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Big Mean Jerk posted:Wasn't there some colonist chick who had the hots for Data? Yeah but they just kissed. I liked her the best because she was obsessed with androids and when it showed her house it was filled with android prototypes she had built, but they were all cheesy, like steel buckets with eyes made from bolts and washers.
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Jun 3, 2016 21:39
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Nefarious 2.0 posted:could data cum? he said he was fully functional. does that include cum synthesis or does he have a reservoir that he had to refill? This implies Dr Noonian Soong sitting at a workbench testing a robotic penis ejaculating over and over again. He would sometimes look down at his own penis, and mutter 'Needs more Torque, and less salt.'
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Jun 3, 2016 21:42
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no. just stop now.
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Jun 3, 2016 21:45
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Data did date some other crew member and she was trying to make it work and eventually she felt bad and shot data down saying that he wasn't capable of being in a relationship because he was basically re-enacting actions out of a book at her, Data was all monotone like "Your argument has sound logic." with a blank stare. Still less cringe inducing than Geordi, and at least Data got a date.
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Jun 3, 2016 21:46
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happyhippy posted:This implies Dr Noonian Soong sitting at a workbench testing a robotic penis ejaculating over and over again. I seriously doubt that Data's penis ejaculates a simulacrum of jizz created by a protein powder mixed with water gathered from air condensation.
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Jun 3, 2016 21:48
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loving hell Data is a damned robot so I'll give him benefit of the doubt for being a weirdo. Geordi is just a loving straight up weirdo with no god drat excuse.
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Jun 3, 2016 21:48
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Hes an engineer
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Jun 3, 2016 21:51
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oldpainless posted:Hes an engineer touché
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Jun 3, 2016 21:53
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happyhippy posted:This implies Dr Noonian Soong sitting at a workbench testing a robotic penis ejaculating over and over again. Well he was no scientist of he didn't make sure it feels good in your throat. I wonder if Data has a robo-prostate.
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Jun 3, 2016 21:54
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Hillary Clintons Thong posted:loving hell Data is a damned robot so I'll give him benefit of the doubt for being a weirdo. https://youtu.be/OVPEMu-5q78
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Jun 3, 2016 21:54
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geordi, at the entrance to every vagina
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Jun 3, 2016 21:56
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Maybe data has a small replicator for disintegrating food if he needs to pretend to eat and for replicating semen and maybe urine depending on how weird the situation gets.
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Jun 3, 2016 21:56
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oldpainless posted:Hes an engineer Wonder how many times he has just stared at the warp core and thought he could take all the bitches and alphas males with him any time he wanted.
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Jun 3, 2016 21:58
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The whites of Data's eye served double duty as retinal simulators and prostate reservoirs. When he'd cum, his eyes would roll back in his head to tip out a loving spoonful which would slide down his spine and shoot out onto Yar.
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Jun 3, 2016 21:59
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I always laugh when I remember Yar was killed by a guy wearing a trashbag this is pretty good
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Jun 3, 2016 22:01
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Germstore posted:Maybe data has a small replicator for disintegrating food if he needs to pretend to eat and for replicating semen and maybe urine depending on how weird the situation gets. If Kirk can have a pocket replicator that just makes marshmallows, Data can have a donger that makes a healthy batch of jizz. I wonder if he makes it taste salty in his quest to be more authentically human, or if he can do flavors like Pina Colada and wedding cake.
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Jun 3, 2016 22:04
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'women love equality' - some guy in the 80s  
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Jun 3, 2016 22:11
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whoflungpoop posted:geordi, at the entrance to every vagina
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Jun 3, 2016 22:16
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whoflungpoop posted:'women love equality' - some guy in the 80s quote:The Enterprise arrives at the planet Angel One, where its native population is run as an oligarchy, with women in the dominant position of power.
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Jun 3, 2016 22:24
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So every major system and subsystem failed at one point on Voyager, except the nacelle lifting mechanisms. You would think those would break pretty loving easily.
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Jun 3, 2016 22:25
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whoflungpoop posted:'women love equality' - some guy in the 80s The best part of the Angel One episode is that the writers (or director) heard oligarchy and thought that it meant all the women in charge should look like statuesque Marky Posts and the men should be tiny mincing little things that were gayer than old Paree and were spreading perfume on themselves with those Zha zha Gabor perfume bottle with the atomizer bulb.
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Jun 3, 2016 22:40
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criscodisco posted:all women should look like statuesque Marky Posts
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Jun 3, 2016 22:43
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shadow puppet of a posted:The whites of Data's eye served double duty as retinal simulators and prostate reservoirs. When he'd cum, his eyes would roll back in his head to tip out a loving spoonful which would slide down his spine and shoot out onto Yar. god i'm so close
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Jun 3, 2016 22:44
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Jun 3, 2016 22:45
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beverly crusher is the platonic ideal of a milf
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Jun 3, 2016 22:47
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Automatic Slim posted:They did an episode on that. Basically, Janeway found a list of 4 slackers who had never been on an away mission and insisted she lead them on one herself. She got them all killed IIRC. No loving way lol
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Jun 3, 2016 23:17
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no she got them all back safely unfortunately but they should have died they were all losers
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Jun 3, 2016 23:20
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Doesn'tone of them turn out to be on your team in Elite Force though?
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Jun 3, 2016 23:23
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dr crusher almost 70 and still really pretty 
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Jun 3, 2016 23:27
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Can someone tally up her gently caress list and confirm that Janeway only hosed whites or saw whites as being acceptable to romance? There was her original dog-sitter guy back home The erudite psychic-hunter space Stasi guy There was Tom Paris in Axolotl form. There was fabric-gifting planet generosity guy. Q who she only turned down for reasons of pride and not attraction. English single dad Victorian landed Lord holodeck guy. Irish (technically white then though not back in-era) barkeeper holodeck guy My working theory is that she was a racist and Chakotay never had a chance while stuck with her, making bathtubs and being lovelorn on science quarantine planet. shadow puppet of a fucked around with this message at 23:31 on Jun 3, 2016 |
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Jun 3, 2016 23:28
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as a bathlover i cannot conscience not loving a man who built me a bathtub
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Jun 3, 2016 23:29
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i think she wanted his dilz tho but janeway never wanted to do anything that might make her happy bc she had a deathboner the size of alaska
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Jun 3, 2016 23:31
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If he was smart he'd have built the tub large enough for two. Did native Americans get circumcision, like with a rock or a hot stick or have a deer bite it off or something? I just want to imagine his dilz as realistically as possible.
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Jun 3, 2016 23:35
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whoflungpoop posted:'women love equality' - some guy in the 80s gene roddenberry once said "yes, we use women as sex objects. we also use men as sex objects. i've been used as a sex object myself, it's great fun."
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Jun 3, 2016 23:36
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Janeway is my unironic favorite starship captain every time she told some hostile alien "I'LL DESTROY THIS SHIP BEFORE I LET YOU _____" I was like yes, yesssss 
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Jun 3, 2016 23:37
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Starship captaining is an easy as gently caress job when you can always fight or flee. Space station captaining, where your only available retorts to threats are "i'll hide in the utility tunnels and force you to pick us off one by one" or "by all means come aboard and gently caress poo poo up on my promenade, I'm legally powerless to stop you" are the real test of starfleet academy mettle.
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Jun 3, 2016 23:40
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Kirk was  Picard was a stuffy old fart Sisko was just boring but Janeway was the realest n-word around shes like yeah im living a nightmare, out in nowhere and slowly losing my loving mind but i'll keep poo poo rolling or die trying maybe ill threaten to execute another starfleet officer or raid borg cubes for spare parts now and then but we'll get home some way just deal w it bitches
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Jun 3, 2016 23:44
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shadow puppet of a posted:Starship captaining is an easy as gently caress job when you can always fight or flee. Plus every once in a while a sexy lady pretending to be the devil will teleport into your quarters with her hair all teased out and try to sex you up.
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Jun 3, 2016 23:45
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It's a shame Dr. Boyce's portable martini kit never made it past the pilot.
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Jun 4, 2016 01:58
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Nefarious 2.0 posted:beverly crusher is the platonic ideal of a milf
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