|
Putty posted:if you refer to cats as "cattes" please strap a dildo to a desk fan and tornado plow your rear end to oblivion Someone, please, explain how this works. I'm asking on behalf of Science.
|
#
?
Jul 28, 2016 04:28
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 9, 2024 22:18 |
|
|
Inzombiac posted:That "Nullo" interview was fake, sorry. Thank god. And now back to our normally scheduled programs (which are admittedly less horrible): quote:A friend of mine and I recently had our wildly different schedules align with a week of PTO. I had not seen him in about two years, and we fell out of regular contact about a year before that (he moved, and i started working graveyard shifts). Needless to say it was good to see him, as we were very close friends once upon a time. quote:I saw CWC, a deeply broken internet person in real life. They drive a car with a sonichu license plate. They weren't wearing the medallion. I had no idea they lived near me. They were balding and ran into a Food Lion.
|
|
#
?
Jul 28, 2016 04:29
|
|
|
9/11 goon is cursed to never forget, bearing forever the sin of our own forgetfulness 
|
|
#
?
Jul 28, 2016 04:30
|
|
|
To be fair, it's really compelling television. Like, maybe the Wire is better but that's it.
|
|
#
?
Jul 28, 2016 04:32
|
|
|
ANIME IS BLOOD posted:9/11 goon is cursed to never forget, bearing forever the sin of our own forgetfulness lol
|
|
#
?
Jul 28, 2016 04:40
|
|
|
The one thing sadder than CWC are the people obsessing over his life The Wiki on him probably has more pages and overall text than some African languages do on the regular Wikipedia
|
|
#
?
Jul 28, 2016 05:38
|
|
|
my non anonymous confession is that I think everyone who says "godsdamned" is a virgin and probably for many very good reasons
|
|
#
?
Jul 28, 2016 06:23
|
|
|
Animal-Mother posted:9/11 goon: There were some radio shows broadcasting live all day that day. Howard Stern's 9/11 show is on Youtube, last time I checked. It's horrible, but fascinating to listen to. I remember Phil Hendrie going off on some long tangent and suggesting that if Saddam was involved we should nuke Iraq.
|
|
#
?
Jul 28, 2016 07:15
|
|
|
Considering the phrase "ma'am, would you mind getting real loving beefy you queefer bitch" almost cost me my loving job yesterday because I couldn't for the goddamn life of me stop laughing, I'm gonna need the backstory for the whole pissbitch thing. I missed the last thread, so I only got a vague concept of the whole thing. A link will do. Tia
|
|
#
?
Jul 28, 2016 07:34
|
|
|
Here you go: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3726205&pagenumber=3&perpage=40#post446736974
|
|
#
?
Jul 28, 2016 07:50
|
|
|
Putty posted:if you refer to cats as "cattes" please strap a dildo to a desk fan and tornado plow your rear end to oblivion haha drat dude that's metal as gently caress
|
|
#
?
Jul 28, 2016 09:37
|
|
|
Hedrigall posted:Ovipositorgoon should read Saga, there's a smokin' spider babe in that Also he should play Brothers a tale of two sons because it would be supremely his jam
|
|
#
?
Jul 28, 2016 10:03
|
|
|
quote:I'm a virgin. I've never tried to lose my virginity and probably never will, because women terrify me. I'm genuinely afraid to even be near one or speak to one. I'm terrified that at any moment they could accuse me of rape and my life would immediately be over. On the few times I've been alone with a woman I've essentially reacted like I was in a room with a bear: play dead and flee at the first possible opportunity. I can't deal with it, no matter how much I try to tell myself that the fear is irrational I can't get rid of it. quote:I spend on average two, maybe three days each week at work ignoring my desk job and working on freelance writing assignments (nothing sexual, sorry goons). The worst part is not that I'm double-dipping and would be fired immediately if someone found out, it's that the combined payout is good enough that staying with a job I hate and double-dipping is my best and arguably easiest financial bet right now. If I were to leave to work somewhere else where I couldn't get away with this, it would have to come with a $10-15k raise just for me to break even. So if I want to pay off this wedding in a timely manner, or save more money for a house, I'm stuck abusing this system until a miracle opportunity comes along, or until my wife's job gives us a reason to move.
|
|
#
?
Jul 28, 2016 10:22
|
|
|
First goon: from the way you talk you'd probably still be a virgin even if you did try to lose it, if that makes you feel any better. If it gets you to sleep at night keep telling yourself you're only looking out for your own best interests and avoiding all the fake rape accusations sex-havers apparently have to deal with every day, but I think you know that's not the real reason.
|
|
#
?
Jul 28, 2016 10:55
|
|
|
Dude wrote :smith: in an email smdh
|
|
#
?
Jul 28, 2016 11:28
|
|
|
quote:A friend of mine and I recently had our wildly different schedules align with a week of PTO. I had not seen him in about two years, and we fell out of regular contact about a year before that (he moved, and i started working graveyard shifts). Needless to say it was good to see him, as we were very close friends once upon a time. You're absolutely right. I'd say take the risk and tell him how you feel. Sounds like you're good enough friends to get over it if he doesn't feel the same way. Edit: Have you considered writing him a three page love letter?
|
|
#
?
Jul 28, 2016 12:20
|
|
|
Acting like a pair of little Victorian ladies Tie up your balls and admit you want make out time with your best friend, like a true man 
|
|
#
?
Jul 28, 2016 12:22
|
|
|
H.H posted:A friend of mine and I recently had our wildly different schedules align with a week of PTO. I had not seen him in about two years, and we fell out of regular contact about a year before that (he moved, and i started working graveyard shifts). Needless to say it was good to see him, as we were very close friends once upon a time. Have you considered walking to his house with a printer?
|
|
#
?
Jul 28, 2016 12:25
|
|
|
just hire a hooker if you're that bothered
|
|
#
?
Jul 28, 2016 12:53
|
|
|
Jose posted:just hire a hooker if you're that bothered And get some string and a life-sized pic of your friend's face.
|
|
#
?
Jul 28, 2016 12:56
|
|
|
Dirk Squarejaw posted:And get some string and a life-sized pic of your friend's face. Cut a hole in the mouth and tape it over your dog's face so it looks like your friend is licking the peanut butter off your balls.
|
|
#
?
Jul 28, 2016 12:59
|
|
|
Just put it on and jack off in front of a mirror, why you guys gotta make things all complicated
|
|
#
?
Jul 28, 2016 13:04
|
|
|
H.H posted:
I mean this one's pretty obvious, but  Seriously, anxiety issues appear to be ruining your life and you need to get that dealt with. Find yourself a dude therapist so you can stand to be in the same room as him without gnawing your leg off, and get this poo poo figured out because you can't really live like this. quote:freelance writing dude Can I just say this actually sounds like a p good setup to me I mean, you hate your main job, whatever, plenty of people hate their jobs. I actually think it's kinda cool that you're able to fill your days with something you like better, and get paid $10-15K a year for it. That's a pretty sweet deal. Hell, I like my job and I'd like to be able to do that. I dunno if this makes you feel any better but regardless it's how I feel 
|
|
#
?
Jul 28, 2016 13:05
|
|
|
I think he feels bad about betraying his employer like a dumbshit bitch
|
|
#
?
Jul 28, 2016 13:15
|
|
|
loquacius posted:I mean this one's pretty obvious, but
|
|
#
?
Jul 28, 2016 17:36
|
|
|
re: the gay dude who loves his friend. just finagle a way to watch broke back mountain with him alone and everything else will take care of itself
|
|
#
?
Jul 28, 2016 19:21
|
|
|
updates plz
|
|
#
?
Jul 30, 2016 01:56
|
|
|
AEMINAL posted:The one thing sadder than CWC are the people obsessing over his life laughing at cwc is fine and cool because he publishes all his bs online. harambe actually died and everyone who makes fun of him is a horrible person #gorillameatisharam enjoy your memes responsibly people!! Rite Of Massage fucked around with this message at 09:02 on Jul 30, 2016 |
|
#
?
Jul 30, 2016 08:59
|
|
|
Nice to see the thread back, thanks H.H! So where was the thread before it got moved to GBS anyway?H.H posted:My older sister [... is] a self declared asexual with [...] a room full of [...] dildos Well I guess I learned that asexual doesn't mean what I thought it meant. Lucky I don't hang out on Tumblr, I could have put my foot in my mouth and triggered all sorts of special snowflakes. H.H posted:I cannot stop myself from watching 9/11 news coverage on youtube. I don't go out of my way to watch stuff about 9/11 and disasters that happened in the past, but when something like that actually happens I sometimes spend a lot of time watching and reading about it. I guess those things kind of fascinate me, and that weirds me out a bit. I guess I think about what it would be like to be there. How would I cope? Would I do the right things to survive? I'm not the type to do anything heroic but I'm generally inclined to help people even when it's not so good for me to do so, but would I do that even if I was in a somewhat life threatening situation? I guess for 9/11 I think more about being near the WTC than in it so I don't think so much about true risk of death, more like just the worry (panic?) you have about what is going to happen next. I was in a big city on 9/11 where nothing ended up happening, and I guess I wasn't in a panic, but I managed to build up a convincing story in my head about how terrorists might fly a plane into the building I work in even though it was part of a spread-out campus rather than a highrise. I did peel myself away from the 24 hour news coverage on 9/12 to go to the store but I guess I wonder how I would have coped if I was actually in NYC. I also think about emergency services people, and how important they are, and I guess I'd like to feel important like that too but I don't have the guts to do their kinds of jobs. I wonder if that wanting to feel important thing is what drives people to join the fire brigade and then set fire to things. I spent more time writing this post than I spend thinking about that sort of stuff in the average year though. Smithereens posted:laughing at cwc is fine and cool because he publishes all his bs online. I feel bad for laughing at CWC. Yeah, xie publishes that stuff but xie is maybe not able to understand why xie shouldn't post it.
|
|
#
?
Jul 30, 2016 15:08
|
|
|
Anxious Virgin needs to 1. Stop reading MRA horror stories. They are bullshit, nobody is going to accuse you of rape. For real. For real for real. 2. See a counselor or therapist. You are not the first person to feel this way. You are not the last. You are not alone. There are lovely MALE counselors that can listen to your troubles.
|
|
#
?
Jul 30, 2016 17:03
|
|
|
This thread is finally getting good again. There is nothing better than a confession that makes you literally  as you're reading.
|
|
#
?
Jul 30, 2016 17:15
|
|
|
Sorry for the lack of updates, I was away from a computer for the last couple of days. Back to business: quote:I watch porn a lot and stumbled onto a really interesting tutorial on how to cum hands free. I ended up trying it out of curiosity and it worked... sorta. Like I came and all but I didn't shoot. I then tried again to try to cum hands free a second time, and ended up shooting... a lot. I thought it was cool so I kept on shooting for a good 5 minutes or so. Then I smelt it. quote:I'm not going to get into specifics on this to avoid identification of any of the parties involved.
|
|
#
?
Jul 30, 2016 18:29
|
|
|
for the sake of everyone in the thread i will also test the forbidden hands free technique and report back
|
|
#
?
Jul 30, 2016 18:34
|
|
|
Putty posted:for the sake of everyone in the thread i will also test the forbidden hands free technique and report back you're a real human being, and a real hero
|
|
#
?
Jul 30, 2016 19:47
|
|
|
I'm wondering if this forbidden hands free technique was one of those hypno vids where a hot lady voice talks to you about boners and arousal and then does a count down, it's important that we know this for scientific research purposes.
|
|
#
?
Jul 30, 2016 22:29
|
|
|
I hope pee goon is a women because how does a male confuse cum and piss?
|
|
#
?
Jul 30, 2016 22:51
|
|
|
somewhere there is a hidden master of coming, having honed these techniques in his porn monastery for decades, living like a sexual ascetic Om is the bow, the arrow is the Soul, Nutting the mark, By the undistracted man is It to be penetrated, One should come to be in It, as the arrow becomes one with the mark. scared & hateful of women goon you should look into it
|
|
#
?
Jul 30, 2016 22:58
|
|
|
Bombadilillo posted:1. Stop reading MRA horror stories. If false accusations of rape are really a thing (I'm sure they probably are, but I've never heard of them outside of mocking MRAs), I'm sure that they are still a drop in the ocean compared to how many women actually get raped and don't report it  (yes I would be happier if none of these things happened ever)H.H posted:how to cum hands free If you need to use your hands to hold down the furry pet you're rubbing your penis on, is it still "hands-free"? e: Bonzo posted:I hope pee goon is a women because how does a male confuse cum and piss? I came up with a theory: maybe he was laying in bed on his side and not looking down. This way he doesn't see it and also it doesn't touch him so he can't tell it's not the right consistency. But then wouldn't the smell of piss just fill the room pretty quickly? It just doesn't make sense. Buttcoin purse fucked around with this message at 23:33 on Jul 30, 2016 |
|
#
?
Jul 30, 2016 23:28
|
|
|
|
|
#
?
Jul 30, 2016 23:34
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 9, 2024 22:18 |
|
|
Buttcoin purse posted:If false accusations of rape are really a thing (I'm sure they probably are, but I've never heard of them outside of mocking MRAs), I'm sure that they are still a drop in the ocean compared to how many women actually get raped and don't report it My vindictive exgirlfriend told our mutual friends that I had raped her. I found out and told her that I'd be contacting a lawyer if she kept lying about me. She immediately shut the hell up and told our friends that she had lied because she was so hurt by me. Unfortunately a few of them believed that I had somehow coerced her into denying it happened. To be clear, we never had any sexual contact so there was no raping. It also happened to my friend in high school although the girl later told people she was just using "tried to rape" to mean "tried to get a goodnight kiss after a date." Also happened to my cousin's friend at a party and they actually went to court but the girl's friends testified against her and said her parents were pressuring her into it which made no goddamn sense to me but whatever, maybe they were happier with their daughter being a rape victim than their daughter having consensual premarital sex? Also the goon probably smelled too bad for the piss to be detectable. flick my Mr. Bean fucked around with this message at 23:54 on Jul 30, 2016 |
|
#
?
Jul 30, 2016 23:47
|
|
