Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Post
  • Reply
criscodisco
Feb 18, 2004

do it

Big Mean Jerk posted:

Wasn't there some colonist chick who had the hots for Data?

Yeah but they just kissed. I liked her the best because she was obsessed with androids and when it showed her house it was filled with android prototypes she had built, but they were all cheesy, like steel buckets with eyes made from bolts and washers.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

happyhippy
Feb 21, 2005

Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup
Pillbug

Nefarious 2.0 posted:

could data cum? he said he was fully functional. does that include cum synthesis or does he have a reservoir that he had to refill?

This implies Dr Noonian Soong sitting at a workbench testing a robotic penis ejaculating over and over again.
He would sometimes look down at his own penis, and mutter 'Needs more Torque, and less salt.'

VectorSigma
Jan 20, 2004

Transform
and
Freak Out



no. just stop now.

Fat Shat Sings
Jan 24, 2016
Data did date some other crew member and she was trying to make it work and eventually she felt bad and shot data down saying that he wasn't capable of being in a relationship because he was basically re-enacting actions out of a book at her, Data was all monotone like "Your argument has sound logic." with a blank stare.

Still less cringe inducing than Geordi, and at least Data got a date.

Endless Trash
Aug 12, 2007


happyhippy posted:

This implies Dr Noonian Soong sitting at a workbench testing a robotic penis ejaculating over and over again.
He would sometimes look down at his own penis, and mutter 'Needs more Torque, and less salt.'

I seriously doubt that Data's penis ejaculates a simulacrum of jizz created by a protein powder mixed with water gathered from air condensation.

CHICKEN SHOES
Oct 4, 2002
Slippery Tilde
loving hell Data is a damned robot so I'll give him benefit of the doubt for being a weirdo.


Geordi is just a loving straight up weirdo with no god drat excuse.

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

This 📆 post brought to you by RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS👥.
RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS 👥 - It's for your phone📲TM™ #ad📢

Hes an engineer

CHICKEN SHOES
Oct 4, 2002
Slippery Tilde

oldpainless posted:

Hes an engineer

touché

criscodisco
Feb 18, 2004

do it

happyhippy posted:

This implies Dr Noonian Soong sitting at a workbench testing a robotic penis ejaculating over and over again.
He would sometimes look down at his own penis, and mutter 'Needs more Torque, and less salt.'

Well he was no scientist of he didn't make sure it feels good in your throat.

I wonder if Data has a robo-prostate.

rocket_man38
Jan 23, 2006

My life is a barrel o' fun!!

Hillary Clintons Thong posted:

loving hell Data is a damned robot so I'll give him benefit of the doubt for being a weirdo.


Geordi is just a loving straight up weirdo with no god drat excuse.

https://youtu.be/OVPEMu-5q78

whoflungpoop
Sep 9, 2004

With you and the constellations
geordi, at the entrance to every vagina

Germstore
Oct 17, 2012

A Serious Candidate For a Serious Time
Maybe data has a small replicator for disintegrating food if he needs to pretend to eat and for replicating semen and maybe urine depending on how weird the situation gets.

happyhippy
Feb 21, 2005

Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup
Pillbug

oldpainless posted:

Hes an engineer

Wonder how many times he has just stared at the warp core and thought he could take all the bitches and alphas males with him any time he wanted.

shadow puppet of a
Jan 10, 2007

NO TENGO SCORPIO


The whites of Data's eye served double duty as retinal simulators and prostate reservoirs. When he'd cum, his eyes would roll back in his head to tip out a loving spoonful which would slide down his spine and shoot out onto Yar.

CHICKEN SHOES
Oct 4, 2002
Slippery Tilde
I always laugh when I remember Yar was killed by a guy wearing a trashbag



this is pretty good

criscodisco
Feb 18, 2004

do it

Germstore posted:

Maybe data has a small replicator for disintegrating food if he needs to pretend to eat and for replicating semen and maybe urine depending on how weird the situation gets.

If Kirk can have a pocket replicator that just makes marshmallows, Data can have a donger that makes a healthy batch of jizz.

I wonder if he makes it taste salty in his quest to be more authentically human, or if he can do flavors like Pina Colada and wedding cake.

whoflungpoop
Sep 9, 2004

With you and the constellations
'women love equality' - some guy in the 80s


Big Mean Jerk
Jan 27, 2009

Well, of course I know him.
He's me.

whoflungpoop posted:

geordi, at the entrance to every vagina


Fat Shat Sings
Jan 24, 2016

whoflungpoop posted:

'women love equality' - some guy in the 80s




quote:

The Enterprise arrives at the planet Angel One, where its native population is run as an oligarchy, with women in the dominant position of power.

Beata reveals that they are aware of four male survivors of the Odin who have caused disruption in their society, and are considered fugitives. Beata requests Riker stay with her (and later requests that he orders Troy, Data, and Yar to track down the survivors' camp and their leader Ramsey (Sam Hennings), while he stay and dine with her). After some back and forth the Data concludes Ramsey and the survivors of the Odin would have Platinum with them, and Angel One is naturally devoid of Platinum, allowing the Enterprise to easily detect them. Meanwhile, Riker dresses in the garb given to him for his dinner with Beata, Troy and Yar taunt him for dressing in cloths that sexualize him and in some ways demean him, and he is only doing it to win favor with Beata. He responds by saying he is honoring the local customs, and acknowledges Beata's beauty, and that the garb is rather comfortable.

rocket_man38
Jan 23, 2006

My life is a barrel o' fun!!
So every major system and subsystem failed at one point on Voyager, except the nacelle lifting mechanisms. You would think those would break pretty loving easily.

criscodisco
Feb 18, 2004

do it

whoflungpoop posted:

'women love equality' - some guy in the 80s




The best part of the Angel One episode is that the writers (or director) heard oligarchy and thought that it meant all the women in charge should look like statuesque Marky Posts and the men should be tiny mincing little things that were gayer than old Paree and were spreading perfume on themselves with those Zha zha Gabor perfume bottle with the atomizer bulb.

shadow puppet of a
Jan 10, 2007

NO TENGO SCORPIO


criscodisco posted:

all women should look like statuesque Marky Posts

Nefarious 2.0
Apr 22, 2008

Offense is overrated anyway.

shadow puppet of a posted:

The whites of Data's eye served double duty as retinal simulators and prostate reservoirs. When he'd cum, his eyes would roll back in his head to tip out a loving spoonful which would slide down his spine and shoot out onto Yar.

god i'm so close

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec

Nefarious 2.0
Apr 22, 2008

Offense is overrated anyway.

beverly crusher is the platonic ideal of a milf

Professor Shark
May 22, 2012

Automatic Slim posted:

They did an episode on that. Basically, Janeway found a list of 4 slackers who had never been on an away mission and insisted she lead them on one herself. She got them all killed IIRC.

No loving way lol

whoflungpoop
Sep 9, 2004

With you and the constellations
no she got them all back safely unfortunately but they should have died they were all losers

Crowsbeak
Oct 9, 2012

by Azathoth
Lipstick Apathy
Doesn'tone of them turn out to be on your team in Elite Force though?

whoflungpoop
Sep 9, 2004

With you and the constellations
dr crusher almost 70 and still really pretty

shadow puppet of a
Jan 10, 2007

NO TENGO SCORPIO


Can someone tally up her gently caress list and confirm that Janeway only hosed whites or saw whites as being acceptable to romance?

There was her original dog-sitter guy back home
The erudite psychic-hunter space Stasi guy
There was Tom Paris in Axolotl form.
There was fabric-gifting planet generosity guy.
Q who she only turned down for reasons of pride and not attraction.
English single dad Victorian landed Lord holodeck guy.
Irish (technically white then though not back in-era) barkeeper holodeck guy

My working theory is that she was a racist and Chakotay never had a chance while stuck with her, making bathtubs and being lovelorn on science quarantine planet.

shadow puppet of a fucked around with this message at 23:31 on Jun 3, 2016

whoflungpoop
Sep 9, 2004

With you and the constellations
as a bathlover i cannot conscience not loving a man who built me a bathtub

whoflungpoop
Sep 9, 2004

With you and the constellations
i think she wanted his dilz tho but janeway never wanted to do anything that might make her happy bc she had a deathboner the size of alaska

criscodisco
Feb 18, 2004

do it
If he was smart he'd have built the tub large enough for two.

Did native Americans get circumcision, like with a rock or a hot stick or have a deer bite it off or something? I just want to imagine his dilz as realistically as possible.

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

this is me posting irl

whoflungpoop posted:

'women love equality' - some guy in the 80s




gene roddenberry once said "yes, we use women as sex objects. we also use men as sex objects. i've been used as a sex object myself, it's great fun."

whoflungpoop
Sep 9, 2004

With you and the constellations
Janeway is my unironic favorite starship captain every time she told some hostile alien "I'LL DESTROY THIS SHIP BEFORE I LET YOU _____" I was like yes, yesssss :getin:

shadow puppet of a
Jan 10, 2007

NO TENGO SCORPIO


Starship captaining is an easy as gently caress job when you can always fight or flee.

Space station captaining, where your only available retorts to threats are "i'll hide in the utility tunnels and force you to pick us off one by one" or "by all means come aboard and gently caress poo poo up on my promenade, I'm legally powerless to stop you" are the real test of starfleet academy mettle.

whoflungpoop
Sep 9, 2004

With you and the constellations
Kirk was :jerkbag: Picard was a stuffy old fart Sisko was just boring but Janeway was the realest n-word around shes like yeah im living a nightmare, out in nowhere and slowly losing my loving mind but i'll keep poo poo rolling or die trying maybe ill threaten to execute another starfleet officer or raid borg cubes for spare parts now and then but we'll get home some way just deal w it bitches

criscodisco
Feb 18, 2004

do it

shadow puppet of a posted:

Starship captaining is an easy as gently caress job when you can always fight or flee.

Space station captaining, where your only available retorts to threats are "i'll hide in the utility tunnels and force you to pick us off one by one" or "by all means come aboard and gently caress poo poo up on my promenade, I'm legally powerless to stop you" are the real test of starfleet academy mettle.

Plus every once in a while a sexy lady pretending to be the devil will teleport into your quarters with her hair all teased out and try to sex you up.

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec
It's a shame Dr. Boyce's portable martini kit never made it past the pilot.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

etalian
Mar 20, 2006

Nefarious 2.0 posted:

beverly crusher is the platonic ideal of a milf

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply