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LethalGeek posted:It's not i jacked of 6 times yesterday between witching hour and Jewish midnight
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# ? Aug 14, 2016 07:17 |
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# ? May 21, 2024 19:17 |
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I think you could j/o 30 times if you try your hardest and really believe in yourself
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# ? Aug 14, 2016 07:32 |
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I can understand him being embarrassed to go to the doctor about weenie troubles but if he already went once and "The doctor told me very clearly that I had to stop masturbating so much" why the gently caress wouldn't he go back and get help for his poor horrible bleeding infected donger
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# ? Aug 14, 2016 07:35 |
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Zorodius posted:I think you could j/o 30 times if you try your hardest and really believe in yourself I agree w/ this actually but it's... a feat you do the one time, to test yourself and prove you can, push the limits of human endurance etc that guy said he did it at least 30 times every day
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# ? Aug 14, 2016 07:45 |
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Cause he's stupid and full of poo poo. Of all the maybe fake things that is the fakest of the faked
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# ? Aug 14, 2016 08:17 |
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I mean you wouldnt have anything left at that point, you'd cum and it'd just be a little exasperated puff of air, like the cough of the old man in the far booth at the waffle house
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# ? Aug 14, 2016 08:26 |
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The first confession below is an old one from about two weeks ago that got buried in the spam folder because the confessor used some weird email service that I guess is occasionally used for spam. quote:I forced myself into a diaper fetish and am currently doing the same with scat. It's actually surprisingly easy to consciously develop fetishes for me at least, though I'm into almost everything else so that could have to do with my dick's flexibility rather than kinks being something that can usually be developed. Having a harder time with poop than diapers, though with diapers I was getting into it partially for my boyfriend's sake so maybe that made it easier? quote:For years I fantasized about getting hosed with a strap-on. I felt it would be very liberating to just give up and let someone dominate me. My long term girlfriend isn’t the most open minded person and I knew it wasn’t going to work. One day we got drunk and started talking about what we wanted to do to each other that night. Lots of dirty talk and then I let it slip that I wanted her to peg me.
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# ? Aug 14, 2016 08:32 |
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H.H posted:The first confession below is an old one from about two weeks ago that got buried in the spam folder because the confessor used some weird email service that I guess is occasionally used for spam. There you go Jastiger, one of your ones that was missing earlier.
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# ? Aug 14, 2016 08:56 |
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Pegging goon, if you wanted to be "dominated" that's something you need to ease into. You don't just jump to "I want you to ram my rear end in a top hat with a dildo", you see if she'd be open to any of that kind of stuff at all first. Despite what the goon said earlier in the thread about it being "mainstream" now, the way your girlfriend reacted is probably how a majority of women would.
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# ? Aug 14, 2016 09:06 |
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LethalGeek posted:Cause he's stupid and full of poo poo. Of all the maybe fake things that is the fakest of the faked so a goon being kane or playing a scooby doo villain in the woods is totally believable but you draw the line at "goon masturbated a lot"
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# ? Aug 14, 2016 09:57 |
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Profondo Rosso posted:how is it even possible to jerk off 30 times in one day it isn't.
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# ? Aug 14, 2016 11:19 |
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quote:This is the original hobbyist. I'm honest about what I do because as long as people treat it like something you can't talk about, it will never be safer for either hobbyists or providers. And in the same vein, I don't think a woman who used to be involved in sex work should have to feel like she couldn't be honest to potential partners about her history. quote:I'm a married 30-something man. Ever since puberty I've been obsessed with the idea of being drowned by women. For many reasons this isn't something I want to share with my wife. So a few months ago I worked up the nerve to hire two prostitutes (I didn't think one could do the job) to hold me under in a hotel bath tub. I told them I'd been studying this subject for years and had worked out the timing an everything. They agreed and we went to some skeezy hotel to do the deed.
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# ? Aug 14, 2016 13:00 |
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getting your car washed isn't a hobby and neither is regularly seeing hookers
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# ? Aug 14, 2016 13:21 |
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Precisely: thats why they're identical.
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# ? Aug 14, 2016 13:24 |
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quote:I'd be going off my parents' insurance plan and have to get a new scrip for my I Am A Sad Idiot pills. of all the things to worry about when moving across the country Hahahahahahahaha How The gently caress Is This Confession Real Hahahaha Nigga Just Walk To The Doctors Office Like Nigga Go To The Pharmacy Haha
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# ? Aug 14, 2016 13:37 |
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There you go Jastiger, one of your ones that was missing earlier. [/quote] Nope. He still hasnt posted mine.
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# ? Aug 14, 2016 15:30 |
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Putty posted:im hearing a lot that people actually liked Suicide Squad but what about that new ghost busters??
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# ? Aug 14, 2016 17:09 |
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quote:When I was in high school, my modern history teacher started sleeping with me. She wasn’t very attractive but when I was 16, I was so horny that I almost contemplated loving a microwaved melon so no way was I going to turn down sex. I had sex with her countless times until I graduated high school where I never heard from her again. Nobody ever found out and I never contemplated telling anyone. quote:Reading the "invited to a gangbang" thread this morning got me super horny but I had just finished reading it before work so it was on my mind all day, I felt hot all day long and couldn't stop thinking about how it would feel with all those guys taking turns.. when I got home from work just stripped off and went to town on myself and came (loudly) in like a minute flat.
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# ? Aug 14, 2016 18:07 |
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Guy who imagines socks on the dongs of negro backup singers, put a sock on yours and sing along, you know you want to.
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# ? Aug 14, 2016 18:09 |
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i want to hear mroe confessions about makeshit sex toys and what microwaved objects goones tried to copulate with
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# ? Aug 14, 2016 19:18 |
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This one time I stick my peanus in a (non microwaved) live human body
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# ? Aug 14, 2016 19:34 |
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sinking belle posted:This one time I stick my peanus in a (non microwaved) live human body Fake as poo poo, take a high school composition class and try again
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# ? Aug 14, 2016 19:58 |
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H.H posted:I wanna be that girl and get banged by 30 goons but I never will Untrue. If these threads have taught us nothing else, it's that goons will gently caress literally anyone/anything. quote:I'm an ugly tranny True. quote:anything like that would end in me getting a dozen and one STIs True. quote:This makes me sad. Untrue.
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# ? Aug 14, 2016 22:34 |
i'm the guy who refers to loving whores as a "hobby" and also i can't use my arms so good anymore cause i strained all the muscles in my torso from patting my own back so frantically, on account of how i once told a woman i gently caress whores, and then that lying bitch broke up with me instead of understanding that i'm actually a crusader for the dignity and respect whores deserve. i also post about this anonymously on www dot something awful dot com. i'm basically like a white mlk jr for whores and i don't know why no one else sees that
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# ? Aug 14, 2016 22:50 |
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bald gnome error posted:i'm the guy who refers to loving whores as a "hobby" and also i can't use my arms so good anymore cause i strained all the muscles in my torso from patting my own back so frantically, on account of how i once told a woman i gently caress whores, and then that lying bitch broke up with me instead of understanding that i'm actually a crusader for the dignity and respect whores deserve. i also post about this anonymously on www dot something awful dot com. i'm basically like a white mlk jr for whores and i don't know why no one else sees that It is nice to finally meet you (the future legend) in e-person! Tell me, what is your favorite flavor of whore? Mine is sparkle cowgirl
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# ? Aug 14, 2016 23:12 |
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Drowning fetishist is fake because there's no way the prostitutes would have fled without at least emptying his wallet.
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# ? Aug 14, 2016 23:16 |
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Attention teacher fucker, you have nothing to gain from pursuing this. Your wife is pissed. The kid presumably believes the husband is his dad. If it turns out you're the father you will only further annoy your wife and possibly wreck the teacher's family. Who cares if the woman who slept with a teenager is wracked with guilt, let her deal with it and stay well away from that horror show.
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# ? Aug 14, 2016 23:20 |
Dinosaurmageddon posted:It is nice to finally meet you (the future legend) in e-person! Tell me, what is your favorite flavor of whore? uh well gosh, as a category i'm a real fan of the whores who never ever remind me that my "hobby" is their "livelihood" but on the other hand Stacey makes me feel so special after i spend 3 minutes rubbing my half-on against her titties and spurt weakly and then spend the rest of my hour crying with my cheek in a puddle of my own jizz. she's a single mom and she wants to be an accountant and i just... idk, man, i wish we'd met at a different point in our lives, you know? or at least that society didn't, like, cast all this stigma on us. i guess we're just ahead of our time yeah those two answers seem kind of opposed, but what can i say, i'm just a real complex guy
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# ? Aug 14, 2016 23:26 |
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sex is hard work
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# ? Aug 14, 2016 23:55 |
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i shoukd know im Kane irl
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# ? Aug 14, 2016 23:56 |
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cock hero flux posted:so a goon being kane or playing a scooby doo villain in the woods is totally believable but you draw the line at "goon masturbated a lot" Those were actually entertaining, hth
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# ? Aug 15, 2016 00:16 |
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cock hero flux posted:so a goon being kane or playing a scooby doo villain in the woods is totally believable but you draw the line at "goon masturbated a lot" it's possible a goon is kane. it's not possible for a guy to jerk off 30 times a day every day unless he has no refractory period. learn some science you small son.
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# ? Aug 15, 2016 00:23 |
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quote:She wants me to pretend this never happened and to drop the matter. Personally I want to know and feel I have a right to know. So I’m scheduling an appointment with a lawyer next week. I’m not going to ignore a potential child of mine just because my wife is mad. I hope that the child isn’t mine and have no idea what I will do next if the child does turn out to be mine. you're a huge idiot. You're trying to break up two marriages for no reason. Are there any other dumb things you "feel you have a right" to? Don't do any of those things either
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# ? Aug 15, 2016 01:38 |
Groovelord Neato posted:it's possible a goon is kane. it's not possible for a guy to jerk off 30 times a day every day unless he has no refractory period. learn some science you small son. All he'd have to do is nut once every 48 minutes, on average, for 24 hours straight. With good time management it can be done imo.
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# ? Aug 15, 2016 06:00 |
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quote:There was this asian girl I had a thing for since middle school but was always "friend zoned". We went to college together and one night ended up at the same party (not going to lie, I went primarily to cockblock any guy who made a move on her and get the drunk sex for myself). Anyway the party winds down and we all sleep in the living room. I wake up and notice my friend looks a little strange/pale. I try to wake her up, notice she doesn't have a pulse and dial 911. quote:I don't understand why people want children.
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# ? Aug 15, 2016 06:11 |
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please do not abuse the unconscious
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# ? Aug 15, 2016 06:21 |
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he might have saved that girls life though think what if she had the initial stages of boob cancer too e: just noticed the word corpse Putty fucked around with this message at 18:07 on Aug 15, 2016 |
# ? Aug 15, 2016 06:22 |
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Abused goon I was never in your position for that but I never wanted to reproduce ever because I don't see the appeal I children either. It happens but modern times allow us to acknowledge it instead of having to do it. So it's fine and frankly everyone fucks up their kids as I remind the parents around me constantly.
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# ? Aug 15, 2016 08:35 |
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Dear corpse goon, I'd have punched you in the face. Also how the gently caress did that even happen, like, I've been to some middle school parties but nobody ever loving died, some people got hosed up but like, if there was a corpse there would be no window of opportunity to grope it ever...
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# ? Aug 15, 2016 11:37 |
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# ? May 21, 2024 19:17 |
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abortion goon: have you considered that maybe being diddled altered your worldview lmao have you also considered that maybe the desire to raise children is so innate and ingrained into normal people that its allowed western society to exist past the 60's
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# ? Aug 15, 2016 11:50 |