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Gridlocked posted:Engineers aren't bad people Hahaha that's some good stdh.txt. Who would even think that sounds believable?
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# ? Jun 8, 2016 08:37 |
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# ? May 13, 2024 07:05 |
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poo poo that did happen: nine times as many terrorists were engineers as you would expect by chance Deport all engineers imo
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# ? Jun 8, 2016 10:43 |
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Khazar-khum posted:Karate Instructor Fuuuck I was wondering when one of these would drop in the thread. Talk to any teenage/early 20s martial arts person and they'll gleefully tell you five or six bullshit stories about the time their sensei won a 4 on 1 fight against armed Triad members in a video arcade. Give them enough time and sooner or later you'll hear that "his reflexes are so highly tuned that he tells his girlfriend not to sneak up on him from behind or he'll snap and kill her with his bare hands before he knows what's going on" or that "he has to register himself with the local police station whenever he moves house because his body qualifies as a deadly weapon" stories.
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# ? Jun 8, 2016 15:38 |
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quote:This troper's karate instructor had a crowning moment of awesome 34 years ago. When he was a senior in college someone broke into his apartment to get drug money. The guy had a 12 gauge shotgun and bottle with some liquid in it. To make a long story short my instructor disarmed the dude, the bottle broke during this in which contained acid as a result lost his left eye when the acid got on his face and still beat the living poo poo out of the dude. My instructor punched the dude so hard in the face that he busted the guys skull even after the acid got on his face, but the dude had so many drugs and such in his system he didn't feel anything or very little. My instructor only regret in this deal is that he didn't kill the dude when it happened. My favorite part about this one is that you know the writer whole-heartedly believes it.
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# ? Jun 8, 2016 15:39 |
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I love that the robber just happened to be carrying a bottle of acid. What was he going to with it, melt into a safe? Where did he even get it in the first place?
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# ? Jun 8, 2016 15:55 |
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Not just money DRUG MONEY
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# ? Jun 8, 2016 16:35 |
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Christo posted:I love that the robber just happened to be carrying a bottle of acid. What was he going to with it, melt into a safe? Where did he even get it in the first place? Throwing acid on people's faces is distressingly common.
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# ? Jun 8, 2016 16:41 |
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this troper's big brother said that it must be because acid is a type of drug which led to a Crowning Moment of Confusion
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# ? Jun 8, 2016 17:00 |
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Tunicate posted:Throwing acid on people's faces is distressingly common. I'm aware of that, but those are cases where the assailant specifically wants to disfigure and torture someone. Why would you take it with you to robbery, especially when you're already armed with a shotgun? Even if you're worried about getting disarmed, I'd think pocket sand or something would make a better back up weapon.
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# ? Jun 8, 2016 17:41 |
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Christo posted:I'm aware of that, but those are cases where the assailant specifically wants to disfigure and torture someone. Why would you take it with you to robbery, especially when you're already armed with a shotgun? Even if you're worried about getting disarmed, I'd think pocket sand or something would make a better back up weapon. He was planning to dispose of the body but didn't know how much acid it takes to dissolve a human body.
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# ? Jun 8, 2016 18:05 |
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Darth Windu posted:Wrong shut up idiot
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# ? Jun 8, 2016 18:11 |
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FuckenPunchOn posted:Fuuuck I was wondering when one of these would drop in the thread. Talk to any teenage/early 20s martial arts person and they'll gleefully tell you five or six bullshit stories about the time their sensei won a 4 on 1 fight against armed Triad members in a video arcade. "Sensei" has to register when he moves, but it's not for that reason
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# ? Jun 8, 2016 18:14 |
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Postal Parcel posted:He was planning to dispose of the body but didn't know how much acid it takes to dissolve a human body. John George Haigh on a budget.
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# ? Jun 8, 2016 20:39 |
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# ? Jun 8, 2016 20:46 |
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9XtK6R1QAk
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# ? Jun 8, 2016 22:23 |
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Somehow he was able to hold the pillowcase through exit and into free fall, then invert it in 120 mile an hour wind -without dropping it- and once freed all the cats were able to instantly match his terminal velocity and instinctively knew where they were in relation to him the moment they were released from the bag, and they were able to pierce his jumpsuit and his skin. And after all of that, they were able to hold on to him despite his trying to dislodge them... with his hands... In free-fall, moving at 50m/s through the air http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VCshRw1DAks
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# ? Jun 8, 2016 22:26 |
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Also I don't think cat's claws would be long enough to shred you to ribbons through your skydiving gear. What a hosed up thing to make up though, poor cat taking a 3 g shock on their claws.
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# ? Jun 9, 2016 10:11 |
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I love the guy at the end launching the cat into the ceiling with his foot!
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# ? Jun 9, 2016 20:54 |
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I wish I could fart this good
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# ? Jun 10, 2016 22:22 |
My Experience With Prostitution (Obese Virgin)quote:Summary: Morbidly obese, 27-year-old virgin fucks 10 beautiful women and has a threesome.
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# ? Jun 10, 2016 23:37 |
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chitoryu12 posted:To start, this post will be useless to most of you. If you are an attractive male, then this isn't for you. Ahaha, he really thinks most of the people posting on TRP are stone cold studs.
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# ? Jun 10, 2016 23:46 |
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This is amazing. "there is hope for you: pay for sex." Nothing as empowering as going to a cartel controlled areas and gently caress trafficked women.
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# ? Jun 10, 2016 23:57 |
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I'm not reading all those words a fat virgin. What is the dh part?
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# ? Jun 10, 2016 23:57 |
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I think that guy is really confused about what prostitution is.
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# ? Jun 11, 2016 00:09 |
I have a hard time believing he was able to cum multiple times in the space of an hour
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# ? Jun 11, 2016 00:10 |
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I'm confused, is this guy actually proud of the fact that he paid well over a thousand dollars for sex? Even if this story is made up, why lie about the fact you had to pay someone for sex?
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# ? Jun 11, 2016 01:20 |
moosecow333 posted:I'm confused, is this guy actually proud of the fact that he paid well over a thousand dollars for sex? It's from Redpill, the guys who think women are just cum dumpsters looking to abuse and manipulate men to satisfy their petty emotions. Like look at the first comment after: quote:loving good for you man, it's your birthright. Nobody gives a poo poo how fat or ugly you are, especially women - if you can afford them. And you ALWAYS pay for pussy, in some form, some way. No exceptions. They literally think that sex is their right as men and it's better to pay for it than risk getting involved with a "whore".
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# ? Jun 11, 2016 01:39 |
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Ein cooler Typ posted:
If that happened, I'd say it was probably more of a very heavy shart, causing a mephitic stench that just wouldn't dissipate (due to poo poo in the guy's pants), which is what a sewage leak causes.
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# ? Jun 11, 2016 03:02 |
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I was trying to figure out why he was so impressed that the first lady had naturally blond hair, before I realized that he was talking about her breasts. Also the rest of it is amazing
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# ? Jun 11, 2016 03:09 |
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chitoryu12 posted:It's from Redpill, the guys who think women are just cum dumpsters looking to abuse and manipulate men to satisfy their petty emotions. Like look at the first comment after: The one upside of these stories is that they make me really appreciate my boyfriend and the fact that he doesn't pick the scab of an existing mental illness. He's a really good guy and i am blessed
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# ? Jun 11, 2016 03:37 |
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# ? Jun 11, 2016 03:39 |
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GOTTA STAY FAI posted:"Sensei" has to register when he moves, but it's not for that reason
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# ? Jun 11, 2016 07:40 |
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Of8kY_IbYq4
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# ? Jun 11, 2016 07:50 |
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hackerquote:My dad is in the computer business, and is probably the most badass normal computer worker there, he has one of the people who developed the Texas instrument calculator's chips as his underling (but he's a good boss). Anyway... The people who run his servers (didn't have room for it at his house.) didn't update properly and accidentally let a hacker mess with the site's index page. First thing he does is call the server guys. They BS him and he calls it. He tracks down the hacker to BRAZIL (over the internet, of course) convinces the hacker to tell him how to do it and then informs the FBI while making sure that the method used by the hacker can never be used on one of his computers again. Milkman quote:This Troper's father had one of these at work. He's a milkman, so naturally, he delivers milk to stores, schools, and the like. On his old route, he had to deliver to a private school in Manhattan. He parked his truck, unloaded the milk, and delivered it, only to come back to see Mario Batali, in his limo, screaming about how the truck was blocking him and he had to drop his kids off at school. He began to scream at my father, ranting about how he was inconvenienced, dragging the principal into it on his side. Keep in mind, Mario Batali was about a foot shorter than my father. When he screamed up to him, "Do you know who I am?" my father replied "You're no Emeril." He proceeded to get in the truck and drive away, leaving behind an incredulous short chef and principal. Knife quote:This is second hand information, but heard from this troper's sword maestro, who shouldn't have any reason to lie on the subject: two of his former students had walked from a SCA gathering late at night wearing their gear, including chain mail shirts under their coats, since it's easiest to carry that way. Passing a dark alley, near the railway station, one of them was stabbed in the back. The flimsy knife shattered on his mail, and while they ran away as fast as they could without looking back, you can believe that somewhere there is a very confused assailant. It's only a pity that they never saw his face. PE quote:This troper is extremely quiet, and was made fun of for his large size. He hated PE. He was forced to play in a game of the PE teacher's devising which was like Rugby but with no rules and a lot of tackling. His CMoA came when he (For the first time that year) caught a ball passed to him. The aim was to run to the other end of the field without being brought down. In doing so, he gave another player a concussion accidentally when they tried to tackle him, another a black and purple bruise across their chest the same way, and carried another player hanging off his waist trying to bring him down the entire length. After reaching the end of the field, he threw the ball down and shouted "YEAH! YEAH!" and burst into manic laughter. This was impressive enough to start a short lived Memetic Badass status (Introduced to new students as "This is John, who runs down freight trains" and variations thereon).
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# ? Jun 11, 2016 07:53 |
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Mods please change name to Sword Maestro, tia
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# ? Jun 11, 2016 08:06 |
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Every time I cmoa I read it as choose my own adventure and picture this troper with fingers in the pages picking the most bestest outcome for the tale of poo poo that never happened
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# ? Jun 11, 2016 11:19 |
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fliptophead posted:Every time I cmoa I read it as choose my own adventure and picture this troper with fingers in the pages picking the most bestest outcome for the tale of poo poo that never happened Same, except it's always such mundane poo poo. If your pinnacle of achievement is imagining something that never happened in your high school gym class, I have bad news for you my friend.
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# ? Jun 11, 2016 11:26 |
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Khazar-khum posted:hacker Also my uncle totally works at Nintendo.
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# ? Jun 11, 2016 14:39 |
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fliptophead posted:Every time I cmoa I read it as choose my own adventure and picture this troper with fingers in the pages picking the most bestest outcome for the tale of poo poo that never happened It's not until I read this that I realized that CMOA is not, in fact, "Choose My Own Adventure" It made so much more sense.
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# ? Jun 11, 2016 15:43 |
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# ? May 13, 2024 07:05 |
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quote:with an rear end that is literally as nice as any other I’ve seen. For some reason that line really stood out for me, LITERALLY.
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# ? Jun 11, 2016 16:14 |