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my dad
Oct 17, 2012

this shall be humorous

Spermy Smurf posted:

Also he is a striking elf. Dont elves have strength-- as a base stat?

Nope. Toughness-

Which is why Josie is pretty good at earning her title of "the Bludgeonatrix"

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Klokwurk
Sep 18, 2010

I'm completely bloody shit at this!
Oh well, at least we caused some carnage on the way out. :black101:

Candy Corn Tiger, a male Tigerman fighter.

He has the following equipment.
Iron Halberd
Oak Wood Shield
Bronze Helm
Iron Mail Shirt
Bronze Gauntlets
Iron High Boots

He has the following skills.
Level 3 Fighting (Competent)
Level 4 Axe (Skilled)
Level 1 Wrestling (Novice)
Level 2 Biting (Adequate)
Level 3 Dodging (Competent)
Level 3 Shield (Competent)
Level 2 Armor (Adequate)

Candy Corn Tiger has 150 points currently available to spend. (I forgot to spend my points in the last round.)

The points in biting and wrestling were a bit silly, but seeing as humans, elves and such love to bite people, I thought my fighter might go for a bite-and-shake. As far as I noticed, that never happened though. Do tigermen just never bite?

frankenfreak
Feb 16, 2007

I SCORED 85% ON A QUIZ ABOUT MONDAY NIGHT RAW AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY TEXT

#bastionboogerbrigade
Finally a build that doesn't make me envious with their skill values.

frankenfreak, you are managing Jakob, a male Werewolf fighter.

This fighter is participating in the 1054 Armok Arena League tournament as a member of Team 13: Heavyweight Horrorshow.

He has the following equipment.
Bronze Mace
Copper Helm
Leather Armor
Iron Mail Shirt
Leather Gauntlets
Leather High Boots

He has the following skills.
Level 4 Fighting (Skilled)
Level 4 Hammer (Skilled)
Level 4 Wrestling (Skilled)
Level 3 Biting (Competent)
Level 4 Dodging (Skilled)
Level 5 Armor (Proficient)
Level 1 Kicking (Novice)

Jakob has 14 points currently available to spend.

Pickled Tink
Apr 28, 2012

Have you heard about First Dog? It's a very good comic I just love.

Also, wear your bike helmets kids. I copped several blows to the head but my helmet left me totally unscathed.



Finally you should check out First Dog as it's a good comic I like it very much.
Fun Shoe
I just ran Worker Cooperative VS The Plump Helmets. I'll do the writeup either later today or tomorrow.

Keru
Aug 2, 2004

'n suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us 'n the sky was full of what looked like 'uge bats, all swooping 'n screeching 'n divin' around the ute.

Captaindirtnap posted:

Holy crap. No wonder the poor bastard never earned a name. That elf had twice his body weight in armor.

Slade gauntlets all over again.

Nah man it's cool, he's got 9 armor skill :downs:

Ramc
May 4, 2008

Bringing your thread to a screeching halt, guaranteed.

Pickled Tink posted:

I just ran Worker Cooperative VS The Plump Helmets. I'll do the writeup either later today or tomorrow.

:f5:

Oh wait we are already in the playoffs.

:shrug:

Take your time buddy.

Galick
Nov 26, 2011

Why does Khajiit have to go to prison this time?
Galick, you are managing Goku, a male Tigerman fighter.

This fighter is participating in the 1054 Armok Arena League tournament as a member of A furry, a farmer, and two cows.

He has the following equipment.
Iron Cap
Iron Mail Shirt
Copper Leggings
Copper Gauntlets
Leather High Boots

He has the following skills.
Level 1 Fighting (Novice)
Level 5 Hammer (Proficient)
Level 10 Wrestling (Accomplished)
Level 6 Striking (Talented)
Level 1 Shield (Novice)
Level 6 Armor (Talented)

Goku has 6.25 points currently available to spend.

Ramc
May 4, 2008

Bringing your thread to a screeching halt, guaranteed.

Pickled Tink posted:

I just ran Worker Cooperative VS The Plump Helmets. I'll do the writeup either later today or tomorrow.

Are you on the west coast?

Pickled Tink
Apr 28, 2012

Have you heard about First Dog? It's a very good comic I just love.

Also, wear your bike helmets kids. I copped several blows to the head but my helmet left me totally unscathed.



Finally you should check out First Dog as it's a good comic I like it very much.
Fun Shoe

Ramc posted:

Are you on the west coast?
No. The East Coast. Of Australia.

Tiler Kiwi
Feb 26, 2011
sorry to hear that, hope things improve for you

Pickled Tink
Apr 28, 2012

Have you heard about First Dog? It's a very good comic I just love.

Also, wear your bike helmets kids. I copped several blows to the head but my helmet left me totally unscathed.



Finally you should check out First Dog as it's a good comic I like it very much.
Fun Shoe
So do I :negative:

Pickled Tink fucked around with this message at 10:02 on May 30, 2016

Pickled Tink
Apr 28, 2012

Have you heard about First Dog? It's a very good comic I just love.

Also, wear your bike helmets kids. I copped several blows to the head but my helmet left me totally unscathed.



Finally you should check out First Dog as it's a good comic I like it very much.
Fun Shoe
:siren: Round 18, Fight 6 :siren:

Worker Cooperative (9-8), the home team, is on the left side of the arena.
Combat Liberalism (Jack the Lad) is a female gremlin. She wields an iron large dagger and wears no armor.
Unthrottle the Axolotl (Zwingley) is a female kobold. She wields a bronze scourge and wears a copper helm, leather armor, a copper mail shirt, leather leggings, copper gauntlets, and copper high boots.
Jameson the Unruly (Cathode Raymond) is a male human. He wields an iron two-handed sword and wears a copper cap, a copper breast plate, copper leggings, copper gauntlets, and copper low boots.
Albrik the Insignificant (Tiler Kiwi) is a male kobold. He wields an iron battleaxe and wears a bronze cap, a bronze mail shirt, bronze leggings, bronze gauntlets, and bronze low boots.

The Plump Helmets (11-6), the visiting team, is on the right side of the arena.
Dory (my dad) is a female minotaur. She wields two copper spears and wears a bronze cap, leather armor, a bronze mail shirt, bronze gauntlets, and bronze high boots.
James LargeSausage (Afriscipio) is a male human. He wields an iron halberd and wears an iron helm, an iron mail shirt, iron leggings, iron gauntlets, and iron low boots.
Josie the Bludgeonatrix (Ramc) is a female elf. She wields a copper mace and a wooden shield and wears leather armor, leather gauntlets, and leather high boots.
Return of Panty Thief (Mr. Vile) is a male yeti. He is empty handed and wears a bronze helm, a bronze breast plate, bronze greaves, bronze gauntlets, and bronze low boots.



The Plump Helmets is a 1.28 to 1 betting favorite in this match with 11352.00 dwarfbucks in total bets placed on them, compared to 8874.00 dwarfbucks for Worker Cooperative.


Here we are again for another exciting round of the Arena. On the left we have the home team, Worker Cooperative, who are fighting for the forces of Communism and the rights of workers. On the right, fighting for the forces of Capitalism and subterranian horticulture, we have the visiting team The Plump Helmets.

The Siren sounds and The Plump Helmets set off. After a brief huddle, the Worker Cooperative agrees that obeying the starting siren is not compromising their own Communist values and set off as well. The two teams meet in the center of the arena, though Jameson the Unruly lags behind somewhat, grumbling about the purity of Communism not involving obeying the whims of some faceless figure up in the commissioners box. I find this offensive. I worked very hard to re-attach my face after the belt sander incident thank you very much.


The first attack of the match comes from Josie the Bludgeonatrix as she swings her mace at Unthrottle the Axolotle, he leaps back from the swing. Frustrated, she swings her mace again, this time at Albrik the Insignificant, who follows the example of his fellow kobold and does the same.

As the rest come together, Combat liberalism attacks Dory with her dagger, but fails to penetrate the minotaurs armour. James LargeSausage, however, has no such setbacks and drives his halberd into the gremlins foot, tearing muscles and nerves and sending the gremlin to the floor with blood spurting out around the embedded halberd from a severed artery. Unthrottle attacks the James with her scourge, but he twists the embedded halberd around to parry the strike before tearing it free. Jameson the Unruly finally arrives and stabs at James with his two handed sword but it, like Combat Liberalism's earlier attack, slides off his armour harmlessly.

Combat Liberalism may be down and bleeding profusely from a horrible leg wound, but she is determined to prove she is not out, stabbing at Dory's head with her dagger, but it is caught on the minotaurs helmet. Fortunately for her, both Dory and Panty thief are annoyed at what they percieve to be James LargeSausage's grandstanding and charge him together. The human manages to dodge Dory but not the yeti and is knocked tumbling to the floor. Josie the Bludgeonatrix, annoyed at Panty thief, charges the yeti in turn and crashes to the ground. It seems that one of the deciding traits of capitalism is that it promotes infighting, and The Plump Helmets seem determined to deliver. Can the glorious champions of the people, Worker Cooperative capitalise on this?

No, they cannot. James LargeSausage hops back to his feet and brings his halberd around in an exquisite strike that lifts Unthrottles head from her shoulders and sends it rolling away with a shocked and confused expression on her face.


Hoping to replicate the other humans manouver, Jameson the Unruly swings his own blade at the head of Return of Panty Thief. His hands, however, are slick with the cold sweat of fear, and he only manages to connect with the flat of his blade, crushing the yetis ear. Panty thief lets out a howl of outrage and punches at the puny human who leaps away before turning his attention on Albrik who wisely leaps away from the foul tempered yeti. Jameson returns, however, striking Panty thief in the foot with the pommel of his sword in possibly the least well thought out attack of the match, and the yetis retaliatory strike sails narrowly over the silly humans head.

Combat liberalism, still consigned to the floor, tries to slash open Dory's chest. The minotaur snarls as the dagger strikes sparks off his mail shirt and drives one of his spears into the kobolds chest, finding a gap between the creatures ribs and staking the kobold to the floor through his right lung. The kobold chokes and coughs up blood before passing out from pain, just in time for James LargeSausage to remove her head.


Josie the Bludgeonatrix is determined to finally get in on the action, and she chooses Albrik as her target, presumably assuming from his inability to contribute thus far that he is a bumbling oaf. It turns out that this assumption is in error as he twists out of the way of her mace and uses the momentum of his spin to send his axe shearing through her right leg below the knee, severing it in a spray of blood and gore. Before the kobold can capitalise on this, Dory stabs at him from behind. Albrik ducks under the blow and sends his axe swinging out towards the minotaur, attempting to drive him back so he can deal with Josie, but as he turns back to her he spots her mace coming towards his face and only barely manages to throw himself back and away from the stricken elf.

Realising he has to deal with the minotaur as a matter of urgency, Albrik hacks at Dory, digging a deep gash in the minotaurs left arm, breaking the bone and causing the spear to drop from lifeless fingers. Unfortunately, Dory has a spare, and stabs at the annoying rat creature with it. Albrik leaps away from the attack before jumping back in with an overhead swing that bounces his axe off the minotaurs helmet, then kicks the minotaur in the mouth sending his teeth scattering across the arena.

To the south, Panty Thief grabs Jameson the Unruly by his breastplate. Unable to break the yeti's grasp, and seeing James LargeSausage headed his way, he pops the straps and falls free of the armour, leaving it in the yetis grasp. Now without armour, Jameson parries the first blow from James then dodges Panty Thief's fist before ducking under his own swing breastplate. Unfortunately, that is as far as he gets before James LargeSausage drives his halberd into his left foot, sending him to the floor with severed arteries and nerves. To make matters worse, Josie the Bludgeonatrix has finally crawled over and bashes him in the right upper arm, jamming bone fragments into his muscle and causing him to lose his grip on his two handed sword.

To the north, Dory lets out a snarl of frustration and drives his spear into Albrik's head, cracking his skull. Amazingly the kobold remains conscious and standing, slapping the minotaur in the leg with his axe. Dory then yanks his spear free of the kobolds scalp and charges the diminutive creature, who dodges aside and attempts to cut the larger creatures leg out from under him as he passes. Dory is too skilled for that and parries the attack with his spear before driving it through the kobolds left forearm, tearing muscle and nerves. A second strike, this time driven into the Albrik's right thigh, breaks his femur and causes the hardy and heroic kobold to pass out from pain.

Jameson the Unruly seems determined not to go down with a fight. Despite being disarmed and facing three opponents, he bravely and repeatedly lashes out with his fists, driving back The Plump Helmets. Unfortunately it cannot last, and James LargeSausage sinks his halberd into Jameson's right leg, the crunch of his bone breaking almost being drowned out by his scream of pain before he collapses, the last thing he sees before losing consciousness is Return of Panty Thief drawing back for a blow, and the last thing he ever experences is his head being crushed with his own breastplate.


Moments later Dory splits Albrik's head in half with his remaining spear.


Proving Capitalism to be superior, The Plump Helmets defeat Worker Cooperative 4-0, eliminating any hope they had of reaching the finals.

Kills:

James LargeSausage: 2
Return of Panty Thief: 1
Dory: 1

Combat log: Link



Worker Cooperative should take some small solace in the fact that they managed to redistribute some wealth with their deaths.

Pickled Tink fucked around with this message at 13:24 on May 30, 2016

Pickled Tink
Apr 28, 2012

Have you heard about First Dog? It's a very good comic I just love.

Also, wear your bike helmets kids. I copped several blows to the head but my helmet left me totally unscathed.



Finally you should check out First Dog as it's a good comic I like it very much.
Fun Shoe
It appears that with that match done, the finals have been decided.

Worse Munki
Two Chicks With Dicks
Hell's Dentists
The Petting Zoo
The Plump Helmets
Subterranean Animists
Go Big and/or Go Home
Team Laser Explosion

Go Big is in with either a win or a loss (Even 4-0), and Team Laser Explosion clinches the final slot on kills.

Tiler Kiwi
Feb 26, 2011
well that went as expected

albrik has a thing against dory's teeth, it seems

Synthbuttrange
May 6, 2007

Throw all the losers into a giant meat grinder

Jazzimus Prime
May 16, 2002

The Brothers Autobot
A very tough finish for Worker Cooperative, which had a 9-5 record before losing their final four matches by a combined score of 16-1. :sadwave:

Their loss is Team Laser Explosion's gain. TLE appeared to have no hope when they were three back of Worker Cooperative with three matches to go, and with TLE having to be the visitor for two of the three, and WC getting to fight at home for two of the three. But a crazy finish to the season allows Team Laser Explosion to squeak in by way of the tiebreaker.

SynthOrange posted:

Throw all the losers into a giant meat grinder

There's a possibility of running a loser's tournament with the teams that don't make the playoffs, but no promises yet.

Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face
I'm so sorry Worker Cooperative, you were one of my favourite teams and it was painful having to root against you in that fight.

But yesssss Team Laser Explosion makes the playoffs! Right up until this moment, I never thought that would happen.

Dark Off
Aug 14, 2015




Maugrim posted:

I'm so sorry Worker Cooperative, you were one of my favourite teams and it was painful having to root against you in that fight.

But yesssss Team Laser Explosion makes the playoffs! Right up until this moment, I never thought that would happen.

I always knew that mogwai would carry team laser explosion.
I have faith in that little guy. especially for her 1 level of biting

I also created dwarf fortress arena challenge discord server
everyone is free to join
https://discord.gg/012gPEDdSpgnA08vP
i can make rooms for teams in there so people can discuss strategy more easily

Dark Off fucked around with this message at 13:07 on May 30, 2016

Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face

Dark Off posted:

I always knew that mogwai would carry team laser explosion.
I have faith in that little guy. especially for her 1 level of biting

I also created dwarf fortress arena challenge discord server
everyone is free to join
https://discord.gg/012gPEDdSpgmHSeKr
i can make rooms for teams in there so people can discuss strategy more easily

Also IRC users don't forget that #df on SynIRC is a thing. (I only just found it, no idea how active it is)

my dad
Oct 17, 2012

this shall be humorous
There's something magical about Panty Thief murdering people with their own gear. :allears:

frankenfreak
Feb 16, 2007

I SCORED 85% ON A QUIZ ABOUT MONDAY NIGHT RAW AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY TEXT

#bastionboogerbrigade

Pickled Tink posted:

Worker Cooperative should take some small solace in the fact that they managed to redistribute some wealth with their deaths.
Redistributing from the already poor! :argh:

Mr. Vile
Nov 25, 2009

And, where there is treasure, there will be Air Pirates.

my dad posted:

There's something magical about Panty Thief murdering people with their own gear. :allears:

There really is. It is a thing of glory.

AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007

SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?
Yam Slacker
Ignominy, then.

James LargeSausage gets the two kills he needs to overtake Chaz Steadyfist and In Like Flynn, 26 kills the target of champions. Flynn needs one kill to tie and two to claim outright: The only other one still in the race is Dusseldwarf who can hit 26 on a perfect sweep. The only match with nothing riding on it is CRAP vs the whipping boys, which has comedy value.

Ramc
May 4, 2008

Bringing your thread to a screeching halt, guaranteed.

Pickled Tink posted:

Can the glorious champions of the people, Worker Cooperative capitalise on this?

In a victory of ideological purity over practicality, they did not.

ZeeToo
Feb 20, 2008

I'm a kitty!
:siren: Round 18, Fight 3 :siren:



Hell's Dentists (13-4), the home team, is on the left side of the arena.
Madmartigan (gbuchold) is a male molemarian. He wields an iron pick and a wooden shield and wears an iron cap and leather gauntlets.
The Abominable Gladiator (Pickled Tink) is a female yeti. She is empty handed and wears a bronze cap, a copper mail shirt, a bronze mail shirt, copper gauntlets, and copper high boots.
In Like Flynn (grobbendonk) is a male dwarf. He wields an iron pick and a wooden shield and wears an iron helm, an iron mail shirt, a copper breast plate, iron greaves, iron gauntlets, and iron high boots.
Krog Bonesmasha (astus) is a male elf. He wields a copper war hammer and a wooden shield and wears an iron helm, leather armor, iron greaves, iron gauntlets, and iron high boots.

The Petting Zoo (11-6), the visiting team, is on the right side of the arena.
Antwoman (Spermy Smurf) is a female soldier ant woman. She wields a bronze large dagger, an iron large dagger, and a copper large dagger and wears an iron helm, a copper mail shirt, copper greaves, copper gauntlets, and copper low boots.
A Lost Cowman (Locomotive breath) is a male minotaur. He is empty handed and wears a bronze helm, leather armor, a steel mail shirt, copper greaves, iron gauntlets, and iron low boots.
Simon Belmole (Ablative) is a male molemarian. He wields a copper scourge and wears a copper helm, two copper mail shirts, copper gauntlets, and copper high boots.
Stephen Harper (ChickenWing) is a male serpent man. He wields a silver war hammer and a wooden shield and wears a copper cap, an iron mail shirt, leather gauntlets, and leather high boots.



Hell's Dentists is a 1.35 to 1 betting favorite in this match with 17766.00 dwarfbucks in total bets placed on them, compared to 13182.00 dwarfbucks for The Petting Zoo.

Yeah, I don't think this one is going to be all that close. But a certain Silverminnow seems to disagree with me. Oh, well, I'm sure this is going to vindicate me quickly. No one outdoes me on unwarranted confidence. Anyway, let's let the other two commissioners' gladiators massacre each other. I'm nominating Abominable to win it if they get a duel going.



The fighters are almost perfectly in lockstep. Flynn, anxious to get his potential regular-season kill-crown, starts us off, with a tremendously debilitating blow to Cowman: a bruise. Krog bruises Stephen. I guess they're ahead on points? Abominable gets in on it; she bruises Cowman, too.

Stephen isn't having any of this. His silver hammer comes down solidly on Flynn's foot. The dwarf isn't going to be standing the rest of the fight. But who needs to stand? Flynn's pick buries itself in Simon's lung, and the mole starts gasping. Again the pick strikes, and again the mole bleeds. A third time. Two legs mutilated, Simon falls to the ground. Stephen swings at the dwarf, too, and ribs break. Meanwhile, Abominable and Cowman trade punches, but nothing devastating at first, until Abominable's mighty punches turn one of the minotaur's hands into a mess that resembles a chunky tomato paste.



Antwoman retreats. Krog hammers Stephen. The snake is looking queasy. Madmartigan takes over for Abominable, shredding Cowman's leg as Abominable turns her attention to Belmole.



Dentistry happens; Madmartigan removes Cowman's teeth. Then Antwoman happens. She slips up and slides a dagger into Madmartigan's ribs, as she is wont to do. Krog caves in Stephen's shoulder. Stephen loses his weapon and his lunch. Well... if he can get his stomach under control, a bite could really turn things around in a hurry.

Cowman seems to have developed his leg muscles like whoa. Not just power, but control. His shin somehow grabs Madmartigan by the finger, and throws the mole to the floor. Antwoman takes a stab at Madmartigan's head, but it fails to kill. Cowman throws Madmartigan by the rat teeth.

Somehow, no one has died. In midair, Madmartigan demonstrates why not, blocking both Antwoman and Cowman with seemingly contemptuous ease, before he bounces off the ground, stunned by otherwise unharmed. These are both tough teams. Still, the grinding attrition of such warriors means death will still come. Krog shatters Stephen's rib cage, and the serpent coughs up blood as one lung is pierced in multiple places by bone shards. He tries to focus, but the world slips away.

He's down, but not the first casualty.



Antwoman's dagger instantly slays Flynn, a straight-up decapitating blow. Moments later, Krog crunches the serpent's head. It's three-on-three. Abominable and Belmole have been locked together for a while, Abominable trying all sorts of impressive wrestling moves but failing to seriously hurt the mole (wrestling is fake, kids).

Then Antwoman just walks up to Madmartigan and slices his head off. :stare: Keep that loving bug away from me.



Teeth rain down... and I know at least one escaped to the far north-east; I never did track that one down. Krog tries to flatten Belmole's head, but only gets an eye, and crushed juices from the blow squirt out all over. Then the mole bleeds to death. Krog pretends that was a killing blow.

It's two-on-two. Antwoman is off her game, as she caught a blow from Krog when I wasn't looking that has broken her abdomen. Cowman, of course, has his left limbs both mangled. Abominable is slightly bruised. Krog hasn't been hit. Abominable leads the way, charging to knock Antwoman back into Cowman while her dagger glances uselessly off of the yeti's 'armor' that is thick enough to be used for a battle tank.



Antwoman is stunned. Cowman forces himself to the front to give her a breather. It doesn't work. Abominable just overruns him by sheer weight, and Krog takes another smash at Antwoman, and again the tell-tale crack of chitin echoes. A second time. Two of her limbs are broken from that. Still, we've seen how instantly lethal she can be, and she's still on her feet. She shakes of her stunning, too. All she needs is one blow. One. perfect. openi--

--Abominable kidney-punches her, and even through chitin and copper, she feels it. And it's the last sensation she feels before she falls. Called it. :cool: Krog takes over from there, letting Antwoman suffer as his copper hammer comes around again and again as the two huge brawlers continue to go to town on each other. Abominable is winning. Antwoman is stomped flat by Krog.



The minotaur can't hope to prevail. Now that Krog is free, it takes only one more swing, and one more bone that crumbles in ways bones really aren't meant to, for Cowman to give up the fight. Krog fails to take the kill this time, so after a couple swings Abominable kills with a horrendously strong fist.


Kills
The Abominable Gladiator: 1
Krog Bonesmasha: 3
Antwoman: 2

Combat Log

ZeeToo fucked around with this message at 00:03 on May 31, 2016

Spermy Smurf
Jul 2, 2004
gently caress your first place kill-count, Flynn.

Good enough for me, we did better than I thought. Cowman and Belmole took a gently caress of a beating.

Splode
Jun 18, 2013

put some clothes on you little freak
What a great fight!

grobbendonk
Apr 22, 2008
Oh well, just happy we treated the petting zoo like the little bitches they were, beating them home and away

Ablative
Nov 9, 2012

Someone is getting this as an avatar. I don't know who, but it's gonna happen.
There go my dreams of closing the qualifiers with a 7-win streak.

Oh well. Not too torn up about it, honestly.

Since it's The Thing To Do lately, have Simon's build!

He has 69 points currently available to spend.

He has the following equipment.
Copper Scourge
Copper Helm
Copper Mail Shirt
Copper Mail Shirt
Copper Gauntlets
Copper High Boots

He has the following skills.
Level 5 Fighting (Proficient)
Level 4 Lash (Skilled)
Level 4 Dodging (Skilled)
Level 4 Armor (Skilled)

No, I couldn't really have done much to improve this. gently caress the Large Species Tax.

Spermy Smurf
Jul 2, 2004
We are in playoffs, dont post your build!

Ablative
Nov 9, 2012

Someone is getting this as an avatar. I don't know who, but it's gonna happen.

Spermy Smurf posted:

We are in playoffs, dont post your build!

You don't know, I could be lying.

AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007

SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?
Yam Slacker
There we have it: Flynn stumbles at the final hurdle, joined by the Abominable Gladiator, who needed a second kill here to unlock the coveted 'Everyone on double figures' achieve. Still, the team itself ends the regular season with a win to hammer home the Gemclod title and secure the longest winning streak still extant, though the Animists can join them.

The Dentists are the second team to claim 60 kills, and if the Animists get wiped out for a duck, they will also claim the highest kills scored.

If.

The Petting Zoo showed their teeth: Antwoman's brace earn her equal 4th place alongside Snarls Barkley and Dusseldwarf, though she and Snarls will drop back a rank if the leader of the all-dwarf team gets a kill.

The representatives of Gemclod, ladies and gentledwarves. Armok help any who meet them in the playoffs.

Jazzimus Prime
May 16, 2002

The Brothers Autobot
:siren: UPDATED PLAYOFF PICTURE :siren:

1st Seed: Subterranean Animists will have the top seed of the playoffs regardless of what happens in their match against Go Big.
2nd Seed: Hell's Dentists has the second seed based on win total.
3rd Seed: The Plump Helmets win the tiebreaker based on point differential to take the third seed.
4th Seed: Worse Munki is five points behind the Helmets and gets the fourth seed.
5th Seed: The Petting Zoo's two points in their loss was enough to give them the top wild-card seed over Two Chicks. Had they lost 4-0, the seeding would have been determined by a coin toss.
6th Seed: Two Chicks With Dicks finishes just two points behind the Zoo based on the tiebreaker.
7th and 8th Seed: Go big and/or go home and Team Laser Explosion, but not necessarily in that order. Go Big gets the 7th seed with a win in their final match, or the 8th seed with a loss.


So the opening round will look like this:

Subterranean Animists vs. 8th seed (either Go Big or Laser Explosion)
Worse Munki vs. The Petting Zoo
The Plump Helmets vs. Two Chicks with Dicks
Hell's Dentists vs. 7th seed (either Laser Explosion or Go Big)


Note that this means that last round's victory by Lightly Whipped over Go Big puts Go Big in an unenviable position. Although they are in the playoffs, if they lose their match this round to the Subterranean Animists, that means they will have to face a team in the first round of the playoffs which has already beaten them twice!

PotatoManJack
Nov 9, 2009
I have faith in Go Big

I think we'd have done much better in thee season if we could just stop charging into / attacking each other, and nothing brings a team together like the playoffs!

SSJ_naruto_2003
Oct 12, 2012



Ha. At least we played spoiler.

Spermy Smurf
Jul 2, 2004
We beat Chaz and the no-names once before, we will do it again.

Ramc
May 4, 2008

Bringing your thread to a screeching halt, guaranteed.

I trust there will be a bit of a longer period to spend points before the playoffs?

Jazzimus Prime
May 16, 2002

The Brothers Autobot

Ramc posted:

I trust there will be a bit of a longer period to spend points before the playoffs?

I'd be okay with giving five days to a week before starting the playoffs.

Also, I'd like to hold a vote:

:siren: SHOULD THE PLAYOFFS BE SINGLE ELIMINATION OR DOUBLE ELIMINATION? :siren:

Single elimination would require eight matches (four quarterfinals, two semifinals, one final, one 3rd place match).

Double elimination would require 15 or 16 matches if I recall correctly.

I ask this because I kind of feel like a season this long deserves a longer than one-and-done postseason, and I haven't set up the site for other options (such as best 2 of 3) yet.

Ablative
Nov 9, 2012

Someone is getting this as an avatar. I don't know who, but it's gonna happen.

Jazzimus Prime posted:

I'd be okay with giving five days to a week before starting the playoffs.

Also, I'd like to hold a vote:

:siren: SHOULD THE PLAYOFFS BE SINGLE ELIMINATION OR DOUBLE ELIMINATION? :siren:

Single elimination would require eight matches (four quarterfinals, two semifinals, one final, one 3rd place match).

Double elimination would require 15 or 16 matches if I recall correctly.

I ask this because I kind of feel like a season this long deserves a longer than one-and-done postseason, and I haven't set up the site for other options (such as best 2 of 3) yet.

I'll vote double.

Draw this poo poo out as loooooong as loving possible.

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Bad Munki
Nov 4, 2008

We're all mad here.


Single. Y'all had your chance, now it's time for the good ol' days of tough love and butthurt over fluke fights.

Also, more time to spend points means more chances to get drunk and make horrible decisions. Honestly can't say whether I think that's a pro or a con.

In any event, I'm going to continue putting all my money on CRAP. I figure with them being knocked out, I can't do any worse than I did in the preseason.

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