www.reddit.com/r/relationships

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blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

What wealthy 53 year old even knows that Reddit exists, let alone knows to go there to post for relationship advice, and further thinks posting there for relationship advice is a good idea?

# ? Jul 24, 2016 04:32

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# ? Jun 9, 2024 09:44

Fat Shat Sings: Jan 24, 2016

mind the walrus posted:

I have had my share of bad relationships but I have yet to understand what it's like to just fall-in with someone that clearly mis-matched.

I'm terrible at relationships but my explanation is that people have been taught "Love Conquers All" so when every day with someone is literal torture it only proves you found true love if you put up with being incredibly unhappy in a terrible situation.

Basically people can be in love with the idea of being in love.

# ? Jul 24, 2016 05:07

flick my Mr. Bean: Nov 18, 2014

I think I've been pretty successful with women and relationships. That being said, I spent two and a half years with a girl that, in hindsight, doesn't even seem compatible as a friend. Incompatible interests, sex drives, personalities, diets, views, etc. I was in love with the idea of being in love with her and so was she.

# ? Jul 24, 2016 05:20

Thundercracker: Jun 25, 2004; Proudly serving the Ruinous Powers since as a veteran of the long war.; College Slice

Your Dead Gay Son posted:

I bet the neighbor has an older Samsung tv. It'll just dump thumbnails with no context necessarily

This is why all my porn is on a thumbnail sized flashdrive so I can chew and swallow it at a second's notice.

Just kidding! Who the gently caress saves porn in this day and age.

# ? Jul 24, 2016 06:54

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Im guessing for a lot of the ones where it's some sad dude getting walked over it's his first ltr and thinks putting up with anything is better than nothing. I knew a lot of late bloomers that ended up in lovely relationships but put up with it cause they felt like it was the best they could do.

Similar logic applies to the high school sweethearts who married their first bf/gf

# ? Jul 24, 2016 07:21

Centripetal Horse: Nov 22, 2009; Fuck money, get GBS

This could have bought you a half a tank of gas, lmfao -
Love, gromdul

ArbitraryC posted:

Im guessing for a lot of the ones where it's some sad dude getting walked over it's his first ltr and thinks putting up with anything is better than nothing. I knew a lot of late bloomers that ended up in lovely relationships but put up with it cause they felt like it was the best they could do.

Similar logic applies to the high school sweethearts who married their first bf/gf

I have a friend like that who could support an entire thread of this poo poo on his own. It's not reddit, but let me post one of my favorite stories about him and his wife:

My friend married this women after years of being her go-to provider despite her living with and having children with another man. When they married, in addition to bringing children to the relationship, she brought a bunch of dachshunds. One of the dogs has a hosed up spine which requires a doggie wheel chair, which of course cost my friend an arm and a leg. The broken dog just wheels around the house with poo poo falling out of his rear end, because he can't control his body from mid-point down. Anyway, his wife is obsessed with dachshunds, and they keep acquiring more of them. A number of years back, those "fuzzy couture" purses were all the rage. There were a bunch that were shaped like dachshunds. My friend had bought every kind except green (I think) for his new bride, who does not work. He asked for my help one day locating the green purse. It took hours, but we found one, and ordered it. I don't remember the cost, but it was not cheap. I see him a couple of weeks later, and find out that he had bought the wrong color dog purse, so his wife freaked out and screamed at him, accused him of not loving her, and banished him to the couch. The dude was sleeping on the couch in the house he pays for because he bought the wrong color novelty dog purse for a woman he had already bought every other color novelty dog purse for. His life is basically a never-ending series of this type of anecdote.

# ? Jul 24, 2016 10:02

insufficient guns: May 4, 2009; personally, I would
like to fuck Wall-E

Fat Shat Sings posted:

I'm terrible at relationships but my explanation is that people have been taught "Love Conquers All" so when every day with someone is literal torture it only proves you found true love if you put up with being incredibly unhappy in a terrible situation.

Basically people can be in love with the idea of being in love.

Thank you for putting into words what I've been trying to figure out how to say. I have one entire side of my family that constantly gets into relationships with spongy psycho losers, and when i try to say "hey maybe think about your past experiences and try to learn from them before you you start dating again," I am met with "What are you talking about? You're so negative and judgemental which is why you'll never find love! Being with (rear end in a top hat) WAS THE BEST TIME OF MY LIFE even if it didn't work out"

I am also a generation younger than these people.

# ? Jul 24, 2016 12:21

Pretty good: Apr 16, 2007

We got married a couple months ago in May, been dating for about two years prior to that, for background. I'll call him Mike.

Today a friend messaged me with a link attached saying "is this Mike???" It was a video that someone had recorded on their phone in a McDonald's of, indeed, Mike losing his temper and yelling at a cashier. I'm not exactly clear why but according to the video description it's because they were out of an item he wanted to order. The video goes on for several minutes and at various points during it, he verbally attacks at the female employee behind the counter calling her a bitch, insults other customers who try to get him to calm down, and says things about "women wanting extra rights over men" (I don't know what this had to do with the situation at all).
I am loving mortified. I've not yet decided how to respond to the friend who messaged me but I'm terrified she'll send it to other friends or family or maybe already has. If it's on the internet anyone could see it and think I've married an absolute idiot. This was posted a couple weeks ago and I don't remember what happened on the exact day it was posted but around that general time he had been stressed about a situation at work. So I'm not pretending that the video doesn't show an awful side of him, but this is not who he really is and everyone has off days. However people who see this would judge him based just on the 5 minutes recorded, and possibly me by association.

How can I best do damage control here? Should I warn Mike that this is online? Should I make a public post as a warning about "if you've come across a video of Mike in McDonalds�" and explain the situation preemptively? Or maybe it'd be better for him to do that? I welcome any suggestions about how to tactfully address this with both Mike and our friends/family who might see this on social media.

TL;DR someone posted a video online of my husband yelling at a McDonalds employee and I'm very embarrassed about his behavior. I know he's a better person than this and don't want friends and family getting the wrong idea if they come across it.

# ? Jul 24, 2016 12:54

Rondette: Nov 4, 2009; Your friendly neighbourhood Postie.; Grimey Drawer

sinking belle posted:

We got married a couple months ago in May, been dating for about two years prior to that, for background. I'll call him Mike.

Today a friend messaged me with a link attached saying "is this Mike???" It was a video that someone had recorded on their phone in a McDonald's of, indeed, Mike losing his temper and yelling at a cashier. I'm not exactly clear why but according to the video description it's because they were out of an item he wanted to order. The video goes on for several minutes and at various points during it, he verbally attacks at the female employee behind the counter calling her a bitch, insults other customers who try to get him to calm down, and says things about "women wanting extra rights over men" (I don't know what this had to do with the situation at all).
I am loving mortified. I've not yet decided how to respond to the friend who messaged me but I'm terrified she'll send it to other friends or family or maybe already has. If it's on the internet anyone could see it and think I've married an absolute idiot. This was posted a couple weeks ago and I don't remember what happened on the exact day it was posted but around that general time he had been stressed about a situation at work. So I'm not pretending that the video doesn't show an awful side of him, but this is not who he really is and everyone has off days. However people who see this would judge him based just on the 5 minutes recorded, and possibly me by association.

How can I best do damage control here? Should I warn Mike that this is online? Should I make a public post as a warning about "if you've come across a video of Mike in McDonalds�" and explain the situation preemptively? Or maybe it'd be better for him to do that? I welcome any suggestions about how to tactfully address this with both Mike and our friends/family who might see this on social media.

TL;DR someone posted a video online of my husband yelling at a McDonalds employee and I'm very embarrassed about his behavior. I know he's a better person than this and don't want friends and family getting the wrong idea if they come across it.

If you haven't seen it I'm pretty certain this is the video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bZnqyE14RY

I'm pretty certain that is also a fake story/wife

# ? Jul 24, 2016 13:06

Shugojin: Sep 6, 2007; THE TAIL THAT BURNS TWICE AS BRIGHT...

ArbitraryC posted:

Im guessing for a lot of the ones where it's some sad dude getting walked over it's his first ltr and thinks putting up with anything is better than nothing. I knew a lot of late bloomers that ended up in lovely relationships but put up with it cause they felt like it was the best they could do.

Similar logic applies to the high school sweethearts who married their first bf/gf

There's a kid who works under me who is this and it kinda sucks watching him put everything into the relationship when she doesn't really care that much.

Like I'm pretty sure she thinks she cares but honestly all they had in common was getting high as gently caress and then loving which is okay when you're 18 but now she's pregnant because they didn't use condoms because "she had a rare condition that makes it almost impossible" and welp.

# ? Jul 24, 2016 13:26

Jack Trades: Nov 30, 2010

Shugojin posted:

There's a kid who works under me who is this and it kinda sucks watching him put everything into the relationship when she doesn't really care that much.

Like I'm pretty sure she thinks she cares but honestly all they had in common was getting high as gently caress and then loving which is okay when you're 18 but now she's pregnant because they didn't use condoms because "she had a rare condition that makes it almost impossible" and welp.

Geez. That poor idiot.

# ? Jul 24, 2016 13:29

Gamer With Dignity: May 15, 2016; by Nyc_Tattoo

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

I don't think a lot of you are going to think that great of me once I am done here. I am not exactly a model human being. I am trying to salvage a relationship with my daughter, and I am running my options with people online until the scheduled date for my first session with someone professional.
I've always been a very sexual person. I messed around with my little sister and a younger cousin before. I never pushed them when they said no or were unsure, but I definitely took advantage of how shy and timid they both were. I was an rear end in a top hat, and it was very wrong of me. I have done a lot to have decent relationships with both of them, now.
I had a lot of flings with shy, timid girls that were younger than me in high school. It usually ended in me cheating because the spark faded, or they realized all I wanted was kinky sex. I got one girl pregnant because sex was more important to me than protection. She was a Catholic girl with conservative parents, so she kept the kid. poo poo hit the fan, and they tried to force us to get married. They threatened to keep my daughter from my family if I didn't. Neither one of us wanted to get married, and her parents had adopted our daughter. My parents thankfully stepped up with my dad's union lawyer and made sure my daughter was a part of my life.
I've gotten older, but my girlfriends have pretty much stayed the same age since after college. My parents and sister give me a lot of poo poo about that. I only get off doing daddy roleplay with younger women for the most part. I'm in my early thirties, and I don't think I've been with anyone old enough to legally drink when we started seeing each other. I have a huge hidden collection of daddy and daughter porn in my apartment and on my computers and phone. I have been careful to keep all of this away from my daughter. I usually lock poo poo up, and I don't bring girls home when I have her around. She's 17, so she has been old enough for a while for me to tell her I have girlfriends here and there, but I haven't felt comfortable having them around her.
I recently got more serious with someone with potential to start living together. I was going to tell my daughter eventually. I just wanted everything figured out by then. This woman is only about 4 years older than my daughter and knows her.
My daughter has always had problems with her mom and her mom's family, and she decided she needed to stay with me for a while. I had my phone on silent while I was involved with my girlfriend. We had porn and fetish stuff on and out about the house because we had the whole day to ourselves. My daughter had to listen to us for a while after she walked in without us hearing her, and there was a lot of vocal roleplay. My daughter was too embarrassed to interrupt us. My girlfriend was the first to leave the room, and both of them were pretty horrified. My girlfriend came back in, got dressed, told me my daughter was home and she would come back after I had a chance to talk with my daughter. I finally came out when I heard them say their good byes. I apologized, but my daughter kept saying it wasn't any of her business and shouldn't have come when I didn't answer my phone. It was late, and I told her we'd talk about it more after I got back from work the next day.
I got home the next day, and I found my daughter sitting in the living room with all of my incest related materials out in the open that were not literally locked up. I forgot I gave her my password once to do an assignment for school when she forgot her laptop. My girlfriend has a similar look to my daughter, so my daughter blew up when she found everything. The previous night, she wanted to mind her own business, but she just couldn't resist looking into it. She asked me a ton of questions like if I looked at her that way, accusing me.
I don't look at her that way. She doesn't believe me because of my girlfriend and some of the models in my porn. My daughter is very similar to a lot of them. She said she doesn't want her dad thinking about her in that way. I told her I don't, and I explained its just something I focus on with other women. She was frustrated, but she didn't want to go home either. She fought with me on it a few times over two days until I suggested I ask my parents if they'd like her to visit them for a few days. We settled on that, and I called my parents. My daughter is spending a few days with them. My sister still lives with my parents, so I talked to her to and warned her about what happened. My sister did accuse me of subconsciously leaving signals toward my daughter because of my past with my sister, but she came around when I explained a lot more.
My sister lives with my parents because of mental health reasons, and she knew of someone that deals with family counseling where she sees someone. My sister pushed me to go talk to someone and eventually get my daughter to go too. My sister said she'd help smooth things over and told me I should date women my own age.
I lurk incest all the time. I know a lot of people don't actually want to have sex with a lot of their family members. I've read comments with people saying that. I figure there has to be at least one other unlucky rear end in a top hat that got caught with incest porn and had to explain himself. I could use some advice on smoothing things over. I'm afraid my daughter might not trust me ever again.

This guy should run for president.

# ? Jul 24, 2016 13:44

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Just now read that megapost of poly stories, man that was depressing :smith:

If people manage to get their hands on a narrative that casts them as the victim somehow (in this case defining polyamory as a sexual orientation that simply cannot be denied and your partner is abusive for keeping you in the closet by insisting you not cheat on them) they really can justify anything they want huh

My favorite was probably the one where the girl was on the lookout for more dudes, openly talked about comparing her husband to them, and forbade him from finding more girls because she was jealous, just for the blatant wide-open hypocrisy of the entire situation. She went full Ayn Rand.

# ? Jul 24, 2016 16:05

Gamer With Dignity: May 15, 2016; by Nyc_Tattoo

loquacius posted:

My favorite was probably the one where the girl was on the lookout for more dudes, openly talked about comparing her husband to them, and forbade him from finding more girls because she was jealous, just for the blatant wide-open hypocrisy of the entire situation. She went full Ayn Rand.

What was her sexual marketplace value?

# ? Jul 24, 2016 16:10

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

For context, Ayn Rand lived like a hundred years before any of these weirdos but still pulled the whole unilaterally-deciding-her-marriage-was-open thing so that she could gently caress her bright-eyed young objectivist acolytes

but flipped out on her husband when he tried to get a girlfriend and also subjected him to various indignities, such as making him wear a bell around his neck, like a cat, so he couldn't sneak up on her

I wonder what these people would say if you told them Ayn Rand pioneered their personal relationship model :allears:

# ? Jul 24, 2016 16:14

Gamer With Dignity: May 15, 2016; by Nyc_Tattoo

loquacius posted:

I wonder what these people would say if you told them Ayn Rand pioneered their personal relationship model

Pick any polyamorous Reddit user at random and I bet you 10 bucks they've read at least one of her works.

# ? Jul 24, 2016 16:16

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Was gonna say they'll probably love Ayn Rand even more after you tell them that.

"See? Exceptional people do it!"

# ? Jul 24, 2016 16:18

Trevor Hale: Dec 8, 2008; What have I become, my Swedish friend?

Gamer With Dignity posted:

This guy should run for president.

"My sister who I conned into loving has mental health issues."

# ? Jul 24, 2016 16:20

Professor Shark: May 22, 2012

loquacius posted:

For context, Ayn Rand lived like a hundred years before any of these weirdos but still pulled the whole unilaterally-deciding-her-marriage-was-open thing so that she could gently caress her bright-eyed young objectivist acolytes

but flipped out on her husband when he tried to get a girlfriend and also subjected him to various indignities, such as making him wear a bell around his neck, like a cat, so he couldn't sneak up on her

I wonder what these people would say if you told them Ayn Rand pioneered their personal relationship model

The kicker being that she's trying to replace him, assuming one of the other guys is better, and is putting a stop to the MFF's in case he finds someone better than her.

The whole "Just a few more dicks "so I can see what I'm missing"! :keke:

... but no more for you! :mad:

" thing is some of the most vile manipulation posted in this thread.

# ? Jul 24, 2016 16:30

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Gamer With Dignity posted:

Pick any polyamorous Reddit user at random and I bet you 10 bucks they've read at least one of her works.

I mean, the average Reddit user would love Rand, yeah, but my mental image of the average poly enthusiast is the worse type of Bernie supporter (or I guess the worse type of under-40 Hillary primary voter), considering their rhetoric

e: I guess they could be "alt-right" Trump or Rand Paul enthusiasts too come to think of it, ok nvm

Professor Shark posted:

The kicker being that she's trying to replace him, assuming one of the other guys is better, and is putting a stop to the MFF's in case he finds someone better than her.

This makes way too much sense and that story didn't have a comments link but I really hope someone pointed it out to him because it's the best possible explanation for that behavior

# ? Jul 24, 2016 16:37

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Fat Shat Sings posted:

I'm terrible at relationships but my explanation is that people have been taught "Love Conquers All" so when every day with someone is literal torture it only proves you found true love if you put up with being incredibly unhappy in a terrible situation.

My first "real" relationship lasted like six months longer than it should have for this very reason

# ? Jul 24, 2016 16:43

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Professor Shark posted:

The kicker being that she's trying to replace him, assuming one of the other guys is better, and is putting a stop to the MFF's in case he finds someone better than her.

The whole "Just a few more dicks "so I can see what I'm missing"! ... but no more for you! " thing is some of the most vile manipulation posted in this thread.

And the coda is that stories like this feed into the insecurities that breed MRAs and TRP types... for such a selfish woman she can really have quite the impact on the world.

# ? Jul 24, 2016 16:46

ravenkult: Feb 3, 2011

I ran away and never looked back from a board game forum (of all things) because every third thread was about polyamory and other hosed up things.
There was a thread by this one guy who was essentially asking for advice on how to cope with his poly wife who has a different relationship every month. She was at that time loving a co-worker daily. The dude was so brainwashed that he was posting poo poo like '

'Well, she explained it to me and I totally understand: She just has too much love to give and can't give it to one guy and she's an exceptional woman so it would be unfair to keep her from being loved by multiple men at the same time, but gosh darn it when she comes home every night after getting hosed by randos, it kinda hurts. She's really nice though because she always showers first when she comes home. Also we have a five year old girl and I don't know how I'm going to explain to her later why mommy comes home late every other night.''

Dude probably has stomach cancer by now.

# ? Jul 24, 2016 16:51

UnfurledSails: Sep 1, 2011

loquacius posted:

My first "real" relationship lasted like six months longer than it should have for this very reason

There is also the opposite problem where everything is a dealbraker so one side just ejects out of the cockpit before the plane is even in the air.

# ? Jul 24, 2016 16:53

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

ravenkult posted:

I ran away and never looked back from a board game forum (of all things) because every third thread was about polyamory and other hosed up things.

Settles of Catan Megathread

Optimal Monopoly Strategies

How to handle the glacial realization that I am not actually loved by my partner (kids involved)

New German Imports Thread

Post your favorite custom player tokens!

Silly Board Game Memes

My husband said to stop being so suffocating and let him gently caress a high schooler but I'm not so sure

Does anyone actually like Parcheesi?

# ? Jul 24, 2016 16:55

Owlbear Camus: Jan 3, 2013; Maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?

ravenkult posted:

I ran away and never looked back from a board game forum (of all things) because every third thread was about polyamory and other hosed up things.
There was a thread by this one guy who was essentially asking for advice on how to cope with his poly wife who has a different relationship every month. She was at that time loving a co-worker daily. The dude was so brainwashed that he was posting poo poo like '

'Well, she explained it to me and I totally understand: She just has too much love to give and can't give it to one guy and she's an exceptional woman so it would be unfair to keep her from being loved by multiple men at the same time, but gosh darn it when she comes home every night after getting hosed by randos, it kinda hurts. She's really nice though because she always showers first when she comes home. Also we have a five year old girl and I don't know how I'm going to explain to her later why mommy comes home late every other night.''

Dude probably has stomach cancer by now.

Sounds like RPG.NET, it is, isn't it?

I remember some thread where guys were talking about the most erotic way to render MLP vaginas was a-ok but some dude got sanctioned for using a euphamism for masturbation in a slice of life thread about sperm donation. And yeah there were a few dudes on there eating their own livers in one-sided "open relationships."

Weird forum culture there.

Owlbear Camus fucked around with this message at 17:08 on Jul 24, 2016

# ? Jul 24, 2016 17:00

Gamer With Dignity: May 15, 2016; by Nyc_Tattoo

loquacius posted:

My first "real" relationship lasted like six months longer than it should have for this very reason

What happened?

# ? Jul 24, 2016 17:01

Ichabod Tane: Oct 30, 2005; A most notable
coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality.

https://youtu.be/_Ojd0BdtMBY?t=4

I thought that love conquers all was in terms of outside factors not internal poo poo like, "my girlfriend of two months makes me wear a bell while I get pegged."

# ? Jul 24, 2016 17:11

Gamer With Dignity: May 15, 2016; by Nyc_Tattoo

Love conquers goons.

# ? Jul 24, 2016 17:23

DrManiac: Feb 29, 2012

loquacius posted:

For context, Ayn Rand lived like a hundred years before any of these weirdos but still pulled the whole unilaterally-deciding-her-marriage-was-open thing so that she could gently caress her bright-eyed young objectivist acolytes

but flipped out on her husband when he tried to get a girlfriend and also subjected him to various indignities, such as making him wear a bell around his neck, like a cat, so he couldn't sneak up on her

I wonder what these people would say if you told them Ayn Rand pioneered their personal relationship model

Correction, she flipped out when the 20~ year old apprentice she was loving at 60 decided to get with a cute new recruit.

This is after she browbeat him, his girlfriend, and her husband into the whole open thing.

# ? Jul 24, 2016 17:53

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

"We can either work on our communication, or we can just gently caress eeeeverything up by hurting each other, advice please?"

# ? Jul 24, 2016 18:05

Nemesis Of Moles: Jul 25, 2007

The front page has been great today for absolutely terrible people

"My [42 F posted:

with my husband [55 M] married 5 years, together 9, he places no value on what I do because I don't contribute money"]
Throwaway because, well... because.
My husband, Mark and I have been together 9 years, and married for 5. Mark and I have never had an 'easy' relationship. In the first 4ish years, we were plagued with a lot of financial hardship, and even had to live with my parents for 5 months while I found a new job.
A few years ago, Mark and I decided to get a pup. We had a large workshop, and plenty of room. So we adopted a rescue, a 2 year old large breed dog. Several months later, we adopted a puppy.
4 or 5 months after that, we both lost our jobs, our business, and we were broke. That was when we went to stay with my parents, and when things really went downhill.
Mark has always been the kind of person to 'keep score'. He will say, "Oh I worked for (this amount of time) and supported you!" even if the time he's worked compared to the time I have worked may be exactly the same. He's always telling me I don't 'bring in enough money'.
About a year ago, I got fed up, and left.
I will note here there were a LOT of other problems that lead up to this, but really... that doesn't matter.
Right before I left, he let our 2 dogs lock up, because he was SO CONVINCED he wanted puppies. I told him OVER and OVER and OVER this was a BAD idea, its expensive, the responsibility is HUGE, but he didn't give a poo poo. He wanted puppies, and that was that.
About a month and a half, after I left, the litter was born. The litter was HUGE.... 12 puppies. A few weeks in, he was in pure panic. He works 12 hr days 5 days a week, and a half day on Saturday. He simply didn't have TIME for this.
While I was gone, we stayed in contact, and kept saying we wanted to work it out. I was pretty convinced I didn't want to come back, and I adopted 2 of the puppies. He managed to sell most of them, but was stuck with 3 puppies, and the 2 adults.
So now he's got 5 dogs, and isn't home. Ever.
About 6 months ago, his father passed away. His father was loaded, and even though he only left Mark a 20% portion, Mark will end up with probably close to a million dollars when its all said and done. Mark really changed when his father died. He used to be very cold, and emotionally unavailable (a BIG reason I left in the first place), but that changed after his dad passed.
I became very ill when I left, and for almost a year, battled a fight with something that wasn't cancer, but somewhat similar. I was on all kinds of crazy medication, my hair thinned out big time, I gained about 60 lbs, and I really struggled. I was tired all the time, but I managed to keep my life going on my own, and to raise my pups the best I could.
Even now, I am still on a medication that when I take it, it makes me SUPER groggy, and the only thing I can do is sleep, so I take it in the evening before bed, because I can't afford to lose that time during the day.
The puppies are now 10 months old.
About 6 weeks ago, Mark and I made a decision to try again. When I moved back in with him (I was living about 6 hours away), we agreed that I didn't have to work, or I could work only part time, but I'd take care of the dogs.
7 dogs is a lot of loving work. I am up at 4am every single day, feeding, walking, and generally making sure that all the dogs are happy and healthy. Its not been long, so not all of the dogs can just run together and be happy... I am still working on integrating all of them together, so that we can have a harmonious household. My problem really isn't with the dogs. Yes - they are a TON of work, I never get a day off, and they ALWAYS need something. But that's ok. I love dogs, I love the time I spend training and playing with them, and they are all pretty great.
I had some HUGE obsticles to overcome with some of the dogs, as they'd been pretty much locked in crates for the last 4 months, with little time out. His 3 puppies were NOT housebroken, every day they peed and pooped in their crates, and it was general chaos every single moment. The puppies and I have gone leaps and bounds. They are all housebroken and crate trained, and for the MOST part, they all get along.
Sorry for all that backstory, but I felt it was important.
Now - as I stated... I am up at 4am, every single day. That's when feeding starts, walks start, and general dog 'stuff'. Not to mention... I do 100% of the cleaning, about 60% of the cooking (I will say, my husband is excellent about us going out to eat all the time, because I am often so pooped out from the day of my work - so I guess technically I do 100% of the cooking at home). This includes laundry, cleaning, floors, dog stuff (baths, crates, their laundry etc). I walk all of the dogs myself (maybe he will help with 5 walks total a WEEK). I train all myself. I play with them, and their happiness falls 100% on to me. This post this morning... Its 630, I've already walked and fed ALL the dogs, started a load of laundry, did all the dishes from dinner last night, mopped the kitchen floor, and made coffee. Sitting down to write this is probably the longest break I will have all day.
Now my husband wants to spend 8 hours out of the house, driving 6 hours to 'check out' a small town near where he wants to buy a piece of property. So this means that I will need to drive the 6 hours (because I have the nicer car), plus the 2 hours of driving around to 'check out the area'.
Spending 8 hours away... well, it basically fucks me. I cannot possibly do what needs to be done. It also means his 3 puppies will pee and poop in their crates, because they haven't figured out how to hold it quite that long during the day. I'll also have to make sure laundry is done so that we have clothes to wear, and I'll probably have to make dinner when we get home... whenever that is.
Mark constantly bitches about the state of the house, and how things aren't clean enough. He just had a screaming fit because dogs were barking. We have a fight at least once a week because I do not bring in anything financially. I had some savings but in the 6 weeks, I have spent most of it, on bills (gas, insurance, phone, dog 'stuff', and I spent 60 bucks on some new clothes, because I'd not bought myself clothes in about 4 years). This past week, Mark spend 17,000 on a truck that is a 'project' truck. Now he wants to buy a dirt bike. Yet, he's pissed off because I can't pay the 115 dollar cable bill, because he 'doesn't use that loving poo poo.' Which, is a lie, because he uses the internet every single day.
I don't want to leave. Believe it or not, I love 6 of the dogs with all my heart, and I know if I leave, something bad will happen to the 5 that stay (I'd take my two). They would be stuck in crates the rest of their lives, probably develop some sort of problems, become aggressive or something, and be hurt, or put down. I couldn't live with myself if something happened to them. I can't have children, and these dogs have somewhat replaced that. Plus, I am drat proud of what I have done with these puppies, and every day they make strides to be great dogs.
However, I am tired of feeling like I am not good enough... feeling that no matter WHAT I do, I'll never be good enough. Nothing I do will be enough. Nothing I contribute will be enough. There's NO POSSIBLE WAY I could get even a part time job, and get everything done. I spend so little time to myself. Some days, I don't even have time to shower.
I am exhausted. I am so tired by 7pm every day.
The last few days, I've woken up and felt myself wishing I didn't. I am NOT suicidal, but I just wish it would... stop. I'm so lost, and I just... I don't know what to do anymore. I don't even feel any emotions anymore... just exhaustion. I don't know what to do. I don't want to leave, but I don't know how to get Mark to see that even though I don't bring in any money, the work I do has REAL VALUE in keeping our lives together. How can I make him realize this?
Therapy (on his end) is OUT of the question. He will not go. I am already in therapy, dealing with a lot of things... some I touched on here, some I didn't.
Again... I'm sorry if this is jumbled, and I am unclear. I'm literally spending all the free time I have this morning trying to get this all out there. I can answer any additional questions throughout the day by checking my phone.
tl;dr: I work all day every day but don't bring in money and my husband thinks I am worthless. I don't want to leave because I have these huge responsibilities, so what do I do?

"My [16F posted:

stepbrother [19M] has been drawing me."]
I lived alone with my mum since she I was eight and her and my dad split up. My dad got married and has had two younger children with his wife. His wife has an older son from a past relationship who lives with her and my dad. I moved in with my dad at the start of the year because my mum lost her job and had to move out and live in her friends one bedroom apartment which doesn�t have room for me.
Toby [pseudonym - idk if he is on reddit] does lifelike sketches of people which are pretty amazing. He gets commissions to draw people, celebrities and characters for people online for up to $150.
He is quite shy and reserved so we don�t talk much. I tend to give him a fair bit of space because we don�t have much in common and he has a weird vibe. A while ago he was showing me some of his drawings and asked if he could draw me. He just drew my head and shoulders but it was very accurate.
Yesturday I was telling my friend about Toby's drawings. She asked me snapchat her a photo of his drawing of me. Toby has a tone of sketchbooks but I remembered the one he drew me in was red so I looked through that book. The red book I looked through was almost empty and didn�t have the sketch I was looking for in it so I looked around his room and found a second red book under his bed.
The book I found was full of sketches of just me. Some of just my face to my shoulders but some of me in just undies and there were several pages of me without any clothes on. There were also a few pictures of me in very sexual positions. All together there were at least 50 drawings of me.
The sketches of my body were scarily accurate - down to two freckles I have on my chest and a scar I have on the top of the back of my thigh. I don�t really wear skimpy clothes and I don�t think he has every seen me not fully dressed. I don�t know how he would know about those details and I am scared he has been watching me get dressed or something.
I really don�t know what to do. I don�t want to create any drama because things aren�t great in my family atm. I don�t think my dads wife really wanted me to move in with them which has caused some tension and I don�t want to give her a reason to dislike me. I am scared she would side with her son as I am a outsider in their house. I am not particularly close with my dad either, I feel like he is doing me a massive favour by letting me stay with them [they are struggling financially and I am an extra burden on them] so I don�t want to make it difficult for him. I also think he would side with Toby because he knows him better than he knows me and they are pretty close.
Knowing about the pictures has put me really on edge. I haven�t had to deal with this sort of this before and I have no idea how to handle this. I was thinking of talking to him myself but I feel too embarrassed and I am scared about how he would react. I also don�t feel very safe around him right now so I think I need to do something.
I am completely freaked out and could really use any advice on how to handle this without causing any drama or giving my dad and his wife a reason to dislike me. Is this something I can let slide and if not what do I do?
tl;dr: Found my stepbrothers sketch book full of drawings of me including some nude and sexual sketches. Creeped out and not sure what to do.

# ? Jul 24, 2016 18:15

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

I was going to say that the girl with her brother could be borderline if the dude is just trying to practice and was too loving stupid to know that you should get consent before drawing nudes of someone as anatomy study, but this...

quote:

The sketches of my body were scarily accurate - down to two freckles I have on my chest and a scar I have on the top of the back of my thigh. I don�t really wear skimpy clothes and I don�t think he has every seen me not fully dressed. I don�t know how he would know about those details and I am scared he has been watching me get dressed or something.

...tells me that the girl shouldn't gently caress around. I'd be freaked out too.

# ? Jul 24, 2016 18:20

Jack Trades: Nov 30, 2010

Blacktoll posted:

I thought that love conquers all was in terms of outside factors not internal poo poo like, "my girlfriend of two months makes me wear a bell while I get pegged."

Yeah, I see how being forced to wear a bell would be a dealbreaker.

# ? Jul 24, 2016 18:50

Tolkien minority: Feb 14, 2012

I [26 F] had an abortion 10 years ago on this date. I've never gotten over it. I desperately want to contact the father [29M] of the baby. Is this unreasonable?

quote:

On July 24, 2006 I was forced into an abortion. It was the single worst mistake of my life. Even though I was only 16 I really wanted the baby. I begged and pleaded with my parents and my bf to help me. They adamantly refused. My boyfriend would scream and cry and beg me to get rid of the baby. He said I was ruining his life.
My parents on the other hand said the second I decided to keep the baby I needed to leave and I was on my own. My mom told me I'd make a terrible mother and lots of other horrible things. I started thinking about an open adoption, but my mom basically said that was not even an option, I wasn't strong enough to do that. Plus, if I did go that route I'd still have to leave and I'd be on my own.

I tried to get a job. I really wanted this baby. I only managed to get one interview at restaurant. I'd be cleaning tables after people ate. I didn't get the job though.
Eventually I felt forced into a corner, like an abortion was my only choice. I was afraid of being homeless and pregnant and all I on my own. I can remember begging my mother, in absolute hysterics, just pleading with her to help me. She said I'd thank her one day. I HATE HER FOR IT!!!
I cry every day about it. EVERY DAY. I hate myself and my life. I want to reverse time so badly.
I can't reverse time, but I so desperately want to contact my ex about it. I want to see if he feels like I do. He disappeared shortly after the abortion. I later reconnected with him because I was really good friends with his girl friend. I asked if he regretted us having the abortion. I broke down crying since the whole situation was so traumatic for me. He said no. He was glad I had the abortion.

A little while later they had a baby together. The girl wanted me to be the god mother... I just couldn't. I was over at their house and he was holding his little girl, looking absolutely blissful. I asked him if he understood now, what we lost, why it hurt me so much. I asked him if he finally regretted the abortion. As he looked at his baby girl with this stupid little smile on his face, he said no, he's glad we did because if we didn't have the abortion he wouldn't have her.
I remember breaking down crying. Just bawling my eyes out. I left and honestly never went back. It was too painful. I never really talked to either of them again. The girl wanted me to be bridesmaid in her wedding, but I bailed last minute. I feel bad about that, but I just couldn't do it.

Anyways, I remember the first time I reconnected with the guy. I begged him to just acknowledge our baby. I asked that he just send me a message on each 24th of July just so I know he cares and he thinks about our baby like I do. I've never received a message from him. Sometimes I think he might not care, but he's also has a family now, so maybe it's hit him and he just doesn't know how to deal with it. Maybe he feels awkward contacting me?
I really want to message him. I really want someone to talk to about this. I really want him to finally acknowledge all the pain he's caused me and the life we took.
Is this a bad idea? Is this okay? I'm honestly not sure. I just feel like he HAS to feel something by now. He has to understand. I feel like I'm going insane with all this pain. I just NEED him to tell me he regrets the decision. I need him to acknowledge our baby.
I hope someone can help.

tl;dr: Years ago I had an abortion. I want to reconnect with the would have been father because the experience was so painful for me. Is this okay?

quote:

This is not the case at all. I don't want to be with him. I do want our baby though. I still have my ultrasound picture. I still have the book I wrote in for my baby. I'll go through phases of acceptance, knowing my baby is gone, but then other times I'll convince myself I just haven't had the baby yet. A year or so ago I started buying baby clothes... but I stopped and haven't let myself do that again. I know it's not right. I know I shouldn't pretend like I'm still pregnant. It's hard though.
Sometimes when i'm driving home from work I'll pretend like I'm coming home to a family. Sometimes when I'm home I talk to my imaginary husband and family. It makes me feel not so alone.

quote:

IT WAS NOT THE RIGHT THING!!!!! You can't just say it was the right thing and make it so!!!! Maybe it was right for them, but not for me and absolutely NOT for my baby. I'm pretty sure it would much rather be alive than dead in the trash.
This has RUINED my life. It's like my pain is meaningless as long as everybody else is happy for what they made me do.

edit: link https://ut.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/4ue052/i_26_f_had_an_abortion_10_years_ago_on_this_date/

Tolkien minority fucked around with this message at 20:03 on Jul 24, 2016

# ? Jul 24, 2016 19:58

Zzulu: May 15, 2009; (â°ËvËâ°)

straight up bonkers

# ? Jul 24, 2016 19:59

DragQueenofAngmar: Dec 29, 2009; You shall not pass!

link pls I must see the comments especially since she's responding

# ? Jul 24, 2016 20:02

china bot: Sep 7, 2014; you listen HERE pal
SAY GOODBYE TO TELEPHONE SEX; Plaster Town Cop

e: i'm dumb

# ? Jul 24, 2016 20:05

Funky See Funky Do: Aug 20, 2013; STILL TRYING HARD

Wow, she's batshit.

� Still-A-Nobody � 15m
I honestly thought people would be on my side. I thought they'd give me pointers on how to contact my ex and how best to express my emotions. I never expected everybody to be on his side.

# ? Jul 24, 2016 20:08

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 9, 2024 09:44

Khorne: May 1, 2002

Funky See Funky Do posted:

Wow, she's batshit.

� Still-A-Nobody � 15m
I honestly thought people would be on my side. I thought they'd give me pointers on how to contact my ex and how best to express my emotions. I never expected everybody to be on his side.

I hope no one tells her she can probably still get pregnant. Unless I missed the part where she ended up sterile.

# ? Jul 24, 2016 20:24

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > www.reddit.com/r/relationships

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