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tacodaemon posted:You ever see those comic book ads from the 70s for the apple-carving kits that are supposed to look like shrunken heads when the apple dries out? no but I wish I had
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# ? Jun 27, 2016 01:18 |
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# ? May 27, 2024 03:33 |
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One more seed in the bottom left apple half and we'd have loss.jpg Then again, if seed were missing we wouldn't have loss.jpg
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# ? Jun 27, 2016 03:14 |
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Tunicate posted:
My 3rd grade teacher tried to do that speech. She didn't do it as eloquently, but she used the same analogy as the story. The fact was that she liked smashing up her apples before she ate them for some reason and used it as a teaching moment. It failed miserably; none of us learned anything except that our teacher was weird and liked bruised apples. I was made far stupider for her efforts. I also tried bruising an apple to see why she liked it. Don't try it. It's disgusting.
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# ? Jun 27, 2016 03:35 |
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Bobby Digital posted:One more seed in the bottom left apple half and we'd have loss.jpg
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# ? Jun 27, 2016 03:37 |
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I've got bones of steel!
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# ? Jun 27, 2016 06:48 |
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tacodaemon posted:You ever see those comic book ads from the 70s for the apple-carving kits that are supposed to look like shrunken heads when the apple dries out? I did that as a kid in the 70's. You just get an apple and peel it, then carve the face into it. Then soak it in salt water for a few days and let it dry out.
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# ? Jun 27, 2016 09:37 |
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mostlygray posted:My 3rd grade teacher tried to do that speech. She didn't do it as eloquently, but she used the same analogy as the story. The fact was that she liked smashing up her apples before she ate them for some reason and used it as a teaching moment. And that teacher was Mrs. Gallagher.
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# ? Jun 27, 2016 11:15 |
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Horus Gilgamesh, author of the picture books Awkward Moments (not found in your average) Children's Bible Vols. 1 and 2, produced this quality STDH a couple of months ago:quote:While waiting for the airport shuttle to arrive at my hotel in Dallas this week, I was enjoying a Lone Star waffle and sipping my coffee in the lobby/cafe across from two older gentlemen rambling on and on about Muslims and terrorists and Muslims and abortion and Muslims, and well… you get the idea. I’ll do my best to paraphrase what was actually a lengthy discussion that began when an image of President Obama appeared on the TV screen above the juice machine. I left out the part where Mr. Gilgamesh discusses the picture in Volume 2 of his book illustrating that particular episode.
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# ? Jun 29, 2016 17:00 |
Pththya-lyi posted:They both shrugged in skeptical agreement, looking as if they had stumbled upon a bit of street magic that intrigued them, but might also turn them gay. A typical kind of street magic.
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# ? Jun 29, 2016 21:03 |
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The old testament being full of questionable poo poo isn't exactly unknown to most people. My religious mother explains it away saying there were different rules before Jesus came along. And as long winded as it is, it STILL follows the STDH formula.
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# ? Jun 30, 2016 03:49 |
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I love how in all of those stories the obvious idiot bad guys always stick around and continue talking long enough for the guy to make his point and be smug about it. Also "Horus Gilgamesh", really?
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# ? Jun 30, 2016 07:55 |
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Pththya-lyi posted:Horus Gilgamesh This is as far as I got before groaning. And it just keeps going from there.
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# ? Jun 30, 2016 08:13 |
I found his website. Assuming he's being honest about his origins, he grew up as a dyed-in-the-wool evangelist Christian and was 100% faithful and annoying until he went to Africa and realized that none of the starving, dehydrated children he encountered on his mission trip wanted a Bible as much as they wanted some goddamn food.
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# ? Jun 30, 2016 14:02 |
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Does anyone actually ever "wag their finger" as described near the end of the story outside of cartoons?
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# ? Jun 30, 2016 14:31 |
Murphy Brownback posted:Does anyone actually ever "wag their finger" as described near the end of the story outside of cartoons? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7SdhtxuJYA
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# ? Jun 30, 2016 15:24 |
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Murphy Brownback posted:Does anyone actually ever "wag their finger" as described near the end of the story outside of cartoons?
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# ? Jun 30, 2016 15:30 |
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chitoryu12 posted:I found his website. Assuming he's being honest about his origins, he grew up as a dyed-in-the-wool evangelist Christian and was 100% faithful and annoying until he went to Africa and realized that none of the starving, dehydrated children he encountered on his mission trip wanted a Bible as much as they wanted some goddamn food. Hardcore atheists pretending to have been super missionaries are cut from the same cloth as those youth pastors who pretend they did hardcore drugs and worshipped Satan in their youth. They just lie for legitimacy.
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# ? Jun 30, 2016 15:59 |
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# ? Jun 30, 2016 17:21 |
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We used to finger wag after we beat certain teams in fencing but it was solely to be as smug as possible.
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# ? Jun 30, 2016 17:53 |
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EmmyOk posted:We used to finger wag after we beat certain teams in fencing but it was solely to be as smug as possible. It's rapscallions like you who are ruining the noble pass time of fencing *readjusts monocle*
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# ? Jun 30, 2016 18:02 |
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EmmyOk posted:We used to finger wag after we beat certain teams in fencing but it was solely to be as smug as possible. I was mostly referring to it in the context of the story, where it was done in anger, not mocking. e: unless for some reason the author of the stdh used "wag his finger" to mean "give the finger", then I could believe it. It just seems like the standard finger wag was a weird reaction to that situation that I can't imagine a real person having. yeah I eat ass has a new favorite as of 18:30 on Jun 30, 2016 |
# ? Jun 30, 2016 18:28 |
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lameborghini's story sounds like the kind of bullshit rumors high schoolers spread about other girls they don't like (e.g. this story). Then thesmashingofpumpkins tries to one-up lameborghini.
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# ? Jun 30, 2016 18:48 |
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Murphy Brownback posted:I was mostly referring to it in the context of the story, where it was done in anger, not mocking. Ususally if someone says waving a finger in the face they mean pointing up close
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# ? Jun 30, 2016 19:04 |
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EmmyOk posted:Ususally if someone says waving a finger in the face they mean pointing up close The story didn't say "waving a finger in the face" though, it said he wagged his finger, through a window. The point is it's just as much of a hallmark of stdh as "stamping their feet" or "turning beet red/ghost white" or "running for the door". It's not something people do.
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# ? Jun 30, 2016 19:21 |
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my school's halls were canals of jizz, we took gondolas to class
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# ? Jun 30, 2016 21:58 |
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Responses are full of people telling him how awesome he is.
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# ? Jul 1, 2016 00:53 |
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Pththya-lyi posted:lameborghini's story sounds like the kind of bullshit rumors high schoolers spread about other girls they don't like (e.g. this story). Then thesmashingofpumpkins tries to one-up lameborghini. Ladies, you just can't trust hotdogs.
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# ? Jul 1, 2016 03:23 |
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The comments of people not getting it are the best
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# ? Jul 1, 2016 03:33 |
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quote:I just wasted 10 minutes of my life on this. How the hell did that take 10 minutes to read?
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# ? Jul 1, 2016 10:51 |
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Selachian posted:
"well if my guy can't win I'm taking my ball and going home." *pouts* What a smug idiot.
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# ? Jul 1, 2016 14:08 |
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Fathis Munk posted:"well if my guy can't win I'm taking my ball and going home." *pouts* The thing that gets me is, I know some of the people who are giving this guy attaboys, and they're not stupid -- but none of them shows a flicker of doubt about this "I confronted a political opponent, turned back all her arguments with the sheer force of pure reason, and left her spluttering helplessly" bullshit story.
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# ? Jul 1, 2016 18:11 |
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Selachian posted:The thing that gets me is, I know some of the people who are giving this guy attaboys, and they're not stupid -- but none of them shows a flicker of doubt about this "I confronted a political opponent, turned back all her arguments with the sheer force of pure reason, and left her spluttering helplessly" bullshit story. If you don't pretend to believe other peoples bullshit on the internet, then they are not going to believe yours.
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# ? Jul 1, 2016 18:14 |
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Also people just like entertaining stories sometimes.
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# ? Jul 1, 2016 18:16 |
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Atmus posted:Also people just like entertaining stories sometimes. STDH: that story being anything close to being worthy of the word "entertaining".
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# ? Jul 1, 2016 18:57 |
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oldpainless posted:If you don't pretend to believe other peoples bullshit on the internet, then they are not going to believe yours. Ding ding ding! And that's why places like TV Tropes exist.
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# ? Jul 1, 2016 19:17 |
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Melted snowflake refers to it as the "The Economy of Belief" which I think is a nice term.
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# ? Jul 1, 2016 22:46 |
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Tunicate posted:Melted snowflake refers to it as the "The Economy of Belief" which I think is a nice term. Oh gently caress Melted Snowflake is back? I mean not like new content back but I know they had been taken down for a while because people cried so hard.
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# ? Jul 2, 2016 00:40 |
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Revolverquote:At times, it seems This Troper's father is a walking Crowning Moment Of Awesome. The incident that springs to mind most immediately is the following. We live near an enclave of Jehova's Witnesses, and for years they pestered us godless heathens, trying to convert us to their religion (as they are wont to do). My father finally got sick of it, and one day as they came to make another attempt, he was just out of the shower. So my father, a soaking wet, hairy, middle-aged man, greets them at the door. Naked. They have not come back since. Bullies quote:This troper finally got bored with people bullying him at school, and so after three months of planning and laying groundwork, he managed to round up all 9 of the people who had been making his life a misery, coaxed them into the school basement, locked the door with the only key, and promptly switched off the fuses for the basement lights, and used the PA to send them ax crazy messages based on a test i asked a friend to run on them (Who claimed it was for their pyschology.) as to what would freak each and every one of them out, and did so for the better part of two hours, until finally unlocking the door silently, sneaking in, locking the door behind me, and getting a friend to turn the lights back on. Two of them actually wet themselves, and not one of them has come near me since. It's such a shame we don't have a section for 'crowning moment of batshit crazy'. Knife quote:This is more of a Crowning Moment of 'that guy is crazy'. It was the first time I ever stood up to a bully, and happened when the bullies in my hometown started pulling poo poo in public. When I was 16 there was an episode during class that got two other students expelled from class, and they blamed me. The normal procedure around here to beat up someone is to get them at the gates with a bunch of backup on both sides, so at the end of the day, there were eight guys waiting for me by the gate. But I didn't have backup. Instead of going eight on one, they decided to make empty threats. I just said "gently caress you guys, I'm going home". Next day, they spent the entire day making threats, blocking my way in the hallways, spitting at my feet, etc. At the end of the day, an entirely unrelated guy bumps into me and grabs a friend of mine by the neck, accusing him of stealing his girlfriend. I tried to defuse the situation peacefully, but the guy just called me a pothead and started threatening me too. I was understandably pissed off at this point, so I pulled a knife on the guy. He ran for it, and the leader of the other guys (who was watching) ran too. At night he calls me to apologize. It tasted good. Brick quote:In this troper's Junior year of high school, a guy in his class that many people found terribly annoying was sitting behind him, throwing bits of paper in his hair. This troper told him several times to stop, and he did not. Finally, getting fed up, he turned around, grabbed the guy by his hair, pulled his head forward and bashed his head against the brick wall. The troper's friends were dumbstruck. The teacher did nothing but sit there, agape, while a lot of people in class applauded. This is not the best part. The best part is the guy this troper attacked did not retaliate. This troper recently found out why, from a person whom the victim told: he was terrified of this troper. This troper, who had never been in any sort of physical confrontation, nor committed a single act of aggression throughout high school. The guy went on to join Army Special Forces, and is still afraid of this troper, after four years.
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# ? Jul 2, 2016 03:03 |
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Khazar-khum posted:In this troper's Junior year of high school, a guy in his class that many people found terribly annoying was sitting behind him, throwing bits of paper in his hair. This troper told him several times to stop, and he did not. Finally, getting fed up, he turned around, grabbed the guy by his hair, pulled his head forward and bashed his head against the brick wall. The troper's friends were dumbstruck. The teacher did nothing but sit there, agape, while a lot of people in class applauded. This is not the best part. The best part is the guy this troper attacked did not retaliate. This troper recently found out why, from a person whom the victim told: he was terrified of this troper. This troper, who had never been in any sort of physical confrontation, nor committed a single act of aggression throughout high school. The guy went on to join Army Special Forces, and is still afraid of this troper, after four years. At last, it sounds like one of these dweebs will be on the receiving end of one of these insane revenge fantasies they all love so much. "This crazy rear end in a top hat in high school smashed my head into a brick wall, so I went off and got hella swole and I'm going to beat him until he shits bone fragments at our ten year reunion."
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# ? Jul 2, 2016 03:15 |
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# ? May 27, 2024 03:33 |
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quote:with a revolver stuck down the front of his pants, a cowboy hat on, and an open bear Wow, yeah, I do see how that would be disturbing to som- oh
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# ? Jul 2, 2016 03:16 |