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Mendrian posted:Yeah no this has literally never worked in the history of ever. Over on the LP subforum one of Chip & Ironicus' threads, I think Watch_Dogs near the tail end of the LP, kind of turned to general discussions of playstyles and whether or not it was possible to play a game "wrong." Several people, myself included, put forth the opinion that since the purpose of a game is having fun, as long as you're having fun, there is no "wrong way" to play a game, with one caveat: if your idea of fun is to actively make the game less fun for other players, you are, technically, still not playing the game wrong, but you're coming pretty close, and also I hate you. Then Tremere Dan's kid brother turns up to tell us that actually, he goes out of his way to ruin games for his friends all the time, and they love him for it, they love the challenge of finding games that curtail his ability to gently caress things up for them as much as he loves the challenge of loving them up anyway. The thread's overwhelming response was "wow you're such an rear end in a top hat," with varying sides of "I'm surprised your friends still keep you around," "Are they still inviting you or are you just showing up," and similar. King Charisma has a good laugh at us empathetic plebes, who were clearly browbeaten by our selfish, selfish friends and have thus deluded ourselves into thinking that "fun" is something that can happen cooperatively, when everyone knows it's a zero sum game. He just could not wrap his head around the idea that the rest of us wouldn't be exactly like him, given half a chance. I'm not really sure what creates this kind of mindset. I mean I suppose on the infinite spectrum of human diversity, statistically it has to pop up somewhere, but outside of, you know, situations like this guy's friends who are valiantly trying to find ways to continue including him when they would be more than within their rights to tell him to take a long walk off a short pier, I'm not really sure how it survives. Maybe I'm just too invested in people actually being sad when I die.
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May 16, 2016 00:54
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Some people live their lives like they're in minute 4 of a Boy Meets World episode. Obvious flaw they don't do anything to change. Sometimes Betrayal is fun, like in a game of Crush the Rebellion I played this weekend. CtR is about a group of Imperial Officers in space who serve the Emperor, going on missions and, when triggered by move text, betraying others. Now, betrayal has a few caveats: -The other person needs to do something (fail a roll w/ a specific stat, destroy something beautiful, be disappointed by an underling), then you roll a flat 2d6; on a 7-9, you screw each other (both taking damage but you advance your evil master plan), on a 10+ you really put a beating down. Meanwhile, the mission leader tries to get you to do things you'll mess up. If EVERYONE fucks up, though, mission leader faces the Emperor and is at best humiliated and at worst decapitated. So, we had these but many other betrayals: -Imperator Xavier trying to build a team of super soldiers, the Savage Six! Unfortunately he failed the roll, and they turned on him. He also failed the roll to fight them off. Dr. Dr. Erasmus Baldur, psychologist/cult leader, locked the secret EXTERNAL lab doors. Baldur then framed his foe (another cult leader) for the Savage Six, claiming the troops didn't have the correct psychic training. -General Marr, whose work Baldur heavily plagiarized, beat the poo poo out of him in the greenroom of a Holonet Chat Show. -Baldur, absorbing the psionic energies of a band of attacking biodevils...then being shot in the gut by General Marr. He betrayed Marr BACK, transfering the energies into Marr's head, then kicking him. Marr tumbled over a control panel and cracked his head. Baldur got shot again for his trouble. Now, this would've been bad for Marr (he was at 2 wounds; 3 means you go to the Emperor's Reconstruction Team.) But then he got betrayed by Xavier, Emperor's Eyes. Xavier waited until Marr had entered the medbay, then oversedated him, putting him in a medical coma. The mission succeeded, incidentally.
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May 16, 2016 01:35
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DicktheCat posted:I hate this thread and the people in it with good games. I can't even get my friends together online t play, the chumps. loving this. Oh so this. I cannot this hard enough.
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May 16, 2016 03:24
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Agrikk posted:loving this. Oh so this. Would be down for some GoonGame action.
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May 16, 2016 06:10
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I feel like I should plug the gaming group I'm a member of, The Gauntlet, because our Hangouts side runs a crap-ton of games online. The local group is pretty good though. We played a run of The Final Girl with the background being a Disney knock-off cruise ship & an aged child star turned murderer. Insanity ensued, people got killed left and right, terrible jokes were cracked at the manner of death, and our "Final Girl" turned out to be the grizzled old sea captain. It was pretty great, as everyone who took him did either a bad pirate accent, squinted with one eye, or both! Since I had the most character deaths, I decided to take the captain's players comments of "of course I remember you, I watched all your shows!" literally, and ended the session with the killer and captain watching the sun set over the burning Magic Kingdom, as he married himself to her. He was the ship's captain after all!
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May 16, 2016 22:02
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Samizdata posted:Would be down for some GoonGame action. I am tentatively okay with that, as I am moving next month and may not have time to jump into a game instantly.
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May 16, 2016 22:07
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The Gauntlet is a great exercise in Texas Centrism, which I didn't know was a thing. But it involves weekend games that start 6am PST. Edit: Some of the games I've posted here have been Gauntlet games, but there's something unthinkably annoying about how to reregister week after week for the same game. Especially when the new updates are at 6am so it's wake early to do it or get waitlisted in session 3 of something. Golden Bee fucked around with this message at 03:18 on May 17, 2016 |
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May 17, 2016 03:09
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So after the Geopolitical Conclave of Destiny, this week’s session of our Tanicus Campaign was a breather episode. One player was missing, our Eldritch Knight, which was fine because this was an entire RP session with barely any combat. A few sessions ago, our party helped a monk of Bile (the Lawful Evil god of wolves and winter) break the siege of his monastery by a pack of bullywugs. In return, he invited our group (well, he invited our Monk of Emanyn, Neutral goddess of the sea, we just happened to come along for the ride) to attend the festival of Wintermist in the nearby logging town of Vale once we had finished with the conclave. This led to a lot of good natured teasing of Ksena (the Monk) because of the attraction between her and Csarin, the monk of Bile (Cullus – “Can you really blame her? I’ve never seen a man whose abs could form their own icicles!”). Now, if you thought Wintermist would be this happy, festive gathering…well, you don’t know Bile. quote:The Sacraments of Wintermist Our Paladin didn’t take part in any of the contests, but had a “special attraction” round of jousting and riding with his unicorn mount. Our Rogue decided to take advantage of the local “2 for the price of 1” special at the local house of ill repute. Our Cleric (a Greensidh, think a halfling mixed with a forest elf) decided to eat and drink as much fruit as possible. And by drink I mean imbibed a whole lot “berry juice,” aka sweetwine. And by drink I mean “drank and drank and drank and drank and drank” until she rolled a 1 on her Con save and ended up puking rainbows (the player usually plays Aenea plays her as happy and chipper, so she relished the chance to play intoxicated), but one Lesser Restoration later she’s back up and running around. The highlight was Aenea entering a watermelon seed spitting contest and winning by rolling two natural 20’s in a row, beating the local kid who usually wins every contest and sending him into a very strong huff (Fallinrae – “This is how supervillains get their origin story.”) Ksena and Csarin spent the whole time walking around, and the normally confidant monk of Bile was all nervous and shy because he had grown up in a monastery full of men and had no idea how to talk to women, while Ksena grew up the only female in a monastery full of men and knew how to talk to men. While in the local tavern, my Sorcerer was approached by a fellow Sidhborne (half-elf), a female named Sila, who was also a Sorcerer. She told him that there was a nearby tent that was showing all kinds of magical exhibitions and tricks and invited my Sorcerer to go see them with her. I accepted, and followed her to a very small tent. Thinking it was bigger on the inside, I went in… quote:Varis – “Wait. There aren’t any magical exhibitions or tricks in here!” Yep. She was coming on to my character. Very, very strongly. I’ve always played my Sorcerer as very naïve of the larger world (he grew up on the outskirts of a large town and never really interacted with anyone due to his draconic blood) and all things social, which makes it funny because of his 18 Charisma and that people are always very friendly and forward to him. When it comes to magic, combat and conflict, he’s incredibly self-confident. With the opposite sex, having a very attractive woman all but telling him she wants his virginity made him incredibly flustered and awkward. Now, I tried to gracefully leave the tent, but she was very persistent. Everyone around the table is trying so hard not to bust out laughing. It was Ksena’s player who finally lost it. ”I can’t believe this – my husband has been flirting with his ex-wife’s husband for the past five minutes!”) I manage to get away after letting her down easy (telling her about my mother who is being held in captivity is definitely a panty-raiser) and go wander around town. She ends up going back to the tavern and hands a bag of gold to our Rogue. ”He’s sweet, but he turned me down.”. Yep, the Rogue’s player texted our GM that he had hired a prostitute to sleep with me. I couldn’t help but shake his hand while laughing my rear end off. Now, this whole time our Bard was still in the tavern. And what is he doing? Getting drunk, and as a dragonborn no one has mugs he can use that would allow him to properly drink without getting most of it all over his snout and chest. So he ends up drinking cider out of a large bucket with a spigot. And as he’s getting drunk, he’s telling everyone tales about “Varis the Lightning Lord” and how I’m this great and powerful Sorcerer who took the lightning breath of a blue dragon (actually a behir) without flinching (actually took it in exchange for letting our party pass through its lair, and it knocked me down to 2 hit points WITH lightning resistance). So by the time I get back to the tavern, Skeever has composed a drinking song about me and it already has three verses. By the time my incredibly embarrassed Sorcerer is deluged in drinks and backslapping, Skeever has snuck out the door to go buy our Rogue a gift. It turns out Vale doesn’t have a Thieves’ Guild, but they do have a shady merchant who sells Rogue tools and handles contraband. Cullus is the newest member of our party (the player’s last character died when he was eaten by a flail snail) and Varis trusts him (he trusts everybody) and Skeever trusts him (his god, Halaal, told him to) but no one else in the party does because he’s a Rogue and he’s all about the gold. So Skeever decides to show him some love and get him not only a new set of lockpicks, but a little pouch to carry them in. Did I mention the merchant was actually a taxidermist? So Skeever comes back to give Cullus his gift. And it’s not a nice pouch or a piece of leather one can unroll. It’s a budgie. Yes, because Skeever rolled low and the merchant rolled a natural 20, instead of selling a lockpick set, the taxidermist sold Skeever a stuffed budgie with hidden compartments that hold all the tools. Skeever’s played just rolled with it, so now our Rogue has two sets of thieves tools, his standard one kept on his belt and a brand spanking new set safely hidden inside the breast of a budgie. And apparently Skeever is going to learn the Minor Illusion cantrip to make it talk, only because the GM wouldn’t him pick up a level in Wizard (Necromancer) to animate it… Once the festivities died down (which included the drinking song about Varis getting up to SIX verses because that’s how many times the crowd could rhyme “Lord” with anything and the PALADIN lecturing the Sorcerer about the need to get laid), we all lay down to sleep and in turn got met by the gods. Aenea, our happy-go-lucky Cleric of Siyri, Neutral Good goddess of healing and mercy, was visited by the Hunting Heart, stag-headed demigod of Bile, and told that she needed to toughen up and realize the world was a cruel place, and that there would be a time where if she wasn’t callous she would fail her friends. Fallinrae, Paladin of Arwin, the Lawful Good goddess of warfare, was visited by Arwin herself and told that there would come a time where she would have to sacrifice her life for the entire world, but she needed to stop trying to be a self-sacrificing, death seeking martyr or else risk dying before that crucial moment. “The gods WILL fall, and you must be there to catch them.” Skeever was visited by Halaal, Chaotic Neutral copper dragon god of trickery and humor, and told that our party needed to find Pennywhistle the Bard, a legendary performer who was rumored to be immortal (at least the stories stretching back centuries would suggest), and to begin by visiting the Sullen Owlbear tavern in the city of Highspire. Skeever complained that Halaal was being too direct and demanded a proper and obscure prophecy, to which Halaal replied “Seek the metropolis of tall towers and discover the annoyed nocturnal ursine.” Cullus was visited by Cymber, Chaotic Neutral queen of mystery and secrets, and told that he has to deliver a piece of information to a gnome in Highspire. When pressed for more information, Cymber just rolled her eyes. “What kind of goddess of secrets and mystery would I be if I told you THAT?” And Varis was visited by Riva, Chatoic Neutral God of fortune and destiny. Appearing as a loom worker, he handed me a piece of dark cloth fabric with a golden thread running through the middle. “You must carry this inside your soul. It is a moment that will change the destiny of the gods, but they must not know I’m weaving a new strand. When the time comes, you will be the one at the loom. Tell no one, because as soon as you say the words, the moment is known.” “Why me?” “Because for one with such great potential, you are the most humble. Did you not see the new temple outside?” Just outside the cottage was my hometown, where everyone I knew was tearing down the great burning eye symbol of Az and replacing it with a circular symbol comprised of lightning bolts. The rest of the session was talking about our dreams (or not talking) and bringing down a black bear in one round with nothing but daggers and Skeever’s teeth to close out the festival. Our plan now is to head up the coast and find the underground prison where my character’s mother is being held captive before going to Highspire to find Pennywhistle. From there, it’s off to fight one of our Eldritch Knight’s cousins who serves as one of the right-hands to her Big Bad of a mother, along with his red dragon mount...
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May 17, 2016 16:56
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Golden Bee posted:Feng Shui: "PHD is for PUNISHING HORRIBLE DADS!" So, with the Masked Avenger retired from the party and a Ghost joining, my Scrappy Kid character is much less afraid of death. Naturally inured to weirdness, she was a great foil to the new character... Ken Eagles, her Ex Special Forces Brother! Turns out he was captured trying to investigate the Rising Lotus cult. And he, like most PCs, was amazing. He was captured along with the spy we rescued at the end of last week. So, after rescuing him, we asked him what he knew about our mission. --He rolled "Knowledge: Counter Terrorism" and got a 30. That number represents 20% more success than leaping the Grand Canyon on foot. Other great Ken Eagles facts: --He spoke in Very Punctuated, Well Spoken, clearly dubbed English. Sometimes he would not really answer what people asked him, instead drifting into monologues about War. --He made a move that let him automatically strike anyone who missed him with martial arts. This led to a situation where he was attacked by five snakemen and -killed all of them-, with a bowie knife, on their turn. --When he lost his knife, he opened up with his M16, mowing down another 6 snakemen. (The rest were killed when Christina Eagles knocked a flaming barn on their heads.) Golden Bee fucked around with this message at 18:32 on Jun 19, 2016 |
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May 18, 2016 05:24
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With the past three-or-four sessions of our Tanicus campaign being very heavy on the role-playing, our GM decided this time out was going to be almost all combat…and a brain teaser. Our group had left Vale after the conclusion of Wintermist on the way to the prison where my PC’s (formerly thought to be deceased) mother was (according to my father’s brother) being held. The prison is a large rock in the middle of a lake that’s bordered to the north by Corvis, a Lawful Evil empire where only pureblood races are allowed. Race mixing isn’t allowed in any circumstance (mating or marriage) under pain of death. The rock was scooped out by magic users and the prison walls was placed flush against the rocks. There’s only one dock, and everybody on the rock is a prisoner – even the guards, who are just prisoners who accept responsibility for extra privileges. And the whole thing surrounds one of the major shrines to Citara, the Lady of Pain, Lawful Evil goddess of pain, torture, interrogation, and vengeance. On the way to the nearest port town, which is on the south side of the lake in a Lawful Good kingdom, our party is going up and down some hills when the Rogue and my Sorcerer (who were sitting on the back of the wagon dueling with kites) notice something hidden in the hills behind us – a moss-covered door that could only be seen during a certain time of day from a certain angle at a certain altitude. Our party stops, thinking it might be a barrow or hideout, however as my Sorcerer uses Mage Hand to clear off the moss, the hand glows brightly while scraping off the moss near the top and disappears as its magic activates a rune that was covered by the moss. It’s a symbol with thirteen stars – one in the middle, four around it, and eight more around them. The one in the middle represents magic, the four stars represent the elements, and the eight stars are the eight schools of wizardry. Turns out, it’s the rune of Faylinn, the Stern Teacher, Lawful Neutral goddess of magic. And it’s not a door into the hill. It’s a Dimension Door, one of those ones you can walk all the way around as it hangs in mid-air. As the rune glows, a voice speaks… quote:Greetings, apprentice. You have deciphered the clues and riddles to discovered this place. Inside is one of my most powerful gifts. To obtain it, you must pass a Test of Strength, a Test of Mind, and a Test of Character. Beware. Many people have passed the first two tests, only to spend a lifetime failing the third.  While everyone else is egging my character on, I’m nervous as all get out. The first room has a much larger relief of Faylinn’s rune on the ground, and the four stars representing the elements are pulsing. A door lies on the opposite wall guarding by a large Iron Golem. After a few minutes of debating (three minutes on whether or not the “you” in the voice meant “you the Sorcerer” or “you the plural”), my PC casts an elemental spell at each elemental rune – Acid Splash for Earth, Fire Bolt for Fire, Cone of Cold for Water, Shocking Grasp for Air, and a Mage Hand as “plain old magic” once the center rune lights up. At each spell, the rune flares and gathers the element into a ball floating above it. Once all five runes are activated, the golem steps aside and we walk into the next room. It’s another round room with a rug in the middle (once again with Faylinn’s rune on it) and a small alcove on the other side. The alcove is surrounded with a relief of compass points with the appropriate direction – N, NE, E, SE, S, SW, W, NW, and there’s a small case sitting inside. Once we enter the room a series of bloody blades begin to shoot out of the alcove’s walls, moving at a completely random pattern and at varying lengths. I try to Mage Hand the box, but the magic fizzles. Telleysin, our Eldritch Knight, uses Detect Magic to figure out that the rug is magical (and pokes it to show it’s not a Mimic). My PC steps on it and is instantly bathed in magical sunlight quote:To claim the Artifact, deliver the light in His name. Praise the Sun! (note – The GM has never heard of Dark Souls) “His name” is easy. Seane, the Golden Orb, Chaotic Good god of the Sun. Using a mirror, we try to spell out Seane’s name…but the problem is, there’s a SE and an NE, but we can’t find the “A.” After trying to shine it on one of the V-shaped blades when it’s upside down and trying to light the compass letters up in the order that the sun moves through the sky, we realize that “Artifact” starts with an “A.” After a little more trial and error we realizes that we have to activate each rune, wait for it to fade, then activate the next rune. So, SE, fade, the chest containing the Artifact, fade, NE, fade. And the blades stop to allow the chest to float out to my PC. It’s a glass-topped case, about the size of a book, and inside is a scroll. quote:Claim me by Strength, I will fade. Claim me by mind, I will disappear. Claim me by character and I am yours. The Paladin and the Barbarian/Bard knew what it was right away. It took me a minute before I closed my eyes sent a prayer to Faylinn being humble and polite, stating that if I was meant to have the scroll then I would receive it with her blessing, and if I wasn’t I would return it for someone more worthy to claim it. “Thank you for your…” Click. All that was needed was a “thank you” or a “please.” Inside was a scroll of Time Stop, one-time use. Which is cool, although I admit as a player I have NO idea how to use it in 5th edition since I only really used it while playing Baldur’s Gate2 …so suggestions welcome! X X X X X A few days later, my PC starts to recognize some of the geographical landmarks. “Guys? Where are we going?” ”We’re going to stop in Dale to resupply!” Dale is my PC’s hometown. He saved the town from a Banshee right before I joined the campaign, and as such the town loved and adored my Sorcerer as “The Hero of Dale” (He has the Folk Hero background). Varis has always been incredibly humble and a little bit embarrassed at his “fame” which the other PC’s play up every single chance they get. So once we roll into town, I quietly ask them not to embellish any… Cullus (Rogue) – “HEY EVERYBODY! VARIS IS BACK!” Soon the whole town has dragged me (and the party) into the local tavern, and there’s back slapping and local girls oohing and aahing over him and Fallinrae (Paladin) and Skeever (Barbarian/Bard) talking up my character’s exploits while Varis is as red as a Mycanoid. I’m told my PC has gotten thin and looks cold and soon there are pies and cloaks aplenty being thrown at him (which led to a fun diversion about whether or not a Bag of Holding could lock a pie’s freshness inside. We determined it couldn’t). When the Mayor shows up, Varis hands him 400 gold (“it’s only money, what am I going to do with it,” he said as the Rogue debated rolling Sleight of Hand) before being told that Frost Giants have been throwing “sky rocks” at the town in an attempt to soften up the town before coming down from the mountains to raid and plunder. Varis - ”Guys? I don’t want to take you for granted, but could we spend the night and help stop the Frost Giants?” Fallinraie – ”I don’t know, we’re busy trying to save the world OF COURSE WE’RE GOING TO HELP SAVE YOUR HOMETOWN!”  Standard Frost Giant fight, save for one twist – one of the Frost Giants having a Bowl of Water Elemental Summoning.  Needless to say, it went to our (Water) Elemental Monk. Oh, and there was a huge drinking horn of ivory and gold worth 7500 gold pieces. Getting that thing into the Bag of Holding reminded me of the couch in the staircase from Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency. X X X X X After one more night of carousing, tale telling, and renaming the tavern “The Three Frost Giants” as the local taxidermist prepares to mount the skulls of the Frost Giants on their axes and make an archway out of them, it’s back on the road. We’re travelling north and pass through a rocky area as the sun begins to go down. Our Cleric Aeana decides to go play in the rocks and insists that’s where we make camp for the night. Second watch, Skeever, myself, and my familiar, who comes flying back and flashes images of bones and exploding dirt into my head just before…   Wraiths are bad enough. Now add BARBARIAN WRAITHS with the ability to Berserk, and the fact that none of our warrior-types were wearing their armor because they were sleeping. Luckily for us, Fallinrae had a scroll of Aura of Life to resist necrotic damage and ensure we didn’t lose anything off our maximum hit points. Still, it was a drat near run thing. On the plus side, the Barbarian Wraith dropped a wicked axe – d12 damage, if use during a Berserker Rage it add d10 damage, +2 to hit and damage and adds resistance to slashing damage. Skeever’s response? “But…I like my warhammer…” The classic “a sweet new weapon vs. the weapon a PC has used for five levels” dilemma.
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May 24, 2016 02:46
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So that magic item knot thing you got... that wouldn't happen to have secretly been woven out of the thread that the god of secrets and deceit swapped out, would it?
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May 24, 2016 09:34
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Tunicate posted:So that magic item knot thing you got... that wouldn't happen to have secretly been woven out of the thread that the god of secrets and deceit swapped out, would it? ...oh, drat it. I don't know (none of the other PC's know the Rogue pulled that job) but that would be a hell of a twist.
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May 24, 2016 09:59
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CobiWann posted:Skeever’s response?
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May 24, 2016 11:01
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Splicer posted:Swing by a friendly wizard and do a sidequest for him while he imbues the warhammer with the axe's sweet berserker powers (100gp in 4e, don't know if there's a 5e equivalent but your GM sounds like not a dick so...) Well, Skeever's already trying to name the axe and is trying to figure out a way to equally spread the bloodshed out between them. The warhammer is pretty sweet - +2/+2 on the first attack roll of combat, wielder can't be surprised as it automatically leaps into their hand the first round of combat, and a couple of other properties I forget off-hand.
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May 24, 2016 11:45
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DicktheCat posted:I am tentatively okay with that, as I am moving next month and may not have time to jump into a game instantly. You're always welcome in my IRC games, Dick
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May 24, 2016 12:34
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Golden Bee posted:MASKS! This time, our team was auditioning a new candidate, 'Fleek' Frank Power aka TELEFRAG. What he lacked in super-abilities he made up for in enthusiasm and bullshit. To wit: he used his phasing to bring beer to the team's meet and greet, using his phasing talent to go through the gated community's gates. Unfortunately, he decided he was going ROLL THE KEG the entire way, and it exploded on him when it arrived. He explained it was fancy foam beer but everyone kept drinking box wine. He also used GoPros to film his superheroics. Star Knight was at an away game, so the rest of the team crashed Rohan's house. The group drank awkwardly with Henna opening up to Naryati (describing the one human who ever got to his home planet, and how that person died of natural causes! In a zoo in fact!). The awkwardness would've continued but luckily, Rohan's mom came back from the dead. Well, not technically dead: she was ripped from the Shadow Dimension in the experiment that gave Rohan's dad (Brahmin Senior) his superpowers. This surprised Nar the most ("I thought your mom died when we were eight!") but the rest didn't know if this was normal or not. Still, the presence of a spectral parental figure meant hiding the liquor. Desperate to get more info from his mother, Rohan opened a portal to the dark realm. Yu-Gi-Oh jokes were made, but the team rolled surprisingly well, especially compared to the warehouse fight* that left the team splintered and afraid. The group traveled an uncertain distance before arriving on a rocky plateau with a green glowing sky. Yup, DIMENSION X. Below, a squadron of armored goons (looking like Star Knight) battled Rohan's Mom's force of bug creatures. Unable to choose a side quickly, the gang tried to end the fight. When Naryati hacked the goon's tactical data, all the instructions were in English. Telefrag came up to them, asking if they'd heard of his Youtube Channel. They had...in fact, they were fans from Earth! It turns out one side was the O'Marr-Kim exploratory force. As in, the evil loving corporation that was reviving, implanting and retrieving supervillains. Rohan, with the team's help, summoned a giant bolt of energy from the Dark Dimension, blasting the center of the battlefield. Both factions retreated, and as he talked to his mom, Naryati (as RE:VOLT) chatted up the head of the Expedition Task Force. Turns out they were on a mission to steal energy from the Dark Dimension. This would upset the formless abberations that lived there, but hey, at least it wasn't coal. And there was no law governing the exploitation of other worlds... The group's leader was nine feet tall in his battle armor, so RE:VOLT took another tack. She got Telefrag to discreetly record the man's presence and explanation, hoping to leak it to Action 5 News. *See Issue #2, True Believers!
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May 24, 2016 17:20
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So our group is Real Bad. We've started 5e Curse of Strahd and after like 4 sessions we're still stuck in the pre-Strahd module area where it's basically just a dungeon crawl to get you to level 3(and is supposed to last like 2 sessions really). Last session I tried something new for our recap since no one was really interested in the verbatim just reading off checklists of what we did last time I gave up trying to format it half way through, I am sorry. Don't read further or you'll be subjected to bad fan fiction writing. A little back story: we're trolling through a spooky mansion and a couple of the guys got possessed by children spirits (1 against his will, the other willfully) meanwhile the group is trying to find a monster in the basement to get the loots and exp. there was some tidying up exposition in the beginning because we had 2 no shows due to sickness and 1 ringer who graciously decided to step in and play so i wanted to find a way to at least try to weave them in/out of the story. also before this session we almost died to a suit of armor and an enchanted broom. we only defeated the broom by locking it in the closet and firing fireballs into it and then quickly slamming the door before it could beat our rear end some more http://pastebin.com/PFwj2EDY I was kind of weary of doing it in the style since I had to make creative guesses/creative liberties as to what the characters were thinking/doing but it turned out ok I guess since no one minded.
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May 24, 2016 21:02
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I GM all the time, but I rarely get the chance to play as a player, so I was really excited about today's game, because not only did I get to sit on the other side of the table, but it was also my first game of Vampire: The Masquerade. The GM made great use of background mood music, whether it was classical as the Prince called us to a meeting to declare a Blood Hunt for an underage sire, or Gothic while we investigated the teen victim, or party music while the investigation lead us to a rave party. It turns out the Prince wanted the sire-ling for himself to Diablerize her. I felt uncomfortable enough about that that I decided to try and take him on, and thank God my fellow vampires got the message and helped me, because I completely missed that firing a gun would be Dexterity + Firearms and only put 1 dot into the former. Our big bruiser, Ven Dazzle, tried to fill the Prince with buckshot as the Prince was trying to kill me with his bear hands, while Elizabeth, our third, lead the victim to safety. Or what we thought was safety. When I read through Chronicles of Darkness, one of the main points underlined in the book was to give players a sense of a completely "normal" story, but then have it take a sharp swerve over to the supernatural, to shock the players/characters as the world takes an awful turn for the unexpected. And this happened even in a game where I was already playing a vampire - as the victim fled the Prince's car and ran into the woods, she was attacked by a Werewolf. The girl didn't make it, and Elizabeth herself only just barely got away, but with the 'wolf in hot pursuit, we had to put our quarrel with the Prince on hold while we made a break for it. In the back of my mind I already knew Werewolves were part of this game's universe/mythos, but I had completely forgotten about it and it surprised me quite a bit in the event. It was just a one-shot, but I felt like I got a really good sense of what attracted people to the Storyteller system back in the 90s.
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May 25, 2016 17:09
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What power did the Prince use to get bear hands?
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May 25, 2016 21:08
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VanSandman posted:What power did the Prince use to get bear hands? Protean, Beast Form, obviously. 
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May 25, 2016 21:58
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VanSandman posted:What power did the Prince use to get bear hands? Legalism. The right to bear arms and all that...
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May 25, 2016 22:47
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Razzled posted:also before this session we almost died to a suit of armor and an enchanted broom. we only defeated the broom by locking it in the closet and firing fireballs into it and then quickly slamming the door before it could beat our rear end some more Having never played Curse of Strahd this is hilarious to me. Please tell me brooms are a legitimate threat to adventurers and you all didn't just roll terribly 
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May 25, 2016 23:49
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It's a magic broom.
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May 26, 2016 00:10
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Anticheese posted:Legalism. The right to bear arms and all that... 
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May 26, 2016 00:23
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Been playing a campaign where everyone's warlock diety is a person in real life who talks to the d&d characters but just thinks it's a dream. Like, macklemore continually wakes up in a cold sweat having gifted the power of the old tongue and whispering the first syllables of the words that began the world to his dark children and goes "gently caress I need to start taking melatonin" and goes back to sleep. The lone paladin speaks to neil degrasse tyson whenever he gets high.
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May 27, 2016 02:43
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I know he would have been overpowered as a 2/2 base, and underpowered as a 2/2 with threshold.. but.. it's kind of sad that the werebear isn't a "bear".
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May 27, 2016 04:33
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How a Player Character (Almost) Became the Final Boss of Our Game For the past few months, my friends and I have been playing a Dungeons and Dragons game that is, basically, Fantasy Pirates of the Caribbean. We're playing in our DM's favorite homebrew world, and the game follows our set of merry, crazy, questionably cannibalistic beastmen pirates as they take to the seas, righting wrongs, collecting booty, and succumbing to the occasional bout of vampirism. During this game, I've been playing our de facto captain - a fat, hedonistic druidic crocodile-man that's equal parts Captain Jack Sparrow, Pete, and Treasure Planet's John Silver, throwing around aliases like they're going out of style but always insisting that people call him “Duro." He's loud, bombastic, greedy to a fault - serving as a wall due to his multiple resistances, as we're lacking a proper trap-finding rogue. These character traits become important later - don't forget them. Now, this game revolves around the fact that we're the lone survivors of a wrecked ship in the middle of nowhere, with no memory as to how we got there. It also involves a Davy Jones-style dread pirate, named Mad Mask, that has been wrecking port cities throughout the region. As DM plot would have it, it turns out we were victims of such an attack, and he's been using a combination of magical items (an insanity-inducing mirror and the titular Mad Mask) to destroy his victims before they have a chance. Plus, since we happened to come across a map that dictates the locations of his various hordes, he is none too happy about our continued existence. Play continues across several sessions, during which we commandeer a boat, set fire to a magician's tower for the local dwarves, then bomb the dwarves on the behalf of said magician when they double-cross us. After several such sessions, however, we find out that Mad Mask has been following us, putting the cities we visit to the torch. We decide to stick around once particular city after finding this - and face him for what we figure is our DM's big chance to make him shine. Well, he does. Turns out Mask has one hell of a ship (imagine the Urca de Lima from Black Sails). We also find out, however, that if we're careful, set sea mines up throughout the city, and flank Mad Mask while he's focused on the town, we can, well, surprise him. And kill him. Weeeeeee weren't expecting this. I mean, we figured we were maaaaybe a third of the way through our DM's plot. Now, while we're looting Mask, taking said mask and the mirror off his freshly tattered corpse, we realize the crew's just sort of looking at us expectantly. We realize they're waiting for one of us to don the mask - because, of course, a la Davy Jones' heart and The One Ring, the plot items themselves are the real threat, not the man wielding them. We threaten to destroy them via a pair of Portable Holes we’ve picked up over the course of the game, thus forcing them to let us leave for the time being - then drag along both his corpse and the items so that we can figure out how to destroy them for good. On "Mad Mask's" body, we find the usual supply of Boss Gold and other loot, including a magical sword that looks like it could be useful. We go through the usual monotonous sprawl of rolling to identify their magical effects, since we already have the mask+mirror combo everyone's worried about, so when we identify the sword (with an Identify roll of 13) as a +5 Acid Sword, I immediately grab it. I'm "da Captain," you see - and I need something "right pointy" to hit stuff with. Everyone's fine with this, I pocket it, we laugh at our all-around badassedry, end of session. ...Well. Not end of session. The DM drags me aside at the end of the game as everyone leaves, and informs me that we REALLY should have rolled higher on that Identify check. If we had, we would have realized there were three items of Mad Mask's - and the sword, Sorrowbringer, completes the trio. After all, the jewel in its hilt holds the astral anchor of a massively powerful dragon - and if its wielder fails too many Wisdom checks, it takes control, transforming the character into said dragon. The sword IS the final boss. And it's fallen into the hands of a gluttonous, greedy-as-gently caress pirate. Now, the DM is a drat nice dude, and while he’s really thirsting to kill off at least one of our characters, he gives me the chance to opt out of this and save my character. But that’d be mean - we’d been having a lot of fun, a considerable amount of it as his expense as we screw with his plans, and not showing some quid pro quo would be a lousy way of showing sportsmanship for the fun-as-hell games he’s been hosting. Besides, I have to go with this. It's too fun to pass up - and if my character dies in the process, he dies as the final boss. I can't not go for this. So for the next several weeks, I ham the gently caress out of my part. I covet every scrap of gold we get, going as far as to hug, pet, and sometimes even lick it. I use sleight-of-hand tactics to take at least a third of it. And as I do more and more greedy things, I take (and fail) more and more Wisdom throws, continuing a cycle of me getting more and more possessed. The group get into in-character arguments over it. One of the other players extorts my character over it. The team even threatens mutiny. We've been playing together for a while, so everyone knows I'm not just doing this "because that's what my character would do" (the filthiest of rear end in a top hat excuses, by the way), but nobody quite puts it together. Until we're knee-deep in a dungeon. Through the characters, murals, and oracles we find in an Aztec-style vampire dungeon, Team Pirate learns the origins of Sorrowbringer the Dragon - a massively powerful monster that the not!Aztec vampire lords sealed away when they realized it was too powerful to use in their sacrifices. In this dungeon, they find out two important things: that (a) the dragon thirsts for the destruction of the vampires and their gods, and (b) since it was sealed away, it manifests itself as a jewel that manipulates the will of anyone who possesses it. Our resident orc mystic realizes I'm carrying a sword with such a jewel on it. He demands I show it to them. Naturally I demur, not only because it's in character but because outing the sword requires an instant WIS roll. At this point, I'm one failed roll away from total possession, so when I'm finally forced to show the sword I try to use Sleight of Hand to hide the jewel. I fail. Which means I have to roll WIS. I pass - but then our other croc-man, a Paladin who knows the jig is up, attacks me. I retaliate, because I am the Captain, after all...but I crit on my attack, nearly pasting him in one move. This naturally triggers a PVP fight, and because my character is a fat, greedy sonuvabitch, he naturally has a low itiative roll. Our cannibalistic sharkman barbarian (again, this is a beastman campaign) is first - and he makes a called shot to rip Captain Duro's arm off. Once again, this requires a WIS roll. And this time, I fail. The transformation is quick, but incomplete. My character grows horns, sheds the "Captain Duro" persona, and gets full heal, but otherwise keeps his stats. Our DM quietly informs me that my priorities are to (a) escape and (b) ham the gently caress out of this while I wait for the chance to do so. Thankfully, I get the chance to do so. Like I said earlier, our party has a habit of cheesing our DM with creative spells and attacks (hence the barbarian attack earlier, an attempt to make me drop the sword). As such, they think they can do the same with me. Unfortunately, they forget that my character is a wall - because we have no trap-detecting rogue, "Captain Duro's" been specced with a high AC and several resistances. Thus, when the party tries to Entangle me, then Command me to to Drop the sword, I get to laugh off the attacks in true Megalomaniacal Dragon fashion. Thus, on my turn, throughly convinced that Captain Duro has become the final boss of the game, I beast-form into a Giant Vulture and prepare to drop the end-of-session one-liner: "SORROWBRINGER'S REIGN BEGINS TODAY." ...Eeeeeeeexcept that never happens. Funny thing about trying to leave combat while engaged in DND5: Attacks of opportunity still exist. Which means, since I never tried to disengage, that everyone gets one last shot at hitting me before I leave. Sharkman's first. Because he's a Goddamn Barbarian, he guts me hard - but he never called his shot to my arm, so it's just a hard hit. I can still escape. Our gun-toting Duelist goes next. He tries to shoot me, but high AC keep either of his shots from sticking. I laugh it off. The orc mystic tries and fails to land a shot. Which means I only have one opponent left: the crocodile man who I critted before transforming. ...He rolls a nat 20. He crits. Thankfully, I have resistance to his blade, which means I survive - and get to escape. The DM takes over, getting into Vengeful Dragon Speech, then begins narrating how I disappear through the portal. The crocman interrupts. He has a second attack. Which he crits. Again. Just as I'm about to disappear into a fiery, screaming portal, Crocman Eardic the Paladin swings in and slices my vulture's wing off. The wing (and sword) disappear, and Captain Duro falls from the sky. He reverts into his croc-man form, crashing in a bloated, one-armed heap in the middle of the room. At which point, because we never left the dungeon or beat the boss, the Vampire Lord coughs politely and makes her presence known. End session. And that is the tale of How Captain Duro Lost His Chance to Be the Endgame Boss.
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May 29, 2016 18:53
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Rampant Dwickery posted:Through the characters, murals, and oracles we find in an Aztec-style vampire dungeon, Team Pirate learns the origins of Sorrowbringer the Dragon - a massively powerful monster that the not!Aztec vampire lords sealed away when they realized it was too powerful to use in their sacrifices. In this dungeon, they find out two important things: that (a) the dragon thirsts for the destruction of the vampires and their gods, and (b) since it was sealed away, it manifests itself as a jewel that manipulates the will of anyone who possesses it. Cool story and all, but a friendly warning: DO NOT LET THE AZTEC GODS OF FITNESS GET THE STONE OR YOU ARE ALL EXTRA-CRISPY hosed.
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May 29, 2016 19:20
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Rampant Dwickery posted:How a Player Character (Almost) Became the Final Boss of Our Game Just so you know for next time, 5th edition rules for opportunity attacks specifically mention you can use your reaction (which you get to once per round) to make a single attack. So while it's probably too messy and too late to retcon what happened your character sounds like they should have successfully escaped that round.
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May 29, 2016 23:06
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...Huh! Wish I'd known this. Ah well. The next few sessions are bound to be off the wall as it is. 
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May 29, 2016 23:17
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Yeah it doesn't sound like your game is going to be any less entertaining for the rules mix up! I will post up the shenanigans of my own 5e game in a bit. Things of note have included the fighter accidentally trapping the soul of a dwarfen smith in his sword, annoying both sides of a merchant dispute by forcing them to explain in detail their obstructing tactics and the party druid eating the good half of the soul of the king for a while which became his Stand.
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May 29, 2016 23:59
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Did a WWWRPG one shot called Memorial Dayhem, set in Baton Rouge. The Cultural Champion got DC'd, so the main event was reinvented Indie Darling vs a Luchador. It was a money vs mask match; the Luchador was retiring and the Cultural Champion had put $10,000 into a briefcase above the ring. [Originally, the Indie Darling was booked as Sister Salvation, a gothic villain. But she'd had wrestled (and gotten hugely over) as Cheerleader Grace, getting them so into the match they nearly refused to let her get her opponent back into the ring.] So, in order to get the crowd hyped, she revealed that she had a split personality. And that meant a split outfit; evil nun on top, cheerleader below the navel. After a few more matches, it was time for the main event. Hijo de Carta de Trifuno (Son of winning hand) faced Sister Cheerleader Grace Salvation. The only thing better than that sentence was the ending of their ladder match. All fight, they were arguing for when they could use comedic relief. After some injuries, they both hang from the ladder. SCGS gives a giant suplex to Hijo, sending him to the ground. She grabs the briefcase hanging above the ring and leaps down onto Hijo De Carta. She rips off his mask, but as he goes to protect it, he takes the option to extend the feud, cover his face, or take something of hers. SCGS's player suggested they go for comedy. So, instead of shredding her makeup, the retiring luchador yanked off her cheerleader skirt, exposing her satanic bloomers. Wrestling. Golden Bee fucked around with this message at 08:35 on Aug 22, 2022 |
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May 30, 2016 00:45
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As mentioned, I started a DnD 5e game for some friends. While it is not necessarily my first choice, they all know DnD3.5 well so a d20 game is relatively safe. After we sorted out a bunch of scheduling issues due to one of the players doing shift work we started running through Skype and Roll20. Our party is: Ulfbjorn Valbrandsson, Dwarf fighter and definitely not a wizard. Key traits include a near lethal aversion to pre-planning and rational judgement, being one of two characters capable of coherent and purposeful social interaction and being the only dwarf to be the destined wielder of, an albeit broken, Drow Fateblade; very magic swords forged by one of the three elven deities which have so far been reserved for elves almost exclusively. (I reworked Drow to get rid of the weird slavery, matriarchal bdsm kink and making them evil. They're now just very unfriendly and suspicious guardians of the sacred elven groves in the Underdark, protecting the roots of their trees from the many evil creatures there) Darrak Lorderr, Dwarf warlock serving an inscrutable and many angled eldritch being. Has a great charisma score, but lacks the wisdom and presence of mind to know when things are a bad idea. Believes his patron is an unknown dwarven god of commerce and wealth and looks to gather followers. Is currently the target of a noble attempting to start an inquisition against him. Player calls his character 'Dwarfthulhu'. Jazreth Skullcrusher, Drow paladin of balance. If you have seen the Oglaf comic about the paladin of justice, you know what the basis of his character is. Demands 'balance' in everything, including ensuring natural disasters affect all social groups in equal distribution and finding burrowing moles to balance out the sheep grazing on top of the party's flying island. Beloved by dwarf commoners and hated by most nobles, while being perceptive in the most unlikely of circumstances while ignoring almost every normal social cue and norm. Garreth Blackwood, Changeling druid. Raised in a cult led by a Doppleganger who wants to replace all the world powers with his offspring and drag the world into permanent shadow. His first assignment was to murder and take the place of a druid, who turned out to be expecting him. Now his victim is his spiritual guide as he tries to figure out how to stop his family and how to best serve the balance. Original character concept was a warforged druid, who would be more than meets the eyes. The campaign is meant to take the aspects of acquiring and managing a keep or fortress from games such as Baldurs Gate 2, Dragon Age Inquisition or Fallout 4. So the intro session was a lot of setting stuff up. My big bad was a fallen knight who was performing a profane ritual the party stumbled across. His henchmen kept the party busy while he summoned a powerful demon within his magic circle, and then absorbed the essence of the demon into himself. By the time he began the process again, but this time, summoning an angel, the party had dealt with the mooks. Seeing an angel being murdered and about to be absorbed, the fighter decided to run head first into the plot and slammed himself against the magic barrier and forced his way inside. While this didn't stop the ritual from finishing, he did manage to be given a sliver a power by the angel before it disappeared. The paladin approved of the balance between eating a demon and an angel. The fallen knight then gloated in his victory, crowing about how he had the forbidden powers gained by harnessing both order and chaos before swallowing the party up into the void. (It's pretty corny and JRPG-esque but it established him as a threat) The warlock's patron was excited by this turn of events, while the rest of the party was somewhat less so. Waking up on a strange land, the party walks around before finding they are on an island floating above the clouds, alone save for a flock or two of wild goats. There are some buildings that hint that the island was once occupied, but they are mostly in ruins save for one (very plot important) building. They stumbled into the underbelly of it and found a giant magic crystal engine, which the fighter powered with his remaining imbued angelic energy. Going up to the control room, he managed to steer the island back to the dwarf capital by thinking about home. After a day of travel the island arrived at the dwarf capital and an airship flew up to see why the flying gently caress there was an island in the sky. Finding out they'd been attacked and that the city was partly engulfed in black spheres of void. After the paladin was satisfied that the nobles had been affected equally as badly as the peasants, the party moved over to investigate. Discovering they had convenient plot forcefields to protect themselves they wandered into the sphere. Inside they found a world that was strange and chaotic. The first area was a garden that was in a different place in the city to where they had entered. The world seemed to be unraveling and changing in strange ways. Plants further were growing upside down and inside out, or some had roots of flower petals and flowers of roots. The druid was Braving the gardener's shed they entered the next area, which was of course a forge. The place had flowing pillars of lava through the air and a great vortex of lava underneath, in which dwarves had been caught within it and were slowly metamorphosing into lava creatures. There was a smith inside who had become comical in proportion, with a massive torso and arms atop tiny short legs. His beard had turned into lava that merged with the flow through the room. What followed was an exceedingly unlikely sequence of rolls where the fighter aced all checks, managing to vaguely understand and communicate with the smith and then decided to try and conjure up the essence of magical metal since this place was clearly some kind of weird metaphorical imaginary place. He then succeeded and asked the smith to repair his blade, which the smith agreed to. During this the smith spoke only in a visible form of rebus. However upon giving the smith his sword to repair, the smith began to glow with blue white fire which engulfed his eyes in fiery orbs. Not so much put off by this as impatient, after a few minutes the fighter tried to take back his sword which looked like it was fixed. This caused an explosion of light which knocked back the fighter and caused the smith to disappear entirely. The fateblade looked completely mended save for the fact it was transparent. A little unsure of what to make of this the party continued on. In the next area there was a bank, where a banker was looking over a oozing pile of viscous liquid gold and gems. After the party unsuccessfully tried to placate the banker, he revealed he was beginning to transform into a dragon. After being soundly beaten by the party he flew off before they could kill him, transformation mostly complete. Unsure of whether they had done the right thing or not, but unable to really easily carry of the strange liquid gold and jewels with them the party moved on to the next area. This had a pair of dwarves fused into their armour trying to bully another guard into obeying the king. They had also trapped a glowing orb of light in a weird aura of shadow both were projecting, but the appearance of the party and their refusal to leave when requested prompted combat. The two guards dead, they spoke with the third to find out there was a shadowy version of the king ahead. Its orders had twisted the guards. The spirit of light spoke to them warning them to keep an open mind and king heart for the trial ahead, and after realising it was speaking in the kings voice the party decided that it must be the spirit of the king. Healing the party and restoring their energy it waited with the guard for their return. Advancing forwards they found the shadowy king, who had decided that due to the constant plots on his throne and life he would rule the kingdom with an iron and shadowy fist demanding obedience or death. The party engaged in combat and bantered back and forth with the king who kept telling them about the terrible things that had happened in his life. The paladin (correctly) deducing that this must be the dark side of the king went and dragged the spirit of light back and shoved it into the shadowy king. However instead of causing them to merge together, it caused the shadow to grow stronger and they triggered the true fight with the king who became a giant shadowy figure. While the rest of the party tried to wear down the shadow, the druid went up to the throne which was surrounded in clouds and chains of shadow. The throne tried to play on his fears and insecurities, but the druid forced his way through and seized the light part of the king's spirit. Except, being in bear form, this involved eating it. Suddenly the druid's eyes shone with golden light, he could remember the good part of the king's life and speak in his voice. He also had a glowing apparition of the king standing behind him. Fighting down the king's insecurities he finally forced the king to accept both halves of himself and fixed the break in reality, causing the missing parts of the city to return to reality. Unfortunately, places where the party had tampered did not quite return the way they had been before. And the fighter's fateblade now spoke to him, with the smith having been trapped inside. However, due to the influence of the drow goddess, he could now only speak in elven which meant the fighter needed the party to translate for him. Next up the party rescues the pope from a crisis of faith, invent a new species and go to a party.
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May 30, 2016 06:03
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bbcisdabomb posted:Having never played Curse of Strahd this is hilarious to me. Please tell me brooms are a legitimate threat to adventurers and you all didn't just roll terribly Oh no, we had a party member downed by the broom in like two rounds in that adventure. That and the animated suit of armor which dropped two PCs in a single round of attacks were probably the most deadly problems we had with Death House, though the final boss came close. Definitely been cementing my opinion 5th edition is pretty bad about PCs being glass cannons given how ridiculously fast those PCs we've had dropped went down from full, though our only fatality has been at a windmill which I understand tends to be a nightmare for most. PC in question was 1st level (my game's Adventurer League and has new people come in and out around the core group a lot) and got critted to full death; apparently he was allowed to come back by the Dark Powers That Be in Ravenloft, though gifted with gills as a result. I suggested the character had gotten his throat clawed out and then woke up with the wounds transformed to said gills.
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May 30, 2016 19:00
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The very first D&D game I played was a homebrewed mixup of 1st and 2nd editions. I had a human Fighter with a maxed out Strength stat. The party was about 4th or 5th level around this time. We're in a dungeon, and we come across a magical beaded curtain. We quickly deduce that you simply have to pass a strength check to get through it and into the next area. Everybody gets through, except for me. See, with my jacked up strength score, I only needed to roll better than a 2 on a d6. And I kept failing. And everytime I failed, I took 1d4 damage. I failed so many times that the cleric had to make another strength check to come BACK through the curtain to heal me. That was when we learned that coming back through the curtain spawned enemies.
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May 30, 2016 19:49
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PC, Wizard: (talking about summoning a creature to ask some questions, using a ritual) "From what I have read, it will answer anything related to a door anywhere in the world - so long as we can identify it. However, if this goes awry, it will lie to us instead". Me, playing a griffon: "Why doors?" (Yes, it talks. magic item) Wizard: "It has an obsession with them." me, OOC: We are summoning an extradimensional being that has Aspergers, got it. That got a few laughs. I love my players, we just get each other.
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May 31, 2016 05:48
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Rampant Dwickery posted:At which point, because we never left the dungeon or beat the boss, the Vampire Lord coughs politely and makes her presence known. This was a loving FANTASTIC story, and this is the kicker that makes it drat near perfect.
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May 31, 2016 14:20
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You are being watched (or Puzzles and Headaches) So this is a while back and was my introduction to Pathfinder. Rules light because most of us were RPG/PF newbies, and the GM was generally a good GM. We were playing via skype, using an online roller room (roll20?). We would later use maptools for most of our PF work, but for now the GM would just send us maps and have us tell him our rough moves, which he'd update on his end, I guess in GIMP or Paint or something. Me being me, having played the Thief games on PC way too much, of course made a rogue. However, having read some of the archived threads that came before this one, and during chargen noticing that the rest of the party was initially a bit flimsy, I decided to throw "hereditary werewolf" into the mix. We were mostly squishy, and the GM agreed that once I'd gained control over the lycanthropy somehow, I would be able to switch between my rogue stats, and being a fighter with counts-as greatsword plus reasonable armour/skin defences for AC (I could/would be able to shuffle my stats around to do this, and playing in a high-fantasy stat level, I of course had 18dex, and decent all around scores for everything else). A session or so later I spotted the Arcane Trickster class, so you can see where this is going. Initially all that would be locked off though - and with the addition of a guy playing a paladin (We'll call him James), we had another newbie who could tank. The other player was my at-the-time GF (We'll call her Sarah because I can't think of anything better) who decided she wanted to play as a kitsune of some sort who was some sort of psychic fighter class - I figured she would (hopefully) be the up front damage, while the paladin tanked, and I snuck around back to stab things and outright murder what else. So, rough outline, and the GM dropped us in an initially solo session each to give us general world flavour and such. Apparently I'd just rocked up to the nearby city which was apparently having some sort of celebration or at least lots of people were there. I decided to snoop around for information and be a rogue, and the GM let me find my way to a bar marked with thieves runes (which are a thing, including in the real world apparently, so that's interesting to learn), so I headed on in to get the lay of the land and see if there was a local thieves guild. The barman was, of course, an ex-adventurer, and while there may or may not have been a thieves guild, there was apparently a hullabaloo up at the local castle for sure, and they were calling for everyone to head up as they might be recruiting. Well, okay then. I RP'ed as best I could (I get a little bit antsy about full on "I do this, say that" flowery blather, as I guess I'm more of a roll-player and used to doing it third person style), and got out and headed up to the castle to sign up for the giant plot hook. Apparently all the other adventurers in the region had answered the call, and were having a grand old time being hosted by the king of whatever country it was we were in. Thieves like me were especially having a good time, stealing everything, eating and drinking like a feast, etc all the usual carrying on apparently. Then the GM tells me that I have a sense of being watched. Now either I'm suddenly a force adept, I have werewolf-senses (kind of like spidey senses?), or else this is a plot hammer, so I promptly just have my character relax, eat like a normal person, occasionally drink, act polite, not steal everything like I usually would, and generally pretend to be a goody two shoes because I figure my character wouldn't be dumb with a plot warning of that nature. After a few more "are you sure you don't want to steal anything, even though you're probably being watched" statements, the GM wrapped it up, and my rogue was introduced to the plot dispenser du jour who was apparently some sort of high up servant. Supposedly the king was being threatened by some sort of evil force, and had trapped the city in a bubble - I forgot to ask how I'd even gotten in, but figured it must have happened without my character noticing while I was temporarily living here or something. He needed help, and was acquiring adventurers who could help - apparently I'd passed the character test portion of the interview by not being an idiotic thief, so they were going to hire me. Cool, plot ahoy! That was pretty much it before I went off to meet the others the following session except for one thing: I'd generally scouted the area, supplied up, and in my GM'ed travels during that session I'd also stumbled over a note that had nonsense words and sentences on it. Theoretically it was a riddle, but it didn't make much sense. After a little poking and rolling the GM 'suggested' it might be some sort of anagram. It came out something like this: Click here to see the thingy That took me a couple of days to hammer out, including a few hints from the GM. That first half makes sense, while the second part is my screwup as the correct version is no longer in my browser history, but the gist is that the king was a lying git about something, and had brought misfortune on everyone in the kingdom. Okay, great. On the plus side my efforts got me a levelup, mostly because I was the one who'd hammered it out while everyone else just gave up. After that we all met up in one of the king's boardrooms or whatever, and our characters were introduced to each other and a DMNPC (who was literally healbot+plotbot - it was played as a stereotypical anime book girl character). This session was basically a quick planning and resource gathering session where we could do some research, collect some bonus gear (plus cart, horse, and a guard or two because a party of three apparently wouldn't live long, and we needed some redshirts), and generally learn to RP some more - I generally stuck to third person, and tried to play comic relief because I realised quite rapidly that trying to play as Garret the perpetual snark and loner would suck for the party as a whole, and I couldn't do it in a way that would be enjoyable for everyone else. So I stuck with a just a little snark and pretend loner while clearly being a joker and actual party member who would help out, because I didn't want to be That Guy, and wanted everyone to have fun. This came off well, and we generally figured out a rough excuse as to why we were all together and going to do the thing, while getting a couple more puzzles dropped on us. The first one we solved as a group, getting me closer to another levelup, but in the meantime putting everyone else on my level. Given some free gold we collected a bunch of extra gear, and finally left the drat town. On our way out, however, we stopped off at some sort of 'store' run by kids before leaving the city proper, and were given the opportunity to pick from a bunch of objects: A toy wooden sword A toy shield A ring that looked decidedly edgy Some sort of book A gemstone of some sort other junk I've forgotten I took the sword because I figured my rogue could use it to play games, do funny stuff, and generally fool around or bluff someone with. I got told it was excalibur. Sarah the kitsune grabbed (with much encouragement because I'd begun to see where this was going, and figured if I was right we'd all get a kick out of this, and she'd have something that upped her damage) the dodgy ring. Apparently it was the witchblade - yes that one. The one in those questionable but obviously for teens and above comics are about. Who knew? The DMNPC grabbed the book, of course, which was apparently some sort of big deal (I was hoping necronomicon, book of the dead, etc). I treated the whole thing as a joke, because these were clearly toys being given by a bunch of kids as 'blessings' to wish us well on our way to saving everyone. Then the building vanished like a magic spell, with the kid smiling a bit creepily.  I started to wonder about that ring. Apparently there were more puzzles on the way, which would help us solve a mega puzzle that the GM put in front of us to look at. My first solution, and our combined one managed to unlock a few bits of it, but otherwise that was it. We'd unlock the other bits by travelling around to key points on a really cool map the GM had made, and adventuring our way around. Our first group agreed destination for the next session? The nearby elven forest which had mysteriously gone silent. What could possibly go wrong? mcjomar fucked around with this message at 15:31 on Jun 3, 2016 |
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Jun 3, 2016 15:15
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Covok ran an amazing "Majestic 12" game in Fate. M12 is a govt conspiracy group, founded in the Atomic Robo universe. It's a universe where the Manhattan Project was just ONE breathtaking effort to betray the laws of physics; gravity, plate tectonics, ghost energy, it's all up for grabs. Our team was Hawk Phillips, the Irish diplomat/spy, Commander "Killstreak" Sousa (the former Invincible Eagle, a Captain America Expy), and Sue the Grad Student. Sue had a chunk of Od-ic energy in her chest from a lab experiment that went 95% wrong and field training best described as "minimal." The year: 1999. Our job: find out why a cabal of New York's Elite was teaming with the Gevansi Mob to acquire Telsian super-science artifacts. Everyone had their part to play: -Hawk called upon her contacts to call on "My ex-roommate Margaret, Telsadyne Secretary". She let us in to our rival's base. We tracked our target, Michael Bloomberk, to Sagan Cafe in (then un-hip) Brooklyn. He was meeting with Atomic Robo. -After listening in on Bloomberk with his enhanced senses, "Killstreak" Sousa had a brilliant idea: send the super strong robot on a wild goose chase. Somehow, with the help of Sue's bafflegab and a payphone, it worked. From Bloomberk, the gang learned that mob was using the subway system as an energy conduit. -Sue used the chunk of energy in her chest to locate the energy disturbances. They headed to the target; an abandoned church in Queens. On the way there, Sousa was recognized by Mobsters. One pulled a baseball bat; he pulled out Stars and Glory, his signature collapsing baton. (Batons were very 90s and very government conspiracy.) The subway riders pointedly looked away as the ex-super soldier pummeled the goombah. Turns out he had an amulet that Sue discovered was a part of Edison's soul. Sue headed to a secret base Majestic 12 Base* to study it. Hawk and Killstreak snuck into the site, with Hawk explaining to a confused priest she was a Catholic...an IRISH Catholic. Get it? Killstreak leapt to the rafters of the building, finding it hollowed out. He leapt down onto the leader, and knocked him out with one punch**. Unfortunately, the violence upset the gathered soul artifacts. That made an odd looking machine explode. and the gang faced The Ghost of Menlo Park, Thomas Deadison! The battle was frantic: Edison's belittling wit was razor sharp, and his body was only semi-corporeal. Hawk provided covering fire through the fake priest's forehead. Sue stood up to Edison's criticism***, summoned the Odic energy from her chest, the power of the remaining artifacts, and her own inchoate rage, and punched the ghost straight out of sync. Meanwhile, Captain Sousa and Hawk destroyed Edison's reincarnation machine. Hawk called in her contacts to get a coverup, care of Slim Dusty, the NYPD's crookedest cop. The church was suffering from a gas leak and the mobsters were running a gambling den. Another successful coverup from Majestic 12. *Set up in "Classified Books", a XXX readery a few blocks away. Only in New York! It took a while for the agent behind the counter to realize Sue wanted "THE" private room, not a "A" private room. **He tagged "Great Entrance" (for his amazing stealth infiltration) and an advantage he got from the Subway Fight: "A Very Public Asskicking". The cult leader had ignored rumors of the Invincible Eagle being in town, and that makes a haymaker even more painful! ***Sue rolled a ++++ against Edison's +7 (Epic) Criticism. She'd heard worse insults from internal email. Golden Bee fucked around with this message at 17:47 on Jun 5, 2016 |
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Jun 5, 2016 07:37
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So, let me tell you about the Ancelyn. Long along, the Danaans were the only race on Tanicus, “grey elves” created at the dawn of time. After creating the Sidh (elves) and their various sub-races, the Danaans left the Prime Material Plane to live out their eternity in Elysium. Fast forward a couple hundred centuries and the conflict known as the Godswar where a group of heroes (a previous group of PC’s, one of which was a Paladin named Karik Dragonhall) needed to learn how to kill a dragon. They sought out the Danaan and learned out to remove the immortality of dragons. However, one of the PC’s was an agent of Cymber, the Maiden of Mystery, Chaotic Neutral goddess of twilight, secrets, and mystery, and was tasked to steal a large chunk of the Danaan treasury due to an ancient debt she felt she was owed. The heroes were caught and almost executed, but managed to escape after a tough-fought battle. However, they had been followed to Elysium by the mortal Catria Windsong, an enemy of the PC’s who was using the Godswar in an attempt to empower her patron god Qord, the Vile Betrayer, Neutral Evil god of greed, decay, and the undead. With Karik’s Blackguard brother at her side, Catira and her army slaughters nearly all of the Danaan under the banner of Dragonhall “in retribution for the affront against Karik and the House of Dragonhall.” Fast-forward to the end of the Godswar. Catira is now the Lady of Pain, Lawful Evil goddess of pain, suffering, vengeance, and torture. Unrecognizable to the surviving Danaan, she convinces them to seek revenge upon the mortals for the crimes they committed. She uses her powers to transport them to their ancient island home of Ancellyon. The Danaan rename themselves the Ancelyn and swear vengeance upon all mortals, specifically their wayward children the Sidh, for their “part” in their near-annihilation. Come the Worldquake and Ancellyon is no longer an island. It’s once again attached to the mainland. The Ancelyn discover that Catira had been lying to them the entire time, and that she was the one who had slaughtered them. Their response? They embrace her further. They’re so far gone that they give themselves over to vengeance, but also swear that “once we’re done with all the mortals, we’re coming for you bitch.” The Ancelyn want the destruction of all the mortal races, especially the Sidh. And who else does? Our Eldritch Knight’s aunt, the one who almost brought the Sidh to their knees once before and is ready to do it again. Taliessyn’s aunt has dispatched one of her sons to train an army of Ancelyn, who will soon be ready to march on the rest of the world with the aid of demonic forces and a red dragon. Now, Taliessyn is an Eldritch Knight who is slowly picking up classes in Warlock as our GM brings Tanicus into 5th edition. Her powers come from the Feywild, and the powers within recognize the threat the Ancelyn pose to the world. They’ve promised Taliessyn an army of her own to take the fight to the Ancelyn…provided the army is summoned BEFORE the Greening festival, as once spring has sprung the army will be need back in the Feywild. So, now we have a ticking clock… X X X X X Right now, our party is trying to break my PC’s mother out of jail. My PC had believed for years that his mother had died when he was very young, but his father’s brother (the High Cleric of Catria) had told him otherwise while standing in a Zone of Truth. The prison is an island in the middle of a huge freshwater lake. Once you’re on the rock, you’re not coming off of it. If you’re a prisoner, you’re there for life. If you’re a guard, you’re a prisoner who has been granted special privileges in return for acting as a guard. If you work there, you never leave but your entire (handsome) salary is sent directly to your family. The only people who are allowed to come and go are the Clerics of Catira, as one of her major shrines is located in the heart of the island. Our group has two leads to find out about how to get onto and off of the island. One is the leader of the local Thieves Guild. The other is a druid who lives in a grove near the shoreline of the lake itself. Cullus, our Rogue, volunteers to go see the leader of the Thieves Guild, with our Barbarian/Bard Skeever coming along. Skeever is coming because he’s carrying the Frost Giant drinking horn we obtained last game, and the plan is to sell it to the leader. The inside of the Thieves Guild is opulent. We’re talking the Amber Room meets Smaug’s horde. There are Halfling whores everywhere, just lounging on plush furniture idly playing with tapestries and gold pieces. The leader sits on a carved throne, with a buxom Halfling on either side of him and a Halfing in a butler’s suit sitting at his feet. The leader himself? The best word is “corpulent,” with a gut that could hold three halflings. Cullus and the leader bargain over the drinking horn as the leader agrees “it would really bring this den of sin together.” 7500 gold pieces…and the information about the prison costs 5000 gold. Cullus, grumbling, agrees… The Halfling butler speaks up. “They’re clean.” All the whores stand up, put their hidden daggers away in a manner that Cullus and Skeever can see them, and file out of the room. The stomach of the Halfling opens up and two Halfling assassins calmly climb out, help the “leader” out of the costume, and also walk out of the room. The butler sits up on the throne and nods to Cullus. “Alright, now we can discuss business.” It turns out that the butler is really the leader, who hides his identity from everyone to keep himself safe and out of the limelight. Eleven years ago, he had been asked to break into the prison and deliver a message to a prisoner. He wouldn’t tell us HOW he did it (“You can’t afford it and I’m not selling it anyway”), but he drew us a rough map and gave us a description of the prison. The prison itself is carved out of the island so the walls go right up to the edge of the cliffs. Prisoners arrive by boat to the base of the island, where a drydock/lock brings them to the entrance to the prison. Prisoners only are taken from the boat – if any crewmen step on the dock, then they become prisoners. The only way into the prison walls is through one gate that takes the prisoner into processing. From there, processing lets out into the exercise yard, and from there it’s only one entrance down into the bowels of the prison. The only other exit is the morgue, where a portcullis is opened when a prisoner dies. The body is dumped out into the lake, where after a thousand foot drop sea lions and merman fight over it. He also points out a certain cell in a certain corner of the prison. “This cell was tripled locked and magically warded. Whatever was inside sounded really angry. I don’t recommend you open this door.” Cullus thanks him for his time…and goes to hand him back a bag of cold worth 500 gold pieces. “Thank you for both your hospitality and a lesson learned in secrecy.” And while he’s shaking hands with the leader, he rolls a natural 20 to slip him a note that Cymber asked him to deliver to the leader without his knowing it. At this point, Skeever asks about the secrecy. quote:Leader: It’s important. This way no one comes after me and my enemies spend their efforts going for someone else. So Skeever hands him a bag of gold. quote:Leader: Um…thank you? Skeever got his gold back in the end. X X X X X A trip up the coast to the druid grove followed. The locals avoided the grove because of the powerful druid that dwelled inside, but since the druid was attached to the lake, perhaps there was a chance she would have some information that could help us. Now, ever since the festival of Wintermist, our Elemental Monk Ksena had slowly been growing what can only be described as a long, flowing cloak of swan feathers. Any time we looked away from her and looked back, the cloak had grown longer and thicker. Apparently it was a gift from the secret order of female monks who had “chosen, but not yet called” Ksena and allowed her to shape change into a swan once per day. This was important because once we got to the druid grove, we saw that it was a giant pond filled with swans. (”There’s a Super Mutant hiding under the water” our Paladin joked). Ksena changed into a swan and swam out into the center of the pond where a large black swan was slowly paddling back and forth. After exchanging greetings in Swan, both shape changed back into human form. The druid in question, Swansea, was in her early 60’s, black leather, swords, daggers…and absolutely insane. See, she had been shape changed into a swan for the past TEN YEARS because no one ever came to visit her. It was just her and the swans. Imagine the TARDIS from the Doctor Who episode The Doctor’s Wife mixed with a whole bunch of downers and that’s Swansea. It took a while to coax the information out of her because she kept looking at her reflection in the pond and going “oh? I’m human? I forgot.” It turned out that there was a secret way onto the island. A long underground tunnel ran from a lakeside cave into a small grotto inside the mountain. The exit from the grotto to the ocean was hidden, even under low tide, which is why no one on the island had ever found it. Once we were in the grotto, we could swim out of the grotto and use Potions of Climbing to scale the cliffs to the entrance to the morgue and break in that way. Of course, when she said “tunnel,” what she really said was “a long passageway consisting of treacherous climbs, steep drops, crumbling boulders, several flooded chambers that will have to be swam through, and the creations of a transmuter named Keller the Mad that lives in a nearby tower who feels the need to ‘improve’ creatures by merging them together to create abominations that he eventually releases into the tunnel once they get too riled up for him to control.” Yep. This adventure was The Rock meets The Island of Dr Moreau. Armed with Potions of Climbing, Water Breathing, and Swimming, along with backup light sources in case my Sorcerer PC goes down, we set off for the cave entrance. As Swansea had said, the transmuter’s tower was in sight of the cave entrance, though luckily the gated itself was hidden in a small depression in the earth. As our Rogue worked on picking the lock and our Cleric worked on dispelling the Alarm spell that would have gone off once we opened the gate, the rest of us saw flashes of light coming from the walkway around the top of the tower. A small figure was up there, cackling madly and shooting black beams of crackling energy at any bird or bat unlucky enough to be flying by at the time. Birds grew kangaroo pouches, bats grew possum tails, and one poor stag walking near the base of the tower turned into half stag/half bear before exploding in a torrent of arcane energy. We ended the session with the entrance to the cave wide open, and our Paladin looking up at this madman and quietly going “just so we’re all on the same page, once we’ve rescued Varis’ mother we’re coming back here and killing this guy on general principle.” 
CobiWann fucked around with this message at 11:39 on Jun 9, 2016 |
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Jun 8, 2016 23:14
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