Wet Hot American Vantasy: Pursuant To Megan's Law

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Automotive Insanity > Wet Hot American Vantasy: Pursuant To Megan's Law

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Adiabatic: Nov 18, 2007; What have you assholes done now?

I got the new suspension and brakes in. It's coming along at a glacial pace.

# ? Aug 3, 2016 13:01

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# ? May 12, 2024 05:14

Suburban Dad: Jan 10, 2007; Well what's attached to a leash that it made itself?
The punchline is the way that you've been fuckin' yourself

Geirskogul posted:

That Cadillac with the cylinder deactivation.

Newer Escalades have cylinder deac. :smug:

# ? Aug 3, 2016 13:42

Queen_Combat: Jan 15, 2011

Still a punishment :colbert:

# ? Aug 3, 2016 16:31

alternate.eago: Jul 19, 2006; Insert randomness here.

Ripoff posted:

We need a punishment car to make him drive if he can't get the van together.

I'm thinking a 2001 Kia Rio.

Edit: Post the worst cars u got

I have an 89 ltd crown vic with on 2 gears left on the trans. Its got a sweet flowmaster, but only goes about 45mph.

# ? Aug 3, 2016 17:35

Suburban Dad: Jan 10, 2007; Well what's attached to a leash that it made itself?
The punchline is the way that you've been fuckin' yourself

Geirskogul posted:

Still a punishment

As an owner of a couple of old VWs, you should be the expert on the subject.

# ? Aug 3, 2016 18:10

Cached Money: Apr 11, 2010

alternate.eago posted:

I have an 89 ltd crown vic with on 2 gears left on the trans. Its got a sweet flowmaster, but only goes about 45mph.

The milage on that alone is punishment.

edit: also joke car suggestion: variomatic volvo; 60 mph, in reverse :unsmigghh:

Cached Money fucked around with this message at 19:12 on Aug 3, 2016

# ? Aug 3, 2016 19:03

Queen_Combat: Jan 15, 2011

Larrymer posted:

As an owner of a couple of old VWs, you should be the expert on the subject.

So, go all "Botswana Special" and make the punishment car a beetle?

# ? Aug 3, 2016 20:39

alternate.eago: Jul 19, 2006; Insert randomness here.

Cached Money posted:

The milage on that alone is punishment.

It does have working AC though.

# ? Aug 3, 2016 20:49

Leperflesh: May 17, 2007

This is the van thread. The punishment vehicle has to be the worst minivan possible... although I admit I don't know what that would be. Presumably something made by Chrysler. A Plymouth?

Failing that, my vote would be for some miserable 1970s-80s J-body.

Geirskogul posted:

That Cadillac with the cylinder deactivation.

Cadillac Fleetwood V8-6-4

# ? Aug 3, 2016 20:51

Darchangel: Feb 12, 2009; Tell him about the blower!

I am unreasonably excited to experience this project vicariously.

Left Ventricle posted:

Oldsmobile Delta 88 4.3L diesel.

Completely unrelated to the van saga, but if you find one of these in the wrecking yard, I may need the serpentine belt drive and accessories/brackets from it. My info says that the 4.3L diesel is a 5.7L Olds-based diesel with teo cylinders whacked off (ala Chevy 4.3 vs 5.7 gas engines). I want that front dress for my Olds 350.

# ? Aug 3, 2016 20:53

PhotoKirk: Jul 2, 2007; insert witty text here

Leperflesh posted:

This is the van thread. The punishment vehicle has to be the worst minivan possible... although I admit I don't know what that would be. Presumably something made by Chrysler. A Plymouth?

There was the era of Town & Country vans that liked to eat transmissions. Early 2000's? My brother had one.

Or the Nissan Quest with MOPAR-levels of electrical gremlins.

# ? Aug 3, 2016 21:09

triple clutcher: Jul 3, 2012

Leperflesh posted:

This is the van thread. The punishment vehicle has to be the worst minivan possible... although I admit I don't know what that would be. Presumably something made by Chrysler. A Plymouth?

aren't the late Ford minivans ( Freestar, I think ) supposed to be tepid garbage? I recall them having issues with the transmission and frame rot, as well as being available in hideous shades of pink and purple.

# ? Aug 3, 2016 21:19

IOwnCalculus: Apr 2, 2003

PhotoKirk posted:

There was the era of Town & Country vans that liked to eat transmissions. Early 2000's? My brother had one.

I'm pretty sure that era is "all of them".

# ? Aug 3, 2016 21:30

iForge: Oct 28, 2010; Apple's new "iBlacksmith Suite: Professional Edition" features the iForge, iAnvil, and the iHammer.

1991 chrysler lebaron convertible, but it has to be the i4

# ? Aug 3, 2016 21:31

Queen_Combat: Jan 15, 2011

iForge posted:

1991 chrysler lebaron convertible, but it has to be the i4

Calm down, Satan. You don't want any suicides on your conscience.

# ? Aug 3, 2016 21:37

meatpimp: May 15, 2004; Psst -- Wanna buy

EVERYWHERE
some high-quality thread's DESTROYED!

I just spotted a fish on dry land.

# ? Aug 3, 2016 21:38

Leperflesh: May 17, 2007

Unfortunately, if you choose a punishment vehicle which has the major flaws of an unreliable powertrain, you're not actually achieving the desired effect... because if it simply won't run, it stops functioning as a punishment vehicle. So what you want is a vehicle that is miserable to be in, miserable to drive, and has unreliable poo poo like electronics, body work, etc... but will still run and stop.

That's of course what made the bug a good punishment vehicle for the Botswana episode: the hosts considered it to be miserable to drive, but it doggedly kept up with the crew and didn't break down at all, so they had no valid excuse for leaving it behind.

# ? Aug 3, 2016 21:38

Queen_Combat: Jan 15, 2011

So, a beetle, or a pre-2005 kia rio.

# ? Aug 3, 2016 21:47

Pigsfeet on Rye: Oct 22, 2008; I'm meat on the hoof

Leperflesh posted:

Unfortunately, if you choose a punishment vehicle which has the major flaws of an unreliable powertrain, you're not actually achieving the desired effect... because if it simply won't run, it stops functioning as a punishment vehicle. So what you want is a vehicle that is miserable to be in, miserable to drive, and has unreliable poo poo like electronics, body work, etc... but will still run and stop.

So something like a Renault Le Car? Or a Chevy Chevette?

# ? Aug 3, 2016 21:49

literally a fish: Oct 2, 2014; German officer Johannes Bolter peeks out the hatch of his Tiger I heavy tank during a quiet moment before the Battle of Kursk - c:1943 (colorized); Slippery Tilde

It's a shame that you guys never got the Mitsubishi Magna :v:

I'm in Dallas btw. Can confirm that STR is in fact a human and didn't kill me. So far, so good. :sun:

# ? Aug 3, 2016 23:37

randomidiot: May 12, 2006; by Fluffdaddy
(and can't post for 11 years!)

Can confirm that literally a fish is not a fish at all, with :siren:

photographic proof :siren:

# ? Aug 4, 2016 02:42

sharkytm: Oct 9, 2003; Ba

By

Sharkytm doot doo do doot do doo; Fallen Rib

some texas redneck posted:

Can confirm that literally a fish is not a fish at all, with photographic proof

I'm not convinced:

The hair could be hiding his operculum.

# ? Aug 4, 2016 03:43

ExecuDork: Feb 25, 2007; We might be fucked, sir.; Fallen Rib

Leperflesh posted:

This is the van thread. The punishment vehicle has to be the worst minivan possible... although I admit I don't know what that would be. Presumably something made by Chrysler. A Plymouth?

I owned and DD'd a 1990 Dodge Grand Caravan in lose-it-in-every-parking-lot "Ice Blue". It was a turd, a turd I kept on life support for more than 7 years because I'm really dumb.

The Plymouth Voyager suggestion is good - the first-gen, mid-1980's version with the 4-eyes headlights is pretty high on the list of absolute dogs. The transmission is guaranteed to poo poo the bed, slowly. As in, "That felt like a bit of a rough shift... wonder if something's wrong" followed a day later by "CLUNK" as the planetaries head for orbit.

PhotoKirk posted:

There was the era of Town & Country vans that liked to eat transmissions. Early 2000's? My brother had one.

I think every a604 tranny Chrysler ever built had to be re-built by an aftermarket shop or scrapped at some point. "Made of glass" is most of the way to an accurate description.

Leperflesh posted:

Unfortunately, if you choose a punishment vehicle which has the major flaws of an unreliable powertrain, you're not actually achieving the desired effect... because if it simply won't run, it stops functioning as a punishment vehicle. So what you want is a vehicle that is miserable to be in, miserable to drive, and has unreliable poo poo like electronics, body work, etc... but will still run and stop.

That's of course what made the bug a good punishment vehicle for the Botswana episode: the hosts considered it to be miserable to drive, but it doggedly kept up with the crew and didn't break down at all, so they had no valid excuse for leaving it behind.

Good point. I still like the first-gen Chrysler minivan, but swap out the engine for something less spastic and more cockroach-ey.

# ? Aug 4, 2016 04:02

Liquid Communism: Mar 9, 2004

Geirskogul posted:

Calm down, Satan. You don't want any suicides on your conscience.

I drove one of those for a while in high school.

Fun little piece of junk until I grenaded the transmission at 55 on the highway, having never even driven it in anger.

Liquid Communism fucked around with this message at 04:17 on Aug 4, 2016

# ? Aug 4, 2016 04:15

PainterofCrap: Oct 17, 2002; hey bebe

Ripoff posted:

We need a punishment car to make him drive if he can't get the van together.

I'm thinking a 2001 Kia Rio.

Edit: Post the worst cars u got

How about a hot-pink Twingo with Benneton upholstery?

All it needs is a dildo on a bedspring mounted on the hood

# ? Aug 4, 2016 05:06

Wrar: Sep 9, 2002; Soiled Meat

PainterofCrap posted:

How about a hot-pink Twingo with Benneton upholstery?

All it needs is a dildo on a bedspring mounted on the hood

I have an insane urge to make that car go way faster than intended.

# ? Aug 4, 2016 15:23

Pomp and Circumcized: Dec 23, 2006; If there's one thing I love more than GruntKilla420, it's the Queen! Also bacon.

Wrar posted:

I have an insane urge to make that car go way faster than intended.

So... 40mph?

# ? Aug 4, 2016 15:25

Beverly Cleavage: Jun 22, 2004; I am a pretty pretty princess, watch me do my pretty princess dance....

ShittyPostmakerPro posted:

So... 40mph?

I was going to say off a cliff. Po-tay-toes, Po-tah-toes.

# ? Aug 4, 2016 15:26

PhotoKirk: Jul 2, 2007; insert witty text here

Wrar posted:

I have an insane urge to make that car go way faster than intended.

Transverse Duramax with a smoke chip and a giant stack sticking through the roof

# ? Aug 4, 2016 15:33

Terrible Robot: Jul 2, 2010; FRIED CHICKEN; Slippery Tilde

THE FISH IS HERE

# ? Aug 4, 2016 17:33

slothrop: Dec 7, 2006; Santa Alpha, Fox One... Gifts Incoming ~~~>===|>; Soiled Meat

Terrible Robot posted:

THE FISH IS HERE

Great av/post combo

# ? Aug 5, 2016 12:58

literally a fish: Oct 2, 2014; German officer Johannes Bolter peeks out the hatch of his Tiger I heavy tank during a quiet moment before the Battle of Kursk - c:1943 (colorized); Slippery Tilde

I just spent the last 36 hours making GBS threads liquid

gas station whataburgers: not even once

BUT I'M MOSTLY OK NOW.

# ? Aug 5, 2016 18:19

Siochain: May 24, 2005; "can they get rid of any humans who are fans of shitheads like Kanye West, 50 Cent, or any other piece of crap "artist" who thinks they're all that?

And also get rid of anyone who has posted retarded shit on the internet."

literally a fish posted:

I just spent the last 36 hours making GBS threads liquid

gas station whataburgers: not even once

BUT I'M MOSTLY OK NOW.

Should know better than to eat street food in a third world country.

# ? Aug 5, 2016 19:39

sharkytm: Oct 9, 2003; Ba

By

Sharkytm doot doo do doot do doo; Fallen Rib

Siochain posted:

Should know better than to eat street food in a third world country.

Hey now. We're not Soviet, so we can't be third world. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_World

# ? Aug 6, 2016 05:03

literally a fish: Oct 2, 2014; German officer Johannes Bolter peeks out the hatch of his Tiger I heavy tank during a quiet moment before the Battle of Kursk - c:1943 (colorized); Slippery Tilde

I LOVE YOU SNEED

(This isn't going on the van this year but oh my god it's so perfect it's bigger than my head)

# ? Aug 6, 2016 05:18

sharkytm: Oct 9, 2003; Ba

By

Sharkytm doot doo do doot do doo; Fallen Rib

CAT approved!

What's it going on, if not the van?

# ? Aug 6, 2016 05:24

Slung Blade: Jul 11, 2002; IN STEEL WE TRUST

sharkytm posted:

CAT approved!

What's it going on, if not the van?

If I know anything about these self-destructive yahoos it'll be whatever mobility scooter holdbrooks/Ken gets their mitts on.

# ? Aug 6, 2016 05:32

literally a fish: Oct 2, 2014; German officer Johannes Bolter peeks out the hatch of his Tiger I heavy tank during a quiet moment before the Battle of Kursk - c:1943 (colorized); Slippery Tilde

sharkytm posted:

CAT approved!

What's it going on, if not the van?

Oh it's going on the van. That's for sure. Just not yet, because hahahahaha we have like two weeks to make this work :ohdear:

Build party at Wes's place (richmond, VA) this weekend and next. If you wanna come help oh my GOD please do come help because we will need all the help we can get.

Hit me up in a PM or text me at 4three4-three2six-twosix24 (my US # for this trippe) or wherever else if you need the address and wanna come help out, goons :v:

# ? Aug 6, 2016 06:23

randomidiot: May 12, 2006; by Fluffdaddy
(and can't post for 11 years!)

Someone has clearly spent a lot of time in the Craigslist /m4m section. :colbert:

# ? Aug 6, 2016 06:54

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# ? May 12, 2024 05:14

literally a fish: Oct 2, 2014; German officer Johannes Bolter peeks out the hatch of his Tiger I heavy tank during a quiet moment before the Battle of Kursk - c:1943 (colorized); Slippery Tilde

no i just hate spam

# ? Aug 6, 2016 09:58

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