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FrozenVent posted:Is constantly wanting to reinvent the wheel a standard feature of MBA's or is it just ours? It's a feature of bad MBAs, AKA people that went straight into a MBA program from undergrad. There really should be a five-year work experience requirement for MBA programs.
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Jun 21, 2016 22:32
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Ornamented Death posted:It's a feature of bad MBAs, AKA people that went straight into a MBA program from undergrad. There really should be a five-year work experience requirement for MBA programs. gently caress MBAs.
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Jun 21, 2016 23:10
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WampaLord posted:"High maintenance" Oh yeah duh, thanks. The final count was 12 on the day, including one where I'm pretty sure she copied a previous email verbatim, and another where she called me five minutes after sending a message, to ask about said message. And it's not like I ignore her (I actually pride myself on being really good about responding to emails), it's just that she either doesn't know what she's doing or cannot combine two connected thoughts into one email.
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Jun 21, 2016 23:26
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MBA programs give case studies, tools and a language for analyzing and presenting business problems, but they aren't going to make you magically think differently. I.e. if you're a numpty without an MBA you will still be a numpty with an MBA.
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Jun 22, 2016 06:53
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If you've never witnessed the horrifying wonders of a gaggle of MBA's clustered around an easel, salivating as they gather together to bring a flow chart into the world, I don't know what to tell you. Quiet your breath for an instant and you will hear the wind whisper, synergy
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Jun 22, 2016 08:29
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Other MBA abuses of the English language deserving of war crimes prosecution: Going forward Architecting Lean in Ask as a noun - what is the ask here Norman? Visibility
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Jun 22, 2016 13:36
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I dunno after recently seeing a gaggle of law students talk about the time they got busted for DUI in Aspen with so much volume and glee you'd think they just won WW2, I would instead gladly welcome some whiteboarding MBAs using buzzwords.
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Jun 22, 2016 14:17
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I worked in a law library for 2 years. Law students can be incredibly creepy and weird. And then it's exam time and there's people crying everywhere, and it's super awkward when you're just trying to shelve books. Or get supplies out of the closet someone's crying in.
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Jun 22, 2016 14:29
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I got a contract extension offer for another 6 months of my traveling consultant job, but I turned it down. I'm going home! 
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Jun 22, 2016 14:44
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As an MBA myself, I hate myself.
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Jun 22, 2016 15:10
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Can we take a step back and collaborate on where the added value is? I just think we need to touch base on how we're getting buy-in, going forward.
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Jun 22, 2016 15:15
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We need to put this project on the elevator and raise the level of synergy among our stakeholders.
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Jun 22, 2016 15:35
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Trabant posted:As an MBA myself, I hate myself. At least you aren't an attorney. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IgJgDNhASyY
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Jun 22, 2016 16:04
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Actualize your instantiation.
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Jun 22, 2016 18:06
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I left my incredibly dysfunctional job about 3 weeks ago for greener and much more sane (so far) pastures. I gave my boss about a month's notice, turned over all my projects, and left the company on a good note. Monday night, I get a text from Old Boss asking where a certain file was. Innocent enough, but when he couldn't find it, he accused me of intentionally wiping my laptop to screw him over. Never mind the fact that the file was one I'd sent to him and Replacement last month, and all of my documents were on the shared drive where anyone could find them. When I told him that being accused and berated for something I didn't do made me a little less willing to help, he told me that corporate would be contacting me because they consider this an offence, and that I was not to contact him in any fashion ever again. Okay then. It's amusing to note that he gave me the highest score in Integrity and Professionalism on my last review 2 months ago. I'm mostly annoyed because there goes my reference for the past 5 years.
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Jun 22, 2016 18:36
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If a previous employer tried to contact me at all with a request for a file like that I would just ignore them. Your incompetence is no longer my problem, and I'm certainly not making myself available for whatever scapegoating your terrible culture promotes, gently caress off.
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Jun 22, 2016 18:37
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namaste faggots posted:Ask as a noun - what is the ask here Norman? I just heard that in a meeting this morning. "So what is your ask? "I don't have an ask. This is an inform. You need to tell me what your ask is based on my inform." I hadn't heard that before and thought it was a west coast regionalism.
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Jun 22, 2016 18:53
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mllaneza posted:At least you aren't an attorney. The only part of the song that's incorrect is how hard they make the MBA curriculum seem when it is, in fact, a joke. Maybe it's because I'm a snobby ex-engineer.
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Jun 22, 2016 18:55
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Pryor on Fire posted:If a previous employer tried to contact me at all with a request for a file like that I would just ignore them. Your incompetence is no longer my problem, and I'm certainly not making myself available for whatever scapegoating your terrible culture promotes, gently caress off. Pretty much. I was willing to answer transition-related questions for a week or so, buuuuuuuuuut...... 
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Jun 22, 2016 19:01
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When I gave my notice, my job tried to keep me on as a (paid) external advisor/consultant, just in case anything came up. I turned them down, but that's how a professional company handles this sort of thing.
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Jun 22, 2016 19:08
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Halloween Jack posted:More Americans are likely to forget that there's a North Korea than forget that there's a South Korea. As a North Korea hobbyist I find that pretty funny. How could I possibly forget THE BEST KOREA!
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Jun 22, 2016 19:26
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I'm not convinced Old Job knows the meaning of the word "professional". It was a railroad shop, and a pretty typical blue collar environment, but goddamn, was the management subpar. Story time! A year ago, there was a guy working for us who just wasn't quite right. The kind of guy that, if you heard of a shooting taking place in your town, you would immediately think of him. Liked guns, explosives, and threatening people. Bragged about a decade long army career and how much he enjoyed killing people. He came in one day talking about how his girlfriend cheated on him, that she was going to "get what she deserved" and that he was going to kill her. If it were anyone else talking, you might think oh, he’s just venting, blowing off steam, whatever. But since it was that guy, we thought that maybe the cops should be informed, just in case. So the cops are called, and they’re going to send someone down to take a report. Unhinged Guy had left work early that day, but came back to change clothes. In his truck, he had his cat, his one year old daughter that he was in the process of kidnapping, and I think at least 3 guns. While he was changing in the locker room, the cops showed up to take their report. He ended up getting arrested for an old outstanding warrant, and the cops managed to contact the kid’s mom, who didn’t know the kid was gone. She shows up, with her arms covered in bruises, apologizing for the way he was acting, and that it wasn’t his fault, it was her fault for making him angry. She also mentioned that he had a storage garage loaded with tons of illegal weapons, and that we should expect him when he got out of jail. Which was about two hours later. He came back to the shop, intending to find the guy who called the cops and “put him in the hospital for being a snitch”. The cops were called again, he was banned from the property, and that was the last we heard of him. Until he called Boss asking for his job back a few days later. Boss said no, because Unhinged Guy badmouthed him on Facebook.
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Jun 22, 2016 20:08
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C-Euro posted:Oh yeah duh, thanks. The final count was 12 on the day, including one where I'm pretty sure she copied a previous email verbatim, and another where she called me five minutes after sending a message, to ask about said message. My co-worker gets like this. 'It's been 15 minutes, they might not have gotten the email! Email them again then immediately call to confirm they got the email(s)!'
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Jun 22, 2016 20:22
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Anthony Rapp posted:I left my incredibly dysfunctional job about 3 weeks ago for greener and much more sane (so far) pastures. I gave my boss about a month's notice, turned over all my projects, and left the company on a good note. Monday night, I get a text from Old Boss asking where a certain file was. Innocent enough, but when he couldn't find it, he accused me of intentionally wiping my laptop to screw him over. Never mind the fact that the file was one I'd sent to him and Replacement last month, and all of my documents were on the shared drive where anyone could find them. When I told him that being accused and berated for something I didn't do made me a little less willing to help, he told me that corporate would be contacting me because they consider this an offence, and that I was not to contact him in any fashion ever again. Okay then. It's amusing to note that he gave me the highest score in Integrity and Professionalism on my last review 2 months ago. That's when you keep the message and send it to the old companies HR department with a notice, if this effects my reference I will go to the labour board.
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Jun 22, 2016 20:47
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Trabant posted:The only part of the song that's incorrect is how hard they make the MBA curriculum seem when it is, in fact, a joke. As a geologist that also has a MBA, I concur. Business majors flipping out over the absolute simplest possible calculus never, ever got old.
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Jun 22, 2016 21:23
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Ornamented Death posted:As a geologist that also has a MBA, I concur. Business majors flipping out over the absolute simplest possible calculus never, ever got old. The first university I attended had what was basically an IT major, which I chose because I didn't think I wanted to be a software engineer at the time (I was wrong). One of the requirements for this program was "Calculus for Business" which was effectively "Calculus for People Who Can't Do Arithmetic." Two weeks into this course was when I first started thinking about changing majors into something more technical (which I did, after changing schools for a multitude of other reasons); it was almost shocking how remedial this course was that still called itself "Calculus."
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Jun 22, 2016 21:30
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Ornamented Death posted:As a geologist that also has a MBA, I concur. Business majors flipping out over the absolute simplest possible calculus never, ever got old. I'm a mech engineer and loved the amount of MBA students who couldn't do basic math in the intro to accounting course.
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Jun 22, 2016 22:26
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Sundae posted:I just heard that in a meeting this morning. "So what is your ask? "I don't have an ask. This is an inform. You need to tell me what your ask is based on my inform." I hadn't heard that before and thought it was a west coast regionalism. omgggggg what the gently caress is an inform
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Jun 22, 2016 22:47
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namaste faggots posted:omgggggg what the gently caress is an inform It appears to be something you tell people. You know... like communication or the passing of information between two members of the same sentient species. But instead of talking about it like reasonable human beings, you nounify the verb and break the English language.  Seriously though, I loving love my new job. This place is so great.
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Jun 22, 2016 23:12
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Sundae posted:It appears to be something you tell people. You know... like communication or the passing of information between two members of the same sentient species. But instead of talking about it like reasonable human beings, you nounify the verb and break the English language. Quoting this so I can find it after the honeymoon is over.
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Jun 22, 2016 23:35
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Apprentice Dick posted:I'm a mech engineer and loved the amount of MBA students who couldn't do basic math in the intro to accounting course. To be fair to them, the problem with accounting isn't the actual math, it's knowing where and when to do the math. I salute accounting majors, that poo poo takes a mindset that is completely alien to me.
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Jun 23, 2016 02:46
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Sundae posted:It appears to be something you tell people. You know... like communication or the passing of information between two members of the same sentient species. But instead of talking about it like reasonable human beings, you nounify the verb and break the English language. I guess its Bay Area parlance. When I do inform someone of something at work, or if I'm informed of something at work, there's usually some kind of ask associated with the information being provided. Otherwise, you're just talking. Maybe I've lived in the Bay Area for too long.
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Jun 23, 2016 03:32
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Apprentice Dick posted:I'm a mech engineer and loved the amount of MBA students who couldn't do basic math in the intro to accounting course. Which means that business majors, when presented with "multiply two numbers together", are expected to look up the answer in a book
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Jun 23, 2016 03:43
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Shadowhand00 posted:I guess its Bay Area parlance. When I do inform someone of something at work, or if I'm informed of something at work, there's usually some kind of ask associated with the information being provided. Otherwise, you're just talking. But do you use "inform" as a noun? Like, "Hey, a quick inform for you--Susie's out sick today." I'm just curious since this is a new one to me. It's so weird how every corporation everywhere butchers their local languages.
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Jun 23, 2016 04:31
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Also, let's not forget to throw "takeaway" on to the pyre of "business" "English".
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Jun 23, 2016 13:54
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I have an 8 hour "roadshow" meeting to go to today. It's mandatory. Breakfast is provided if I show up an hour early. The key takeaway here is that their apparent ask is to increase my desire to be permanently out of pocket. :mbasay:
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Jun 23, 2016 14:36
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namaste faggots posted:Also, let's not forget to throw "takeaway" on to the pyre of "business" "English". Yesterday I ordered takeaway Chinese
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Jun 23, 2016 15:20
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Please do the needful and give me your inform when I give you my ask.
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Jun 23, 2016 15:40
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going forward
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Jun 23, 2016 15:42
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People, in the coming year, we need to holistically disrupt our content marketing. I found a buzzword generator and it's so true I can't handle it
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Jun 23, 2016 15:49
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