Solice Kirsk posted:

What's the animal husbandry one?

Krowley posted:

Pet subforum mod killed some birds by keeping a radiator too close to the cage

Krowley posted:

Pet subforum mod killed some birds by keeping a radiator too close to the cage

Krowley posted:

Pet subforum mod killed some birds by keeping a radiator too close to the cage

Lottery of Babylon posted:

and also probated Twisty for asking questions about chickens in the Ask Questions About Chickens thread

Solice Kirsk posted:

What's with mods and hurting small defenseless things?!

Malachite_Dragon posted:

I feel that that should be expanded on with a few of the recent happenings.

Proposal: a hotdog shack busks for startup money on Kickstarter

Reality: A goon cancels christmas for his children to give all his money to an owner who turns out to be an unrepentant racist rear end in a top hat who ignores every kickstarter reward promised. A mod probates people who ask questions.

DOWN JACKET FETISH posted:

well the entire point of being a mod is to give out six-hour probations to pathetic goons, so

Guy Mann posted:

Replace all L4D2 graffiti with Jaden Smith tweets.

sebmojo posted:

Smythe posted:

So the other day I noticed a bunch of ants swaming my cum sock. This was pretty interesting to me, and it got me thinking: Occulus Rift POV Porn of the jizz inside the sock, just resting in the nice warm gym sock with his friends. They're not long for this world, being outside the safe and nurturing balls, but they don't know that and hell they're having a blast. They're relaxing and having a BBQ in a pool of seminal fluid. to my soldiers. Anyways, imagine if the ants come in and start loving poo poo up. They're wrecking everything. They're throwing the tables over and throwing spermbros into the pool with their clothes and cell phones on. Remember, ants have the strength of 100 men - these fuckers are not to be trifled with. So you can try to run, but this buff and fast ant is going to catch you. He's got you pinned down and he's pummeling you with his powerful arms and antennae.. and you're just so loving into it. He's so strong and so fast, and you're just a little helpwess glob of cool jizz - you aint got a chance against this Beast. After beating you for a while, just before you're about to cum your final load in total ecstasy agony, he throws you onto his back and brings you to the hive. You've never seen hot poo poo like this. Thousands of these insectoid hunks rolling around in the buck. Everywhere you look there's a sexy as hell head, thorax, or abdomen. you black out, the chemical communication is too powerful. Where are we now? look around Gordon ... this isn't the Combine anymore: it's the Queens Den. She towers over you. She's 20 stories high. Her huge tits are bouncing up and down and her 6 legs are so long and she has stiletto heels (think Kerrigan from SC2). She starts dominating you hard. Every move from every porno is getting doled out to you in powerful quick blows. Heels to the sperm-balls. Spit to the cum-dome. Slap to the teste-face. She's calling you a fag and you're so loving hard now. Up you go little sperm, easily taken into her powerful antennae. Her big mouth, thousands of tiny teeth - she's ripping you up and slipping your dead guts down her gullet. Into the head, down the abdomen, finally settle in the thorax. The inside of her perfect, 10 story long bulbous rear end; where you will digest for the rest of your short eternity. Game over, the princess is definitely in this castle.

Anyways, I don't really know how to program so if anyone wants to help me out, I'd be happy to write some more story!

atomicthumbs posted:

mmj posted:

I have no idea why, but the phrase "short eternity" is what annoyed me in that post.

Improbable Lobster posted:

Smythe is a treasure

OMG JC a Bomb! posted:

Patton Oswalt awakened in the night to find that his room was illuminated by a spectral glow. Levitating above his bed was the spirit of Oswalt's deceased wife clad in a shimmering white robe. She smiled as she held her arms out to her husband.

"My love! You've returned!" Patton cried as he moved to embrace her.

Suddenly the door crashed open. In walked a massive woman in a lovely jumpsuit with "Patty" embroidered on the breast. "Aw hell naw! Hold it right there before I bust some plasma in your rear end!" she screamed problematically.

A small scrawny woman wearing a matching uniform burst in behind Patty, licking the barrel of a giant futuristic weapon. "This is gonna hurt in the morning!" she shouted, blasting the terrified ghost with a round from her plasma bazooka.

The spirit screamed in agony as it exploded into a mass of ectoplasmic goo, coating everything in the room.

"Oh poo poo, it's all up in my pussy!" the scrawny woman whined.

Patton sobbed. The love of his life was now destroyed in every possible way, but he knew what must be done. He crawled across the floor and began polishing Patty's boots with his tongue. "Thank you, you brave, strong, well-developed characters," he said like a little bitch while swallowing chunks of his wife's immortal soul. "I'll buy everything you're selling! I need to be on the right side of history!"

"Mmm-hmm, that's right," Patty mumbled. "Be sure to get under the laces too."

PBS Newshour posted:

How did that thread became 166 pages long when I wasn't looking, jesus christ

PBS Newshour posted:

How did that thread became 166 pages long when I wasn't looking, jesus christ

om nom nom posted:

I don't know what made me think of this one but I'm glad I did, great to re read


https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3281586&pagenumber=1&perpage=40

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3290020&pagenumber=1&perpage=40

The first link is for reference (guy builds absurd zip line for kids camp, asks goons how to unfuck it) and the second link (fyad responds)is the funniest thing I have ever read on something awful. I'd quote it but all 15 pages of the fyad thread are gold I promise it's worth the click

du -hast posted:

Does anyone have the pictures from the thread somewhere? I really really want to see them again, they made the whole thing gold.

Dreddout posted:

BOOTY-ADE posted:

Couldn't find them on this site but found some on another one:

Darth123123 posted:

what makes it funnier is it looks like an incredible amount of actual work went into it, just not planning

Outrail posted:

Do you have a link to the Hawaiian fun times thread, or a run down?

Wilford Cutlery posted:

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3123495

Vernii posted:

From your updates, it appears to me that you may want to refocus and prioritize your efforts in this project. It seems very scattershot right now. My major is basically administration/management, and a lot of what you've posted seems to betray a lack of basic project organization and scope creep. This is dangerous for any project because it tends to lead to essential deliverables falling behind schedule, cost overrun, lowered morale, and so on (if not the outright failure of the project itself).

What you could do is sit down and write out exactly what you have in mind for all of this. Keep it phrased in terms of deliverable, which are actual tangible products (like your dwelling, trails, etc). Then from there, prioritize it based on what is most important to you to finish as soon as you can, and what you can finish at leisure.

From there, you figure out what materials, expertise, and steps are required to complete each deliverable, along with the time frame and budget you want to complete it with (and keep that realistic).

The biggest danger to beware is scope creep. Scope creep could basically be summed up as "Hey, wouldn't it be neat if we added [item]?" without considering the effects that it will have on the rest of the project first.

I can go into this stuff in more detail if you'd like. Hopefully you'll consider it, because at this point it definitely seems like you're going to end up with a bunch of Goons aimlessly hacking away at the jungle and accomplishing nothing important.

GETCHA PAPER UP posted:

As a graduate of a program that "is basically administration/management" I think he is doing a great job of exploring his land before dedicating to a strict plan.

Actually, you're enough of a buzzkill to make a very lucrative career crushing the hopes and dreams of office drones for years to come. So congrats, I guess.

Juanito posted:

Great threadfart there, buddy.

mischief posted:

Whereas you, young sir, armed with your freshly minted degree and a whole lot of go get 'em, are destined for the stars! You've got decades of reports to file, metrics to analyze, reports to file, and life to ignore. The sky is truly the limit with an administration/management major, you'll be middle management in no time! Boy won't that show everyone! And to think, all that time in high school people said you were annoying. Who knew annoying was a career opportunity? Best of luck and God speed!

Shadowgate posted:

lol... You are hilarious!

Vander posted:

You know what's a great motto? Do give out advice unless it's asked for.

a kitten posted:

Ingwit is one of the funniest posters to ever be on this site, so that one at least is a joke.

He took the already funny Ultimate Hustler thread and shot it through the stratosphere.

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2473759&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1

a kitten posted:

Ingwit is one of the funniest posters to ever be on this site, so that one at least is a joke.

He took the already funny Ultimate Hustler thread and shot it through the stratosphere.

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2473759&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1

quote:

"freud be sayin e'eyone wants to gently caress they mother, but most of em just gently caress yours instead"

many johnnys posted:

reasonable person appears on page 7:


hmm yes, a person with project management experience thinks this project is unfocused and disorganized and has advice to keep it on track. I wonder how goons will respond to this advice, immediately

ReelBigLizard posted:

2 stroke.
V8.
Tube frame.
Volvo Amazon.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mrhsUXnodfw

Pham Nuwen posted:

goon with bad opinions posted:

I don't really get this, it sounds like poo poo.

It's also a custom chassis with a non-Volvo engine in it... it's only a "Volvo Amazon" in that they've chopped up part of a Volvo to make the roof.

InitialDave posted:

Cutting things off for better performance is a pretty Amazon-like approach, though.

Dreddout posted:

SuperMechagodzilla posted:

In my Zootopia movie, a family of Zootopian apes gives birth to the first human, and she's got incredible powers like opposable thumbs & the superanimal intelligence to invent such as fire. The United States Armed Horses (that's an animal pun) are sent in to take her down, but she domesticates them. Seal Team Six, etc.

a kitten posted:

Ingwit is one of the funniest posters to ever be on this site, so that one at least is a joke.

He took the already funny Ultimate Hustler thread and shot it through the stratosphere.

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2473759&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1

JakeP posted:

My cousin accidently wandered into a gaybar trying to catch a weedle, and hes gay now, didn't even catch the weedle

TheMostFrench posted:

I hope he caught something larger than that.

Dely Apple posted:

He just has to explain he's chasing a bug and they'll treat him right.