Microsoft: ~*spooky thread*~ post if you dare

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Pinterest Mom: Jun 9, 2009

a note from linkedin's ceo

quote:

Every day I come to work, I'm primarily guided by two things:

First, realizing our mission and vision. While this has always been top of mind for me, it�s never been more so than now. Remember that dystopian view of the future in which technology displaces millions of people from their jobs? It's happening.

[...]

The second thing I focus on every day is making our culture and values come to life. Ten years ago, had you asked me about culture and values I would have rolled my eyes and recited a line from Dilbert. But when I started as CEO I began to appreciate just how important they were. Culture and values provide the foundation upon which everything else is built. They are arguably our most important competitive advantage, and something that has grown to define us. It's one thing to change the world. It's another to do it in our own unique way: Members first. Relationships matter. Be open, honest and constructive. Demand excellence. Take intelligent risks. Act like an owner.

That's who we are. That's LinkedIn.

# ? Jun 13, 2016 20:16

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 12, 2024 01:25

JewKiller 3000: Nov 28, 2006; by Lowtax

When Satya first proposed the idea of acquiring LinkedIn, he said it was absolutely essential that we had alignment on two things: Purpose and structure. On the former, it didn�t take long before the two of us realized we had virtually identical mission statements. For LinkedIn, it was to connect the world�s professionals to make them more productive and successful, and for Microsoft it was to empower every individual and organization in the world to achieve more. Essentially, we�re both trying to do the same thing but coming at it from two different places: For LinkedIn, it�s the professional network, and for Microsoft, the professional cloud.

# ? Jun 13, 2016 20:17

Janitor Prime: Jan 22, 2004; PC LOAD LETTER

What da fuck does that mean; Fun Shoe

JewKiller 3000 posted:

When Satya first proposed the idea of acquiring LinkedIn, he said it was absolutely essential that we had alignment on two things: Purpose and structure. On the former, it didn�t take long before the two of us realized we had virtually identical mission statements. For LinkedIn, it was to connect the world�s professionals to make them more productive and successful, and for Microsoft it was to empower every individual and organization in the world to achieve more. Essentially, we�re both trying to do the same thing but coming at it from two different places: For LinkedIn, it�s the professional network, and for Microsoft, the professional butt.

# ? Jun 13, 2016 20:28

Mr. Nice!: Oct 13, 2005; bone shaking.
soul baking.

anthonypants posted:

it was in the tweet that linked to that article https://twitter.com/CNBCnow/status/742421000688664576

# ? Jun 13, 2016 21:27

moron izzard: Nov 17, 2006; Grimey Drawer

I wonder if, with xbone s's switch to bluetooth for their controllers, that they'll improve the bluetooth stack on windows t- ahahahahahahahahhaha

# ? Jun 13, 2016 21:45

anthonypants: May 6, 2007; by Nyc_Tattoo; Dinosaur Gum

A Yolo Wizard posted:

I wonder if, with xbone s's switch to bluetooth for their controllers, that they'll improve the bluetooth stack on windows t- ahahahahahahahahhaha

since windows 10 they're on the same operating system :downs:

# ? Jun 13, 2016 21:49

Joe 30330: Dec 20, 2007; "We have this notion that if you're poor, you cannot do it. Poor kids are just as bright and just as talented as white kids."

As the audience reluctantly began to applaud during the silence, Biden tried to fix his remarks.

"Wealthy kids, black kids, Asian kids -- no, I really mean it." Biden said.

JewKiller 3000 posted:

When Satya first proposed the idea of acquiring LinkedIn, he said it was absolutely essential that we had alignment on two things: Purpose and structure. On the former, it didn�t take long before the two of us realized we had virtually identical mission statements. For LinkedIn, it was to connect the world�s professionals to make them more productive and successful, and for Microsoft it was to empower every individual and organization in the world to achieve more. Essentially, we�re both trying to do the same thing but coming at it from two different places: For LinkedIn, it�s the professional network, and for Microsoft, the professional cloud.

guy's pretty full of himself. linkedin is for job hopping and sucks balls as a social network

so basically no better company to lead the way than microsoft

# ? Jun 13, 2016 21:58

moron izzard: Nov 17, 2006; Grimey Drawer

anthonypants posted:

since windows 10 they're on the same operating system

Bluetooth support is so bad that the JS joust people just gave up after a few months and asked people to play the linux version instead

# ? Jun 13, 2016 22:03

pseudorandom name: May 6, 2007

FCKGW posted:

pm zen death robot, he might do it

it order to do it right you'd have to wrap yospos in an iframe and stick clippyjs in the outer containing page and then use the dom history api to make the outer page url match the iframe url, except when you navigate out of yospos

# ? Jun 13, 2016 22:30

Triglav: Jun 2, 2007; IT IS HARAAM TO SEND SMILEY FACES THROUGH THE INTERNET

track competitor employees and their positions and resume changes, corporate espionage as a service :madmax:

# ? Jun 13, 2016 22:31

duomo: Oct 9, 2007; Soiled Meat

when will they start stack ranking resumes?

# ? Jun 14, 2016 01:08

duTrieux.: Oct 9, 2003

JewKiller 3000 posted:

When Satya first proposed the idea of acquiring LinkedIn, he said it was absolutely essential that we had alignment on two things: Purpose and structure. On the former, it didn�t take long before the two of us realized we had virtually identical mission statements. For LinkedIn, it was to connect the world�s professionals to make them more productive and successful, and for Microsoft it was to empower every individual and organization in the world to achieve more. Essentially, we�re both trying to do the same thing but coming at it from two different places: For LinkedIn, it�s the professional network, and for Microsoft, the professional cloud.

seriously, look at this loving word salad

you could spend all day unpacking it

i find this bit the most damning and revealing:

quote:

On the former, it didn�t take long before the two of us realized we had virtually identical mission statements.

# ? Jun 14, 2016 03:15

Agile Vector: May 21, 2007; scrum bored

Agile Vector posted:

hell yeah more apps for the app god

:froglinkedin:

# ? Jun 14, 2016 03:23

JewKiller 3000: Nov 28, 2006; by Lowtax

has someone made a web quiz where people try to guess the company based on its mission statement? i bet the results would be worse than random chance

# ? Jun 14, 2016 03:24

duTrieux.: Oct 9, 2003

if you're running windows 10 you should go to Updates & Security > Activation and then quintuple-click the h1 "Windows" in the content pane

# ? Jun 14, 2016 05:01

NyetscapeNavigator: Sep 22, 2003

Someone do it and give me a trip report.

# ? Jun 14, 2016 05:21

Asymmetric POSTer: Aug 17, 2005

Last Chance posted:

i wonder if they'll rename it lync'd in .com

lol

# ? Jun 14, 2016 05:27

Joe 30330: Dec 20, 2007; "We have this notion that if you're poor, you cannot do it. Poor kids are just as bright and just as talented as white kids."

As the audience reluctantly began to applaud during the silence, Biden tried to fix his remarks.

"Wealthy kids, black kids, Asian kids -- no, I really mean it." Biden said.

Agile Vector posted:

Somebody replace the middle with hello.jpg

# ? Jun 14, 2016 05:43

invlwhen: Jul 28, 2012; please do your best

NyetscapeNavigator posted:

Someone do it and give me a trip report.

how handy

# ? Jun 14, 2016 05:57

anthonypants: May 6, 2007; by Nyc_Tattoo; Dinosaur Gum

invlwhen posted:

how handy

i have a coworker who uses windows 10 and i guess i know what i'm doing the next time he leaves his computer unlocked

# ? Jun 14, 2016 06:18

EIDE Van Hagar: Dec 8, 2000; Beep Boop

lomarf @ working for the other team:

# ? Jun 14, 2016 06:21

JewKiller 3000: Nov 28, 2006; by Lowtax

C.H.O.M.E posted:

lomarf @ working for the other team:

lol guys this poster is named CHOME and he said LOMARF omg i'm losing it here

# ? Jun 14, 2016 06:22

duTrieux.: Oct 9, 2003

anthonypants posted:

i have a coworker who uses windows 10 and i guess i know what i'm doing the next time he leaves his computer unlocked

if you click 'change' you still need to enter a retail access code to get anywhere

what it does:
1. creates an admin account
2. create an account for Darrin DeYoung
3. installs demo software with promo material for ms products, store-specific stuff, etc.
4. whenever it's idle it'll go into a series of video loops and basically reset/refresh itself for the next user

i just thought it was both convenient and weird that this is in the reteail software.

e: i guess you can push ahead without a retail codeif you really want

duTrieux. fucked around with this message at 06:29 on Jun 14, 2016

# ? Jun 14, 2016 06:25

EIDE Van Hagar: Dec 8, 2000; Beep Boop

JewKiller 3000 posted:

lol guys this poster is named CHOME and he said LOMARF omg i'm losing it here

δαρτ

# ? Jun 14, 2016 06:27

Siljmonster: Dec 16, 2005; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

C.H.O.M.E posted:

lomarf @ working for the other team:

CarliFiorina.jpg

# ? Jun 14, 2016 07:44

anthonypants: May 6, 2007; by Nyc_Tattoo; Dinosaur Gum

C.H.O.M.E posted:

lomarf @ working for the other team:

# ? Jun 14, 2016 07:56

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003; no meds = f4

JewKiller 3000 posted:

lol guys this poster is named CHOME and he said LOMARF omg i'm losing it here

Mad? Mad about memes? Lomarf.

# ? Jun 14, 2016 08:40

max4me: Jun 15, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

So how much healthier would ms be if they didnt but poo poo.

Like no minecraft, no nokia, no skype, no linkedin

Just spine off xbox and the games department.

No surfaces just slim down and run enterprise stuff for the next 30 years

# ? Jun 14, 2016 12:08

r u ready to WALK: Sep 29, 2001

But that wouldn't make their idiot investors happy, a company has to grow, grow, GROW!!

If they just found their niche and stagnated, investors would lose faith and stock values would plummet. The stock market is silly.

# ? Jun 14, 2016 12:11

heated game moment: Oct 30, 2003; Lipstick Apathy

max4me posted:

So how much healthier would ms be if they didnt but poo poo.

Like no minecraft, no nokia, no skype, no linkedin

Just spine off xbox and the games department.

No surfaces just slim down and run enterprise stuff for the next 30 years

what, and just print money from here to eternity? no sir. anything short of infinite growth equals failure

# ? Jun 14, 2016 12:12

max4me: Jun 15, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

error1 posted:

But that wouldn't make their idiot investors happy, a company has to grow, grow, GROW!!

If they just found their niche and stagnated, investors would lose faith and stock values would plummet. The stock market is silly.

This reminds me of googles issue. They got lucky with some acquisitions, android and double click come to mind. Youtube might not create money but its great for brand.

Instead of trying to buy their way into a market or get in on a trend they could go the google x route and just create a research lab and see what it can poo poo out.

# ? Jun 14, 2016 12:19

Lysidas: Jul 26, 2002; John Diefenbaker is a madman who thinks he's John Diefenbaker.; Pillbug

i thnk the iphone has made it much worse for a lot of these companies and broke their collective brains, and made them slightly more likely to dump money into a ton of dumb poo poo in the hope that some of it will be wildly successful

like, "apple was in the right place at the right time, and through a lot of skill and luck created the most successful product in history, the shareholders are expecting us to do the same"

# ? Jun 14, 2016 13:56

Shaggar: Apr 26, 2006

duTrieux. posted:

if you click 'change' you still need to enter a retail access code to get anywhere

what it does:
1. creates an admin account
2. create an account for Darrin DeYoung
3. installs demo software with promo material for ms products, store-specific stuff, etc.
4. whenever it's idle it'll go into a series of video loops and basically reset/refresh itself for the next user

i just thought it was both convenient and weird that this is in the reteail software.

e: i guess you can push ahead without a retail codeif you really want

it didnt work for me, but whats weird is that you'd do it through some secret click instead of just replacing the product key which is how product version changes normally work.

# ? Jun 14, 2016 14:02