chitoryu12 posted:

There was an unfinished novel series published for free online a while ago about the Rapture going wrong when it turns out that human technology has grown to the point where the armies of Heaven and Hell are no longer competitive (since they only checked up on humanity once every few hundred years and were unprepared for the Industrial Revolution). What's supposed to be the apocalypse ends in the armies of humanity banding together and invading Heaven and Hell to demonstrate just what they think of this whole "destroy the world" business.

During the invasion of Hell, it's discovered that any humans who die are effectively immortalized in their state of death and have incredible durability and healing (to allow them to be effectively tortured by Hell for eternity) but will be super-permanent dead if they actually get re-killed. This becomes a plot point, as dead soldiers begin starting insurgencies within Hell and anyone who dies gets found and added back to their forces during the push.

And then they find that aborted babies count as dying, and they really do spend eternity as squirming fetuses. This revelation is so horrifying that everyone involved decides to just cover it up because they're afraid of the public reaction.

Gorilla Salad posted:

And extra workers, too. Life in a socialist wonderland

Rick_Hunter posted:

Awesome battle of the Planes...Cool
Extremely Right Wing...Pass

Lime Tonics posted:

Don't sit in weird trashcans kids.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8zQP2vycQkg

Here is how deep they are.

https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-RHCmi29DCLU/U6mtlnFo_JI/AAAAAAAAXqQ/Msu0sskG88k/w530-h793-p-rw/P1070029-MOTION.gif

Gorilla Salad posted:

I'm guessing it's attached to the garbage truck. Still seems a lot of extra work for the driver, though.




And extra workers, too. Life in a socialist wonderland

darkhand posted:

Wouldn't the fact that the total volume is like 9 times larger mean you don't have to visit it as often? Like counter act the extra manpower per lift?

Non Serviam posted:

I don't think it's a right wing point to suggest humans can kick God's rear end.

Non Serviam posted:

I don't think it's a right wing point to suggest humans can kick God's rear end.

quote:

See, the actual genesis of The Salvation War is this innocuous little exchange:

'You can't even GET to heaven. You don't even know where it is, or even if it still exists.'
'So storm Hell.'

So small a thing, really. The thread it comes from was a hypothetical about Heaven running out of room, condemning all people to an eternity of torment in Hell. The actual question was about the sociological impact, but true to form it took five posts for someone to suggest that obviously the solution is prosecute a war against God. From here, the entire thread immediately shifted away from a reasonably interesting topic to justifying the totally laughable topic shift. It was this thread that set some of the very basic assumptions that would later arise in The Salvation War, such as Hell and Heaven being physical places - this assumption because the OP mentioned that there was 'incontrovertible evidence' of the existence of Heaven and Hell which of course wasn't just a handwave to head-off pointless discussion, it was a statement that these places are detectable by science and thus reachable and traversable.

The content of that thread is totally forgettable: it was very much a one sane man fighting against a flood of nonsense scenario. A majority of posters in that thread agreed that it would make for a great story. Even the greatest detractors of The Salvation War agree that the scenario is at least interesting. Naturally if there is to be a story then the board would have to rely on quote unquote published quote unquote author Stuart Slade. At this point Stuart was a respected member of the forum, for a variety of reasons, but most of them stemming from the fact that he rose to prominence in SDN's early days when it was much more right-leaning than it is now. His masturbatory pro-America pro-nuclear military alt hist borefest The Big One keyed with a bunch of early users and he got a lot of hype. By the time I joined SDN he was well-established as a go to for anything relating to war, because of his apparent experience as nuclear targeteer. So he nobly took up the challenge.

Much has been said about the books in this thread and others and I won't go over them in detail. However, I will say that the whole story is essentially encapsulated in its rightly infamous opening paragraphs:

“I, Satan Mekratrig, Lord of Hell, Commander of the Legions of the Damned do hereby declare my dominion over the earth and all that it contains. Crawl to me, humans, knowing the eternity of torment that awaits you.”

“Balls.” Said Lieutenant Michael Wong. The voice that had come over the radio link, booming in the cockpit of his F/A-18E, had distracted him from paying proper attention to the cockpit display of his APG-79 radar. The new AESA radar was a vast improvement over the older APG-73 but that was, as always, a slight problem all of its own. Until the pilots learned how to take full advantage of the improved data flow, they could be swamped with it. Wong was experiencing that problem now, the resolution of the new radar was phenomenal but it seemed to indicate that the wings on the targets 60 nautical miles out in front of him were flapping.

'Balls' has become such an enduring meme of a certain clique on SDN that it has lost almost all meaning. Anyway, you can see the hallmarks of this extremely long story here. The atrocious dialogue. The obsession with technical minutiae. The pandering to members of the board. If you asked Stuart today he'd tell you this was all part of a cunning plan to covertly subvert the closed leftie minds of SDN but that's jumping ahead too much. In any case, these two paragraphs were the make and break for basically everyone on the board who read them. You either liked it and stuck with it for a million pages or you just quietly ignored it. Or you tried to talk about how bad it was, but Armageddon???? and its sequel Pantheocide was such a sacred cow that it was at times difficult. It was panderfiction and it worked. It even worked beyond the scope of SDN, as you'd know if you involved yourself in some of the previous discussions on The Salvation War.

The Salvation War was planned as a trilogy, but the third book has been put on indefinite hiatus. So where did it go wrong? It all comes down to Stuart not understanding how torrents work and basically being a lunatic. It's been mentioned that a fan collected the stories in a torrent file, and when Stuart found out he flipped his poo poo. He was adamant that this piracy had completely destroyed any possibility of a publishing deal, setting aside for a moment that the torrent didn't work, the whole story was already available online and no publisher would touch The Salvation War with a fifty foot pole. In a fit of pique he canceled the final entry, but he just wouldn't shut up about it. He constructed this inane narrative about how the FBI was very interested in the goings on (?) and how he was going to seek millions in damages (??) and how everyone on SDN should care because the guy who made the torrent was actually a fundamentalist looking to sabotage the project (???).

Suffice to say there was stuff going on behind the scenes, but I won't share that speculation here. The practical effect was that Stuart's star dimmed and he was basically run off SDN. He escaped back to his seat on HPCA, the elite sub-board of his personal forum, where he maintained the fundamentalist false flag op narrative and further explained to his crazy cronies that the whole trilogy wasn't really serious, it was something he'd done to, as I mentioned earlier, slip through the defenses of SDN and bring them over to the righteous conservative wing of politics. Not even joking.

The Salvation War is basically nothing. A pair of extremely long, sub-fanfic stories about the amazing American military literally killing Satan and literally dropping a nuclear weapon on Jesus. It's what surrounds it that makes it interesting. The way the TV Tropes entry is longer than both my arms and carefully edited to include no legitimate complaints. The way fans will tell you with a straight face that it is dry because it is actually written in the style of a documentary, setting aside that it obviously isn't and even if it was documentaries are usually interesting.

Henchman of Santa posted:

https://twitter.com/trillballins/status/736017442833453056

Nitrox posted:

What? Can you explain?

darkhand posted:

Wouldn't the fact that the total volume is like 9 times larger mean you don't have to visit it as often? Like counter act the extra manpower per lift?

ekuNNN posted:

Alaois posted:

a man got owned so hard by the national spelling bee he deleted his twitter account

Platystemon posted:

A man who, it would appear, is either a neo-nazi or at least twenty‐seven years old.

Kurieg posted:

Well, it doesn't look like the garbage truck itself is any bigger. So you're probably looking at less empties per trash can, but they wouldn't be able to just do them all in one day.

Zopotantor posted:

Garbage trucks have compactors built in.

Skarsnik posted:

They almost certainly didn't take any of that into account when they put them in, definitely didn't do any cost v saving calculations and simply did it because they look cool

If only they had asked the goons, bet they feel silly now

aardwolf posted:

The former. I don't want to get in to what a giant piece of poo poo he is, but I will point out to anyone interested there is a wikipedia article on him and it barely scratches the surface.

Random Stranger posted:

This would imply that local governments do any kind of cost calculation rather than accepting the numbers that the vendors put in front of them and I think we all know that isn't true.

Flash Gordon Ramsay posted:

Not sure how to properly link or embed a facebook video, but this is certainly thread worthy.

https://www.facebook.com/971002339640391/videos/1124418034298820

walrusman posted:

They're an anti-terrorism measure. Places in the U.S. are starting to use them now too, including new-construction stadiums.

The Nards Pan posted:

So if terrorists try to hide in there they fall down to where dirty Harry can gently caress them up? Solid plan.

Scarf posted:

MY POOP IS COMING!

Hello thread title for forever.

Deadly Mongoose posted:

New Fail Army Today:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXFVrD38HSA

Testekill posted:

https://theintercept.com/2016/05/25/american-sniper-chris-kyle-distorted-his-military-record-documents-show/

Turns out Chris Kyle was full of poo poo and people on facebook can't accept that "ONE OF OUR MILITARY MEN" was a liar.

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

Bully picks on kid. Since I'm posting it here you know how it goes ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-VI4kpgxTg

Deadly Mongoose posted:

New Fail Army Today:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXFVrD38HSA

Jippa posted:

If the name of the link doesn't scare you the actual story is worse.


http://www.nbcconnecticut.com/news/national-international/Thailand-Python-Attacks-Man-Toilet-380986261.html

Flash Gordon Ramsay posted:

Not sure how to properly link or embed a facebook video, but this is certainly thread worthy.

https://www.facebook.com/971002339640391/videos/1124418034298820

Centripetal Horse posted:

I thought we already knew Chris Kyle was enormously full of poo poo. Is this new proof?