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Rondette posted:For some reason that line really stood out for me, LITERALLY. "This rear end is literally normal."
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Jun 11, 2016 17:04
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Jun 12, 2016 01:07
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Ha ha holy poo poo man that was so great how you almost set the entire gas station on fire, here have free stuff
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Jun 12, 2016 01:14
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Doesn't gas come out of the pump with basically the bare minimum amount of pressure anyway?
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Jun 12, 2016 01:19
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FrozenVent posted:Doesn't gas come out of the pump with basically the bare minimum amount of pressure anyway? No? Have you never pumped gas?
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Jun 12, 2016 04:23
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Nice dog whistle racism too
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Jun 12, 2016 05:11
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DragQueenofAngmar posted:Nice dog whistle racism too I don't know what you're talkin' about, boy!
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Jun 12, 2016 06:31
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Khazar-khum posted:
I mean, I don't mean to brag, but this goonette's ex-boyfriend once told Harry Connick, Jr. to shut the gently caress up after a concert at Florida State University in 1992. He said it right to his face! Harry Connick, Jr. totally made a mad face and everything, it was so epic. It's just so weird, this relating of stories that happened to other people. You know someone who claims to have done something badass? Good for you, no one gives a gently caress.
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Jun 12, 2016 06:32
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I wouldn't really say that's weird or anything. Definitely off-putting but not outside of the norm for everyday conversations. It's just more obnoxious put in text form with 3rd person tense and obviously fake stories attached to it.
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Jun 12, 2016 07:05
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Drunk Tomato posted:I don't know what you're talkin' about, boy! Also it's in Oakland, if you know what i mean. 
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Jun 12, 2016 08:00
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sweeperbravo posted:The one upside of these stories is that they make me really appreciate my boyfriend and the fact that he doesn't pick the scab of an existing mental illness. He's a really good guy and i am blessed Looks like you've got a bluepill beta wrapped around your cruel, woman finger. Just don't let him know that you're banging his alpha friend.  (What is the redpill relationship boogeyman? Is it like cuckolds and their constant "BIG BLACK BULL BANGS MY WHITE WIFE" thing or is it something that is more materialistic?) So, reading through this, I loved reading the "strategies" and "cheat codes" parts the best. Can you really call it a strategy or a cheat code to pay a prostitute to have sex with you? It's not like you had to dial the konami code in your phone and go to some glitched spot and stand there for 3 hours. Postal Parcel has a new favorite as of 10:56 on Jun 12, 2016 |
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Jun 12, 2016 10:51
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Postal Parcel posted:What is the redpill relationship boogeyman? Women.
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Jun 12, 2016 11:00
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Postal Parcel posted:What is the redpill relationship boogeyman? Women.
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Jun 12, 2016 11:58
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FrozenVent posted:Doesn't gas come out of the pump with basically the bare minimum amount of pressure anyway?  No. Gas from a pump can easily shoot up to 20 feet. Source: I was a juvenile delinquent.
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Jun 12, 2016 12:47
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Cross post from IoSM
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Jun 12, 2016 14:33
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Postal Parcel posted:What is the redpill relationship boogeyman? Was going to post "women," then was going to post "beaten," then got sad.
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Jun 12, 2016 14:48
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Zipperelli. posted:
This is correct. Source: I have arthritis and sometimes am a little slow about releasing my grip.  Edit: Fortunately, my car windows were closed, and I was the only one at the pump. Sorry, ecosystem!
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Jun 12, 2016 21:04
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Henchman of Santa posted:Cross post from IoSM I swear there was a load more of this
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Jun 12, 2016 22:17
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Jockquote:This troper couldn't have planned his CMOA if he'd wanted to, but he still savours the memory fifteen years later. Having Calculus and Statistics in back-to-back periods of high school? Tedious. Having the teacher tell the class at year's beginning "I don't care what you do in class, as long as you're quiet and don't bother me unless someone's dying!"? Distasteful. Having a Jerk Jock sit next to this troper in Stats one day and demand "Lemme copy what you're doing" (with an implicit "or else!")? Aggravating. Watching a week later as the teacher gets up before the class, makes a speech about 'copying's okay, as long as you *learn* in the process' - then skewers said Jerk Jock for handing in a copy of my ''Calc'' assignment as his ''Stats'' homework? PRICELESS. Competent quote:This troper, who likes to think of herself as a competent writer, once failed the essay portion of a stupidly easy and stupidly pointless high school standardized test. She was so annoyed at having to re-take the test—and the remedial version at that—that when she got the prompt for the second test, she decided to write the entire thing... in mirror handwriting. (It's one of her Usseless Useful Skills.) Oh, it was still on topic—just completely backwards. She got 98% of the possible score. Geometry quote:Minor but Awesome, This Troper once took her Geometry finals with out a calculator (it was dead) or reference sheets (highly recomended by the teach) and not only proceeds to get 103 points out of 100, but gets the highest score out of ALL the geometry classes in the SCHOOL. Penology quote:This troper's (I'll just say "me" and "my" from now on) had a few, most of them verbally, but one in particular comes to mind: During high school I was a founding member for me school's Mock Trial team (it's just what it sounds like - mock court cases, with everything done by students). Despite having little to no experience with legal matters, my team of 6 managed to make it to the final round of my regional competition, beating out schools who had been doing this for years. During this final case, when I attempted to submit my penologist (expert in the study of prisons) witness as an expert witness (so her opinions could be considered as fact), the other team objected, saying that my witness had failed to really identify what penology was. My teammates looked shocked - this had never happened before, and if my witness wasn't considered an expert, our whole case went down. I then turned and calmly said to the judge, "Your Honor, I don't see any reason for my witness to have to define penology, as the opposing counsel's own expert witness has already provided us with an excellent definition. As it is, I believe her experience speaks for itself." The judge agreed, overruling the objection, and even giving me a little smile. The opposing team looked a little flustered - being as they were well-known for being composed at every moment, I considered it a win. We still lost the case (mostly because we were going up against the team that had won state last year), but looking back, we did pretty drat well for the first year ever.
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Jun 13, 2016 09:27
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I've read the penology one like 5 times and what the gently caress is going on?
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Jun 13, 2016 11:36
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Xen Tricks posted:I've read the penology one like 5 times and what the gently caress is going on? That Troper is remember the last time they did anything praiseworthy.
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Jun 13, 2016 11:41
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I wonder how often he tries to bring up the prison system in conversation so he can whip that story out.
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Jun 13, 2016 12:12
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It looks like there should be some kind of dick joke in there but it's just "I made a minor procedural comment in mock trial"? That might be one of the worst tales ever for just how crushingly mundane it is. Who could possibly care?
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Jun 13, 2016 12:25
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Xen Tricks posted:It looks like there should be some kind of dick joke in there but it's just "I made a minor procedural comment in mock trial"? That might be one of the worst tales ever for just how crushingly mundane it is. Who could possibly care? Maybe This Troper is a Badass Normal.
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Jun 13, 2016 12:40
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I wonder how many nights he went home from the bar alone because he didn't have an interesting story to tell. Enough that he pulled out that deep cut as the greatest moment of his life. "Alright, so I was a kid, and we were pretending to be lawyers..."
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Jun 13, 2016 12:49
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 what the gently caress did I just read
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Jun 13, 2016 13:09
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Khazar-khum posted:still savours the memory fifteen years later. 
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Jun 13, 2016 13:09
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Pope Corky the IX posted:I wonder how many nights he went home from the bar alone because he didn't have an interesting story to tell. Enough that he pulled out that deep cut as the greatest moment of his life. In real life, I hope he also begins every story by explaining the concept of a mock trial, and ends it by mentioning how, despite his crowningly awesome comment, they lost anyway. Khazar-khum posted:Jock What makes this one great is how the author didn't even seem to do anything. He just went along with the jock's bullying and then the jock got "skewered" for turning in the wrong assignment by accident. From the wording, it doesn't look like the jock even failed or got in any real trouble--the teacher just gave him a hard time. I guess maybe we're supposed to believe that the author intentionally gave him the wrong homework to copy as part of a master revenge scheme, but it doesn't really say that. Also this. tankadillo has a new favorite as of 13:20 on Jun 13, 2016 |
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Jun 13, 2016 13:12
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tankadillo posted:In real life, I hope he also begins every story by explaining the concept of a mock trial, and ends it by mentioning how, despite his crowningly awesome comment, they lost anyway. That may be the most depressing part. It's your story, you can embellish it in any way you want. Nobody is going to fact-check you and ask your former classmates whether or not you actually won the big trial.
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Jun 13, 2016 13:16
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Pope Corky the IX posted:That may be the most depressing part. It's your story, you can embellish it in any way you want. Nobody is going to fact-check you and ask your former classmates whether or not you actually won the big trial. You forget that that probably is the embellished version.
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Jun 13, 2016 13:34
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Kajeesus posted:You forget that that probably is the embellished version. So what's the real version? "I tried to join the debate team in high school and I've seen 'My Cousin Vinny' two and a half times"
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Jun 13, 2016 13:38
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Pope Corky the IX posted:So what's the real version? Reading about something similar happening and internalizing it. One of my coworkers does this poo poo all the time. Sometimes he'll even tell me stories about things I've done, with him edited in place of myself.
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Jun 13, 2016 14:03
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Jonas Albrecht posted:Reading about something similar happening and internalizing it. One of my coworkers does this poo poo all the time. Sometimes he'll even tell me stories about things I've done, with him edited in place of myself. Please tell us about the times this person replaced you in your stories, it sounds loving fascinating. shit_that_didnt_happen_to_you.txt
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Jun 13, 2016 14:28
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Jonas Albrecht posted:Reading about something similar happening and internalizing it. One of my coworkers does this poo poo all the time. Sometimes he'll even tell me stories about things I've done, with him edited in place of myself. I've never figured out if that's a sign of autism or just people being consummate oneuppers. I've had a couple of friends that just cannot stop telling "badass" stories about their life but from what I know of their life they haven't had nearly enough time or resources to be all the amazing things they claim. Both of them have been the awful oneupper that nobody wants to be friends with, but both also showed signs of being  about everything else as well. It may be connected. 
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Jun 13, 2016 15:31
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Jesus it's like you guys talking about gas have never had a gasoline fight. With ORANGE MOCHA FRAPPUCHINOOOOOOOS
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Jun 13, 2016 15:44
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Pope Corky the IX posted:That may be the most depressing part. It's your story, you can embellish it in any way you want. Nobody is going to fact-check you and ask your former classmates whether or not you actually won the big trial. Hey you wanna hear about the time I lost a minor regional mock trial as a kid? Wait where are you going, no no you gotta hear this, THE JUDGE GAVE ME A SLIGHT SMILE!
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Jun 13, 2016 16:37
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Jonas Albrecht posted:Reading about something similar happening and internalizing it. One of my coworkers does this poo poo all the time. Sometimes he'll even tell me stories about things I've done, with him edited in place of myself. My (adult) coworker was getting her braces off, and I had just seen this on the internets and told her about it, like "hey I saw this funny thing about braces:"  She told me that our spergy coworker had already told her about this, only he framed it like "You've inspired me to write a story about someone trying to get their braces off after the apocalypse" or some poo poo
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Jun 13, 2016 19:36
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TheKennedys posted:I've never figured out if that's a sign of autism or just people being consummate oneuppers. I've had a couple of friends that just cannot stop telling "badass" stories about their life but from what I know of their life they haven't had nearly enough time or resources to be all the amazing things they claim. Both of them have been the awful oneupper that nobody wants to be friends with, but both also showed signs of being I had a short-lived friend in the neighborhood back in middle school or 9th grade (can't remember how long he lasted). He was a few years younger than me and one of only two friends I had within walking distance, so he came over to my house fairly often to play video games and stuff like that. He had a chronic problem with telling fantastic stories about himself and his relatives which could never possibly be true. The only one I remember with any clarity was that he said his dad drove down to the Mexican border to shoot a bunch of badass privately owned weapons like an AA-12 (he conveniently couldn't remember what shotgun it was until I prodded him). I don't think he was autistic or anything, or really had any disorders beyond probably ADHD. He was just a lonely kid trying to make himself seem cool.
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Jun 13, 2016 19:40
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chitoryu12 posted:I had a short-lived friend in the neighborhood back in middle school or 9th grade (can't remember how long he lasted). What killed him? Was it you?
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Jun 13, 2016 19:49
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Nuclear War posted:What killed him? Was it you? 
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Jun 13, 2016 19:50
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