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Knyteguy posted:OK so I talked to the therapist. This is only my second visit, but he said hell yeah take the adventure IF we can do it. He said that our finances should be in order, and as long as we can afford it and my wife is on board then go for it. It's healthy to come up with a list like this and it's a pretty good set of criteria for achieving before you go whole hog. It's also healthy that you're more receptive to the feedback that you receive in this thread. There's good questions about what you will do with your animals and your child that you are not addressing in your list. You have a plan for doing this only if it's before your boy's heading off to kindergarten, but what is your plan for reintegrating when he does need to go to kindergarten? Remember ~1 month ago when you wanted to start a business in the new data center being built near you? How does your technomadia fit into that plan? Is that plan being abandoned? If that plan's being abandoned now because you have a new shiny thing to be enthusiastic about, would committing resources to it have been wasteful? If you had committed resources to it, would you have felt trapped to continue pursuing it due to the sunk cost fallacy? Is your enthusiasm for an RV fundamentally different from your previous enthusiasm for your own business? How does your RV plan fit into your FI desire (I originally wrote plan, but I do not think you have an FI plan yet)?
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May 18, 2016 14:14
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nikosoft posted:I thought it was either going to be an RV or one of those portable tiny houses you pull with a truck.
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May 18, 2016 14:39
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I think it would be a very healthy exercise to plan out the costs of this adventure, and then look at exactly how this will push back your timeline on buying a house. I feel like that's the one wish you've been super consistent with - you want a house. Is it worth pushing that back a few years to do this?
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May 18, 2016 15:26
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nikosoft posted:I thought it was either going to be an RV or one of those portable tiny houses you pull with a truck. Space is a concern. Many people that do this do have pets, but we were considering having a family member pet sit the cats while we're out (and paying them for their expenses taking care of them). Dogs would be great though. The things with slide outs don't seem too bad. Veskit posted:Please do since when u first saw it it was yolo and now it's good and the universe? I can try. Why? Adventure Why? To live life. Why? YOLO Why? God and the universe Why? ??? I genuinely can't come up with something other than that. I'm genuinely not trying to be obtuse here I'd like to see what you're getting at. Rudager posted:What about non-financial things? This is a tough answer. I'd expect he'd get socialization on the road, and we would be visiting some family in Arkansas in Florida that he's never met (great grandparents, great aunt and uncle). This is definitely something we'd need to think more on. Dwight Eisenhower posted:It's healthy to come up with a list like this and it's a pretty good set of criteria for achieving before you go whole hog. It's also healthy that you're more receptive to the feedback that you receive in this thread. SiGmA_X posted:This was my takeaway from the posts too. What about the pets! Well it seems that many do have pets with them. Just something to look into more. This is my wife's top concern, and it's not my top concern but it's something that I need to give a lot of thought to. RheaConfused posted:I think it would be a very healthy exercise to plan out the costs of this adventure, and then look at exactly how this will push back your timeline on buying a house. I feel like that's the one wish you've been super consistent with - you want a house. Is it worth pushing that back a few years to do this? Yeah a costs thing would be good. I'll try to find time this weekend. I'll answer your house question after the costs thing. I'll try to do a nice projection thing. I've been wanting to do that for awhile anyway.
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May 19, 2016 00:34
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Knyteguy posted:I can try. This post in of itself is living life. Specify it and it'll be easier. Talk about a feeling you want if that helps. This is to help you understand you better because right now you're saying you want to do this because it's literally God's will. Also answer the next question. You want to have an adventure (why?) Because you want to live life (why?)
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May 19, 2016 00:44
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Or think in terms of that I don't need to adventure like that to feel alive. Why do you?
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May 19, 2016 00:50
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Ah cool didn't realize I posted that. I was trying to figure out how to get my saved post at work onto the forums. Veskit I'll answer more tomorrow. Good news though! I'll be starting remote work full time very shortly. As far as when I start: next week I'm remote all week for the first time ever, and I'm not sure what's after that. As expected he'll want me to come in sometimes for face-to-faces. Now I just need to try to prove that that's unnecessary. So... ignoring the RV trip thing, that's cool no matter what. That should help us cut commute costs, and I'll free up 40 minutes of commute time a day (I come home for lunch). I'll try to add 40 minutes of some sort of production to my day in exchange.
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May 19, 2016 01:48
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That's great! What's happening with your actual raise?
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May 19, 2016 02:10
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Veskit posted:Or think in terms of that I don't need to adventure like that to feel alive. Why do you? To build off this: the why isn't "why does a thing happen". The why is "why do you feel this way". I think you got a little off track with your "yolo" response. It's not "why do you live once". It's "why do you think you need to spend your one life doing this specific thing instead of a different thing". Ex: 1. Horking, why did you spend a lot of money on clothes? Because the cheaper clothes don't fit me well, so tailoring would make them cost just as much as expensive clothes. 2. Why [is this a problem/is this a concern to you]? Because I don't have existing clothes that fit me and look nice. 3. Why [do you need clothes that fit you and look nice]? Because I am an adult and need to be able to dress professionally for work and other events. 4. Why [do you feel this way]? Because professionalism is, while not completely mandatory for my ability to keep a job, still universally considered important in certain contexts and will help my career. Additionally, I like looking nice to others. 5. Why [do you consider those things important]? I don't make the rules, I just follow them, and also because I care that friends and strangers have a positive impression of my appearance instead of a negative one. (I didn't "why?" about costs because it was in budget and there were no real equally good alternatives, but "why this way instead of a cheaper way" or "why now instead of later" are things you should ask too.) Colin Mockery fucked around with this message at 02:40 on May 19, 2016 |
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May 19, 2016 02:35
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Veskit posted:This post in of itself is living life. Specify it and it'll be easier. Talk about a feeling you want if that helps. This is to help you understand you better because right now you're saying you want to do this because it's literally God's will. Veskit posted:Or think in terms of that I don't need to adventure like that to feel alive. Why do you? Um you and Horking have me a bit confused on this particular thing. I want to do it because I think it would be fun. I like road trips. I don't need a road trip I just want one. RheaConfused posted:That's great! What's happening with your actual raise? In lieu of a raise unfortunately, but I'm OK with that. This is like a raise when you consider the expense cuts and tax benefits I'll get from this. If I were offered say (relatively random number) $67,000 at another job as far as my current job (10 mins away) or full remote work at my current salary, I'd take full remote work. It's not that I don't deserve a raise, it's simply that this is a good "in lieu of".
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May 19, 2016 03:59
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Knyteguy posted:Um you and Horking have me a bit confused on this particular thing. You wanted to rent a RV for a year, pack up the whole family, dump the pets, and hit the road for a year because it's fun and you like road trips? If the only answer you have to that question is yes, then, just say yes and we'll leave it at that and we'll get to it. If there's more to that, answer it and I'll do the rest of thy why questioning for you so you get to how this works. Horking Delight posted:5. Why [do you consider those things important]? Now you have a helluva question to ask yourself with why do you care so much about what your friends and strangers think of you 
Veskit fucked around with this message at 04:27 on May 19, 2016 |
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May 19, 2016 04:15
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It looks like if you rent after the school year starts out of Vegas you can get RVs for ~$100/day including miles/fuel. You could do a great southern Utah tour during that time of the year. This story reminds me a bit of a situation I had with some friends a few years ago. They decided that they wanted to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro despite never having done much in the way of climbing/mountaineering/outdoor stuff. I live in an area that has multiple lifetimes of all of this sort of stuff. Deciding to move in an RV and not have a home is similar to decide that you need to fly to Africa for your first mountaineering experience. Start small, rent/borrow stuff, plan ahead and budget for. Don't make your first experience in an RV some drastic thing like where you have no home.
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May 19, 2016 04:37
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Knyteguy posted:In lieu of a raise unfortunately, but I'm OK with that. This is like a raise when you consider the expense cuts and tax benefits I'll get from this. Careful on the tax benefits thing. I believe that you can only claim your home office for remote work if your employer does not an office for you as well. If you do go full time and there is no office, this shouldn't be an issue. The other legal aspect is that the portion of your house you separate for work, can only be used for work, nothing else. You can make it part of a room, keep in mind at the end of the year the simple deduction basically will ask for your utilities/rent/taxes for all year, and then use the percentage of the house your office occupies to build a deduction off of that. It's really not a huge amount, even if you meet all the other requirements.
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May 19, 2016 05:25
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Veskit posted:Now you have a helluva question to ask yourself with why do you care so much about what your friends and strangers think of you Sometimes, a man's gotta make sure everyone can see he's a baller.  Oh god, I spent a previous month's discretionary on Wha-what's happening to me!??? I'm feeling the sudden urge to buy a scorpion mural for my living room wall.
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May 19, 2016 06:01
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LEDs for the bedroom ceiling or gtfo.
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May 19, 2016 06:01
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Knyteguy posted:Um you and Horking have me a bit confused on this particular thing. So, the thing is, you can't really live your life just blindly following where your impulses take you. Not for big decisions. "I like road trips" would be more appropriate for a scenario like "So we saved up 5,000 for a family vacation, what should we spend it on" and not, as other people have pointed out, completely uprooting the lives of you and your family for an extended period of time. Or for "How are we going to spend the fourth of July weekend? I know, road trip to see family (good thing we budgeted for spending on 4th of July stuff)!" You asked a bit earlier about if I think your idea is chaotic and unstable and honestly, part of me is a little bit confused about how you could possibly not see it as that. Risky ideas aren't bad, and instability isn't necessarily bad, and adventure is inherently unstable/chaotic. This isn't a bad thing. But you're talking about making big changes not only instead of little ones (as n8r pointed out about doing mini road trips), but sometimes even before trying them out in little ways first. You can't do things like that anymore. Everything has a trade-off and they should be a critical part of the decision making process -- "more salary or better commute?", "less rent or closer proximity to family", "this impulse purchase or saving the money for later or a cheaper impulse purchase and split the difference?", "what can i do to make the new business I want to start less risky for myself? more research? keeping another part-time job? larger savings buffer first?" You're an adult. You have responsibilities. Even when you're doing fun things, you still have to make sure your responsibilities are taken care of. You can't just drop everything and go off on an adventure whenever you feel like it. I mean, I guess putting it out like that is kind of a downer statement, but that's the reality of it. I don't know how to phrase this right, but does that bother you? Obviously it's a source of stress for you, and obviously it's very important to you, but does the knowledge that you have responsibilities bother you? It's okay if it does; that's totally normal. But you still can't drop certain balls. You're not too adult to have fun or have adventures, but you're definitely too adult to do it impulsively.
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May 19, 2016 06:58
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I think that Knyte tends to become unhappy with some internal aspect of his life, and then assume that a major life change will fix it. First, he decided that an extreme debt diet was the answer, and moved into the too-small lovely apartment, then the apartment was the problem, so he broke his lease and moved into the house to be closer to his family, then he was going to move cross country because a better job was the answer, then he got a bug up his rear end and bought the car, then he was going to start his own business, now he's going to move his family into an RV that will be even smaller than the apartment that made him so miserable to begin with. I'm sure I missed a few of his wild swings in there. Knyte, do you still not see the pattern here? You keep looking for some big external change to satisfy some inner need. When you have stability, you want "adventure", then you immerse yourself in chaos and freak out over the lack of stability. Nobody has that perfect balance all the time, but you constantly swing between one extreme and the other. Most people would say, "hey, I feel like getting out of town, let's try to save & pool our discretionary money for a couple of months and take a road trip". You say "I want to move into an RV for a year even though I'm miserable in cramped spaces and ditch my pets who people have been telling me for ages to rehome but I love them too much and spend 24-7 with no breaks from my son even though I've said before that he's a really difficult and exhausting child and be far from my family even though being close to them was the big reason for my last move" and so on. And I know you've said that you won't do the RV thing until you meet a bunch of other goals, but you say that about every major move or purchase, then just shrug and do it anyway.
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May 19, 2016 12:27
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I want to add to the dogpile because you unsurprisingly managed to take a Socratic dialogue, plug your ears and miss the point. You have come up with distracting desires, pursued them, achieved them, and then received no meaningful satisfaction out of them while burning money in the process. Examples include your small apartment which you broke a lease on, your vr headset you sold at a loss, your camaro, your gaming pc you hid from the thread for months... etc. You've done these things and now in the present you are trying to fix the unease in your life by getting an RV and going nomadic. The previous iterations of material acquisition did not leave you content and satisfied. Why the gently caress will the RV? If your stated goals are "I want to frivolously fritter away my income on fleeting material pleasures while keeping my head above water." then you are exactly succeeding. But you've stated other goals like getting out of debt, owning a home, and achieving financial independence. Frivolously frittering away your income on fleeting material pleasures is directly in opposition to these goals. You can get this entire thread off your back if you state that your goals are consistent with your behavior. You've made some good improvements, but you really need to pull your head out of your rear end, get some internally consistent priorities, and be honest about it. Either you want to read about interesting things, start planning to commit your limited resources to them, and enjoy life in the now; or you want to make a plan for the long term which gives you more stability and more independence but will require you rejecting a great deal of material acquisition in the present and the near term for many years. Getting out of debt is compatible with both, but until you can get your own mind coherent you'll both be feeling stressed out at the internal conflict, and you won't have much direction once you get out of debt if you don't resolve this.
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May 19, 2016 14:36
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So you weren't willing to get rid of the pets when you were living in a tiny apartment, even though financially it would've been a responsible move, BUT you're completely willing to dump the responsibility of your pets on someone else because YOLO?
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May 19, 2016 14:41
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foxatee posted:So you weren't willing to get rid of the pets when you were living in a tiny apartment, even though financially it would've been a responsible move, BUT you're completely willing to dump the responsibility of your pets on someone else because YOLO? This was pretty much my thought too. If that's really how you feel about your pets, then you shouldn't have them. Just my opinion.
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May 19, 2016 15:33
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In fact, you felt so strongly over it that it became a topic non grata for the duration of that saga.
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May 19, 2016 15:49
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Namarrgon posted:In fact, you felt so strongly over it that it became a topic non grata for the duration of that saga. As it should stay. What are you guys trying to accomplish here? Are you trying to talk me out of it because it's a bad idea? Are you saying my motivations for doing so are weak? I've definitely been internally consistent, and I think I've shown that in the thread. All the way back to July 2014 Knyteguy posted:I mean technically we are in the black right? It's all a matter of how much money we spend on frivolous crap. I'd like to note that before I got my good job about 1.5 years ago we were living on $19,000 take home a year. Everything we spend money on at this point that isn't rent, food, or gas is all frivolous crap to me. Bolding mine.
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May 19, 2016 16:10
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You're busy being worried about the thread's motivations when in reality I'm just trying to understand why this is important to you. This exercise helps do it. It's all a part of mindfulness and figuring out what makes you want to do these things and you're having a really hard time with it. Just stick to the exercise, take it seriously and see where it goes, you know, like a road trip. Knyteguy posted:We want the freedom to go take a (frugal) road trip around the United States, to hike the Appalachian Trail, to begin working on starting a charity we've been talking about for the past few years, to travel the world getting cool cultural experiences. Blah blah right? This isn't the same as your RV idea, which is why i was asking you to dissect the rv idea a little more.
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May 19, 2016 16:18
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Knyteguy posted:What are you guys trying to accomplish here? Are you trying to talk me out of it because it's a bad idea? Are you saying my motivations for doing so are weak? I think they are trying to get you to identify the way you bounce from crazy idea to crazy idea and identify the idea/pattern before you take any actions, because within a month you will have moved on to the next thing anyway. Also, buying a camper and living in it for a year is a particularly terrible idea considering you couldn't handle a smaller house. Why do you start on such a grand scale? Why don't you start with an idea of renting one for a two week road trip vacation and see how it goes?
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May 19, 2016 16:19
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Knyteguy posted:
Buddy, this makes me feel really really sad for you. You're being manipulated by your boss. I've been there. He offered you something shiny that he knows you want, while avoiding what he actually should have done, which is give you a raise. Now he's reset the timeline. How long do you think it will be before you'll have another real chance at a raise? I went through two long years of negotiations trying to get a raise and all I ever got was a shiny new title that meant nothing really. Then I left and got a much better job with better benefits and a boss who doesn't jerk me around and who values me for the good work I do and rewards it. I've gotten more raises in the three years I've been here than I did in ten years at my last job, and I work for the GOVERNMENT now! Are you getting any of the things you should be getting that come along with working from home like your employer paying for your monthly internet and your supplies like computer and monitor etc provided by your office?
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May 19, 2016 16:19
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RheaConfused posted:Buddy, this makes me feel really really sad for you. You're being manipulated by your boss. I've been there. He offered you something shiny that he knows you want, while avoiding what he actually should have done, which is give you a raise. Now he's reset the timeline. How long do you think it will be before you'll have another real chance at a raise? I went through two long years of negotiations trying to get a raise and all I ever got was a shiny new title that meant nothing really. Then I left and got a much better job with better benefits and a boss who doesn't jerk me around and who values me for the good work I do and rewards it. I've gotten more raises in the three years I've been here than I did in ten years at my last job, and I work for the GOVERNMENT now! Sad? Nah I know exactly what he's doing. As soon as he brought up the raise I could tell there was a bit of bullshitting there. I get my own here too. My plan is to try to find a full time remote job if I like this moving forward. Is it ideal? No. Does it enable me right this minute to what I want to do? Yes. I fully knew that I gave up some leverage asking for remote. Feel sad if I'm stuck in this situation. I don't feel stuck at all. My job is doing what I need it to do right now. Droo posted:I think they are trying to get you to identify the way you bounce from crazy idea to crazy idea and identify the idea/pattern before you take any actions, because within a month you will have moved on to the next thing anyway. I do see that. That's what I'm saying re: taking small trips. I said "I'm going to try doing some camping and small weekend trips to cure the itch, and my 30th is coming up I may rent an RV for that so we can give it a small trial run". I'm in a bit of a no-win here again, so I'm stepping out for a bit. I don't like that my therapist is being countered here though. This is why I pay him money.
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May 19, 2016 16:26
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Knyteguy posted:
Is what you want right now for reasons what is best for your career advancement? Which is what helps you to achieve your goals? And also, and please, I'm not trying to bust your chops here or whatever, aren't you the slightest bit concerned that your boss might be moving you toward letting you go? Parent company in trouble? Boss needs to save money so he doesn't give you a raise and lets you work remotely 100% (something he has seemingly been against in the past) and people are being laid off? I would be extremely alarmed if I were in your spot. Edit: Also, can you answer my questions about your boss covering the expenses that he should be covering if you are working remote? I'm sorry you're getting annoyed that the thread is not agreeing with you. I am really actually concerned that you just got duped. edit again: Seriously, how long do you think it will be before you have another chance at a raise? 
RheaConfused fucked around with this message at 16:43 on May 19, 2016 |
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May 19, 2016 16:33
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Droo posted:I think they are trying to get you to identify the way you bounce from crazy idea to crazy idea and identify the idea/pattern before you take any actions, because within a month you will have moved on to the next thing anyway. Yeah, the point isn't to shame you or force you to acknowledge repeatedly that it's a bad idea or that you sometimes have bad ideas. This thread is way past that by now. Right now, given that you've exhibited a pattern of having bad ideas (and executing on them), we're trying to get to the root of why this keeps happening, because you're never going to meet your other goals if you keep chasing your impulses. Is it that you have trouble considering/seeing downsides when you're excited? Fine, we can work on that. Is it a need you have that isn't being met? We can brainstorm other ways of meeting that need. Is it that you forget about/need help brainstorming the baby steps necessary before you can take bigger steps? We can help there too. But it's really hard to help when we don't understand where these things come from.
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May 19, 2016 16:33
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Knyteguy posted:I'm in a bit of a no-win here again, so I'm stepping out for a bit. I don't like that my therapist is being countered here though. This is why I pay him money. They are your therapist, not your financial adviser. They said do it IF you could afford it. From your own post a couple of pages ago, you want to put $1,000 towards a house/month and $500/month towards retirement. $20K in savings, which at another $500/mo will take you 40 months or just over 3 years. So there's $2000/mo out of your $5,700/mo, with more coming out until your debts are paid off. That's almost half of your take-home income. It's good, relatively speaking, that you have downgraded "full-blown nomad for a year" to "taking some small trips and renting an RV." Now, lets see you budget for it, instead of bitching and whining that your therapist said you should do it and that you're turning 30. Let me tell you about turning 30 - you watch "Logan's Run", have some beers with some friends, and get on with life. It's another year closer to death, like every other birthday, not an arbitrary reason to throw your budget out the window to achieve some completely arbitrary milestone that is completely not aligned with your goals.
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May 19, 2016 16:39
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Knyteguy posted:OK so I talked to the therapist. This is only my second visit, but he said hell yeah take the adventure IF we can do it. He said that our finances should be in order, and as long as we can afford it and my wife is on board then go for it. We're not going against what your therapist said. We're telling you that the idea is literally the opposite of other goals you have told us in the past (stay close to family, buy a house) and trying to figure out why that is. If you got your financial poo poo in order (are the admiral shares the ones you only get when you put in at least 10k total?) and were out of debt, several of your goals would already be met and the thread would be much more open to the idea.
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May 19, 2016 16:47
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Knyteguy posted:I'm in a bit of a no-win here again, so I'm stepping out for a bit. I don't like that my therapist is being countered here though. This is why I pay him money. Asking why you want to do something isn't telling you what to do. I'm just trying to figure out why. If you'd like, after the fact why don't you bring up that a friend challenged your idea by trying to ask why you want to do this, and then ask if your therapist feels countered by it? That's good middleground right? Horking Delight posted:We're not going against what your therapist said. We're telling you that the idea is literally the opposite of other goals you have told us in the past (stay close to family, buy a house) and trying to figure out why that is. I'm not even going that far, I just really am trying to figure out the reasoning. There's a million ways to point out Knytes contradictions but in reality it's hard to help him out of a situation where he feels that RVing across country for a year is a good idea. Horking Delight posted:Yeah, the point isn't to shame you or force you to acknowledge repeatedly that it's a bad idea or that you sometimes have bad ideas. This thread is way past that by now. Right now, given that you've exhibited a pattern of having bad ideas (and executing on them), we're trying to get to the root of why this keeps happening, because you're never going to meet your other goals if you keep chasing your impulses. Then again spot on. Knyte if you aren't ready for this just say you aren't and I'll walk away for a while, but I really do think if you allow yourself to be vulnerable you'll get to a better place faster.
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May 19, 2016 17:01
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Knyteguy posted:What are you guys trying to accomplish here? Are you trying to talk me out of it because it's a bad idea? Are you saying my motivations for doing so are weak? Not at all. I am all in favour of doing the things you want and bring you joy in life instead of maximizing imaginary high scores. The thread is worried, because this seems like another impulsive 'plan' that will come with heaps of negative (financial) consequences that you may not realize. And you have a bit of a habit of impulsively deciding these things (even when you say you don't). We are worried about you. We want to see you accomplish your goals. We do, actually, want you to be happy. The RV road trip is a good idea.
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May 19, 2016 17:01
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Horking Delight posted:We're not going against what your therapist said. We're telling you that the idea is literally the opposite of other goals you have told us in the past (stay close to family, buy a house) and trying to figure out why that is. There's a miscommunication issue here. I'm telling you guys exactly what I want to do, and I've been saying it for like 2 years now. I'm not saying when, which is what I think you guys are worried about. 2-3 years from now is cool with me. Sooner if we buckle down and cut our discretionary expenses. Aagar posted:They are your therapist, not your financial adviser. They said do it IF you could afford it. From your own post a couple of pages ago, you want to put $1,000 towards a house/month and $500/month towards retirement. $20K in savings, which at another $500/mo will take you 40 months or just over 3 years. So there's $2000/mo out of your $5,700/mo, with more coming out until your debts are paid off. That's almost half of your take-home income. So in 3 years we do it. I never said this had to be right now. Turning 30 I'm talking about doing something for my birthday not for the RV. I'm just keen to the RV idea right now so I think it would be a fun 30th. Remember there was a big feelings analysis on me and it was suggested I should do something for my birthday since I find it important while planning ahead for it. That's what I'm saying I'll do. I've never said I plan on throwing the budget out the window. I'm only talking about cutting expenses to get out of debt more quickly without changing the actual budget. RheaConfused posted:Is what you want right now for reasons what is best for your career advancement? Which is what helps you to achieve your goals? I can expend energy worrying (paying emotional interest on a thing that may not happen), or just do my best at work and accept that if something happens then we've been working on our finances. We'd be alright for awhile, and I can find another job or freelance or contract or work on a business opportunity presented. I didn't see that question. The remote expenses he'll cover is a computer. I can bring the work computer (dual monitor fast comp) home. I probably will do so. I'd probably take a $45,000/yr job to work remotely like this. Namarrgon posted:Not at all. I am all in favour of doing the things you want and bring you joy in life instead of maximizing imaginary high scores. See that's cool. Yeah I think an RV trip like this would make me happy, and if we do it then I want to do responsibly. As long as it takes to get there to do it responsibly. And if we take steps towards doing it without spending any money, then we're ahead of schedule for our finances and we can throw RV money into a house down payment or investments. Win-win. Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 17:04 on May 19, 2016 |
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May 19, 2016 17:02
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Knyteguy posted:
I don't understand how you could possibly feel like this. To me, this statement really cements my belief that you were so gung ho on the idea of working remotely that you didn't consider the implications it could have on your overall career path. When will you get another chance at a raise?
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May 19, 2016 17:20
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RheaConfused posted:I don't understand how you could possibly feel like this. To me, this statement really cements my belief that you were so gung ho on the idea of working remotely that you didn't consider the implications it could have on your overall career path. When will you get another chance at a raise? I have faith in myself that I'll make more money eventually. So far I haven't been wrong. Now if we're getting into the mid $70,000s instead of the mid $60,000s (which is the most I would have gotten up to at this place), then that's different. But for now I actually feel like I duped my boss. gently caress yes underwear working, full 1 hour lunch breaks, no commute time, less money spent on clothes (except for comfortable shorts), potentially spending lunches with my wife, etc. That makes me more happy than a relatively paltry raise (I got 3% last time). As far as the next raise, probably next year again. I'll play it by ear. I know this is the financial thread, but isn't it supposed to be about what makes you happy? This recontented me with my work. What I'm thinking about doing to increase my value though is taking that 40 minutes of time I was commuting and learning javascript and some frameworks. Pick up some DevOps skills too. Then I get a real remote job with real developer pay at a real company, and then laugh my way around North America in my fifth wheel whilst slowly becoming a gypsy
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May 19, 2016 17:36
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Hey real quick though, as an aside and immediate thing: Our checks (we ran out so we ordered from VistaPrint) are nearly a week late, and it was already a 10 day lead time, so we haven't paid our additional debt money towards the car yet. Since my job is trending towards maybe possibly unstable, what do you guys think about holding onto our debt pay down amount for a few months and putting it towards the emergency fund? That would bring our efund up from $1,000 to $2,700. Veskit Horking let me think about the why more. I know why but I'm having trouble putting it out there. I'd like to put my goals out there again and clarify some stuff. To me and my wife most everything is consistent. To you guys obviously not. Aagar we'll keep the budget the same for a trip for my 30th, but we'll just be spending less in discretionary to pay for it.
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May 19, 2016 18:14
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Knyteguy posted:Veskit Horking let me think about the why more. I know why but I'm having trouble putting it out there. I'd like to put my goals out there again and clarify some stuff. To me and my wife most everything is consistent. To you guys obviously not. A goal and a motivation are not the same thing. I see that this trip is consistent with what you want to do, and it's extra consistent with who you are as a person. We're completely lost on the why, and the why this is important to you. I'm not sure you're talking about that to your wife especially in that way. I'll throw out another example using a personal experience. My girlfriend met someone right before graduation, and she invited us over to hang out and play games and stuff. We all had a fun time, and they were SUPER EXCITED to have us around. I couldn't accept their excitement to me it's offputing. So why is it off puting to me? Well they're coming on too strong. Why does it matter they're coming on too strong? Because I don't want to get excited with them like that? Why don't I want to do that? Because I'm worried that we won't become friends and the relationship we're making will vanish. Lastly, why, because I'm bad at keeping friends in general. I'm offput by people being nice because I'm worried that they won't want to be around me. Now that I know this I can work on making myself a more accepting person to be around. Remembering these htings helps, especially with the day to day. The why is important, so really stop and think about A) Why it's important B) Why you're having a hard time expressing this
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May 19, 2016 18:34
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Knyteguy posted:Hey real quick though, as an aside and immediate thing: Our checks (we ran out so we ordered from VistaPrint) are nearly a week late, and it was already a 10 day lead time, so we haven't paid our additional debt money towards the car yet. Since my job is trending towards maybe possibly unstable, what do you guys think about holding onto our debt pay down amount for a few months and putting it towards the emergency fund? That sounds like a good plan on both fronts. I think, like a lot of posters, I was getting lost in the details with how fast plans were changing. Keeping the birthday within budget is obviously a good plan - depending on the date, you can start underspending your discretionary now and putting it in a jar (literally or metaphorically) so you have more to play with. Building your emergency fund first is a good idea regardless of the particulars. You want it in case of job loss, Camero breakdown, unexpected illness, etc. etc. etc. It's good to have that in the bank first - then go to town on the debt. I think why I particularly got frustrated was your $1000/mo house, $500/mo retirement and $500/mo (or more) emergency fund. Regardless of debt payment, that is a huge change to your budget, on the same scale as your crash spending diet. Take it from someone who does put that much away every month ($1000/mo mortgage prepayment, $1000/mo retirement, $500/mo emergency fund), and it's such an ambivalent feeling - one one hand I feel great that I am meeting my savings goals, but at the same time I always feel like I have no money to do anything else. In the past you've had problems with that big of a constraint on your spending, which will mean either you or your wife (or both) making more money. I think this is why some posters are harping on the raise, and also why everyone loses their mind when you come up with going nomad for a year (and buying an RV). How would it help either of your careers by going off the grid for a year? You want a house. You want retirement savings. If those are your two most prioritized goals, from where I'm sitting it looks like some things are going to have to drastically change (more income or drastically less spending) to make that happen with the numbers you posted.
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May 19, 2016 18:41
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Dwight Eisenhower posted:If your stated goals are "I want to frivolously fritter away my income on fleeting material pleasures while keeping my head above water." then you are exactly succeeding. But you've stated other goals like getting out of debt, owning a home, and achieving financial independence. Frivolously frittering away your income on fleeting material pleasures is directly in opposition to these goals. You can get this entire thread off your back if you state that your goals are consistent with your behavior. Quoting myself because you took "Your stated goals and your behavior are not consistent" to mean "don't talk about a plan to be an rv nomad" Pretty much anything you do that isn't hibernating will cost resources, be it burning calories you need to buy food to replace, or depreciation on an rv you sell after being a nomad for a few years. You spend a lot of time talking and thinking of ways to spend your resources that will have a short term anticipated payoff (I will drop $2500 today and I will have a Camaro I can drive today), and you seem to be making moderate progress on midterm planning (I will put $1500 against the principal of my debts.), but I'm not satisfied with your long term vision. I don't think I've ever seen you drive a decision on a long time frame yourself, you've got to have someone from this thread push you there. You need to start thinking differently if you want to get those long term goals. Or you need to say those long term goals are not realistic for you as a person and will not actually make you happy and find different goals. I think that your flavor of the month Big Idea That Needs Big Money is a symptom of you not having vaguely coherent goals between the short, medium, and long terms.
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May 19, 2016 19:07
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Does your credit union not give you checks for free? Weird. Anyways: I think (I phonepost this thread a lot so I might be misremembering/misreading) I saw your original timeline being "do this in a year, for a year", which imo is almost comically infeasible (3+ years from now is less bad, but your ability to execute on long-term plans is iffy so I'd be cautious) and really reflective of "did not fully consider how I was going to get to this point". However, I think a road trip for your 30th birthday party is a great plan and honestly when I read your post about it I started getting a little excited on your behalf. You should try rolling over your discretionary to save up for that now! The more you save, the more you can spend on your road trip! I think it'd be a great way to celebrate a birthday, and you can start guesstimating a budget now (maybe several, depending on meeting different savings goals). Here's some reasons why I like this birthday trip idea: You know you need (emotionally) to do something special for your birthday. Your birthday is several months from now, which gives you time to plan/budget. It's a vacation, not an entire lifestyle change, and you've not had a vacation in a while, right? You get practice living with your entire family in a tin box (in case your long-term goal remains towards that). It won't be too hard to "upgrade" parts of your planned trip if you save more than the original budget (a nicer dinner place or buying some gifts for family if you save an extra 100 of discretionary this month that you keep for this trip, for example). Do you have an idea yet about how much you want to budget for this trip (roughly)? How are you going to save for it? Also you're not going to easily find a place to work that's fulltime remote AND has room for you to learn/grow. That's really rare, because teams work best if they're physically in the same location (or at least the same time zone), and the best way to learn from teammates is to be around them and communicating with them a lot. I think a full-time remote job is not the best choice for your career (for your next position -- this one's already a dead end and you're the only dev so who cares). That being said, I do think a full remote setup will be good for your happiness and you really are making enough to be comfortable if you get out of debt and control your spending better, so I don't really care. What are your thoughts on the matter?
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May 20, 2016 01:59
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