyway. I guess, uh, danke, Merkel!
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May 5, 2016 22:26
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you should spend it all on drugs
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May 5, 2016 22:40
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Puppy Galaxy posted:you should spend it all on drugs Biperiden is dirt cheap, I'm getting tramadol for free, and I can always bum out a bud or two from my friend. Had I gotten this money just three years ago, you can bet I would have spent it all on hard drugs, but now? It makes no sense anymore. Half the money should be considered as already spent, because I intend to pay out the people who gave me money - knowing that I'm not the kind of person who'd screw them over. One guy gave me no less than $2000. I'll reward him with some interest because he really is a great person and I don't know how I would have pulled through this hadn't it been for him and his generous donations. I suppose it's hard to resist a bald chemo head. The other half of this money will be spent on booze.  Kidding!  Or maybe not. 
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May 5, 2016 22:52
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:Biperiden is dirt cheap, I'm getting tramadol for free, and I can always bum out a bud or two from my friend. Had I gotten this money just three years ago, you can bet I would have spent it all on hard drugs, but now? It makes no sense anymore. You can finally afford a bath plug!!!  Don't spend it on drugs, spend a little bit of it on something more interesting than drugs. Why not get a decent enough computer and get some games? Or like learn pottery or something. I think you'll feel a lot more happy if you go and invest in a skill or something less transient than drugs.
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May 5, 2016 23:45
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Shadow0 posted:You can finally afford a bath plug!!! Thanks for not harshing my mellow on this wonderful night. I'll invest some money in my own apartment - yes, I'll be getting a bath tub plug, and I'll also pay some professionals to repaint my walls, doors and windows. There aren't any major blemishes on the walls, it's just that they haven't been painted in a really long time, the walls have faded to grey and the oil paint on the windows has tarnished to yellow. The place looks kinda dingy right now but it doesn't need to be that way! I know there'll be trouble with the bath tub plug - the drain hole size is nonstandard, uh well it actually IS standard but an ancient one, I've seen bathtubs from 1929 with that drain plug size, and the old standard was abandoned by mid 70s, a few years after the Roach Tower was finished. I'll have to hunt down a compatible plug.
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May 6, 2016 00:04
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:Thanks for not harshing my mellow on this wonderful night. Nooo, you don't need to find a plug the exact size. Just get one of these, it'll cover any hole. http://www.amazon.com/SINK-THINGS-BATHTUB-DRAIN-STOPPER/dp/B000I1THSC My cheap apartment has them and they do the job.
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May 6, 2016 02:13
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Congrats on your impending windfall! Please be at least partially responsible with the $ you have left over because I don't want you to have to rummage through a dumpster for a pack of smokes
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May 9, 2016 16:22
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Captain Yossarian posted:because I don't want you to have to rummage through a dumpster for a pack of smokes I got home three minutes ago and it looks like I found accidental  dumpster romanceAfter drinking a 2L bottle of cat piss, I went out to dumpster dive as usual. I spotted an immaculate beer can in the dumpster and just as I was getting close and personal with my trash, a girl approached me and asked if I'd like to take her bottle. I said no problem, but then she got confused as her bottle was still full: I then noticed that she was high as a kite. We ended up sharing a swig from a bottle and then she introduced herself to me: her name is Vesna and she is a fashion photographer (with a sweet tooth for weed, apparently.) She then asked me to accompany her to the nightclub and I agreed, all while asking why don't we make a stop at the cafe in the shopping mall and I had to decline (they kicked me out multiple times already.) When we got to the nightclub, I gave her my phone number and she gave me a cigarette - it turned out that she is quite literally my neighbor - she lives in "Block C" while I'm living in "Block E." When we parted, she offered me her plastic bottles and leftover hand-me-down food, and I agreed. I was drunk and she was high - do you think it'll end like this? Gee I hope not - she seemed really nice. 
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May 9, 2016 23:52
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:I got home three minutes ago and it looks like I found accidental  A great post. You are my hero.
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May 10, 2016 00:48
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This is easily the best thread on SA, thank you for sharing your exploits Fatbeard
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May 10, 2016 01:32
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"Dumpster" has just edged out "family reunion" at the top of the list of places I wouldn't want to have to tell my friends I'd met my significant other
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May 10, 2016 01:36
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"while getting a beer" seems appropriate enough in this instance 
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May 10, 2016 10:05
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An appropriate song...
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May 10, 2016 15:29
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:I got home three minutes ago and it looks like I found accidental Awww :3 it seems like you both had a decent time, hopefully you get together in the future
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May 10, 2016 16:28
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Please don't make a trash baby with this girl.
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May 10, 2016 19:27
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change my name posted:Please make a baby with this girl.
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May 10, 2016 21:44
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change my name posted:Please don't make a trash baby with this girl. Wow do you just hate fun or something?
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May 11, 2016 18:26
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Fatbeard will hear his baby crying in his apartment and start kicking down the door, only for one of his neighbors to point out that the baby is still hanging from his neck in its papoose.
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May 11, 2016 23:08
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ASF, I have greatly enjoyed your stories and I hope you keep posting them. I also hope you and Vesna work out. She seems nice, and you deserve to be happy.
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May 11, 2016 23:46
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drat, if the OP is smooth enough to get a sweet date while acting like a literal hobo then goons have no excuse. Keep on rocking.
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May 12, 2016 14:40
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I'm in a good mood. Took 20 xannies, drank a mug of (good) beer and smoked two blunts. It's around 3:30 in the morning and Waldo just came back from work and paid his rent. That's not the point of this post, however. I decided to be a decent human being for once and to forego everything Waldo owes me since it's mathematically impossible for him to repay everything he owes me - and he owes me a lot in unpaid rents and utilities; about $1400 in rent and lord knows how much in back utilities, but it doesn't matter anymore. I see that he's working his rear end off for nothing, and I'd feel like a tremendous piece of poo poo for kicking him out after all we've been through together. Waldo is 36 years old but has a face of an emaciated 65-year old who's suffering from malnutrition and has been through a wood chipper. How could I tell him to beat it? I mean, seriously? Anyway, my plan is that we're starting from scratch the following month. The balance between the two of us will be zero. On the other hand, I decided to change my business model: from now on, he'll be paying me 250 euros a month (instead of 200) but the utilities will be included in that sum and I will be the one to go out and pay them. This way I can be sure that the utilities are actually being paid on time and that there won't be any unpleasant surprises afterwards. Fifty euros is roughly the amount of money needed for the utilities at the end of every month in Property C where Waldo lives. Waldo was overjoyed and he gave me a brotherly hug, saying that there won't be any problems from now on. And if there are problems, I'll see the problem immediately and won't have any qualms about kicking him out post-haste. The only bad thing about all of this is that Waldo tends to leave food scraps everywhere and now he's having a pretty serious roach infestation. He seems to be fine with that, and while he's in there, I won't make an effort to exterminate the roaches (as I did in Property B where I'm living) because it likely would have been a wasted effort. Btw, Vesna didn't call.
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May 13, 2016 02:21
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Oh, forgot to say, Waldo offered to repaint the walls in Property B where I'm living, and I'm all for that - paint itself is cheap, but workmanship is expensive. My walls could really use a touch-up.
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May 13, 2016 02:24
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:Btw, Vesna didn't call. She's playing hard to get dude, you got to go to her.
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May 13, 2016 02:41
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Poldarn posted:She's playing hard to get dude, you got to go to her. Are you suggesting that I should start stalking her by planting my butt in front of her commietower and keeping the watch 24/7 in case she comes out? 
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May 13, 2016 02:48
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:Are you suggesting that I should start stalking her by planting my butt in front of her commietower and keeping the watch 24/7 in case she comes out? Fatbeard, write her a beautiful tune about the deep spectre of dread that hangs over you, and all people. she will fly to your arms.
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May 13, 2016 03:26
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She was probably too high to remember even meeting you
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May 13, 2016 03:35
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All people should aspire to be as generous as A Sweaty Fatbeard.
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May 13, 2016 09:34
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I commend you on your generosity and good heart OP but imo that offer you made Waldo will bite you in the rear end. He was working hard because he knew he has a debt but now he'll learn that you can write those off and will start slipping up again. I genuinely hope I'm wrong though!
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May 13, 2016 10:32
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What's gonna happen if I brush my teeth with toothpaste from 1992? This toothpaste obviously came from Uncle Bruno's massive stash of stupid poo poo, but I think that this toothpaste may actually be okay. Any thoughts before I start using this stuff for real?
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May 14, 2016 00:25
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quote:No, it’s not dangerous, said Dr. Joel H. Berg, chairman of pediatric dentistry at the University of Washington in Seattle and a representative of the American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry. Read more here: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/18/science/18qna.html?_r=0 If you could even get it out of the tube I'd be surprised.
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May 14, 2016 00:34
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:What's gonna happen if I brush my teeth with toothpaste from 1992? This toothpaste obviously came from Uncle Bruno's massive stash of stupid poo poo, but I think that this toothpaste may actually be okay. Any thoughts before I start using this stuff for real? That toothpaste probably deteriorated back into components it was made of. Donate to some school's chemistry classes so they can study it. (Use only if you are OK with the possibility of getting third-degree chemical burns in your mouth.)
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May 15, 2016 19:21
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Fatbeard, I have been lurking your thread for a while and it is awesome. I hope the romance works out. This weekend I saw Eurovision for the first time (I live in New Zealand) and the Croatian song was... interesting. Did you watch it and is Eurovision generally a big thing in Croatia? I thought it was hilarious and am sad my country hasn't been invited.
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May 16, 2016 11:10
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