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Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Looks like Inglewood is still up to no good.

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fartknocker
Oct 28, 2012


Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.



Wedge Regret

I'm happier now that I know a place called Lone Butte Casino exists in this universe. :yosbutt:

Proust Malone
Apr 4, 2008

fartknocker posted:

I'm happier now that I know a place called Lone Butte Casino exists in this universe. :yosbutt:

You bet your rear end it does.

HOTLANTA MAN
Jul 4, 2010

by Hand Knit
Lipstick Apathy

Ron Jeremy posted:

You bet your rear end it does.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-uUZCgDMoxY

kiimo
Jul 24, 2003

It was called Twin Butte Casino until Marty McFly got involved.

Leperflesh
May 17, 2007

kiimo posted:

The California casinos are such a joke. No thanks on your crooked odds Japanese card game or whatever. You don't even have slots.

Not all of them are like that. The indian casinos don't have to follow those rules. Just the "card rooms."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_casinos_in_California

Kevyn
Mar 5, 2003

I just want to smile. Just once. I'd like to just, one time, go to Disney World and smile like the other boys and girls.
Was his campaign slogan "Feel the Butts"

kiimo
Jul 24, 2003

Awesome! I'll just go to




gently caress.

Kevyn
Mar 5, 2003

I just want to smile. Just once. I'd like to just, one time, go to Disney World and smile like the other boys and girls.
Boy all the best neighborhoods get their own casino in LA, eh?

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


Leperflesh posted:

That would be a very interesting and useful chart if all of those casinos had sports books, but I bet they don't.

Or the stadiums were there first. Heinz Field was there for eight years before Rivers Casino opened, Horseshoe Casino Baltimore opened 16 years after M&T Bank, FirstEnergy Stadium and Paul Brown Stadium opened 13 years before Jack Cleveland Casino and Horseshoe Casino Cincinnati, and I lost interest in looking dates up after that because if you're running slot machines 19 miles away from the stadium...who cares, that casino might even be in a different state at that point.

warcrimes
Jul 6, 2013

I don't know what's it called, I just know the sound it makes when it takes a J4G's life. :parrot: :parrot: :parrot: :parrot:

kiimo posted:

You don't even have slots.

kiimo posted:

Awesome! I'll just go to




gently caress.


Lol slots. Who are you, an 80-year-old tourist named Madge?

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

warcrimes posted:

Lol slots. Who are you, an 80-year-old tourist named Madge?

look man I just want to get my ghostbusters and sex in the city slot games on ok

kiimo
Jul 24, 2003

Slots are how I ease into it. Blackjack is how I get tipsy. Craps is where I get blasted. Video Roulette is how I stretch the remaining cash long enough to get a bunch of free drinks.

But you can keep your Hollywood Casino pai gow or whatever.

Proust Malone
Apr 4, 2008

Sash! posted:

If you're running slot machines 19 miles away from the stadium...who cares, that casino might even be in a different state at that point.

Maybe in your tiny little girly states

Rick
Feb 23, 2004
When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.

MechaFrogzilla posted:

I've already done Seattle - Yellowstone - Minneapolis - Chicago - East coast (NY/DC) twice, and NY - Charlotte - Atlanta - NOLA - Austin - LA - SF - Seattle once. Gonna to DC - Seattle in 4 days this summer. Cross country road trips own bones.

The absolute most important thing is to get off the interstate highways. They're efficient and fast, but they all look exactly the same. The old highways are where all the weird poo poo is.

I have done the cross country vertical and have similar advice, the only thing I would say, return to the highway a couple hours before you know you're tired if you don't already have a room or know of somewhere you can set up a camp at in the dark, because the side highways and roads usually only have enough vacancy to accommodate the truckers doing the same route. On the other hand there's always vacancy near the interstates.

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


Ron Jeremy posted:

Maybe in your tiny little girly states

A lot of Eastern cities are right on state borders for some reason.

AsInHowe
Jan 11, 2007

red winged angel

Sash! posted:

A lot of Eastern cities are right on state borders for some reason.

Rivers, and bodies of water.

Alaois
Feb 7, 2012

i've never understood playing video-based gambling games, at least at table games you can see the drat deck in front of you, how can you trust a computer enough to not completely gently caress you

fast cars loose anus
Mar 2, 2007

Pillbug

Alaois posted:

i've never understood playing video-based gambling games, at least at table games you can see the drat deck in front of you, how can you trust a computer enough to not completely gently caress you

There are laws about how often they pay out and at least Nevada tests the circuit boards for that but I'm not sure I'd trust it either

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

Alaois posted:

i've never understood playing video-based gambling games, at least at table games you can see the drat deck in front of you, how can you trust a computer enough to not completely gently caress you

they're a lot cheaper and basically exist for people to sit at and get free drinks while playing a quarter a hand

computer parts
Nov 18, 2010

PLEASE CLAP

Sash! posted:

A lot of Eastern cities are right on state borders for some reason.

Not much room to be anywhere else.

kiimo
Jul 24, 2003

The most money I've every won gambling was at a slot, 900 bucks. #2, #3, #4 and #5 are slots as well. Then probably poker tournaments. I guess slots suck if you aren't a golden child like me where overlapping of infinities in the universe creates a rift over your head that money (and free drinks) flows out of.

Kirios
Jan 26, 2010




I've never won at anything but slots, where I consistently win 200+ dollars every time I gamble. Therefore, I never play anything but slots anymore.

FUCKFACE MORON
Apr 23, 2010

by sebmojo
craps or bust

Big Ol Marsh Pussy
Jan 7, 2007

I'm going to the bicycle casino today

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


computer parts posted:

Not much room to be anywhere else.

New York, DC, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Cleveland, Cincinnati, Charlotte, Chicago, Jacksonville, and Buffalo all have whole states they could have had around them, but nope all crammed into corners less than 25 miles from another state.

Alaois
Feb 7, 2012

Sash! posted:

New York, DC, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Cleveland, Cincinnati, Charlotte, Chicago, Jacksonville, and Buffalo all have whole states they could have had around them, but nope all crammed into corners less than 25 miles from another state.

i'm not sure you know how settling works

Cuban Chowder Factory
Jun 3, 2002

Sash! posted:

New York, DC, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Cleveland, Cincinnati, Charlotte, Chicago, Jacksonville, and Buffalo all have whole states they could have had around them, but nope all crammed into corners less than 25 miles from another state.

Cleveland is two hours, if you drive like a crazy person, from any other state. They have enough issues, don't throw that one into the mix.

Leperflesh
May 17, 2007

Alaois posted:

i've never understood playing video-based gambling games, at least at table games you can see the drat deck in front of you, how can you trust a computer enough to not completely gently caress you

The machines are heavily regulated and the regulators review the software code and payout tables. A dealer, on the other hand, can and will make errors. I've caught a blackjack dealer loving up at least twice, and I've only played blackjack at a casino maybe six times, ever. Just basic poo poo like failing to add up their own four cards correctly, or accidentally flipping a card when they shouldn't, or failing to correctly calculate what 2.5x $8 is, poo poo like that.

Also there's no peer pressure to tip your video poker machine.

That said, the only games you can actually win at are ones where you take other players' money (poker), and sports betting. Everything else is for suckers.

Spoeank
Jul 16, 2003

That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it
I grew up 2 hours away from the Nevada border. When my dad's parents flew in from Ohio we would always go to Tahoe or Reno. When we were in a casino I remarked how big and impressive it was to my mom.

She responded, "they didn't build this with their own money. And they didn't do it out of the goodness of their hearts."

I can't fathom non-sports book non-poker gambling.

Raku
Nov 7, 2012

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.

Roll Tide

Spoeank posted:

I grew up 2 hours away from the Nevada border. When my dad's parents flew in from Ohio we would always go to Tahoe or Reno. When we were in a casino I remarked how big and impressive it was to my mom.

She responded, "they didn't build this with their own money. And they didn't do it out of the goodness of their hearts."

I can't fathom non-sports book non-poker gambling.

did you nod and agree that all of our worldly possessions really belong to the Lord

Big Ol Marsh Pussy
Jan 7, 2007

It's fun to risk money to win more money responsibly

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


Big Ol Marsh Pussy posted:

It's fun to risk money to win more money responsibly

Betting on a Bengals playoff win isn't "risking" money, it's giving it away and admitting you don't want it

The Glumslinger
Sep 24, 2008

Coach Nagy, you want me to throw to WHAT side of the field?


Hair Elf

ftfy

Also, my man :hfive:

Also, you don't go gambling to win money or break even, you go there to get extra enjoyment out spending the money. A bunch of us from work organize a trip to Reno every year, becuase the nicest hotels are as cheap as mediocre places in vegas, and when you're on the casino floor or the sports book, who cares where it is. Plus all of the game minimums are cheap as hell, even when its crowded.

Good Acceptable stuff :)

The Glumslinger fucked around with this message at 05:00 on May 28, 2016

v2vian man
Sep 1, 2007

Only question I
ever thought was hard
was do I like Kirk
or do I like Picard?
Why go to Vegas when there's Reno

Why read novels when there's ad copy

Why drink Avery when there's Keystone

Why listen to music when there's ringtones

Lessail
Apr 1, 2011

:cry::cry:
tell me how vgk aren't playing like shit again
:cry::cry:
p.s. help my grapes are so sour!
Reno blows

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

v2vian man posted:

Why go to Vegas when there's Reno

Why read novels when there's ad copy

Why drink Avery when there's Keystone

Why listen to music when there's ringtones

Why read Rap when Chiche posts so much more often?

Keyser_Soze
May 5, 2009

Pillbug
Reno owns in its own way for budget golf trips, there are great courses up there without all the Vegas desert poo poo and crowded obnoxiousness and Johnny Manziel pool party/nightclub crap. There are hipster brew pubs and stuff opening up around downtown and UNR too. The strippers are much rougher though, obviously.

Vegas owns too though.

Keyser_Soze fucked around with this message at 15:56 on May 28, 2016

FCKGW
May 21, 2006

I got family in Carson City and it's very pretty and I hope to move there some day

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AsInHowe
Jan 11, 2007

red winged angel
Reno is a shithole filled with abusive people that somehow aren't allowed to live in Florida.

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