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Our new HR lady is a marathon runner and overall fitness nazi and she changed the annual employee party from us feeding the whole factory while they're on the clock to a scavenger hunt in a public park. On a Sunday afternoon. In July. In Arkansas. First prize was a one year gym membership.
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Jul 26, 2016 11:02
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tactlessbastard posted:Our new HR lady is a marathon runner and overall fitness nazi and she changed the annual employee party from us feeding the whole factory while they're on the clock to a scavenger hunt in a public park.  I'm just imagining a factory full of bearded dudes telling the new HR lady wat-for!
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Jul 26, 2016 12:57
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We have a project manager that doesn't understand software deployments. She seems to be under the impression that the vendor supplies the installation materials and that I just inject them magically into the process. In just a matter of moments. She had a bit of a rude awakening when I explained that 2 hours before go time is not enough lead time for an implementation and that I'd prefer at least a weeks notice to build the application package, test it across various environments, and then deploy it. Queue the PM crying to my boss about how I'm "not being a team player" and "am acting as a barrier to the process." Computers are hard.
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Jul 26, 2016 13:19
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Wrath of the Bitch King posted:Computers are hard. That's why you hit people with them. Preferably AT Full Towers. Built in 1988.
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Jul 26, 2016 13:49
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There needs to be a special tenth level of hell for people who set up two systems exchanging data using Excel as the transfer format.
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Jul 26, 2016 13:54
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kensei posted:Whomever works at the place where they can buy the K-Cups at the front desk, get a four pack of those re-usable filters and buy ground coffee. So so much cheaper and less wasteful! 
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Jul 26, 2016 13:58
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Kyle... you have a Keurig problem... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_lBQWUR3u7U
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Jul 26, 2016 14:04
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Wrath of the Bitch King posted:Queue the PM crying to my boss about how I'm "not being a team player" and "am acting as a barrier to the process." Ah yes, "not a team player" the go-to 'this person didn't do my job for me' response.
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Jul 26, 2016 14:16
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tactlessbastard posted:First prize was a one year gym membership. That is a fantastic prize for what it's worth if it's a good gym. I pay 120$/Month for a family membership at my gym.
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Jul 26, 2016 14:17
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March 16th 2020: Aliens come to share new technology and invite us into the the Galactic Alliance. March 17th 2020: Trump deports the Illegal aliens from the planet and vows to build a wall March 20th 2020: Aliens build a wall around Earth preventing sunlight from entering the planet April 3rd 2022: The remaining few humans finally run out of things to burn and canned food to eat.
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Jul 26, 2016 14:30
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ratbert90 posted:That is a fantastic prize for what it's worth if it's a good gym. I pay 120$/Month for a family membership at my gym. Depends on location. If they picked one 30+ minutes from your home, you never gonna go. Unless it's one near work and they're cool with you taking an hour off to go sweat.. then it would be awesome.
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Jul 26, 2016 14:44
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tactlessbastard posted:Our new HR lady is a marathon runner and overall fitness nazi and she changed the annual employee party from us feeding the whole factory while they're on the clock to a scavenger hunt in a public park. It's a wonderful idea. She'll have an awesome time, all by herself, searching for employees... Prize might go unawarded for lack of finding any, though.
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Jul 26, 2016 16:29
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My work pays half my gym membership up to $100. I don't know where the gently caress I would get a membership that was $200 a month, but it's nice to get my $70 membership cut in half. Yes, I could get a cheaper membership at planet fitness or whatever, but then I don't have a pool or steam room access!
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Jul 26, 2016 16:48
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I pay $29 a month so I feel like I must be getting away with something. Although the gym has had several owners over the years they have legacy customers going back to the 1970s. One old dude is paying $7 a month! EDIT: Pissing me off? For unknown reasons my boss has access to the CEO's mailbox. She forwarded me a bunch of bounce notices that had gone to him. I explained that they were all due to our antispoofing rules blocking some dude who was trying to spoof emails from the CEO. Didn't hear back from her. About 12 hours later I get an email from the CEO about the bounces, but he has sent it to the idiot office manager/personal slave and only copied me in. Instead of waiting for the idiot to reply and complicate things I sent the same explanation to the CEO that I'd sent to my boss so he would know there's nothing to worry about. Not long after I get another email from him asking if this happened because he'd opened a Snapchat account. I replied "no" and explained why, but he sent back that he was sure it was the cause so he'd closed his Snapchat account. I'm no Cassandra but after the last job and this one I can identify with her. Dick Trauma fucked around with this message at 17:08 on Jul 26, 2016 |
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Jul 26, 2016 16:50
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ptier posted:
For pretty much all of July,in Arkansas, the heat index has been well over 100 degrees. 105,110. Think it hit 112 one day? Johnny Aztec fucked around with this message at 17:18 on Jul 26, 2016 |
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Jul 26, 2016 17:15
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75% of the workforce off on workers comp for heatstroke.
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Jul 26, 2016 20:43
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ChickenOfTomorrow posted:75% of the workforce off on workers comp for heatstroke. What in the hell man?
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Jul 26, 2016 20:48
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Raerlynn posted:hell That might be the workplace
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Jul 26, 2016 20:51
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Thanks Ants posted:That might be the workplace Seems a reasonable assumption, considering.
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Jul 26, 2016 21:18
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Conference call scheduled for 30 minutes, and we spend the first 20 minutes with a guy trying to send us a Visio diagram. No one seemed terribly bothered by this except for me. My cries of "can we just talk through it instead of sit here in silence?" were met with... more silence. Alright then, guess I'll drop this call without saying a word.
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Jul 26, 2016 22:00
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Middle of September is my year review. I am putting together a portfolio of all of my accomplishments and how much I have saved the company. I currently make 75, and I am guaranteed in writing a bump to a minimum of 80 at the end of the year but if they refuse to move me to at least 95+ after saving the company close to a million this year I'm going to he fairly upset. I don't think they will try to screw me, but I am going to ask for 100 and be happy with 95. What do you guys think? FlapYoJacks fucked around with this message at 22:28 on Jul 26, 2016 |
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Jul 26, 2016 22:22
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Just had my 5 year review (holy poo poo it's been 5 years.. wtf is wrong in my life), going to get some WFH (probably 1 day to start a week, and when I kill it I'm hoping to get 2-3 at least)!!!! Sadly I don't think I will get the pay bump I want, but that discussion was tabled until my manager and the director can talk about budget, so hopefully in a week or 2. I did get a 10k pay bump in January, which coincided with a "title change", but obviously I'm greedy as gently caress and would like more! Also, I got my 5 year uhhh present, it's a mothafuckin clock, WHAT TIME IS IT BITCHES
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Jul 26, 2016 22:27
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If tea and coffee run out here people legit panic alcoholic's anonymous style, if your business doesn't even cover that you have no business. We once got a sexy automatic fresh custom coffee making machine, but got taken away after a week since the office of 50 people blew through 10 pints of milk per day, now days we get free fruit though which is neat.
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Jul 26, 2016 22:35
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MF_James posted:WHAT TIME IS IT BITCHES https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_-isKzt4O4 I am so sorry.
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Jul 26, 2016 22:45
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MF_James posted:Also, I got my 5 year uhhh present, it's a mothafuckin clock, WHAT TIME IS IT BITCHES My place doesn't do 5 years.. it does 10 and 20 though. And I assume 30, though for most that's probably a retirement party. They send you a catalog that tries to pretend it's Hammacher Schlemmer but it's actually just dollar store junk that isn't worth the cost of shipping.. full of knockoff bags and headphones and lovely desk ornaments. I would seriously prefer they did nothing over pretending that trash is a "gift."
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Jul 26, 2016 22:45
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Thanks Ants posted:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_-isKzt4O4 I had flavor flav in my mind. Also, holy poo poo I had never heard of this guy/seen the video, I watched the whole thing... at least there were somewhat good looking women in it?
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Jul 26, 2016 23:06
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xzzy posted:My place doesn't do 5 years.. it does 10 and 20 though. And I assume 30, though for most that's probably a retirement party. Here, they have yearly anniversary gifts for everyone, same if you've one year or thirty, and they're always shite. Last year it was a bigass 3x3x3 cube of sticky notes <!> with the organization logo. I was joking around that this year would be a box of paper clips, but it's some not-even-dollar-store quality USB multi-format charger/retractable cable thing. Which just means more people recharging phones/etc. off our HIPAA-compliant computer hey why not... Actual every-five-years anniversaries get a certificate, and at 10/20/30 a moderate check, weee.
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Jul 26, 2016 23:32
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ratbert90 posted:Middle of September is my year review. I am putting together a portfolio of all of my accomplishments and how much I have saved the company. I think you should be prepared for disappointment. The new normal for the software industry is to get raises and promotions by job hopping every few years.
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Jul 27, 2016 02:01
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Zamboni Apocalypse posted:Here, they have yearly anniversary gifts for everyone, same if you've one year or thirty, and they're always shite. Last year it was a bigass 3x3x3 cube of sticky notes <!> with the organization logo. When they disabled charging your phone off your HIPPA-compliant device here, everyone who codes for a living was given a phone "kit" that included a USB power pack. It was a lovely way to ease the pain of "oh man, how am I supposed to charge my phone now!"
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Jul 27, 2016 02:10
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My old place had tons of people bringing in space heaters (it was already warm in the office) and they would trio the circuit for banks of cubes. That was always enjoyable since it wasn't our building and had to call in the building facilities folks to get to the breaker.
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Jul 27, 2016 02:22
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ratbert90 posted:Middle of September is my year review. I am putting together a portfolio of all of my accomplishments and how much I have saved the company. I guess theres a first time for everything, but saving the company money is your job so don't get your hopes too high.
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Jul 27, 2016 02:41
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Bigass Moth posted:I guess theres a first time for everything, but saving the company money is your job so don't get your hopes too high. Eh, bringing in a bunch of contacts to save the company huge quantities of money in labor was way way WAY out of the scope of my job. Also I'm a embedded linux engineer. My job isn't to save the company money at all.
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Jul 27, 2016 04:08
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Super Slash posted:We once got a sexy automatic fresh custom coffee making machine, but got taken away after a week since the office of 50 people blew through 10 pints of milk per day, now days we get free fruit though which is neat.
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Jul 27, 2016 06:24
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MC Fruit Stripe posted:Conference call scheduled for 30 minutes, and we spend the first 20 minutes with a guy trying to send us a Visio diagram. No one seemed terribly bothered by this except for me. My cries of "can we just talk through it instead of sit here in silence?" were met with... more silence. Alright then, guess I'll drop this call without saying a word. Was it followed by half of the people suddenly realizing that "Visio diagram" didn't mean "picture on a webpage" and that they didn't have Visio installed?
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Jul 27, 2016 07:34
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yeah really, we have a 50 person office (maybe a few under that actually) and would go through that much milk in probably half a day, gently caress we go through probably 60 k-cups a day, if not more; yes, some people are greedy (and over caffinated) as gently caress and drink like 5 cups a day. I understand blah blah work provides free poo poo, but I can guarantee you if everyone in our office drank 5 loving cups a day we would not have free coffee anymore.
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Jul 27, 2016 07:35
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bizwank posted:10 pints is 160 ounces which is 15-20 lattes worth of milk, doesn't really seem like a lot for a staff of 50. Did they just expect nobody to use it? Currently we use maybe 4 pints per day, I could be lowballing it but your average mug of tea and coffee doesn't need much. Either way the problem with this machine was rather than your standard cup or mug, people were bringing in colossal starbucks mega mugs the size of a small thermos, so I think people got tired of being coffee bitch for having to constantly go out everyday for supplies 
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Jul 27, 2016 07:43
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xzzy posted:My place doesn't do 5 years.. it does 10 and 20 though. And I assume 30, though for most that's probably a retirement party. 5 year mark here is a quick speech from the boss and a bottle of cheap champagne worth maybe a fiver. Mine's coming up in October 
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Jul 27, 2016 12:34
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If my company removed free coffee, all the engineers would be switching jobs within a few weeks. But I live in  and the culture here (in engineering companies at least) is that poo poo like coffee is free, because it boosts productivity and keeps people happy.Most of my colleagues won't bother asking me about stuff until after I've had my first cup of the day
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Jul 27, 2016 13:15
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We have a few people here that are totally zombies/assholes until 10:30am or so. They don't drink coffee. DRINK SOME loving COFFEE SO YOU CAN FUNCTION AT 8:00 Bob Morales fucked around with this message at 13:30 on Jul 27, 2016 |
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Jul 27, 2016 13:18
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Bob Morales posted:We have a few people here that are totally zombies/assholes until 10:30am or so. DRINK SOME loving COFFEE SO YOU CAN FUNCTION AT 8:00
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Jul 27, 2016 13:24
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