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Inzombiac posted:My real confession is that I once slept with a girl who 100% thought she was a werewolf. She claimed to have been raised in Valhalla by two giant wolves that imbued her with the power to shape shift. Did she insist on doggy style, demand you howl during ejaculation and then unfavorably compare you to her husky because "the husky knots."?
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# ? Jul 27, 2016 04:23 |
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# ? May 21, 2024 15:02 |
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No. Unfortunately she was very normal otherwise aside from being pretty dumb and unambitious. As if that wasn't enough, she firmly believes in old gender roles and any deviation is in defiance of the natural order. She longed to be a kept woman. Ugh...
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# ? Jul 27, 2016 05:37 |
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Inzombiac posted:No. Unfortunately she was very normal otherwise aside from being pretty dumb and unambitious.
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# ? Jul 27, 2016 05:52 |
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Oddly enough I had a girlfriend that thought she was really a werewolf too. She got four teeth marks tattooed on her neck and continuously lied about it being a tattoo. She pointed out that her new healing powers actually caused the punctures to close and scab up with in a couple days as "proof." She lied so much about anything and everything though that I really think she believed the stuff she was saying. She also told my best friend at his birthday party that she was pregnant, but I wasn't the father and that an angel was. Honestly I kind of miss the crazy she brought. Last I heard she moved to New Orleans (of course) and died when she passed out in a running car in a garage. Really don't know if that's true or not since her friend that told me that also told me she died in New York of a drug overdose.
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# ? Jul 27, 2016 06:11 |
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quote:I wish I could just cut off my own balls. It's not like I'm ever going to use them for anything and my sex drive ruins any interactions I have with women so they can just gently caress off tbh. quote:I have a gnome fetish, garden gnomes in particular but any gnome will do really. My biggest fantasy is that I discover the garden gnomes are alive and to keep their secret they shrink me and make me their gay sex slave.
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# ? Jul 27, 2016 06:21 |
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Im sorry you were molested by your grandma gnome goon.
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# ? Jul 27, 2016 06:26 |
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You can self castrate at home with a big rubber band relatively safely. Good luck and God bless confession goon
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# ? Jul 27, 2016 06:56 |
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I would advise against it. Not because it doesn't work (the internet taught me that it does), but because GODDAMN.
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# ? Jul 27, 2016 07:30 |
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Just slam your dick+balls in a car door over and over again until they're mashed to a pulp.
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# ? Jul 27, 2016 08:27 |
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Non-anonymous confession: After a year of lovely, messy break-up nonsense I filed divorce papers today and I thought it would give me a huge sense of relief but I actually just feel sad and lonely. There's no such thing as closure
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# ? Jul 27, 2016 11:35 |
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cyberia posted:Non-anonymous confession: After a year of lovely, messy break-up nonsense I filed divorce papers today and I thought it would give me a huge sense of relief but I actually just feel sad and lonely. Once it goes through you'll probably feel a bit better.
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# ? Jul 27, 2016 12:10 |
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cyberia posted:Non-anonymous confession: After a year of lovely, messy break-up nonsense I filed divorce papers today and I thought it would give me a huge sense of relief but I actually just feel sad and lonely. Once you're in a fulfilling relationship the contrast will make you feel a bliss approaching Nirvana. Jk you're going to die poor and alone and your body won't be found until a neighbor complains about the smell of your corpse lol
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# ? Jul 27, 2016 12:39 |
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at long last, someone who actually enjoyed the Gnome escort quest from HL Ep2
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# ? Jul 27, 2016 13:21 |
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cyberia posted:Non-anonymous confession: After a year of lovely, messy break-up nonsense I filed divorce papers today and I thought it would give me a huge sense of relief but I actually just feel sad and lonely. Who ever remarries first wins. Or if you're older, start banging someone younger than him/her.
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# ? Jul 27, 2016 13:21 |
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exethan posted:drat who was that its was a thread around the time i joined the forums so i have no idea and probably fake
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# ? Jul 27, 2016 20:46 |
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i know a guy who did a similar bad thing in ~2008 gonna ask him if he has stairs in his house hehe
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# ? Jul 27, 2016 20:49 |
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Nation posted:goddamit ddbj calm down Lmao
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# ? Jul 27, 2016 21:51 |
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H.H posted:I would advise against it. I'm gonna have to ask for details on this.
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# ? Jul 28, 2016 00:18 |
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I read an interview online with a dude who did this. It was years ago, so I don't remember where exactly. The only detail of the story I have any recollection of is that it was done as a part of a hosed up sexual master/slave situation and they didn't bother waiting until the guy who was about to lose his balls was 100% OK with it. You can try to find it if you like, I'm sure there are a lot of similar accounts. You really shouldn't do that to yourself, though.
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# ? Jul 28, 2016 01:03 |
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quote:I cannot stop myself from watching 9/11 news coverage on youtube. It started semi-innocently one day. I was just wondering to myself "Hrm.... how did NBC cover that day?" because I'm a weirdo and I'm interested things like that. That's probably why I was a virgin until the age of 22.
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# ? Jul 28, 2016 01:06 |
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H.H posted:I read an interview online with a dude who did this. It was years ago, so I don't remember where exactly.
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# ? Jul 28, 2016 01:07 |
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quote:Ok bud I got a few for ya. I'll start off light. quote:So I just want to warn you sensitive nerds ahead of time that this story involves cattes, and that the story does not end favorably for said cattes.
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# ? Jul 28, 2016 01:07 |
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H.H posted:Pissbitch No...no...not like this...I never wanted this....
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# ? Jul 28, 2016 01:43 |
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I find some idiot using the term cattes somehow more hateful
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# ? Jul 28, 2016 01:58 |
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The gently caress is it even supposed to mean?
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# ? Jul 28, 2016 01:59 |
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9/11 goon: I am also addicted to watching horrible poo poo, please join me in hell
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# ? Jul 28, 2016 02:00 |
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Solice Kirsk posted:The gently caress is it even supposed to mean? It's a feline version of a doge. You know, the ones that bork.
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# ? Jul 28, 2016 02:37 |
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H.H posted:I read an interview online with a dude who did this. It was years ago, so I don't remember where exactly. Well yeah, that's why I'm asking you to post it. Because you've already done it to yourself.
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# ? Jul 28, 2016 02:57 |
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Anne Whateley posted:IIRC it was one of the BMEzine April fool's pieces. I remember whoever wrote it screwed up as the name changes halfway through.
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# ? Jul 28, 2016 03:07 |
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H.H posted:I read an interview online with a dude who did this. It was years ago, so I don't remember where exactly. That "Nullo" interview was fake, sorry. The cat baseball guy is a horrible person. You can't excuse your past behavior on drugs if you still celebrate it. Probably fake but I've known enough human grease stains to know that it could be real.
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# ? Jul 28, 2016 03:13 |
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Maybe they changed the name to protect anonymity. This way it could be any of the rubber band ball removing people.
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# ? Jul 28, 2016 03:13 |
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if you refer to cats as "cattes" please strap a dildo to a desk fan and tornado plow your rear end to oblivion
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# ? Jul 28, 2016 03:47 |
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non-anonymous confession: I don't mind when people refer to cats as cattes hosed up but true
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# ? Jul 28, 2016 03:49 |
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Guys everyone stop the rubber band / tether method has been used to castrate male livestock from time immemorial. FFS it gets numb, purples, shrivels and blackens with necrosis until it falls off. H.H posted:You really shouldn't do that to yourself, though.
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# ? Jul 28, 2016 03:51 |
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Also my 2 cents you don't get to call cats cattes unless you yourself are a godsdamned cat-lover... e: Putty posted:if you refer to cats as "cattes" please strap a dildo to a desk fan and tornado plow your rear end to oblivion
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# ? Jul 28, 2016 03:52 |
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Dinosaurmageddon posted:Also my 2 cents you don't get to call cats cattes unless you yourself are a godsdamned cat-lover... Please do not gently caress cats.
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# ? Jul 28, 2016 04:10 |
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I don't think obsessing over disasters is all that bad unless you're getting off on it. Tragedy does weird poo poo to the human brain and sometimes it just keeps coming back around.
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# ? Jul 28, 2016 04:13 |
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quote:When she died I asked to inherit her collection. My whole family thinks it's because I had such great memories of staying there. But I really just like to put them in a circle and lie in the middle while I pretend they're giving me bukakke. this thread is pretty good, i think
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# ? Jul 28, 2016 04:17 |
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9/11 goon: There were some radio shows broadcasting live all day that day. Howard Stern's 9/11 show is on Youtube, last time I checked. It's horrible, but fascinating to listen to.
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# ? Jul 28, 2016 04:25 |
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# ? May 21, 2024 15:02 |
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Reclaimer posted:Tragedy does weird poo poo to the human brain and sometimes it just keeps coming back around. S'Truth - that's why it's so good to let it out sometimes, get rid of it somehow. That said: It's true: I am a godsdamned cat-lover. My current little black number is calling for me to stroke her whilst she sticks her face in a bowl of food, she just tugged on the edge of my shirt so I suppose I must away~
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# ? Jul 28, 2016 04:25 |