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If someone could get some logic through Seagal's thick skull, I think there's definitely the possibility for a second phase of his career ala Liam Neeson. If he was willing to play more grounded characters, and allow more of the budget to go to other things aside from his own salary, I think a skilled director could do something interesting with him. Instead he seems to enjoy starring in absolute garbage where he gets to try out ridiculous accents: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrVR3lUPzCQ
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May 10, 2016 19:51
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Harlock posted:Is that his head photoshopped onto Tom Cruise's body from Jack Reacher
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May 10, 2016 19:53
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They sure know how to rub the size of that alcoholic head in.
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May 10, 2016 19:57
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I refuse to believe that's a real poster because the photoshop is just that bad. I mean I know its boring in this thread to complain about bad photoshop, but that's just a whole different level.
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May 10, 2016 19:59
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Basebf555 posted:I refuse to believe that's a real poster because the photoshop is just that bad. I mean I know its boring in this thread to complain about bad photoshop, but that's just a whole different level. I keep thinking it's the cover for a new Ubisoft game. Which is silly, because they invest way more effort in their artwork.
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May 10, 2016 21:47
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Cleretic posted:I'm curious. When you post old esoteric posters like this, how many of the ones that look like straight-up porn are literally just porn? Not that many, actually. My poster folder holds about 6,000 pictures, and has a good swag of Triple-X in there. But the straight-up porn ones are usually un-postable, as their marketing was... less than subtle. I did in fact have to do an emergency edit last night, after I realised one poster was a little more anatomically correct than I thought. 1,000 CONVICTS is apparently a British sexploitation flick, of all things. Haven't seen it, but it looks like the trailer is on YouTube. (I'm at work, so there's no way in hell I'm checking it out for another few hours)
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May 10, 2016 21:52
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lllllllllllllllllll posted:
He looks like a booble-head.
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May 10, 2016 22:18
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Basebf555 posted:If someone could get some logic through Seagal's thick skull, I think there's definitely the possibility for a second phase of his career ala Liam Neeson. If he was willing to play more grounded characters, and allow more of the budget to go to other things aside from his own salary, I think a skilled director could do something interesting with him. Liam Neeson had considerable acting ability to fall back on along with his indifference of where his paycheck comes from. (See also: Michael Caine, Samuel L. Jackson) Seagal is a prima donna with no acting skills with an indifference of where his checks come from. People like him (Gary Busey, Joe Estevez, Udo Kier, Dean Cain, pretty much every name synonymous with SciFi original movies) are a dime a dozen and nobody making a serious film would want to work with him.
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May 10, 2016 22:32
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Basebf555 posted:If someone could get some logic through Seagal's thick skull, I think there's definitely the possibility for a second phase of his career ala Liam Neeson. If he was willing to play more grounded characters, and allow more of the budget to go to other things aside from his own salary, I think a skilled director could do something interesting with him. JCVD already exists tho
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May 10, 2016 22:43
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Udo Kier owns unlike Seagal though.
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May 10, 2016 22:44
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Palpek posted:Udo Kier owns unlike Seagal though. Dude still regularly gets good work, too
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May 10, 2016 22:44
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He's a great character actor, completely different league than Seagal. He doesn't really fit on that list.
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May 10, 2016 22:47
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Maybe I'm missing something. What has Udo Kier been in in the last 15 years worth watching? Because he's my favorite "oh god, he's in this!" regular in b-movies.
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May 10, 2016 23:09
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A GLISTENING HODOR posted:Maybe I'm missing something. What has Udo Kier been in in the last 15 years worth watching? Because he's my favorite "oh god, he's in this!" regular in b-movies. The Forbidden Room, stuff with Von Trier, Zombie, Herzog
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May 10, 2016 23:16
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Udo is good for weird poo poo, because he is a weird guy and hangs out with other cool weird people.
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May 10, 2016 23:25
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I've met Udo and he's as goddamn weird in real life as you think he would be. Jürgen Prochnow is a bit of a jerk.
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May 10, 2016 23:54
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Seagal is a deplorable human who runs weird and deserves to go away forever and I was at Under Siege opening day when I was young and stupid. 
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May 10, 2016 23:57
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A GLISTENING HODOR posted:Maybe I'm missing something. What has Udo Kier been in in the last 15 years worth watching? Because he's my favorite "oh god, he's in this!" regular in b-movies.
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May 11, 2016 00:02
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lllllllllllllllllll posted:
These all look like those fake action movie posters for that one Evil Ex from Scott Pilgrim.
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May 11, 2016 00:18
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A GLISTENING HODOR posted:Maybe I'm missing something. What has Udo Kier been in in the last 15 years worth watching? Because he's my favorite "oh god, he's in this!" regular in b-movies. He was an evil parrot bossing around Lewis Black in that Scooby Doo series from a few years ago.
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May 11, 2016 00:56
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A GLISTENING HODOR posted:Maybe I'm missing something. What has Udo Kier been in in the last 15 years worth watching? Because he's my favorite "oh god, he's in this!" regular in b-movies. Shadow of The Vampire, Dogville, My Son My Son What Have Ye Done?, Manderlay
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May 11, 2016 01:13
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The best scene in Udo Kier's career was by far in von Trier's The Kingdom series. You know which scene.
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May 11, 2016 10:15
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Palpek posted:The best scene in Udo Kier's career was by far in von Trier's The Kingdom series. You know which scene. Haha, oh yes. That is so due for a rewatch.
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May 11, 2016 13:05
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Palpek posted:The best scene in Udo Kier's career was by far in von Trier's The Kingdom series. You know which scene. Ahahaha. I'd forgotten that.
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May 11, 2016 13:11
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSXhAbK3Xnk 
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May 11, 2016 13:29
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I watched Blood for Dracula and Flesh for Frankenstein within a week of each other and I can barely keep them separated in my mind. Pretty sure the cast is 90% the same people, the sets are 90% the same locations, etc. Having Dracula whine about his stuffed bird and dried flower collection is pretty amazing though.
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May 11, 2016 14:16
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Seagal is now at the fattest, mumbliest phase of his career: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KlyHwnPqns
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May 11, 2016 15:27
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kiimo posted:Seagal is a deplorable human who runs weird and deserves to go away forever and I was at Under Siege opening day when I was young and stupid. Is this what Seanbaby was talking about when he said that in his prime Steven Seagal "ran like a penguin was kidding"?
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May 11, 2016 15:32
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I need to go back and watch some of those movies, I remember as a kid loving Hard to Kill, Marked for Death, Out for Justice etc. Which is the one where he grows a giant beard and then comes out to kick rear end after he's done meditating?
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May 11, 2016 15:34
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Corek posted:Seagal is now at the fattest, mumbliest phase of his career I watched 'Against the Dark' awhile back where SS shuffled round with arms crossed on his paunch basically every scene he was in, and he was English-dubbed from English so F knows what his original speech was like  Terrible terrible film.
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May 11, 2016 15:35
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Corek posted:Seagal is now at the fattest, mumbliest phase of his career: I need very strong evidence this isn't an Adam Sandler movie.
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May 11, 2016 15:38
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The ebook Seagalogy is worth picking up for an amusing and affectionate look at the big man's career, though it doesn't cover his most recent DTV awfulness. Edit: oh cool there's an updated version with films up to 2012 in. NoneMoreNegative fucked around with this message at 15:42 on May 11, 2016 |
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May 11, 2016 15:39
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NoneMoreNegative posted:The ebook Seagalogy is worth picking up for an amusing and affectionate look at the big man's career, though it doesn't cover his most recent DTV awfulness. And it's by Outlaw Vern, the best drat critic on the net.
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May 11, 2016 15:51
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My favorite Steven Seagal movie is The Glimmer Man in which he grabs a scalpel and removes a dead woman's silicone implant despite not being a coroner (or doctor of any kind). He also determines the woman's nationality by her cheekbones. Edit: looked it up,  because of nice titshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EuhFdhS3NXc Mierenneuker fucked around with this message at 16:20 on May 11, 2016 |
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May 11, 2016 16:14
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King Vidiot posted:These all look like those fake action movie posters for that one Evil Ex from Scott Pilgrim. Still the best part of that movie. Those were spot on.
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May 11, 2016 16:15
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Best tagline ever.
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May 11, 2016 16:20
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Working at a Blockbuster Video during my college years(early 2000's) really made it clear that Seagal does seem to be tapping into an actual market with people who want to see these movies. The same people that would just come in every month and grab the new Seagal turd or Asylum rip-off are now doing that with streaming services. Its easier to just see Seagal's face and click on it then to spend 20 minutes browsing around to find something better. I hate to generalize, but these people did not seem very intelligent. With the Asylum rip-offs especially, their whole business model is based on stupid people. It was a daily occurrence to field complaints from people who somehow thought it was possible that a big budget action movie directed by Michael Bay would be in a video store 3 days after release, and also somehow don't know that there's a difference between "Transformers" and "Transmorphers".
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May 11, 2016 16:28
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Mister Chief posted:Best tagline ever. I wish they would actually have Chris Evans do all these Scott Pilgrim fake movies.
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May 11, 2016 16:31
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kiimo posted:Seagal is a deplorable human who runs weird and deserves to go away forever and I was at Under Siege opening day when I was young and stupid. 
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May 11, 2016 16:46
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Mierenneuker posted:My favorite Steven Seagal movie is The Glimmer Man in which he grabs a scalpel and removes a dead woman's silicone implant despite not being a coroner (or doctor of any kind). He also determines the woman's nationality by her cheekbones. You ever hear Stephen Tobolowsky's story about his time on Glimmer Man?
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May 11, 2016 17:00
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