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Carmant posted:Well. Its better than all this other crap advice. Thanks. 
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Jul 4, 2016 22:01
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| # ? Jun 10, 2024 08:44 |
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Feels mad gay
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Jul 4, 2016 22:04
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Carmant posted:I agree. Im not that guy though, I'm actually uglier. pics
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Jul 4, 2016 22:23
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Carmant posted:I dont want a wife I want someone who is attracted to me. And here I thought you didn't have a sense of humour! I'm curious, though - aside from taking to the forums, what are you doing to put yourself out there?
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Jul 4, 2016 22:37
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You're looking for outside validation but buddy you gotta find that within yourself. Next time you take a shower when you get out take some time to really look at yourself in the mirror. Find something you like about yourself. Maybe it's your kind blue eyes, the gentle curve that gracefully arcs down from your hip to your groin, the way your hair stands up with goose bumps and you slowly glide your fingers down over your nipples...your stomach...inching ever closer.
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Jul 4, 2016 22:43
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it feels good until you realize that one of you will probably let the other one down and everything will fall apart and life will ultimately end and the earth will be swollowed by the dying sun and nothing really matters at all
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Jul 4, 2016 22:51
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Mr Toes posted:And here I thought you didn't have a sense of humour! I'm curious, though - aside from taking to the forums, what are you doing to put yourself out there? Im in a pool right now
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Jul 4, 2016 23:17
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op just catfish and get that same satisfaction if you were attractive you don't even need to leave the pool
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Jul 5, 2016 00:06
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The Cosby Mysteries posted:op just catfish and get that same satisfaction if you were attractive That doesnt seem like it would be the same amount of satisfaction.
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Jul 5, 2016 00:30
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Friend, confidant: armor yourself. Take the shreds of your shame and disgust, and wrap them about you as if a cloak. What is it like, to like yourself? Within 50 feet of you, a blind, sexless earthworm burrows through the ground. Perspective is all, and all is change. If you do not like yourself, change yourself. It will be hard. It will hurt. Do it anyways. And please, for the love of all that is holy, do not take this advice the wrong way. I don't want to read a story about how some dude cut off a bunch of his skin and made a cloak out of it. Actually, no cloaks in general. That was a simile, not something to literally do. Please also avoid making any cloaks out of the women that you want to be attracted to you. That's also bad. You know what, just forget about the cloak.
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Jul 5, 2016 00:49
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Half-wit posted:Friend, confidant: armor yourself. Guh?
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Jul 5, 2016 00:56
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Carmant posted:Guh?
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Jul 5, 2016 00:57
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just get lucky and find a cool girl who likes you for some reason op its not that hard
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Jul 5, 2016 03:07
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OP is desperate to blame something outside of his control for his lack of success with the opposite sex. pathetic, OP
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Jul 5, 2016 03:14
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Back in the late 90s there was this Russian anime-loving broad who was completely obsessed with me, stalking the gently caress out of me on anime forums  and ICQ. It loving sucked. I was 17 and she was like 26, and still a virgin. I later saw her photo and all I could think of was that she looks like 'a radioactive chicken from Chernobyl.'
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Jul 5, 2016 03:22
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GAY 4 ORGANS
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...I mean I was just as stupid as she was, getting 10,000 word emails written in Russian every single day should have set off a few alarm bells. I think that she fell for me because I was probably the first guy ever who was genuinely kind to her - - not because I had any ulterior motives but because I'm polite to everyone both OTI and IRL. It was a cringeworthy anime/IRC saga that dragged on for over a year, maybe I'll post about it in e/n someday.
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Jul 5, 2016 03:32
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Now is a good time.
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Jul 5, 2016 03:33
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:...I mean I was just as stupid as she was, getting 10,000 word emails written in Russian every single day should have set off a few alarm bells. I think that she fell for me because I was probably the first guy ever who was genuinely kind to her - - not because I had any ulterior motives but because I'm polite to everyone both OTI and IRL. oh no no no no no you don't get to drop a tidbit like that and leave get to it
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Jul 5, 2016 03:36
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if you can find a girl who loves cum dont let her go
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Jul 5, 2016 03:39
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ButteCysts posted:just get lucky and find a cool girl who likes you for some reason op its not that hard How do I do this
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Jul 5, 2016 03:46
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Hector Beerlioz posted:How do I do this It's not possible.
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Jul 5, 2016 03:53
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Hector Beerlioz posted:How do I do this lies mostly
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Jul 5, 2016 04:01
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its easy all you need to do is get a time machine and go back to high school where you ruined your lives and start from scratch
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Jul 5, 2016 04:38
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Okay, here goes. She and I met by chance on a random anime forum back in... uhh was it 1998? Nevermind. The internet has changed a great deal since those times, now we have anime torrents, social networking sites that attract average people and stuff, but in 1998 the internet was a lair of complete losers and actual women on the internet were as rare as hen's teeth in those days. Anyway, I noticed a russian broad who was posting about anime in quite rudimentary pidgin english, I wouldn't go as far as to call it engrish, but it was pretty bad. I then did a tremendous mistake of messaging her in Russian - - that very same year, I stole a Russian language high school textbook from 1949 containing poems about Stalin, from which I began to study Russian. I thought it would be cool to have a penpal from Russia with whom I'd be able to perfect my language skills (and conversely, she would learn English from me.) This does sound completely pedestrian in 2016, but in 1998 it must have been absolutely astounding that some random schmuck would message you in your own, non-english language. ON THE INTERNET!!!  Anyway, the forums were packed with lovelorn, middle-aged ladies who had way too much time on their hands, and who kept themselves busy discussing every minute detail they could read out from poo poo like Sailor Moon and Fushigi Yuugi. Anyways, some of them decided to assume a role of an e-cupid, and started egging both me and her to became closer. Sure, these days you'd immediately see that they were fishing for drama, but the concept of love over the internet must have sounded pretty amazing in 1998.The lady and I kept exchanging e-mails over the following months. She would write me in Russian and I'd respond in English. Her mails gradually got longer and longer until the point where she'd literally write me five paragraphs about how she vacuumed the rug today and similar mundane poo poo that is of no interest to anybody. At the same time, she confessed to the other forumgoers about being 26 and a virgin. The other forums ladies started egging me to fly to Moscow and bone her (one of them went as far as to suggest that she'd pay the airline fare for me.  Yeah, I don't know either.)The forums' ladies started dropping cues onto me about her wanting me to pop her cherry, telling me roundabout tales about a princess who is waiting for her prince at the tower and has a key to her chest. This went over my head completely, because I was just as autistic in 1998 as I am today - I replied by saying that I'll use a blowtorch and a crowbar to open her chest, but that I'm probably not allowed to bring those on an airplane along with me. I'm sure everybody was facepalming about this just as I'm facepalming about it today in 2016. At the same time, I was involved in a autistic internet pseudoromance with a 15 year old girl, who was a Muslim refugee from Bosnia. Looking in retrospect, she bore striking resemblance to Osama bin Laden and must have weighed like 200 pounds or something, but I didn't care too much. The Russian lady, however, grew intensely jealous of the 15-year old, and she'd try to divert my attention to herself at any cost. IM stalking, poetry-filled e-mails, and probably a bunch of other poo poo such as dropping hints that she'd clean up my apartment if she ever came over - which I interpreted as her trying to sell herself over the internet like a mail-order bride. This got me worried a bit. At this point, things really started going downhill. I once asked her what she's doing in life; if she's studying, working or something. She gave me a wishy-washy reply in which she admitted that she's some sort of office worker, that her daddy landed her that job and that she's spending the days doing gently caress all because she obviously had plenty of time to write personal poetry to me. At this point, my autism kicked into high gear: her daddy got her a job, she lives in Moscow, is potentially a mail order bride, and YEOWTCH: she must be a Russian Mafia princess. This got me very worried, especially in the light of the fact that I saw a picture of her posing with her dad, and her dad had a beard and a shotgun. I then tried to mend things by backpedaling. I made it clear that I'm interested only in the Bosnian girl. She disregarded everything and kept stalking me. So yeah, she was too dense for this world, and I then started trolling her. Why? Because I loving could. I put on a big poo poo-eating grin and asked her to go to one of Moscow's flea markets and buy me vintage Soviet electronics which are collectible as gently caress. I didn't really expect this to go through (at what point do you realize you're being trolled?) but to my surprise, she seriously sent me no less than FOUR boxes of collectible Soviet poo poo with combined weight of like sixty pounds. Even back then, I thought that the joke had gone too far ( today we call this phenomenon "troll's remorse") so I went out of my way and actually sent her a box of Sailor Moon VHS tapes.  At this point, I knew that the situation became too cringeworthy to continue in any form. I gradually broke the ties with her and started posting under a new set of sockpuppets. I eventually realized that it's just not worth the effort anymore so I pulled the plug on everything and went elsewhere. The epilogue. I did come back a few times to the community, talked to her and stuff, and she was obviously hiding her butthurt and even tried to make me feel envious of her - she told me on how she had found a boyfriend, but considering the fact that she was a criminally ugly, 26 year old virgin, this doesn't really sound plausible at all. Anyways I severed for good. As far as the Bosnian girl was considered, I severed from her too. I was too awkward and autistic, and she looked like a particularly obese Wookie. Sometimes an ostensibly lose-lose situation can be interpreted as a win-win!  Oh, and about the electronics - I sold them for really good money back in 2011 when I was moving out of my old place and didn't fancy taking fifty pounds of plastic and phenollic with me. Welp, thats the story.
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Jul 5, 2016 04:40
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genesplicer posted:One day, long ago, I was really busy at work. One of my more attractive coworkers stopped by my workstation. She wanted to ask me a question or something, but I was on the phone with the main office, trying to get a major computer problem cleared up. She waited for a moment, then asked for a piece of paper and a pen. I handed it over to her and went back to my call. A couple minutes later she handed me back the pad and pen, smiled at me and left. It wasn't until about 15 minutes later that I needed to write something down, grabbed the same pad, then noticed that she had written "I stopped by to see if you wanted to go out. Call me." and included her phone number. I can corroborate that there are some chicks out there who are attracted to the nerdy types. I married one and dated several others.
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Jul 5, 2016 09:02
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What about dorky types.
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Jul 5, 2016 09:37
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Carmant posted:Is it cool? Sometimes I feel like its probably not even that great but I don't know. It's cool the first few dozen times but after that it is kinda sad because you know from the start that you're going to break them. Physical attraction can change based on emotional or intellectual attraction, so even if you are below average there are a lot of things you can do that will help women find you more attractive. Listening to them and treating them like a person is a good start.
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Jul 5, 2016 09:41
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Kurtofan posted:What about dorky types. Believe it or not I have even seen dorky guys get dorky gfs it's a wonderful and cute thing
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Jul 5, 2016 09:46
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monkey posted:It's cool the first few dozen times but after that it is kinda sad because you know from the start that you're going to break them. It's kinda hard when they suddenly look down at their shoes or their phone when you pass by or get on the elevators together 
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Jul 5, 2016 10:26
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Wicker Man posted:It's kinda hard when they suddenly look down at their shoes or their phone when you pass by or get on the elevators together This never happens to me, but I don't try to pick up women on the sidewalk and especially not in elevators because that's loving creepy. I find that walking down the street if you avoid eye contact with attractive women and shift your path slightly to avoid their personal space they will often unconsciously do that thing where they fiddle with their hair or whatever, at which point you can make eye contact and smile a little and they'll usually return the smile or at least acknowledge you in a positive way. You wont get laid that way but it's an easy confidence booster.
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Jul 5, 2016 10:50
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monkey posted:I find that walking down the street if you avoid eye contact with attractive women and shift your path slightly to avoid their personal space they will often unconsciously do that thing where they fiddle with their hair or whatever, at which point you can make eye contact and smile a little and they'll usually return the smile or at least acknowledge you in a positive way. You wont get laid that way but it's an easy confidence booster. this happens to me all the time and its why i know im a model material and better than lets say brad pitt. i call him bad pitt now as i have surpassed him in beauty
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Jul 5, 2016 11:04
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Drunk & Ugly posted:this happens to me all the time and its why i know im a model material and better than lets say brad pitt. i call him bad pitt now as i have surpassed him in beauty Sorry to burst your bubble but it happens to me all the time too and I am average looking.
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Jul 5, 2016 11:13
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monkey posted:This never happens to me, but I don't try to pick up women on the sidewalk and especially not in elevators because that's loving creepy. I find that walking down the street if you avoid eye contact with attractive women and shift your path slightly to avoid their personal space they will often unconsciously do that thing where they fiddle with their hair or whatever, at which point you can make eye contact and smile a little and they'll usually return the smile or at least acknowledge you in a positive way. You wont get laid that way but it's an easy confidence booster. I should have mentioned that I'm referring only to saying hi or simple eye contact. I didn't mean I was shouting "what's your name" in a tone - deaf voice at these times.
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Jul 5, 2016 11:17
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lol just lol if people dont move out of your way out of sheer fear while you float on by with your well muscled arms crossed.
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Jul 5, 2016 11:21
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Wicker Man posted:I should have mentioned that I'm referring only to saying hi or simple eye contact. I didn't mean I was shouting "what's your name" in a tone - deaf voice at these times. To attractive women, men are divided into creeps and gentlemen. Trying to force eye contact or say hi is generally something that creeps do. Respecting personal space is generally something that gentlemen do.
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Jul 5, 2016 11:36
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monkey posted:To attractive women, men are divided into creeps and gentlemen. Trying to force eye contact or say hi is generally something that creeps do. Respecting personal space is generally something that gentlemen do. Lol nice fedora monkey! Or should I say gaylord!!!!!!!
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Jul 5, 2016 12:03
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Jukeboxblues posted:Lol nice fedora monkey! Or should I say gaylord!!!!!!! Conducting oneself like a gentleman does not actually make one a gentleman. I am an old sly dog, for instance, the same way that pretty girls will unconsciously primp their hair on approach if you don't creep them out, girls with nice butts also primp their butts after they pass just in case you look. I know this because I look.
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Jul 5, 2016 12:48
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:Okay, here goes. give me her AIM
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Jul 5, 2016 12:55
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monkey posted:Conducting oneself like a gentleman does not actually make one a gentleman. I am an old sly dog, for instance, the same way that pretty girls will unconsciously primp their hair on approach if you don't creep them out, girls with nice butts also primp their butts after they pass just in case you look. I know this because I look. Shut the gently caress up
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Jul 5, 2016 13:39
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| # ? Jun 10, 2024 08:44 |
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monkey posted:Physical attraction can change based on emotional or intellectual attraction, so even if you are below average there are a lot of things you can do that will help women find you more attractive. Listening to them and treating them like a person is a good start. This sounds like some BS dude
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Jul 5, 2016 14:23
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