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trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe
Platini resigned as head of UEFA, so he can focus on his defense for the bribery charges against him.

http://en.as.com/en/2016/05/09/football/1462790241_627253.html

quote:

“I note today's decision by the Court of Arbitration for Sport but I consider it a profound injustice,” Platini said in a statement. “This decision inflicts a suspension for which the length stops me, de facto, and by luck, from being a candidate in the next FIFA presidential election. As agreed with the national associations, I resign as president of UEFA to pursue my fight before the Swiss courts to prove my probity in this case. Life has always kept beautiful surprises for me, now I am free to live them”.

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Poonior Toilett
Aug 21, 2004

m'lady

Canadian soccer head elected president of embattled CONCACAF

Good. He actually did a decent job cleaning up the CSA.

vyelkin
Jan 2, 2011

Jermaine Dildoe posted:

Canadian soccer head elected president of embattled CONCACAF

Good. He actually did a decent job cleaning up the CSA.

He may be the only non-corrupt head of a continental association, good for him. I'm surprised he managed to win at all, tbh.

Poonior Toilett
Aug 21, 2004

m'lady

vyelkin posted:

He may be the only non-corrupt head of a continental association, good for him. I'm surprised he managed to win at all, tbh.

Are you questioning the integrity of Bermuda Football Association president Larry Mussenden?

African AIDS cum
Feb 29, 2012


Welcome back, welcome back, welcome baaaack

Jermaine Dildoe posted:

Canadian soccer head elected president of embattled CONCACAF

Good. He actually did a decent job cleaning up the CSA.

Hmm, looks like a "paisan" and you know how these people can be

Gigi Galli
Sep 19, 2003

and then the car turned in to fire

African AIDS cum posted:

Hmm, looks like a "paisan" and you know how these people can be

enjoy your ban

ukle
Nov 28, 2005
Ok that's very left field. FIFA has appointed someone with no history in football to in effect head it, and they are Female.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/36289757

quote:

Senegal's Fatma Samba Diouf Samoura has been appointed as Fifa's first female secretary general.

She succeeds former secretary general Jerome Valcke, who was banned from football-related activity for 12 years.

Samoura, 54, spent 21 years working for the United Nations and will start at football's governing body in June.

Career UN worker becomes the 'CEO' of FIFA, good move for FIFA if they want to really try and change the organisation - assuming she isn't very corrupt as well.

jyrka
Jan 21, 2005


Potato Count: 2 small potatoes
Jesus...

Poonior Toilett
Aug 21, 2004

m'lady

The first executive meeting devolves into chaos as the members fruitlessly try to explain the offside rule

Poonior Toilett
Aug 21, 2004

m'lady

But whatever, it's not like football's brightest minds have done a bang-up job so sure, pick a random, who cares, how much worse could it be

Tayter Swift
Nov 18, 2002

Pillbug
One day you'll open your mailbox to find a summons for Fifa Duty, and you'll swear real loud when you see it

Maybe you'll be able to get out of it by saying you're not racist

vyelkin
Jan 2, 2011
It turns out FIFA is just a huge corrupt business and no one who runs it has ever played football so it really doesn't matter that she doesn't have any experience in this particular field. Can't wait for Blatter to say she'd do a better job with shorter pants though.

Bea Nanner
Oct 20, 2003

Je suis excité!
FIFA never changes. http://www.bbc.com/sport/football/36293324

straight up brolic
Jan 31, 2007

After all, I was nice in ball,
Came to practice weed scented
Report card like the speed limit

:homebrew::homebrew::homebrew:

this is very funny

Riven
Apr 22, 2002

FTFY

Hoops
Aug 19, 2005


A Black Mark For Retarded Posting
Removing the independence of your oversight committees is the #1 example of poor corporate governance.

Living Image
Apr 24, 2010

HORSE'S ASS

Hoops posted:

Removing the independence of your oversight committees is the #1 example of poor corporate governance.

It's hilarious, they've learned absolutely nothing. If anything it's worse.

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

Corrode posted:

It's hilarious, they've learned absolutely nothing. If anything it's worse.
Some are suspecting that the reason why Samoura was given the position that she was is so Infantino can tell her to gently caress off to developing countries and work on their football infrastructure while he personally negotiates media rights deals with no oversight.

Byolante
Mar 23, 2008

by Cyrano4747
I like that they found a way to give the new 'less overeaching powers' not-the-exco exco more power than the old one

TheBigAristotle
Feb 8, 2007

I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money.
I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.

Grimey Drawer
Qatar bans bachelors from parks, malls, and other public places

A budding apartheid, nice.

JFairfax
Oct 23, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

anti intellectualism is repugnant

Kurtofan
Feb 16, 2011

hon hon hon

"Bachelor workers are eroding the privacy and comfort of families,"

It's opposite day every day in Qatar

Poonior Toilett
Aug 21, 2004

m'lady

Kurtofan posted:

"Bachelor workers are eroding the privacy and comfort of families,"

It's opposite day every day in Qatar

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer
https://www.theguardian.com/football/2016/may/18/norwegian-sepp-blatter-role-model-fifa-head-of-strategy-kjetil-siem

quote:

The Fifa president, Gianni Infantino, has hired the Norwegian FA official Kjetil Siem as his new director of strategy to oversee reform – two years after Siem hailed Sepp Blatter as “a role model”.
...
Siem leaves Norway’s FA after a difficult few months, having recently given in to pressure to make public what officials claimed in expenses. Siem said he had only resisted previous demands for transparency to avoid revealing where he had travelled, risking damaging commercial negotiations.

lol

Syncopated
Oct 21, 2010

I expected this to be homophobic, but apparently it's just racist. Possibly both.

9-Volt Assault
Jan 27, 2007

Beter twee tetten in de hand dan tien op de vlucht.

Funny how thew new boss is showing himself to be just as bad as the old one.

CubanMissile
Apr 22, 2003

Of Hulks and Spider-Men
I wanna see the meetings where everyone left just keeps telling each other that everything is fine and they can continue to do whatever they want.

porkface
Dec 29, 2000

CubanMissile posted:

I wanna see the meetings where everyone left just keeps telling each other that everything is fine and they can continue to do whatever they want.

King of False Promises
Jul 31, 2000



More trouble for Infantino, apparently.

https://twitter.com/Tim_Roehn/status/738408743348637696

tk
Dec 10, 2003

Nap Ghost

I believe two of these sentences.

gipskrampf
Oct 31, 2010
Nap Ghost
The Swiss press has scans of the incriminating e-mails:



http://www.derbund.ch/sport/fifa-verhaftungen/infantinos-machtkampf/story/31098135

Tayter Swift
Nov 18, 2002

Pillbug
Guilty of using a loving Blackberry in 2016

Machinegunboyo
Apr 26, 2010


life is good
The Swiss authorities have raided Fifa again

http://m.bbc.com/sport/football/36445879

The raids are related to Blatter and Valcke

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


Infantino probably getting 90 day suspension

Deadspin posted:

The newest potential bombshell report came from another German paper, this time Die Welt. The reports says Infantino is on the cusp of a preliminary 90-day suspension from the Audit Committee, stemming from emails they’ve received that allegedly say that at Infantino’s instruction, FIFA destroyed the records from the Council meetings held during last month’s Mexico City Congress.

In addition to the destruction of those Mexico City Congress records, Die Welt’s report says the Compliance Committee has discovered other instances where Infantino may have been breaking FIFA regulations. The report cites possibly misused funds spent on travel expenses, the rushed appointment of Fatma Samoura as secretary general before she’d been cleared by the Audit and Compliance Committee, and some lower-level clothing “gifts” that might or might not have been permissible. An insider Die Welt spoke to says, “there is so much suspicion surrounding the president, you can’t see the forest from the trees anymore.”

The Ethics Committee has released a statement claiming that while they cannot say whether or not Infantino is under any preliminary investigation for any wrongdoing, they can positively say Infantino is not subject to any formal investigation at this time.

FIFA has also refuted Die Welt’s characterization of the leaked emails, claiming that only a copy of the Council meeting records were deleted, not the original version.

If the report is accurate, we could very well hear about Infantino getting suspended in the coming days pending a formal investigation. Even if that part doesn’t pan out exactly as described, there certainly does seem to be a whole bunch of shady business going on at the new-look FIFA. It’s a wonder that anyone thought it would be any different.

Also holy lol

quote:

Former high-ranking Fifa officials Sepp Blatter, Jerome Valcke and Markus Kattner awarded themselves pay rises and bonuses worth $80m (£55m) over five years, say Fifa lawyers.

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer
the person who had footballers tortured is going to end up in charge of fifa lol

Blue Star Error
Jun 11, 2001

For this recipie you will need:
Football match (Halftime of), Celebrity Owner (Motivational speaking of), Sherry (Bottle of)

Jose posted:

the person who had footballers tortured is going to end up in charge of fifa lol

For about a week before this happens to him too. Infantino was somehow the cleanest person running for President and surprise surprise turns out he's a mucky little fucker.

B.B. Rodriguez
Aug 8, 2005

Bender: "I was God once." God: "Yes, I saw. You were doing well until everyone died."

There are rumors even famously non-corrupt Sunil Gulati is getting busted for some sort of backroom deal with Infantino to oust the Audit guy who resigned a month ago.

jyrka
Jan 21, 2005


Potato Count: 2 small potatoes
FIFA doesn't need to exist.

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

jyrka posted:

FIFA doesn't need to exist.
FIFA is perfectly fine in it's original version, when it was strictly limited to football administration and governance. It became an indefensible behemoth when Joao Havelange took it over, made it into a commercial organization, started competing with club football, and introduced Brazilian-style politics and corruption into the organization.

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Shinjobi
Jul 10, 2008


Gravy Boat 2k
It all goes back to Brazil.

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