LethalGeek posted:

It's not

piss is funny more piss stories

Sorry cps goon I wish more people had abortions too, for real

Zorodius posted:

I think you could j/o 30 times if you try your hardest and really believe in yourself

quote:

I forced myself into a diaper fetish and am currently doing the same with scat. It's actually surprisingly easy to consciously develop fetishes for me at least, though I'm into almost everything else so that could have to do with my dick's flexibility rather than kinks being something that can usually be developed. Having a harder time with poop than diapers, though with diapers I was getting into it partially for my boyfriend's sake so maybe that made it easier?

quote:

For years I fantasized about getting hosed with a strap-on. I felt it would be very liberating to just give up and let someone dominate me. My long term girlfriend isn’t the most open minded person and I knew it wasn’t going to work. One day we got drunk and started talking about what we wanted to do to each other that night. Lots of dirty talk and then I let it slip that I wanted her to peg me.

Her reaction turned to disgust and she decided then and there to get an Uber and go home to her parents place about 15 miles away (my girlfriend lives with me now). The next day I got a bunch of texts from her. To sum it up, she said I was gay and that she wanted to get married and have children and me being gay was obviously a large spoiler for that. I told her I was straight but she wouldn’t listen.

She proceeded to tell anyone and everyone who would listen. Now I’ve turned into a social pariah and none of my friends will talk to me anymore. I’ve now had to start hanging out at different bars and try to get another social group going. This sucks and all because I asked to be pegged.

This isn’t some right wing state either; this is a deep blue city in a blue state. These people frequently talk about LGBT rights as well. It's been shocking and disappointing to say the least.

H.H posted:

The first confession below is an old one from about two weeks ago that got buried in the spam folder because the confessor used some weird email service that I guess is occasionally used for spam.

quote:

poop

LethalGeek posted:

Cause he's stupid and full of poo poo. Of all the maybe fake things that is the fakest of the faked

Profondo Rosso posted:

how is it even possible to jerk off 30 times in one day

quote:

This is the original hobbyist. I'm honest about what I do because as long as people treat it like something you can't talk about, it will never be safer for either hobbyists or providers. And in the same vein, I don't think a woman who used to be involved in sex work should have to feel like she couldn't be honest to potential partners about her history.

A lot of people make many judgements about the sex industry because they know very little about it. And hiding what a person does continues the implication that what they are doing is 'bad' according to society. Nobody feels ashamed of getting a massage, or a brushless car wash. Sex should be no different.

quote:

I'm a married 30-something man. Ever since puberty I've been obsessed with the idea of being drowned by women. For many reasons this isn't something I want to share with my wife. So a few months ago I worked up the nerve to hire two prostitutes (I didn't think one could do the job) to hold me under in a hotel bath tub. I told them I'd been studying this subject for years and had worked out the timing an everything. They agreed and we went to some skeezy hotel to do the deed.

Only it got all hosed up and I passed out. I came to with some greasy hotel clerk kneeling over me. The girls had freaked out and fled. I puked a bit and then gave him the money I was going to give the girls to not call anybody.

While I was out I had a vision of floating through clouds while a booming voice told me to confess everything. gently caress that poo poo. I aint telling nobody.

quote:

I'd be going off my parents' insurance plan and have to get a new scrip for my I Am A Sad Idiot pills. 

Hedrigall posted:

Putty posted:

im hearing a lot that people actually liked Suicide Squad

quote:

When I was in high school, my modern history teacher started sleeping with me. She wasn’t very attractive but when I was 16, I was so horny that I almost contemplated loving a microwaved melon so no way was I going to turn down sex. I had sex with her countless times until I graduated high school where I never heard from her again. Nobody ever found out and I never contemplated telling anyone.

A few days ago I got a direct message from a seemingly random woman. Turns out it was my former teacher. She said that she is wracked with guilt that her 13 year old son may not be her husband’s child but mine instead. She said that her husband was often gone on business trips and couldn’t figure out the timing. I often had sex with the teacher without a condom so it’s possible. I do remember the teacher being pregnant towards the end of my senior year but there was never discussion then about who was the father. I just didn’t think about it or care at the time.

I told this to my wife and she is furious at me about it. She wants me to pretend this never happened and to drop the matter. Personally I want to know and feel I have a right to know. So I’m scheduling an appointment with a lawyer next week. I’m not going to ignore a potential child of mine just because my wife is mad. I hope that the child isn’t mine and have no idea what I will do next if the child does turn out to be mine.

quote:

Reading the "invited to a gangbang" thread this morning got me super horny but I had just finished reading it before work so it was on my mind all day, I felt hot all day long and couldn't stop thinking about how it would feel with all those guys taking turns.. when I got home from work just stripped off and went to town on myself and came (loudly) in like a minute flat.

I wanna be that girl and get banged by 30 goons but I never will because I'm an ugly tranny and know anything like that would end in me getting a dozen and one STIs. This makes me sad.

sinking belle posted:

This one time I stick my peanus in a (non microwaved) live human body

H.H posted:

I wanna be that girl and get banged by 30 goons but I never will

quote:

I'm an ugly tranny

quote:

anything like that would end in me getting a dozen and one STIs

quote:

This makes me sad.

bald gnome error posted:

i'm the guy who refers to loving whores as a "hobby" and also i can't use my arms so good anymore cause i strained all the muscles in my torso from patting my own back so frantically, on account of how i once told a woman i gently caress whores, and then that lying bitch broke up with me instead of understanding that i'm actually a crusader for the dignity and respect whores deserve. i also post about this anonymously on www dot something awful dot com. i'm basically like a white mlk jr for whores and i don't know why no one else sees that

H.H posted:

Dinosaurmageddon posted:

It is nice to finally meet you (the future legend) in e-person! Tell me, what is your favorite flavor of whore?

Mine is sparkle cowgirl

cock hero flux posted:

so a goon being kane or playing a scooby doo villain in the woods is totally believable but you draw the line at "goon masturbated a lot"

cock hero flux posted:

so a goon being kane or playing a scooby doo villain in the woods is totally believable but you draw the line at "goon masturbated a lot"

quote:

She wants me to pretend this never happened and to drop the matter. Personally I want to know and feel I have a right to know. So I’m scheduling an appointment with a lawyer next week. I’m not going to ignore a potential child of mine just because my wife is mad. I hope that the child isn’t mine and have no idea what I will do next if the child does turn out to be mine.

Groovelord Neato posted:

it's possible a goon is kane. it's not possible for a guy to jerk off 30 times a day every day unless he has no refractory period. learn some science you small son.

quote:

There was this asian girl I had a thing for since middle school but was always "friend zoned". We went to college together and one night ended up at the same party (not going to lie, I went primarily to cockblock any guy who made a move on her and get the drunk sex for myself). Anyway the party winds down and we all sleep in the living room. I wake up and notice my friend looks a little strange/pale. I try to wake her up, notice she doesn't have a pulse and dial 911.

The confession is that while I waited for them to get there, I groped the hell out of her tits. Someone else woke up and asked me what the gently caress I was doing, I claimed I had been trying to give her CPR and the ambulance and cops are on the way. So everyone starts freaking out, half the party is pissed about the cops coming (we were almost all underage), the other half is making jokes about me feeling up a corpse. They still make jokes about it years later, and told the girl's family who in turn told mine etc. I've always stuck to my terrible CPR story that nobody believes because why would my hands have to be under her shirt to give CPR, but they all know what's up. And if it wasn't obvious yet, I was/am still a virgin.

quote:

I don't understand why people want children.

I don't want children and, luckily, my husband says he doesn't want kids either, but I'm afraid he'll change his mind some day. I doubt we'll ever be financially stable enough for that, and we both have some health issues that we don't want to pass on, anyway.

I was pregnant with him early on, once, and had an abortion because I could. It was overwhelmingly mutual, even his parents helped us pay for it, and I'm grateful for that. I'd like tubal ligation but I'm probably 'too young' for it. My husband says he's okay with a vasectomy at some point but I don't want to make him deal with that...

Not to say I hate kids, because I believe they deserve loving, caring homes and good parents. As a victim of incestuous abuse and physical abuse, I wouldn't wish that on anyone. CPS confession goon made me really sad. Sometimes I feel like the people who claim to love children most (teachers, coaches, ~loving parents~, etc) end up being the ones who abuse them. It's hosed up.

But I hate being around kids and I don't 'get' that desire to have children?? My relationship with my parents is okay but they never wanted me or my younger sibling. My parents always fought about that poo poo when I was growing up. It feels like people's relationships fall apart when they have kids. I can't imagine ever willingly getting into that.

My abuser said to me at some point that he wished he had gotten me pregnant when I was 15, and that still skeeves me out so much.

I just don't get that drive that a lot of women/adults in general seem to have for getting pregnant and having kids. I know a lot of women my age who are single mothers and they're struggling so much but they didn't want to have an abortion for whatever reasons. I'm pro-choice but I don't understand why people force themselves (or why others think it's okay to influence/pressure them so much) to have kids when they can't afford it.

I've never once felt like my life would be better if I had a tiny screaming version of me + my husband hanging around. Is it mostly societal pressure?? Do people legitimately want and enjoy having children?? idgi

I do love sex and I love not having to use condoms because I'm on really good birth control, the arm implant kind, it's great, it's amazing! What a time to be alive. I wish these super effective contraceptives were easier to access, and cheaper. I wish abortion wasn't so stigmatized.