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 Random fight that may not even mean anything if Dasmouse comes back in a few hours  Bad Munki picks his target. The ugly Ghost Trees blocks the arrow and charges toward Jameson.  On the left Jimbo and Apelminator square off, neither doing poo poo through the first volley. Up from that is Urist and Knife Toseeu who has a god drat wooden dagger. Seriously. Urist takes a superficial slash on the hand right off. Knife Toseeu takes a few bruises. Top right we have Ghost Trees charging in range of Jameson. Bad idea. Jamesons huge sword shatters ribs, opens arteries, and generally fucks things up. On the right side we have Rob Ford standing uselessly. Bottom right we have Goku stunning Min/Max with a charge. It looks like Jupis is going to join and make that a three way battle. Min/Max: The battle rages... I feel no terror. Bottom left is Albrik and ShortName who parry each others opening blows. If I had to guess, the elf Sun Tzu will join that group. He's severely outmatched there (anywhere really) so that should be fun to watch.  Jameson removes one of Ghost-Trees arms and Rob Ford arrives in the battle. Down south Albrik takes out ShortNames teeth. Up top Urist punches Knife Toseeu's first right hand which explodes into pieces.  gently caress me, it's 2v1 and Jameson is still ruining poo poo up top right. Jameson knocks teeth out of Rob Ford, deflects a blow, and then is sent to the floor by Rob Fords charge. Sun Tzu welcomes himself to the 3-way in the bottom left and kicks ShortName in the chest so hard it bruises his lungs. Jimbo is bruising Apeliminator on the left and Urist is breaking bones and bruising bones on Knife Toseeu just above that. Bottom right is Goku one-punching Min/Max and sending the minotaur unconscious.  Rob Ford misses a single parry and Jameson removes his foot. Rob Ford is floored. Notice how Ghost-Trees arm or foot or whatever has skipped like a rock on water down past Bad Munki in the middle? Neat! Bottom left is Albrik nearly-severing Sun Tzu's left hand. ShortName gets his tongue punched to pieces by the elf, then finishes removing his hand for him. That was nice.  ShortName sends Sun Tzu to the floor with a speared leg, Albrik removes his leg, and then Albrik splits his head in two. Up top Apeliminator bites Jimbos head and receives a broken arm for his troubles. Urist and Knife Toseeu trade bruises and superficial cuts thanks to the wooden dagger. Rob Ford watches as Jameson removes one of Ghost-Trees legs and decides to do the same to the human. Everyone is grounded in the top-right grouping. The blazing idiots down bottom right can't do jack poo poo to Min/Max even though he's laying perfectly still. Keru, you made an unblooded gladiator, entered him into the brawl, and died first without doing jack poo poo.  Ramc, sorry to steal this from you, but Keru needs it more. Wear it with pride, Keru.  Ghost Trees can't stop blows from two huge swords and Jamesons sword slips through to remove his head. Jimbo and Apeliminator trade more bruises. The copper pick has no real damage potential through Jimbos armor. Jimbo finally cracks another arm-bone.  Bad Munki has fired a few other arrows that didn't even land in the logs. Now that Ghost-Trees is dead he zeros in on another target. Any guesses? Yep, he fires at Jimbo.  The arrow flies true, smashing Jimbos femur to pieces. Bad Munki just ruined Bad Munki's day.  Jameson pulls on his sword that is still stuck in Ghost-Trees' corpse when out of nowhere Rob Fords sword swings through the space where his head used to be.  Apeliminator begins hammering away at Jimbos iron cap. A few blows pass before it crumples and Jimbo is gone. Urist went down to a dagger in his right eye, so Knife Toseeu is working on killing him with the wooden dagger.  Bad Munki fires another arrow, this time at Apeliminator. Apeliminator buries his pick in Urist's spine.  Boom, Apeliminator passes out from the pain. Bad Munki's aim is on point today.  Knife Toseeu finds a soft spot... it's Urist's stomach. The strangler saws the knife back and forth, nearly cutting Urist in two. And now there are nine fighters left. Two unconscious, so seven ablebodied fighters.  Goku's hands must be hurting because it took him this long to punch through Min/Max's helmet and skull. Bad Munki is desperately reloading, eying the huge minotaur crawling toward him.  Haha, Bad Munki picked a hell of a time to play hero. If he had done this in the tournament it would have been a different playoff bracket! Apeliminators head is finally cut into by Knife Toseeu and that ridiculous oak dagger. ShortName and Albrik are still mauling each other. Both have a bunch of wounds. I havent been keeping up with that one but I'll show you the wounds of the victor in a bit. Jupis attacks Goku, brusing the tiger.  Goku punches him into unconsciousness and strangles him to death in less than one minute.  Bad Munki gets a lucky break with Knife Toseeu going after the downed Rob Ford instead of him. Goku moves south to join the deadly fighters in their battle.  Three, four, five arrows are placed lovingly inside of Rob Ford by Bad Munki. Albrik is thrown by Goku across three tiles and the kobold smashes into the wall. He lay there stunned, unmoving for a while.  Goku charges toward Albrik, but Albrik is recovered enough to slash Goku's arm to poo poo. Goku passes out from pain. A few spear and axe slashes ends with ShortName's spear enging his life. Rob Fords copper helmet is winning the fight against Knife Toseeu and that dagger.  Albrik shakes off the stunned flag when ShortNames spear is in his neck. Hell of a time to come to your senses... ShortName spears him again and the kobold passes out from pain. The spear gets another kill.  The bottom yellow is my writing. ShortName charges north, reaches Bad Munki, immediately takes an arrow to the leg, and passes out since we're about 24hrs into the fight right now.  ShortName catches his breath and stands up. Bad Munki dodges backwards, letting ShortName join Knife Toseeu in stabbing Rob Ford.  Bad Munki puts 2 arrows into ShortName before Rob Ford dies to blood loss with Knife Toseeu getting the last attack and therefore the kill.  Knife Toseeu attacks ShortName, then dodges his counterattack and ends up right next to Bad Munki. Bad Munki puts an arrow into the stranglers arm, and Knife Toseeu passes out.  ShortName ends Knife Toseeu, then moves against the deadly archer. Bad Munki dodges back one square, reloads and fires.  ShortNames spear drops from his useless hand. ShortName just got a lot less deadly...  The arrows come one after the other, Bad Munki dodging in a complete circle.  ShortName can't keep up with the smaller kobold and passes out after getting another arrow to the arm.  Another pair of arrows land in the comotose moleman. Will he heal up and wake back up since Bad Munki is now out of arrows? The kobold slings his bow over his shoulder and moves to do... something. Another six hours pass. ShortName never wakes up, and Bad Munki doesn't stop smashing him.  In the end it's the multiple arrows in ShortNames lungs that did him in. His lungs collapses and he suffocated.  Our champion stands covered in sweat, tired, but completely unhurt. Congrats to Coward and his fighter Bad Munki. Combat Log Edit1: Now that I'm thinking about it, did Sun Tzulanders initial kick to ShortName's lungs actually change the end of that fight? Edit2: No, no it didn't. Two arrows went through his chest and spine, paralyzing ShortName and he couldn't breathe with no lungs that didn't have holes in them. Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 15:55 on Jun 3, 2016 |
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Jun 3, 2016 15:43
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| # ? May 9, 2024 23:41 |
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what the gently caress
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Jun 3, 2016 15:49
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How many levels of markskobold did he gain that fight?
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Jun 3, 2016 15:57
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goatface posted:How many levels of markskobold did he gain that fight?  None, he was already Grandmaster archer, Adept Bowman, and Skilled dodger. He did gain some observer, fighter, swordsman (from using his bow as a sword at the end), kicker/striker too.
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Jun 3, 2016 15:59
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I died as I lived. Completely unmoving and worthless.
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Jun 3, 2016 15:59
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That wooden dagger was the best investment ever
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Jun 3, 2016 15:59
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Owned By which I mean, I was owned.
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Jun 3, 2016 16:08
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Ahahahaha, the best possible result. Also, ZeeToo, I still argue that your fighter is one nasty piece of work. 
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Jun 3, 2016 16:14
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It figures that Goku's only use was punching his own teammate the gently caress out. Admittedly he strangled someone to death a bit after that.
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Jun 3, 2016 16:41
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Someone run the politician-punch-out. Trump, Stephen Harper, Rob Ford and Goku in a brutal fight to the death.
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Jun 3, 2016 16:47
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The Bowbold Turret is super effective.
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Jun 3, 2016 16:57
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Galick posted:It figures that Goku's only use was punching his own teammate the gently caress out. Admittedly he strangled someone to death a bit after that. he also played spoiler like a big jerk
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Jun 3, 2016 18:34
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Spermy Smurf posted:
Coward has now been given ownership of the fighter Anthony after I didn't hear back from dasmause.
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Jun 3, 2016 20:35
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That was glorious
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Jun 4, 2016 00:45
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Spermy Smurf posted:Congrats to Coward and his fighter Bad Munki.  Jazzimus Prime posted:Coward has now been given ownership of the fighter Anthony after I didn't hear back from dasmause. Er... Right. I'll just sell everything and get two whips. Surely that'll work this time. Edit: give us a bit just to let my team mates talk me into something more sensible. like three whips. Coward fucked around with this message at 01:13 on Jun 4, 2016 |
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Jun 4, 2016 00:57
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Spermy Smurf posted:Congrats to Coward and his fighter Bad Munki. 
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Jun 4, 2016 02:55
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my dad posted:Ahahahaha, the best possible result. I'd agree. The circumstances of the tournament were such that not every fighter ended up on a team that played to their strengths and pure chance took its own toll... but I was very pleased with how sn performed, all things considered. It wasn't bad for me half-drunkenly deciding "moles can shrug off a lot of bashing, give one a spear and a lot of armor to stop blades" and just sticking to the theme forever. Luckily, I enjoy trying weird poo poo more than winning. I'm already considering what to try next.
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Jun 4, 2016 03:46
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I'm surprised Urist stayed alive and did as much damage as he did. On the other hand... wooden dagger? "Urist, you piece of crap!" says I who created him...
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Jun 4, 2016 04:06
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Wow, what a result. 10/10
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Jun 4, 2016 04:26
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Nice job Apeliminator, you got a kill.
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Jun 4, 2016 05:43
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I'll be posting the first losers bracket fight in the next 24 hours or so. Here is a spoiler image to tide you over until then:
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Jun 4, 2016 06:43
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Pickled Tink posted:I'll be posting the first losers bracket fight in the next 24 hours or so. Here is a spoiler image to tide you over until then: Since the loser's bracket is a bonus that Pickled Tink is providing for the readers (there were originally no plans for teams that didn't make the playoffs even to have a postseason), Tink has free rein to run these fights however he likes. And... I think that the fighting arena in the picture is a platform above a sea of magma, or perhaps blood, or maybe just bauxite (or cinnabar?) Rest assured that regardless, there are plenty of safe seats for the fans in attendance, almost all of them with great views of the arena, just outside of the screenshot.
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Jun 4, 2016 08:27
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It's good to have goals!
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Jun 4, 2016 09:48
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I believe Anthony is good to go now.
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Jun 4, 2016 15:28
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I think we are all updated. Someone else double check for me but it looks like all points have been spent. Zeetoo, you want to run mine again? Tinkled, you want any of the main event or you gonna focus on the losers bracket? Will unlock the tournament sometime morning eastern time if we good to go.
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Jun 6, 2016 01:22
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If there's a next season I should build a wooden dagger fighter given its performance here
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Jun 6, 2016 01:33
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SynthOrange posted:If there's a next season I should build a wooden dagger fighter given its performance here You know that antwomen can hold 4 daggers right? Just sayin. Do weapons ever break? I imagine a yeti thrusting a wooden dagger at a steel breastplate would likely snap unless its some Karsa ironwood or whatever.
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Jun 6, 2016 02:31
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Spermy Smurf posted:You know that antwomen can hold 4 daggers right? Just sayin. They don't break - they probably should, but can you imagine the annoyance in fortress mode?
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Jun 6, 2016 12:27
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Everyone is updated. Locking the round and running Animists and Go Big in just a few minutes.
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Jun 6, 2016 13:05
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Round 1, Fight 1 Subterranean Animists (16-2) is on the left side of the arena. Braun Strowman (Frozen_Flame) is a female soldier ant woman. She wields two copper short swords, a steel short sword, and an iron short sword and wears an iron helm, leather armor, an adamantine mail shirt, and iron gauntlets. Baldwin (captaindirtnap) is a male dwarf. He wields an iron spear and a wooden shield and wears an iron helm, leather armor, an iron mail shirt, leather leggings, iron gauntlets, and steel low boots. Qwarf (C7ty1) is a male dwarf. He wields an iron spear and a wooden shield and wears an adamantine helm, an iron mail shirt, an iron breast plate, iron greaves, and steel gauntlets. Dusseldwarf (decoy badger) is a female dwarf. She wields a steel spear and a wooden shield and wears an iron helm, a steel mail shirt, iron leggings, iron gauntlets, and iron low boots. Go big and/or go home (9-9) is on the right side of the arena. Snowshank Redemption (A good poster) is a male yeti. He wields a bronze large dagger and wears a copper helm, an iron mail shirt, a copper mail shirt, an iron breast plate, copper greaves, copper gauntlets, and copper high boots. Tyler Durden is Hobbes (habituallyred) is a male tigerman. He is empty handed and wears an iron helm, leather armor, an adamantine mail shirt, iron gauntlets, and iron high boots. 3 Wolf Moon Shirt (iLonie) is a male werewolf. He wields an iron two-handed sword and wears an iron helm, an iron mail shirt, an iron breast plate, leather leggings, leather gauntlets, and leather high boots. Slam Whale Willy (potatomanjack) is a male werewolf. He wields a silver mace and a wooden buckler and wears an iron cap, a copper mail shirt, an iron breast plate, iron greaves, copper gauntlets, and iron high boots.  Subterranean Animists is a 4.45 to 1 betting favorite in this match with 29838.00 dwarfbucks in total bets placed on them, compared to 6706.00 dwarfbucks for Go big and/or go home.  It looks like the Animists split themselves in two different directions with their points. Two upgraded weapons, two upgraded armor. Go Big looks like they upgraded some armor on one gladiator and then probably skill for the others? I'm not snooping the site to find out, but I don't see a lot of steel on them so it has to be skill.  The Animists arrive in a line and get a 4v3 advantage for about fifteen seconds while Snowshank lumbers toward the brawl.  The advantage doesn't help Braun Strowman who gets an arm crushed by Hobbes initial blow. Whats this? A steel sword clangs to the floor. There goes 800 points that never even got used...  Qwarf stabs Hobbes in the hand, shattering it although the gauntlet holds. 3 Wolf Moon's sword bounces off of Dusseldorfs foot, causing a mild skin bruise. For some unknown reason this enrages Dusseldorf.  Hobbes uses his left hand to punch another of Braun Strowmans arms to paste, and a copper sword hits the floor. 3 Wolf Moon's sword clangs from Dusseldorfs helmet. And now Snowshank arrives, making it a 4v4 for realsies. Snowshanks dagger cracks Brauns chitin, and bruises guts. Hobbes shatters another arm of the poor antwoman, and Braun is enraged.  Hobbes swings that giant mitt into Braun's head and the antwoman is struck down. It's now 4v3 in favor of Go Big.  Hobbes and Snowshank flank Baldwin while Dusseldorf squares off with 3 Wolf Moon down below. I haven't mentioned either werewolf because they haven't really done anything. Their weapons bounce off of armor, and so does Dusseldorfs iron spear.  Hobbes strategy this round seems to be paying huge dividends. That strategy is no fear, no pain, no brains. He charges Baldwin, sending the dwarf sprawling to the floor stunned. Hobbes punches Baldwins kidney which bruises painfully. 3 Wolf Moon swings his sword at Dusseldorf who dodges backward. The werewolf spins on his heel and slashes Baldwin, bruising the other kidney and guts. Baldwin looks sick!  3 Wolf Moon stabs Baldwin's upper arm off and then has to turn to focus on Dusseldorf who came back into range. Hobbes huge left hand comes down in a haymaker and Baldwins other hand is shattered. Baldwins spear drops, but he is smart enough to duck the incoming charge. Hobbes flies right over him and slams into Slam Whale Willy who is sent sprawling and stunned.  Snowshank arrives, late to the party per usual, and slashes off Baldwins left leg just below the knee. Qwarf leans forward and stabs Snowshank through his right hand.  3 Wolf Moon slashes Baldwin in the chest, tearing open lungs and arteries. It's too much, Baldwin passes out. Dusseldorf dodged back into the fray and stabs Hobbes in the left foot. That's the second shattered extremity, and Hobbes passes out from the pain. The ferocious tiger did a lot of damage and mixed up the fight quite impressively before he went down though.  3 Wolf Moon takes off Baldwins head. Slam Whale Willy still exists, I haven't written anything about him yet though. His silver mace is barely causing bruises throughout the combat log, so there's nothing to report as of yet.  Qwarf's spear pulverizes Snowshanks entire elbow area and Snowshank drops to the floor unconscious. Dusseldorf stabs Hobbes twice in the head and the tiger is done for. So it's 2v2 basically. Qwarf and Dusseldorf vs Slam Whale Willy and 3 Wolf Moon. The wildcard is "how quickly can Qwarf kill Snowshank to actually lend a hand to his teammate?"  Slam Whale Willy has other ideas than what I just said. He bites Dusseldorf in the eyelid and shakes him around three times. The eyelid is torn to poo poo. Dusseldorf is flying like a ragdoll back and forth when he finally is set back down. Dusseldorf takes a second to get his bearings but Slam Whale Willy shatters his leg instantly. Dusseldorf's rage cannot keep him going. Dusseldorf falls to the floor.  Slam Whale Willy only needs one swing to crush Dusseldorfs head. Can Qwarf win against two werewolves?  3 Wolf Moon figures it worked for Hobbes, so he charges Qwarf and they both fall to the floor tangled in each others arms like lovers. Slam Whale Willy begins raining blows down onto the dwarf while 3 Wolf Moon gets to his feet. Qwarf blocks everything Slam Whale can send his way, but is unable to get to his feet.  3 Wolf Moon swings that huge sword and Qwarfs foot is sent flying. Slam Whale Willy bites his face. Qwarf_SUB: I was attacked. Most shocking!  3 Wolf Moon bites his other foot. The two wolves shake him in opposite directions and Qwarf passes out immediately. Slam Whale Willy spits his head out and swings his mace as hard as he can. Splat goes Qwarfs skull. Go big and/or go home took full advantage of their size to pull off a 4-1 victory. A few critical stuns, bigger and thicker armor, and the lack of sharp spears on the Animists all played a part. Kills: Slam Whale Willy: 2 3 Wolf Moon: 1 Hobbes: 1 Dusseldorf: 1 Combat Log 
Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 14:49 on Jun 6, 2016 |
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Jun 6, 2016 14:45
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Well I did vote for double elimination and this is why... Grats to GBa/oGH! Here's hoping Laser Explosion can also swing an upset.
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Jun 6, 2016 14:52
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Maugrim posted:Well I did vote for double elimination and this is why... Well goddamn. Grats, GBa/oGH!
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Jun 6, 2016 14:55
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Maugrim posted:Well I did vote for double elimination and this is why... Ran it 5 more times and the final tally is 3-3. I was amazed as well, I thought it'd be like 5-1.
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Jun 6, 2016 15:00
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Just.. wow. I never expected Go big to upgrade to IRON ARMOR in the playoffs. That did the trick though. With no fighter and no money to bet with, I'm hoping for a whole round of upsets. Edit: Captaindirtnap fucked around with this message at 15:27 on Jun 6, 2016 |
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Jun 6, 2016 15:05
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Braun getting taken out early sucked and did us no favor. Looks like we chose wrong on the direction to go in: re - sharper spears. Oh well! Will losers at this point get a shot at the loser's 'bracket', whoever was running that?
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Jun 6, 2016 15:14
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Wooooo! Congrats, GBoGH!
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Jun 6, 2016 15:55
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The favorites stumble at the first hurdle, bested by the team they crushed at the end of the regular season! Their combined total of 65 kills will take at least a couple of rounds to be bested, however.
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Jun 6, 2016 16:18
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thats what you get for being short
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Jun 6, 2016 16:39
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 That... that sucked. Congrats Go Big and everyone that bet on them. jerks
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Jun 6, 2016 17:48
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| # ? May 9, 2024 23:41 |
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Frozen_flame posted:
I GROW
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Jun 6, 2016 18:35
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