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I don't understand why being too scared to report your abuser becomes a character flaw when you know he's abusing someone else. I can see how it can make the victim feel shittier but from the wife's perspective it should just be another layer of the abuse.
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Aug 9, 2016 14:31
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Lol if you woudlnt beat someone with a spatula for saying that to you in earnest
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Aug 9, 2016 14:35
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I can see why there would be a lot of pent up frustration on your side and I could totally see why you would flat-hand slap her at that point. (Not saying that's cool, you should NEVER hit your SO, just saying I could see why.) However, hitting her with a spatula could be seen as "attacking with a weapon", in all seriousness, I would pro-actively "lawyer up". Just in case she decides to press charges in order to milk you for money or get a better divorce deal or whatever. Yes this is your wife and mother of your kids, but this is also about her kids at the core. If she does not trust you with them anyway, you just gave her more ammo. And chances are her parents, your friends etc. will not be on your side. Sorry buddy, you went through a lot, but you just made it hella worse. You could ask her to meet at your therapist (I assume you have one) so he can explain to her what she did to you by basically saying you are a future child molester, but she may say no.
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Aug 9, 2016 14:35
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what kind of spatula would even make a decent weapon anyway? they are too light to do anything
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Aug 9, 2016 14:35
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City of Tampa posted:what kind of spatula would even make a decent weapon anyway? they are too light to do anything Do a google image search for "lasagna spatula". Mine even has a serrated edge. And don't even ask about metal BBQ spatulas. Not everybody cooks with silicone. So potentially that's bad.
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Aug 9, 2016 14:39
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Spatulas hurt but we have all seen words hurt a lot more
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Aug 9, 2016 14:41
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I'm less concerned about whether he was right to not turn in his cousin and more that it seems like the last part is suggesting he wants to do a murder suicide to get rid of himself/the cousin. Unless he means take down legally, which probably isn't going to work if a large length of time has gone by since it actually happened. e: vvv it'd still be hard I think, because as far as most courts/people are concerned in a case where it's one guy's word against a cop's word, the cop is more likely to be given the benefit of the doubt. Still worth a shot I guess. yeah I eat ass fucked around with this message at 14:55 on Aug 9, 2016 |
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Aug 9, 2016 14:46
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Yeah, but I think you can still do a civil suit even if the statute of limitations has run out, plus with him being a cop, just being seen as a -possible- chomo would likely end his career. The thought of a known chomo running around in a cop's uniform worries me more than anything else about this sad-rear end story.
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Aug 9, 2016 14:52
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JnnyThndrs posted:Yeah, but I think you can still do a civil suit even if the statute of limitations has run out, plus with him being a cop, just being seen as a -possible- chomo would likely end his career. edit: not loving worth it Cumslut1895 fucked around with this message at 15:02 on Aug 9, 2016 |
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Aug 9, 2016 14:57
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Murphy Brownback posted:I'm less concerned about whether he was right to not turn in his cousin and more that it seems like the last part is suggesting he wants to do a murder suicide to get rid of himself/the cousin. Unless he means take down legally, which probably isn't going to work if a large length of time has gone by since it actually happened. also the cousin being a cop means that the prosecutor is even less inclined to do anything about it. this guy is going to end up being shot by a cop at a traffic stop if he tries to get the cousin in trouble
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Aug 9, 2016 14:57
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I didn't think of the hard type lasagna spatulas. I was assuming it was one of those flexible spatulas you use for pancakes. Then yeah not cool.
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Aug 9, 2016 15:28
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This is probably an academic distinction, but to "beat the poo poo out of" someone is not the same thing as to "smack the poo poo out of" someone. One implies one blow and the other implies a bunch of blows. So he didn't full-on beat his wife into submission, he just kind of snapped and whacked her one with a spatula. Neither one is something that should be accepted, of course. She's in the right to move out after that happened, but she absolutely wasn't in the right to keep their kids away from him or to say that in the first place. It's a hosed-up story and has been since we first heard the premise.
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Aug 9, 2016 15:33
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You're making an awful lot of assumptions based on basically nothing. I've never in my life heard that either "beat/smack the poo poo out of" implied exclusively one hit.
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Aug 9, 2016 15:53
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Murphy Brownback posted:You're making an awful lot of assumptions based on basically nothing. I've never in my life heard that either "beat/smack the poo poo out of" implied exclusively one hit. No, I was saying that "beat" means a lot of hits and "smack" doesn't necessarily
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Aug 9, 2016 15:54
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loquacius posted:No, I was saying that "beat" means a lot of hits and "smack" doesn't necessarily Yeah but in your first post you said it definitively, like one always means once and one always means a lot. It doesn't matter whether it was 1 or 50 times in terms of wrongness but like I said you seem to be giving him a lot of credit based on semantics that not a lot of people would agree with.
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Aug 9, 2016 16:00
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How about no one cares about your definition of abuse and let's not get the thread gassed k?
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Aug 9, 2016 16:02
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Yeah I kind of wasn't interested in starting a big long discussion over that when I posted it, sorry
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Aug 9, 2016 16:03
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I think hitting people is bad. Sorry for the derail.
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Aug 9, 2016 16:05
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she was asking for it imo
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Aug 9, 2016 16:06
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he shouldn't have hit her with the spatula he should have just wiped it on her shirt, that would make her way more angry
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Aug 9, 2016 16:09
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Whether she deserved it or was asking for it or not, it's still gunna cause a lot of trouble and prove to her that she was right to keep him away from the kids. (not saying she WAS right in that, just that this will probably prove that to her). I hope you're still going to therapy, and that she'll be willing to go to couples therapy with you to help work this out. Needless to say, you gotta work on not doing that poo poo again no matter how mad someone makes you, because it's just gunna make poo poo worse.
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Aug 9, 2016 16:11
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loquacius posted:Yeah I kind of wasn't interested in starting a big long discussion over that when I posted it, sorry  people really want to argue with you
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Aug 9, 2016 16:17
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didnt spongebob use his spatula as a weapon at one point
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Aug 9, 2016 16:23
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He mentioned she had basically expunged the fact that she said anything at all from her version of the story, I wonder if that detail is also absent from her own mental version of the incident We can agree that hitting people is (a) bad, not good, (b) a tactical error in the argument in question, and (c) probably a death knell for a marriage that was already in trouble also that murdering the rapist cop cousin is not a good plan, even if the anon feels like he doesn't have a lot to live for atm.
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Aug 9, 2016 16:33
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Murdering a child raping cop and committing suicide isn't the worst thing in the world. If he had life insurance for his kids and had it for over 2 years that's another benefit. Now I'm not saying he should do it, mostly cause its probably not true, but there would be some good from it.
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Aug 9, 2016 16:41
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murder you're famil
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Aug 9, 2016 16:42
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china bot posted:murder you're famil get loving beefy you little pissbitch
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Aug 9, 2016 16:44
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china bot posted:murder you're famil 
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Aug 9, 2016 17:22
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Hopefully the confessor at least posts a Facebook status or something explaining the situation so people understand the motive for the murder suicide. Hopefully he doesn't even do it at all, actually.
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Aug 9, 2016 18:13
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H.H posted:I hope the top confession is the one about the dude writing a 3 page letter. That was my favorite one last time. I thought he said they were together and his roommate moved out and punched him. I just wanna know if he ever told her about that letter. Edit: Maybe a title change to "Anonymous Confessions: Tell us what's up 3 page letter guy! "
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Aug 9, 2016 18:17
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loquacius posted:
i confess that i wanna pet that dog
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Aug 9, 2016 18:27
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loquacius posted:This is probably an academic distinction, but to "beat the poo poo out of" someone is not the same thing as to "smack the poo poo out of" someone. One implies one blow and the other implies a bunch of blows. So he didn't full-on beat his wife into submission, he just kind of snapped and whacked her one with a spatula. Neither one is something that should be accepted, of course. She's in the right to move out after that happened, but she absolutely wasn't in the right to keep their kids away from him or to say that in the first place. It's a hosed-up story and has been since we first heard the premise. you should change your username to "garrulous" because the word "loquacious," while an accurate description of your posts, doesn't quite convey their triviality it doesn't matter how many times the goon hit his wife if it's a non-zero number.
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Aug 9, 2016 18:30
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Lucky Guy posted:i confess that i wanna pet that dog That's me as a child
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Aug 9, 2016 18:35
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it sounds like the wife might have been actually trying to antagonize him into hitting her, knowing it would be enormous in a custody case
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Aug 9, 2016 19:15
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SciFiDownBeat posted:you should change your username to "garrulous" because the word "loquacious," while an accurate description of your posts, doesn't quite convey their triviality It's kind of funny that you tried to restart a finished argument I already said I had no intention of having in the first place to accuse me of quibbling over trivialities, and your main point in the post where you did this was a thing I literally said in the post you quoted but I bet it made you feel better to type it at least
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Aug 9, 2016 19:19
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it did make me feel better, thank you for asking
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Aug 9, 2016 19:21
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Zorodius posted:it sounds like the wife might have been actually trying to antagonize him into hitting her, knowing it would be enormous in a custody case It didn't sound anything like this to me, it just sounded like the wife not wanting him alone around their kids. it didn't sound like she was actively antagonizing hi m - it sounded like they got into an argument and she finally let out bottled up feelings. As did he, I guess.
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Aug 9, 2016 19:23
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Harley Quinn goonette that's going to get murdered by her boyfriend: PM me, I can put you in touch with some resources.
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Aug 9, 2016 22:09
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CodfishCartographer posted:It didn't sound anything like this to me, it just sounded like the wife not wanting him alone around their kids. it didn't sound like she was actively antagonizing hi m - it sounded like they got into an argument and she finally let out bottled up feelings. As did he, I guess. her acting like he was a threat to the kids (presumably without any cause to) is pretty loving outrageous though. He obv. expected her to be understanding and comforting about his shame and instead he gets treated like he's just one unattended hour away from molesting his own kids. I can see how someone would have a strong "gently caress you" reaction to that, esp. coming from a spouse who should be on your side or at least give you the benefit of the doubt
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Aug 9, 2016 22:24
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