webex thread: from each according to their inability to mute their phone

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > webex thread: from each according to their inability to mute their phone

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SO DEMANDING: Dec 27, 2003

Jonny 290 posted:

yall get ready, the quarterly yospos conference call is coming up.

i'll have a bridge running off my asterisk box we can dial into, and there may be a webex

the webex will just be goatse, right?

# ? Aug 8, 2016 14:44

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# ? Apr 30, 2024 05:22

Shaggar: Apr 26, 2006

Jonny 290 posted:

yall get ready, the quarterly yospos conference call is coming up.

i'll have a bridge running off my asterisk box we can dial into, and there may be a webex

UGH, JUST USE THE WEBEX AUDIO GOD drat

# ? Aug 8, 2016 15:10

Thanks Ants: May 21, 2004; #essereFerrari

use both, garbage quality pstn connection with a 20 year old phone, and then slightly delayed laptop microphone with the setting to play audio back through the speakers turned on.

# ? Aug 8, 2016 15:21

Asymmetric POSTer: Aug 17, 2005

Thanks Ants posted:

use both, garbage quality pstn connection with a 20 year old phone, and then slightly delayed laptop microphone with the setting to play audio back through the speakers turned on.

cell phone is worse quality than an old landline due to the more aggressive compression

an older cell phone (so it doesn't have dual mics for noise cancelling) outside during a windy day and never mute it

# ? Aug 8, 2016 15:34

Iridium: Apr 4, 2002; Wretched Harp

we have a guy in my office that I call wordydev.

wordydev has been with us for ages now and he's loving brilliant, great guy to work with. company has worked hard to keep him on hand and rightly so.

wordydev has a problem though, in that he's the God King of explainer-land. he starts covering a concept and feels like he has to go way the gently caress down the rabbithole trying to explain to everyone with no regard whatsoever to the need to explain it, or the need that it be understood. room full of business peeps so he can hear what they need doing? he'll start explaining how he'll do it down to the code level while they get bored or wander off to get coffee. this is such an issue that he told me once it was part of his annual performance objectives to try to stop pulling that poo poo. didn't work.

the problem is much, much larger when he's not there in person to pick up on the cues that he's going on too long, making conference calls a chore. few people are willing to remote-mute his line when he goes off on one of these tangents, and because he's busy talking, he rarely hears people shouting to tell him to stop, we got it.

a few weeks ago, wordydev went to working 100% remote.

:smithicide:

# ? Aug 8, 2016 16:19

ChickenOfTomorrow: Nov 11, 2012; god damn it, you've got to be kind

Iridium posted:

we have a guy in my office that I call wordydev.

gently caress, it me

# ? Aug 8, 2016 16:27

jammyozzy: Dec 7, 2006; Is that a challenge?

I'm not even in a meeting, but the "WebEx document loader" has made itself the default printer on my work machine regardless of which printer is set as default in the control panel. :argh:

# ? Aug 8, 2016 16:36

Uncle Enzo: Apr 28, 2008; I always wanted to be a Wizard

Iridium posted:

we have a guy in my office that I call wordydev.

wordydev has been with us for ages now and he's loving brilliant, great guy to work with. company has worked hard to keep him on hand and rightly so.

wordydev has a problem though, in that he's the God King of explainer-land. he starts covering a concept and feels like he has to go way the gently caress down the rabbithole trying to explain to everyone with no regard whatsoever to the need to explain it, or the need that it be understood. room full of business peeps so he can hear what they need doing? he'll start explaining how he'll do it down to the code level while they get bored or wander off to get coffee. this is such an issue that he told me once it was part of his annual performance objectives to try to stop pulling that poo poo. didn't work.

the problem is much, much larger when he's not there in person to pick up on the cues that he's going on too long, making conference calls a chore. few people are willing to remote-mute his line when he goes off on one of these tangents, and because he's busy talking, he rarely hears people shouting to tell him to stop, we got it.

a few weeks ago, wordydev went to working 100% remote.

could be worse, plenty of people out there who do this stuff except they don't even know what they're talking about

solution: find someone who he trusts + likes, who will frequently or always be in the same meetings as him. Pre-arrange an obvious signal for him to shut up, like right that second. Your first instinct is going to be some kind of subtle hand motion or something, forget that. Something big and obvious.... but now that I think about it I don't see anything that'll work with him in a quiet room talking into a mic with no one around to come tell him to put a sock in it. In an in-person meeting have the trusted person get up, walk over to him, and put their hand on his shoulder.

But remote? Yeah get ready to hear some details

# ? Aug 8, 2016 18:34

hobbesmaster: Jan 28, 2008

Iridium posted:

we have a guy in my office that I call wordydev.

wordydev has been with us for ages now and he's loving brilliant, great guy to work with. company has worked hard to keep him on hand and rightly so.

wordydev has a problem though, in that he's the God King of explainer-land. he starts covering a concept and feels like he has to go way the gently caress down the rabbithole trying to explain to everyone with no regard whatsoever to the need to explain it, or the need that it be understood. room full of business peeps so he can hear what they need doing? he'll start explaining how he'll do it down to the code level while they get bored or wander off to get coffee. this is such an issue that he told me once it was part of his annual performance objectives to try to stop pulling that poo poo. didn't work.

the problem is much, much larger when he's not there in person to pick up on the cues that he's going on too long, making conference calls a chore. few people are willing to remote-mute his line when he goes off on one of these tangents, and because he's busy talking, he rarely hears people shouting to tell him to stop, we got it.

a few weeks ago, wordydev went to working 100% remote.

the problem is you're not saying it in a language he understands

tell him to do breadth first instead of depth first

# ? Aug 8, 2016 20:36

Joe 30330: Dec 20, 2007; "We have this notion that if you're poor, you cannot do it. Poor kids are just as bright and just as talented as white kids."

As the audience reluctantly began to applaud during the silence, Biden tried to fix his remarks.

"Wealthy kids, black kids, Asian kids -- no, I really mean it." Biden said.

double ohm seven posted:

many moons ago I used to do remote training for our really lovely, really expensive image analysis tool.

my standard procedure was to use the example pictures in Windows xp because they're always there and they're always the same.

since the client was hosting the demo on their end I always asked before I went in there because I had to go through the My Pictures route. well, one call went like this.

"I need some images to analyze, do you min of I use the sample pictures in My Pictures?"

"yeah sure, go ahead... NBNNNLOOOoo"

*content of my pictures flash on the screen, revealing 2000 really misogynic porn*

his invite to the follow up lesson bounced, "no such address" lol

I have used the koala in so many presentations to great success

# ? Aug 8, 2016 22:51

maniacdevnull: Apr 18, 2007; FOUR CUBIC FRAMES
DISPROVES SOFT G GOD
YOU ARE EDUCATED STUPID

ChickenOfTomorrow posted:

gently caress it, me

# ? Aug 9, 2016 00:21

maniacdevnull: Apr 18, 2007; FOUR CUBIC FRAMES
DISPROVES SOFT G GOD
YOU ARE EDUCATED STUPID

who's got two thumbs and a 5 hour call scheduled to end at 6pm tomorrow :shepicide:

# ? Aug 9, 2016 00:22

Agile Vector: May 21, 2007; scrum bored

indigi posted:

there's no worse feeling in the world than knowing you just snitched on yourself. but who keeps porn in "My Pictures," wtf

maybe he made them himself???

# ? Aug 9, 2016 00:40

Clockwerk: Apr 6, 2005

Agile Vector posted:

maybe he made them himself???

# ? Aug 9, 2016 01:09

Fanged Lawn Wormy: Jan 4, 2008; SQUEAK! SQUEAK! SQUEAK!

Millstone posted:

I have used the koala in so many presentations to great success

big fan of mr. scruff for audio testing here

# ? Aug 9, 2016 01:23

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

hobbesmaster posted:

the problem is you're not saying it in a language he understands

tell him to do breadth first instead of depth first

Lmao

# ? Aug 9, 2016 01:29

Stymie: Jan 9, 2001; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

this is a really fun rp thread, i enjoy the excellent writing

makes you really feel how awful it would be to have a job where you have to go to online meetings

# ? Aug 9, 2016 01:41

duTrieux.: Oct 9, 2003

Stymie posted:

this is a really fun rp thread, i enjoy the excellent writing

makes you really feel how awful it would be to have a job where you have to go to online meetings

you don't go to online meetings. they come to you!

# ? Aug 9, 2016 02:01

Satellit3: Oct 21, 2008

Agile Vector posted:

maybe he made them himself???

# ? Aug 9, 2016 05:58

Thanks Ants: May 21, 2004; #essereFerrari

maniacdevnull posted:

who's got two thumbs and a 5 hour call scheduled to end at 6pm tomorrow

# ? Aug 9, 2016 09:49

carry on then: Jul 10, 2010; by VideoGames
(and can't post for 10 years!)

oh boy, a product manager joined the end of iteration demos, guess it's time for this to be his personal conference to discuss whatever

# ? Aug 9, 2016 15:06

maniacdevnull: Apr 18, 2007; FOUR CUBIC FRAMES
DISPROVES SOFT G GOD
YOU ARE EDUCATED STUPID

carry on then posted:

oh boy, a product manager joined the end of iteration demos, guess it's time for this to be his personal conference to discuss whatever

"Send me the agenda so i know what will be discussed"
"Hey sorry I know I joined late, but can we start over from first principles? I'm in management and getting up to speed here so let's make this work for my time"

# ? Aug 9, 2016 15:27

indigi: Jul 20, 2004; ^{how can we not talk about family

when family's all that we got?}

maniacdevnull posted:

who's got two thumbs and a 5 hour call scheduled to end at 6pm tomorrow

5 hour call? do they have breaks scheduled in?

# ? Aug 9, 2016 15:41

Agile Vector: May 21, 2007; scrum bored

indigi posted:

5 hour call? do they have breaks scheduled in?

lol

# ? Aug 9, 2016 16:07

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

maniacdevnull posted:

who's got two thumbs and a 5 hour call scheduled to end at 6pm tomorrow

What the gently caress

# ? Aug 9, 2016 17:07

CRIP EATIN BREAD: Jun 24, 2002; Hey stop worrying bout my acting bitch, and worry about your WACK ass music. In the mean time... Eat a hot bowl of Dicks! Ice T; Soiled Meat

ive weaseled a deal where our project manager does all the calls and i never show up and then when there's something that may involve me coming up he waves me in. i give my two cents, then go back to my office and do real work without telling anyone else on the call.

# ? Aug 9, 2016 17:11

FrozenVent: May 1, 2009; The Boeing 737-200QC is the undisputed workhorse of the skies.

I once had an eight hour webex type thing with a lunch break built in, it was held overseas so it started at 3:00 am for me

gently caress this thread fore minding me

# ? Aug 10, 2016 06:05

Thanks Ants: May 21, 2004; #essereFerrari

i can only assume that the people who book 8 hour webex calls are the types of people who frequently say "well we have to be seen to be doing something!!!"

# ? Aug 10, 2016 07:58

maniacdevnull: Apr 18, 2007; FOUR CUBIC FRAMES
DISPROVES SOFT G GOD
YOU ARE EDUCATED STUPID

indigi posted:

5 hour call? do they have breaks scheduled in?

Agile Vector posted:

lol

They took a 5 minute break that ran for 20mins total due to some technical issue at the site. I enjoyed a silent conference room (not sarcasm, it was so nice after all that)

# ? Aug 10, 2016 13:38

Cat Face Joe: Feb 20, 2005; goth vegan crossfit mom who vapes

FrozenVent posted:

I once had an eight hour webex type thing with a lunch break built in, it was held overseas so it started at 3:00 am for me

gently caress this thread fore minding me

decline all meetings before 7am

# ? Aug 10, 2016 15:00

SO DEMANDING: Dec 27, 2003

this call isn't really a clusterfuck but I'm falling asleep uuuuggggghhhh

# ? Aug 10, 2016 19:34

maniacdevnull: Apr 18, 2007; FOUR CUBIC FRAMES
DISPROVES SOFT G GOD
YOU ARE EDUCATED STUPID

SO DEMANDING posted:

this call isn't really a clusterfuck but I'm falling asleep uuuuggggghhhh

Sleep Tight Pupper

# ? Aug 10, 2016 19:50

duTrieux.: Oct 9, 2003

SO DEMANDING posted:

this call isn't really a clusterfuck but I'm falling asleep uuuuggggghhhh

quick, strip a usb cable and shock yourself with it

# ? Aug 10, 2016 20:26

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

Cat Face Joe posted:

decline all meetings

# ? Aug 10, 2016 21:00

SO DEMANDING: Dec 27, 2003

i survived the call but it ended up being a clusterfuck in terms of not getting a goddamn thing done and running out of time because lol why prepare for anything ever?

# ? Aug 10, 2016 21:31

Agile Vector: May 21, 2007; scrum bored

sounds like a successful use of video conferencing services provided by $YOURCOMPANYNAMEHERE

# ? Aug 10, 2016 21:34

duTrieux.: Oct 9, 2003

whenever i hold a conference call that poo poo is tight. (i'm part of a trianing suborg and we're always trying to whip others into shape and it doesn't work, it never works ebcause we can't fire or discipline people)

# ? Aug 10, 2016 21:34

SO DEMANDING: Dec 27, 2003

duTrieux. posted:

whenever i hold a conference call that poo poo is tight. (i'm part of a trianing suborg and we're always trying to whip others into shape and it doesn't work, it never works ebcause we can't fire or discipline people)

yeah this call has rotating hosts and a couple manage to actually keep a schedule and keep things in the call moving, the rest are completely loving useless. "ok first on the agenda is this thing...any questions?" *allows call to descend into utter chaos, doesnt speak again until the very end of the call* "ok we'll cover the rest of the items next week"

# ? Aug 10, 2016 21:38

Bloody: Mar 3, 2013

SO DEMANDING posted:

yeah this call has rotating hosts and a couple manage to actually keep a schedule and keep things in the call moving, the rest are completely loving useless. "ok first on the agenda is this thing...any questions?" *allows call to descend into utter chaos, doesnt speak again until the very end of the call* "ok we'll cover the rest of the items next week"

lol if you don't start the call that way then just leave for the rest of the duration

# ? Aug 10, 2016 22:44

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# ? Apr 30, 2024 05:22

Asymmetric POSTer: Aug 17, 2005

Bloody posted:

lol if you don't start the call that way then just jack off for the rest of the duration

# ? Aug 10, 2016 23:07

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > webex thread: from each according to their inability to mute their phone

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