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Do your big plans involve spending a lot of money in some way?
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May 17, 2016 02:25
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Inept posted:Do your big plans involve spending a lot of money in some way? I'll answer a different question: "how would this affect your finances"? The answer to that is I don't know. I'll fill you guys in when I know more. It's totally crazy, but not in a financial manner. Let's leave it at that until I know more. I'll explain more if everything works out and I'm looking at the math or something and how a budget would look and how it would affect our goals if at all etc etc. As of right now I'd guess that it doesn't work out, so it's not worth the time to do any of that. Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 05:07 on May 17, 2016 |
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May 17, 2016 04:59
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Knyteguy posted:I'll answer a different question: "how would this affect your finances"? The answer to that is I don't know. I'll fill you guys in when I know more.  So you're planning to move somewhere crazy and work 100% remote and have your boss be cool with it? That's the only thing that jumps to mind based on these last few posts.
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May 17, 2016 05:37
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Knyteguy posted:It's totally crazy You said it. Bring it up in therapy if you won't talk to us about it please
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May 17, 2016 06:24
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Breetai posted:
Bolding for the part of the Knyteguy cycle we're currently on. Seriously, you were doing so well, and now you're playing the 'I'm obfuscating major decisions from this thread' game again?
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May 17, 2016 06:59
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Hey guys how do I best approach my financial situation?
Generally speaking, you should create a budget and stick to it while paying down debt.
gently caress'S SAKE, stop doing that, track your finances, agree on a stable budget that you're capable of sticking to, and stick to it while paying down debt.
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I will post more about it when I know if it's feasible. Until then it doesn't mean much. 8-12 months away minimum anyway and that's if we're super solid on drastically cutting discretionary spending for that long, which isn't the most realistic thing in the world. But we want to try, and so we will. Reiterating: 1) We're going to be focusing more on paying down debt more quickly. Budget stays the same except for the cost of day care going up, which will come from discretionary. 2) Remote work full time woo hoo (likely, not for sure). Our lease is up in 6 months so we'll want to look into moving closer to my wife's work to cut commute time for her. This could mean a lot. I'll have a few months to see how remote work pans out, and then a few months to make a decision on moving. I really don't want to move again. It could really make my wife's life easier cutting down her 40-45 minute commute (1-way) and save us some money though, so we have to look into it. We'll have to weigh options. e: so relax everyone. Stuff is still going well. My only concern is keeping to the budget this month, and I intend to keep working hard to do that. I'll fill you in when I actually know what to fill you in on. Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 07:47 on May 17, 2016 |
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May 17, 2016 07:30
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Knyteguy posted:I will post more about it when I know if it's feasible. Until then it doesn't mean much. 8-12 months away minimum anyway and that's if we're super solid on drastically cutting discretionary spending for that long, which isn't the most realistic thing in the world. But we want to try, and so we will. Is THE THING the move/remote work, or is it something else. Your level of clarity within the thread is dropping and that's rarely a good sign.
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May 17, 2016 07:57
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Knyteguy posted:I really don't want to move again. It could really make my wife's life easier cutting down her 40-45 minute commute (1-way) and save us some money though, so we have to look into it. So you're going to try to buy a house...
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May 17, 2016 09:07
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Seriously, just out with it. Either it's a spur of the moment dumb idea that goons roll their eyes at and tell you not to do (and you can at least maybe get more perspectives on it) or it is workable and goons can maybe give you actual advice on it. Even if it's a far off future plan. The fact you're being vague and hiding things is kind of a bad sign. People tend to do that when they know they're doing something others will disapprove of. Not saying that's happening here but it kind of feels like it.
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May 17, 2016 13:17
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The people here could probably help you to prepare for your plan. The fact that you don't want to talk about it means what it always means: you're worried the thread will disagree with you. Also, I'll bring it up again- wasn't a huge part of you moving to where you are to be close to your family/mom? How will your sister still help with childcare or you help with hers or whatever the current arrangement is? If you start working from home 100%, will you sell your car?
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May 17, 2016 13:25
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Breetai posted:Is THE THING the move/remote work, or is it something else. Both? IllegallySober posted:
Kinda? n8r posted:So you're going to try to buy a house... No. Not yet. Eventually. RheaConfused posted:The people here could probably help you to prepare for your plan. The fact that you don't want to talk about it means what it always means: you're worried the thread will disagree with you. Well the thread will disagree with me unless I actually have some details and a plan. Like I said I don't know exactly what I'd be able to do here if I did it. But fine, here's what I'm looking into: http://www.technomadia.com/young-full-time-rving-nomads/ http://www.technomadia.com/the-finances-how-to-afford-it/ I'm looking into maybe doing something like this, if it's possible, in a year or so, for a year or so. The problem with all of it is there are so many unknowns financially and otherwise that I didn't think it was worth talking about it yet. Yeesh you guys are persistent. I don't even know if it's viable, if I could do it while working, how it would affect our finances, and about 1,000,000 other unknowns. I wanted to wait until I knew at least some of those before going into more detail. It's a neat idea though. I'd like to stress that I don't even know if it's something we want to do.
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May 17, 2016 15:22
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Ahahahahaha I was going to change the thread title in honor of this new shiny thing, but I see I don't need to.
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May 17, 2016 15:27
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slap me silly posted:Ahahahahaha drat straight! RheaConfused posted:The people here could probably help you to prepare for your plan. The fact that you don't want to talk about it means what it always means: you're worried the thread will disagree with you. Since this is more immediate and likely actually happening: Car - no I probably won't sell the car. Not unless I can get my boss to offer 100% remote work (ie never going into the office). Then I'll consider it. I'd rather not, though. It's not too expensive especially if it's just sitting. Moving close to family: yeah it was. My wife wasn't working so far then either though. I'm not sure we'll move or not, but we have 6.5 months to figure it out. Again I'd like to stay put.
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May 17, 2016 15:32
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Knyteguy posted:Both? Okay, so let's talk about this. What about this appeals to you? Is it simply the freedom to travel wherever you want? Is it that you're really into RVs and we just didn't know it? Do you think this is the best way to raise a family? I know you say you're thinking about this for a year only, but have you considered the difficulties of closing up shop where you're at as well as finding somewhere new to establish roots after only a year?
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May 17, 2016 15:36
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Today is therapy day right? Because seriously bring up this whole interaction that just happened if it is it's kind of important.
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May 17, 2016 15:37
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Knyteguy posted:Both? Quoting this for posterity. Your ability to derail yourself whenever you finally look like you're getting on the right track is probably something that you should bring up in therapy. Seriously; can't you just sit tight without getting grandiose plans for major life changes and just focus on sticking to your budget for an extended period while paying down debt? What is it about keeping an even hand on the keel and just staying in the same place but on the right course that dissatisfies you?
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May 17, 2016 15:38
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Breetai posted:Quoting this for posterity. Let's be fair here. He has said that his priority is still his budget and this is something potentially in the far future after his debt is all paid off etc. But I agree Knyteguy, you have a tendency to get excited about an idea, say you're not going to do it til you're ready, then get so excited about it you start thinking of ways to do it nownownow. Be mindful of this, bring it up in therapy.
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May 17, 2016 15:41
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IllegallySober posted:Okay, so let's talk about this. Nah I don't care about RVs in particular. Yes it's the freedom. This would be (even more) impractical if my son were in school (though some home school while doing this). Basically I really love road trips and I'd like to see more of the country, Canada, Alaska. Veskit posted:Today is therapy day right? Because seriously bring up this whole interaction that just happened if it is it's kind of important. It is yeah. I've thinking about how to talk about what I'm thinking. Tips? e: Rurutia posted:Let's be fair here. He has said that his priority is still his budget and this is something potentially in the far future after his debt is all paid off etc. For sure. And no it's not nownownow in this case. I actually keep delaying the possible date with "well I'd like $12,000 in an emergency fund... no make that $20,000" etc. Like I said guys... I'm feeling pretty mentally good. I just think it sounds like an adventure since remote work is a possibility. I'm like 25% serious about it because of how impractical I know it is. Pipe dream as I said. Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 15:44 on May 17, 2016 |
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May 17, 2016 15:41
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Knyteguy posted:It is yeah. I've thinking about how to talk about what I'm thinking. Tips? 5 whys. Start from the beginning and ask yourself why 5 times. So to start, why do you want to join and RV club. Then ask yourself why to that question and do it 5 times. It's usually a good way to start. You can even give it a shot here, write it out, don't delete, don't hold back.
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May 17, 2016 15:59
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KG I just want to point out that with your interest in the geek nomad lifestyle there are a number of ways you could engage your enthusiasm, some of which I'll try to enumerate: - You could have openly said "I've been reading up on technomadia! I am looking forward to trying to arrange this for myself after we get out of debt. Here is a goal I can work toward!" - You could have quietly to yourself acknowledged that it was an interesting idea that isn't feasible right now. - You could cagily say you're enthusiastic about some thing that will have financial consequences, and then duck discussing it for a page and a half until you fomented enough freakout. You did the third thing, whether you intended to at the outset or not. It was not a good way to develop trust, nor was it a good way to reinforce confidence that you will be doing financially responsible things. It was good at stirring up drama. Dwight Eisenhower fucked around with this message at 20:07 on May 17, 2016 |
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May 17, 2016 20:05
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Yes, because when you lived in a 2 bedroom apartment with your wife and five animals everything worked out so well. Adding another human to the mix and quartering the floor space will be much nicer. Edit: Have you ever even been in a camper/RV? It's a tin can with cheap upholstery and not a real toilet.
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May 17, 2016 20:16
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You would still have to maintain physical residence somewhere for tax/voting/residency purposes. e: also you'd have to raise your kid like a traveling nomad.
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May 17, 2016 20:20
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Robo Boogie Bot posted:Yes, because when you lived in a 2 bedroom apartment with your wife and five animals everything worked out so well. Adding another human to the mix and quartering the floor space will be much nicer.
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May 17, 2016 20:23
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Edit: too much text. I approached it poorly for sure. My bad. Let's go into this further if in a few months my wife and I are still up on the idea and we're still making strides (read: paying off debt at a greater rate from cutting discretionary) towards it. I'd like to go at this with full disclosure and stuff, and then maybe we can talk pros and cons, especially from a financial standpoint. Thanks for convincing me to just say it though. That wasn't so bad actually. I still wish this could have been put off for a few months to actually brew on it for a bit before bringing it up, but yeah oh well. My fault. Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 21:47 on May 17, 2016 |
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May 17, 2016 21:40
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Did you do the 5 why's exercise for therapy? If not do you have time to do it right now? Can you do it anyway so you can see what i'm getting at?
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May 17, 2016 21:48
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Knyteguy posted:Nah I don't care about RVs in particular. Yes it's the freedom. This, right here, is a red loving flag. To push an analogy (although addiction analogies are rather flexible): you know how when describing people with overeating disorders caused by psychological problems the metaphor is used that they 'eat their feelings'? You spend your feelings. So rather than working out how to bend your budget so that you can inject a large dollop of freedom via RV drip, maybe work out what has you feeling trapped in the first place.
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May 17, 2016 22:59
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Knyteguy posted:Nah I don't care about RVs in particular. Yes it's the freedom. This would be (even more) impractical if my son were in school (though some home school while doing this). You can do this now - just budget for vacations! Road trips are a great and inexpensive (depending on how you do it) way to see lots of great stuff. A few years ago I looked into doing a Rental RV to tour southern Utah/Grand Canyon, and if you go slightly off season the rates were not bad at all. Start small and simple, rent all that sort of stuff until you're a pro, take your time.
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May 17, 2016 23:17
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A friend of my husband's did this, actually. He and his wife have been doing it for a bit now. They have a blog about it, if you're interested in reading up on a couple who started up on this endeavor about two years ago or so (I honestly don't remember). They didn't actually start off with an RV, and they don't have children (just one smallish dog, iirc). B http://www.ardentcamper.com/ Not to encourage you or anything, but at least you can get an idea of what it would take and all the pitfalls that come with the lifestyle. I don't know how this ties into your whole "family is important and I want to live closer to them" thing, though.
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May 17, 2016 23:25
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Knyteguy posted:This would be (even more) impractical if my son were in school (though some home school while doing this). I mainly lurk, but just to pick up on something else, what qualifications or skills do you or your wife have that would make home schooling a good option? I'm not being sarcastic with that, genuinely asking. Do either of you have any experience in any kind of educational field, creating lesson plans, etc? I'm bringing this up only because every time I've seen this happen in families with no educational background, the parents have found themselves with no idea how to go about creating structured lesson plans or giving their child assistance if they're really struggling in an area, and so they give up on it within a few months and just let the kid read, because hey, reading's educational. After this, the kid generally has trouble readjusting to traditional classroom schooling at the end of the trip, but that's another story.
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May 17, 2016 23:28
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Make sure you look into the size of generator required to run that sweet gaming rig you just bought. Also your pings are gonna be poo poo, take that into account.
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May 17, 2016 23:32
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Hey it got Jonny 290 out of the South. Godspeed Knyteguy!
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May 18, 2016 01:32
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How does it make you feel when there are lulls in the thread? Lulls in the thread are usually a sign you're doing well - the most chaos happens when you look to be getting off track and everyone jumps to course-correct you. Is this a problem/do you prefer more activity in general? (I feel like I've seen you mention that before.) How does the idea of stability make you feel? That is: not having adventures? Not taking risks? How much stability do you want for yourself? What about for your family (wife/kid)? I've tried a couple times to make this point but I haven't been able to phrase it properly, so here's an attempt: Of the things you desire (your household (including pets)'s happiness and well-being, time spent with family, consuming a modest amount of nice things, being debt-free, financial stability, career growth) [this is my rough idea of your priorities, do they look roughly correct?], which ones do you feel are possible for you to attain without first achieving a dramatic increase in income? Which ones do you feel are not possible for you to attain without it? How does this relate to how badly you want a chance at more income and how much are you willing to sacrifice for that chance ("less time with kids for better career growth", "move away from family for more salary", etc -- but in more detail). How does your current idea (or any previous one, really -- the point is self-reflection) relate to your goals and values? Do they bring you further or closer to the things you value? For example: "I want to start a startup local to where I am. This means I will spend less time with my loved ones, but will advance my career." or "I will go on a vacation to the Bay Area. This pulls me further from my goal of being debt free, but will allow my son to meet some relatives for the first time, and bring me and my family closer together." A lot of your ideas seem to necessitate sacrifice but I'm not sure you always consider that part fully.
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May 18, 2016 02:14
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Veskit posted:Did you do the 5 why's exercise for therapy? If not do you have time to do it right now? Can you do it anyway so you can see what i'm getting at? Nah I just had therapy. I misunderstood your 5 whys. I tried to do it and it came down to adventure. And then something about God and the Universe. Let me know one more time and I'll try again if you'd like to see it. I did try and that was mostly what I came up with. n8r posted:You can do this now - just budget for vacations! Road trips are a great and inexpensive (depending on how you do it) way to see lots of great stuff. A few years ago I looked into doing a Rental RV to tour southern Utah/Grand Canyon, and if you go slightly off season the rates were not bad at all. Start small and simple, rent all that sort of stuff until you're a pro, take your time. This is a good idea. My 30th is coming up in 3 months, and I talked to my wife about giving it a trial run for a few days to see how we like it. It's not a great 1:1 with what the idea is, but it will show us kind of what it's like at least. Only problem is... I've looked at RV rentals and since Burning Man is so popular they can be as high as $3,500 for a week here. I'm sure there's less expensive options though I'll look. Breetai posted:This, right here, is a red loving flag. I think you're misunderstanding. I'm talking about doing this after we're out of debt, so the only budget tweak is actually just spending less discretionary and funneling it towards debt, without adjusting the discretionary category to keep it non-reactionary. foxatee posted:A friend of my husband's did this, actually. He and his wife have been doing it for a bit now. They have a blog about it, if you're interested in reading up on a couple who started up on this endeavor about two years ago or so (I honestly don't remember). They didn't actually start off with an RV, and they don't have children (just one smallish dog, iirc). B Very cool. We've been watching a lot of videos from a lot of people; we'll give this a look. Whitlam posted:I mainly lurk, but just to pick up on something else, what qualifications or skills do you or your wife have that would make home schooling a good option? I'm not being sarcastic with that, genuinely asking. Do either of you have any experience in any kind of educational field, creating lesson plans, etc? I'm bringing this up only because every time I've seen this happen in families with no educational background, the parents have found themselves with no idea how to go about creating structured lesson plans or giving their child assistance if they're really struggling in an area, and so they give up on it within a few months and just let the kid read, because hey, reading's educational. After this, the kid generally has trouble readjusting to traditional classroom schooling at the end of the trip, but that's another story. Well I'm not talking about staying long enough to do this by any means. My son would be 3 or something, so still a strong 2 years off from Kindergarten. I took a child development class in high school though because it was like all girls. My old friend and I just messed around though so we didn't pick up much. Star War Sex Parrot posted:Hey it got Jonny 290 out of the South. Godspeed Knyteguy! Thanks! If we do it of course. I was thinking it could be a cool way to city hunt in case we want to move from Reno in the future. I've spent time in Portland, LA, and San Francisco, but I'd definitely like to see more of what's out there. Horking Delight posted:How does it make you feel when there are lulls in the thread? Do you find this particular idea chaotic or unstable? If so can you go more into it? I'd like to hear the perspective. Second post incoming that detracts a bit to the therapy session. Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 04:02 on May 18, 2016 |
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May 18, 2016 03:57
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OK so I talked to the therapist. This is only my second visit, but he said hell yeah take the adventure IF we can do it. He said that our finances should be in order, and as long as we can afford it and my wife is on board then go for it. Financials in order to me would mean:
So yeah that's a whole heck of a lot to take on. My rough estimate is 15 months minimum now just listing it all out. Let me know what you guys think about what I'm saying here and I'll think on it, and likely adjust. I'm just being open so I'll probably be called out on something. That's OK with me. I do want you guys to know though that I'm still far from sold on it myself. Side note: I have to keep a depression/anxiety journal with the extreme of how I was feeling (mild/moderate/severe), why I felt that way, and how I coped with it. This is much different than how my previous psychologist did CBT.
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May 18, 2016 03:59
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. accidental double post Might as well post I guess. So yeah there's a ton of stuff that would need to be achieved. Let's go with what Dwight said he phrased it well: "I've been reading up on technomadia! I am looking forward to trying to arrange this for myself after we get out of debt. Here is a goal I can work toward!" I'm going to take some vacations (weekend mostly), hikes, and get outdoors to try to quell some of this "urge" for adventure and outdoors and travel. That could very well be enough of a taste without wanting to do something like this. I'll throw my plan in here soon when I come up with it. Thanks for the input. Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 04:06 on May 18, 2016 |
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May 18, 2016 04:01
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Knyteguy posted:Nah I just had therapy. I misunderstood your 5 whys. Please do since when u first saw it it was yolo and now it's good and the universe? Knyteguy posted:Side note: I have to keep a depression/anxiety journal with the extreme of how I was feeling (mild/moderate/severe), why I felt that way, and how I coped with it. This is much different than how my previous psychologist did CBT. Ahhhhh now it's starting to sound more like CBT.
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May 18, 2016 04:09
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I thought it was either going to be an RV or one of those portable tiny houses you pull with a truck. If a 2 bedroom didn't work out for you space-wise, and you didn't have a kid back then, how are you going to deal with an RV? Especially with animals, and doesn't one of the dogs /have/ to have a yard or it gets all crazy? Although I do understand the appeal of literally being able to drive away from your problems...
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May 18, 2016 04:19
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Knyteguy posted:This is a good idea. My 30th is coming up in 3 months, and I talked to my wife about giving it a trial run for a few days to see how we like it. It's not a great 1:1 with what the idea is, but it will show us kind of what it's like at least. You're doing that thing again where you fixate on something. You mentioned that you want to travel and have adventures. n8r pointed out that you can do that without buying an RV and roaming the continent with your wife and kid and animals. You can budget for and plan short trips. You immediately turned this into a trial run of the RV plan and were tripped up by the fact that on a specific weekend RVs cost a lot. You see this crazy tunnel vision you have going on here, right?
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May 18, 2016 04:27
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defectivemonkey posted:You're doing that thing again where you fixate on something. You mentioned that you want to travel and have adventures. n8r pointed out that you can do that without buying an RV and roaming the continent with your wife and kid and animals. You can budget for and plan short trips. You immediately turned this into a trial run of the RV plan and were tripped up by the fact that on a specific weekend RVs cost a lot. Ah I just missed his point. Check out my post above about doing little weekend trips and stuff, that's kind of how I would apply that. On my phone I'll reply to everyone else in a bit.
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May 18, 2016 04:36
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Knyteguy posted:OK so I talked to the therapist. This is only my second visit, but he said hell yeah take the adventure IF we can do it. He said that our finances should be in order, and as long as we can afford it and my wife is on board then go for it. What about non-financial things? By which I mostly mean your kid, I know you mentioned homeschooling and stuff before, but what about the social implications of moving him around all the time? I've got a 1 year old son myself and even at that age he's developed some "friends" at daycare, I put it in quotes because he has no concept of friends really yet, but from my own observations and what the daycare workers tell us there are definitely kids he's more comfortable playing with that others and that only happens from the routine of going 2 days every week.
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May 18, 2016 10:08
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