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Imagined
Feb 2, 2007

turntabler posted:



Honest question how would you even get the child out of a gators jaws? I doubt you could pry them apart on any decent sized animal and you can't just pull the kid free. Gouge its eyes?

A full grown alligator can have a bite strength around 3,000 PSI. For reference a lion or hyena can do about 1,000. There is gently caress all you could do without a weapon or about a dozen strong dudes... with weapons.

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Constipated
Nov 25, 2009

Gotta make that money man its still the same now
The answer is so obvious. Make sweet love to the gator, and when it's all horned up relaxed it will let go of the child.






Might make you a sex offender for loving a gator in front of a kid though.

Sustentacular
Aug 27, 2011
This gator story is awful, and I have nothing but sympathy for the parents, but I did not have to read that article to know that they were from out of state. Though not frequent, it's not uncommon to hear news reports about tourists that lose small pets while walking too close to lakes, or someone losing a foot because they dipped their toesies in a canal to cool off, or worse. The truth is you can plant a million signs around every lake, pond, spring, and river around here, but what tourists fail to realize is that alligators are NOT sharks. You don't have to be swimming for them to get you, they'll drag you down at ankle-deep waters. And you'll never see them coming either. They're living dinosaurs, and the reason they're still around is because they're very good at what they do. It's why most people have swimming pools in their backyards down here. All of nature's waterholes are full of hungry reptiles, venomous snakes, and other assorted protected wildlife.

Disney's usually pretty good about signage and safety. Especially in Orlando where they own nightclubs, resorts, and campgrounds in addition to the parks, studios and offices. Disney's going to comp/reimburse their stay, make some other nice gestures while they're in the area, and give them a generous settlement to stay out of civil court. But as far as charges of criminal negligence? Not gonna happen. Disney's only responsible for the animals they own, not the wildlife that lives on its properties. They did their dilligence by having the signs up, but you can't educate every tourist that the animals here are as dangerous as Australia's.

Control Volume
Dec 31, 2008

It doesnt need to be criminal negligence to have a huge negative impact on Disney's image so they'll be putting up much better signage regardless of how much legal pressure there may be to do so

wyntyr
Mar 27, 2006
There's already new signage up according to some theme park industry websites. Doesn't change the fact that Disney has a bit of a black eye at the moment. That combined with the terrorist attack have some people reconsidering where to take their summer vacation this year.

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

wyntyr posted:

There's already new signage up according to some theme park industry websites. Doesn't change the fact that Disney has a bit of a black eye at the moment. That combined with the terrorist attack have some people reconsidering where to take their summer vacation this year.

What are the odds a third terrible tragedy takes place there this Summer?

Varkk
Apr 17, 2004

Chichevache posted:

What are the odds a third terrible tragedy takes place there this Summer?

I thought this was the third.

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.
It's Florida. There's a 100% chance. My money is on some sort of industrial fire.

Cythereal
Nov 8, 2009

I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.

Solice Kirsk posted:

It's Florida. There's a 100% chance. My money is on some sort of industrial fire.

I live in Florida. I put my wager on a sinkhole.

Gravitas Shortfall
Jul 17, 2007

Utility is seven-eighths Proximity.


Solice Kirsk posted:

It's Florida. There's a 100% chance. My money is on some sort of industrial fire.

I'm betting on something to do with Florida Man, the scamp.

wyntyr
Mar 27, 2006

Chichevache posted:

What are the odds a third terrible tragedy takes place there this Summer?

Varkk is right, this is number three. Public murder of Christina Grimmie of "The Voice" fame Friday night, terrorist attack Sunday morning, then gator snack at Disney.

Stare-Out
Mar 11, 2010

I think the fact that it's Florida already counts as one disaster.

Cythereal
Nov 8, 2009

I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.

Stare-Out posted:

I think the fact that it's Florida already counts as one disaster.

Sad thing is, Orlando's usually considered one of the nicer cities in the state - it's well known here for being the most LGBT-friendly city in the state.

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

wyntyr posted:

Varkk is right, this is number three. Public murder of Christina Grimmie of "The Voice" fame Friday night, terrorist attack Sunday morning, then gator snack at Disney.

I wasn't counting the Grimmie thing. People get gunned down senselessly all over America.

purple death ray
Jul 28, 2007

me omw 2 steal ur girl

Chichevache posted:

I wasn't counting the Grimmie thing. People get gunned down senselessly all over America.

Not all of them happen on stage, in front of a big crowd

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Travis343 posted:

Not all of them happen on stage, in front of a big crowd

I thought she was signing autographs when it happened.

wyntyr
Mar 27, 2006

Chichevache posted:

I thought she was signing autographs when it happened.

Yeah, that's the case. It's the public murder of a public figure, I'd say it counts. :shrug:

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

wyntyr posted:

Yeah, that's the case. It's the public murder of a public figure, I'd say it counts. :shrug:

Ok. I didn't know singing contestants counted as celebrities.

titties
May 10, 2012

They're like two suicide notes stuffed into a glitter bra

Chichevache posted:

Ok. I didn't know singing contestants counted as celebrities.

I wouldn't call her a celebrity but like 13 million people watched her on tv in the weeks preceding her murder in front of a crowd at an autograph signing so I'm pretty sure it is ok to call her a public figure.

wyntyr
Mar 27, 2006
Yeah, I'd never heard of her prior to the shooting, but in fairness I'm an antisocial goon.

Subjunctive
Sep 12, 2006

✨sparkle and shine✨

wyntyr posted:

Yeah, I'd never heard of her prior to the shooting, but in fairness I'm an antisocial goon.

I don't think of watching television as being very socially demanding.

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS

Cythereal posted:

Sad thing is, Orlando's usually considered one of the nicer cities in the state

Quoting because this unnerved me.

A Spider Covets
May 4, 2009


Been editing articles about the alligator incident all week. This doesn't make me an expert or a witness, but Disney responded pretty much immediately for a company of its size - comping the family and installing signs ASAP. Doesn't make up for losing a child, not by a long shot (nothing can), and I agree they should have had more informative signage originally considering duh people from out of state will be there, but at least they aren't just sitting on their laurels.

I don't read the comments sections, but thankfully all articles + quotes therein have been sympathetic to the parents so far. Just a terrible, tragic accident that could have happened to anyone.

Varkk
Apr 17, 2004

A Spider Covets posted:

I don't read the comments sections, but thankfully all articles + quotes therein have been sympathetic to the parents so far. Just a terrible, tragic accident that could have happened to anyone.

That is the thing isn't it? Just today I took my three year old to a river and stood there with him as he splashed on the edge in his gumboots, threw stones and sticks in to the water to make a splash and all the things a pre-schooler does on a Sunday afternoon at the river with his family. At one point I realised just how similar it was for that family in Orlando and I was thankful to live in a country without crocodiles etc.

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Varkk posted:

That is the thing isn't it? Just today I took my three year old to a river and stood there with him as he splashed on the edge in his gumboots, threw stones and sticks in to the water to make a splash and all the things a pre-schooler does on a Sunday afternoon at the river with his family. At one point I realised just how similar it was for that family in Orlando and I was thankful to live in a country without crocodiles etc.

Tell us what country you're in and we can tell you what dangerous animals are lurking out there that can kill your kid. :smith:

quite stretched out
Feb 17, 2011

the chillest

Chichevache posted:

Tell us what country you're in and we can tell you what dangerous animals are lurking out there that can kill your kid. :smith:

whats your address ill post you a crocodile

Beige
Sep 13, 2004
An alligator's jaws are no stronger than a thick elastic band. Granted, most people don't have the quickness of thought or strength to achieve it but I'd pry the mouth open and wedge it with a thick stick. They're more afraid of us than we are of them.

vaguely
Apr 29, 2013

hot_squirting_honey.gif

Beige posted:

An alligator's jaws are no stronger than a thick elastic band. Granted, most people don't have the quickness of thought or strength to achieve it but I'd pry the mouth open and wedge it with a thick stick. They're more afraid of us than we are of them.

no, the thing is that the muscles for them to OPEN their jaws are weak enough that you can just rubber band them shut to render them harmless, but their bite strength (to close their jaws) is ridiculously enormous
if they're biting down on something already then no amount of heaving will get that thing out

quite stretched out
Feb 17, 2011

the chillest
yeah keeping a gator/croc's mouth closed is the easy part, keeping it open not so much

Beige
Sep 13, 2004
I am a VERY strong mother when my kids are in danger.

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.
Did they ever say how big the gator was? Cause I'd think it would be a smaller one to take a toddler.

Thoughtless
Feb 1, 2007


Doesn't think, just types.
The only thing you could realistically do with an alligator is gouge the eyes. Same thing for pretty much all large animals, unless you're armed, always go for the eyes.

A Spider Covets
May 4, 2009


Solice Kirsk posted:

Did they ever say how big the gator was? Cause I'd think it would be a smaller one to take a toddler.

4-7 feet

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.

Thoughtless posted:

The only thing you could realistically do with an alligator is gouge the eyes. Same thing for pretty much all large animals, unless you're armed, always go for the eyes.

Same with muggers and rapists.

InediblePenguin
Sep 27, 2004

I'm strong. And a giant penguin. Please don't eat me. No, really. Don't try.

Thoughtless posted:

The only thing you could realistically do with an alligator is gouge the eyes. Same thing for pretty much all large animals, unless you're armed, always go for the eyes.

Gators' eyes retract into their skulls for protection against this tactic

Telsa Cola
Aug 19, 2011

No... this is all wrong... this whole operation has just gone completely sidewaysface

InediblePenguin posted:

Gators' eyes retract into their skulls for protection against this tactic

Gators and crocodiles are actually pretty great. They are essentially natures "Yeah we thought you would think of that" animal. Drown it? Nah they can hold their breath for like ever. Shoot it? I mean that might work but we armored their skin. Run from it? Nah we made them able to run faster/as fast as an adult human when it needs too.

Sarcopenia
May 14, 2014
http://www.yelp.com/topic/diamond-bar-my-friend-maribel-ramos-is-missing


I feel like this has already been posted, but I'm not sure, so I'll post it anyway.

MTV Crib Death
Jun 21, 2012
I told my fat girlfriend I wanted to bang skinny chicks and now I'm wondering why my relationship is garbage.

Sarcopenia posted:

http://www.yelp.com/topic/diamond-bar-my-friend-maribel-ramos-is-missing


I feel like this has already been posted, but I'm not sure, so I'll post it anyway.

Incredible. Don't skip this one.

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.

Sarcopenia posted:

http://www.yelp.com/topic/diamond-bar-my-friend-maribel-ramos-is-missing


I feel like this has already been posted, but I'm not sure, so I'll post it anyway.

This post has been removed by Admin

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Kanine
Aug 5, 2014

by Nyc_Tattoo
How One Man Is Dealing with Life After Leaving His Family's Polygamist Cult

currently reading into the kingston clan and this is just :froggonk:

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