Military History Mk. III: One that I know of is an archaic word for dick, another is

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Hogge Wild: Aug 21, 2012; by FactsAreUseless; Pillbug

Admiral Snackbar posted:

What's this?!

I come back to SA after an absence of only several years to find that there's not just one, but TWO follow up threads to the original from 2010 - I'm so happy to see this thriving!

I have no hope of catching up on everything that's happened since I was here last, so I'll just pick up at the start of this iteration and try to keep up.

I just want to say that it does me good to see so many people involved in the discussion!

Welcome back, Admiral! And thanks for kicking this thing off in the first place.

Hogge Wild fucked around with this message at 04:58 on Aug 17, 2016

# ? Aug 17, 2016 04:56

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# ? May 9, 2024 22:30

Arquinsiel: Jun 1, 2006; "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady

Delivery McGee posted:

*--It's okay to be ironically racist against the Irish now, as long as you're not English, innit? The would-be Baron Blaney says it's okay. (Long story, but my boyfriend is the heir to an Irish castle the English burned down. Actually that's the whole story, it was shorter than I thought.)

There are rules for it. It's a complex situation. Like if the dude is a would-be Baron then there's a strong chance it'd be the same as being English on the scale of "great craic" to "kicked to death outside Copper's".

# ? Aug 17, 2016 05:22

Grand Prize Winner: Feb 19, 2007

Is it okay if you're an American of vaguely-Irish descent among other Americans of vaguely-Irish descent? "My grandmother was from Logh Alan so that's why I'm a drunk," kinda thing.

# ? Aug 17, 2016 05:46

thatbastardken: Apr 23, 2010; A contract signed by a minor is not binding!

no

just shut your mouth and fund the IRA

# ? Aug 17, 2016 05:50

Arquinsiel: Jun 1, 2006; "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady

Grand Prize Winner posted:

Is it okay if you're an American of vaguely-Irish descent among other Americans of vaguely-Irish descent? "My grandmother was from Logh Alan so that's why I'm a drunk," kinda thing.

Due to the complexities of the rules this is actually worse than being Prince Phillip.

# ? Aug 17, 2016 05:53

thatbastardken: Apr 23, 2010; A contract signed by a minor is not binding!

yeah prince phillip is greek, so who gives a poo poo about him

# ? Aug 17, 2016 05:54

SeanBeansShako: Nov 20, 2009; Now the Drums beat up again,
For all true Soldier Gentlemen.

Don't be a rascist jerk about anyone who lives on the British Isles.

K thnx.

# ? Aug 17, 2016 06:05

Arquinsiel: Jun 1, 2006; "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady

All those people he regularly insults? Dude is a legendary troll TBH :allears:

# ? Aug 17, 2016 06:04

Endman: May 18, 2010; That is not dead which can eternal lie, And with strange aeons even anime may die

SeanBeansShako posted:

Don't be a rascist jerk about anyone who lives on the British Isles.

K thnx.

The English are garbage.

# ? Aug 17, 2016 06:16

Mycroft Holmes: Mar 26, 2010; by Azathoth

Endman posted:

The English are garbage.

agreed

# ? Aug 17, 2016 06:56

Grand Prize Winner: Feb 19, 2007

thatbastardken posted:

no

just shut your mouth and fund the IRA

my grandma gave somewhere around 20 grand over the course of her life (no joke), thanks Monsignor Barry. We could have used that money for more good booze at her wake!

No joke, the monsignor had connections and regularly collected support money for the cause from old Irish folks in our diocese.

# ? Aug 17, 2016 07:42

Tias: May 25, 2008; Pictured: the patron saint of internet political arguments (probably)

This avatar made possible by a gift from the Religionthread Posters Relief Fund

V. Illych L. posted:

couldn't it also work as a terror weapon

i mean WP is seriously nasty, chemically speaking

It IS a terror weapon, particularly when you spam closely packed civilian ghettos in Palestine with it :eng99:

E: f,b

xthetenth posted:

Wallenstein would either end up with a C level job somewhere or totally blacklisted from his industry. Possibly both.

Or rule the loving world. Let's face it, he's got the spergs to pull it off.

SeanBeansShako posted:

Don't be a rascist jerk about anyone who lives on the British Isles.

K thnx.

Yeah, they pull that off fine themselves :iamafag:

# ? Aug 17, 2016 08:09

Libluini: May 18, 2012; I gravitated towards the Greens, eventually even joining the party itself.

The Linke is a party I grudgingly accept exists, but I've learned enough about DDR-history I can't bring myself to trust a party that was once the SED, a party leading the corrupt state apparatus ...; Grimey Drawer

Endman posted:

The English are garbage.

Technically, they're Island Apes.

("Inselaffen" is a German slur for Englishmen. :v:

)

# ? Aug 17, 2016 08:54

HEY GUNS: Oct 11, 2012; FOPTIMUS PRIME

Tias posted:

Or rule the loving world. Let's face it, he's got the spergs to pull it off.

every biography of him i've read uses the phrase "ruthlessly ambitious" at some point and i'm all, who that i'm familiar with isn't?

at some point i need to talk about young hauptmann wallenstein and his first war experience, which is insane, or colonel wallenstein and what he did when the 30yw broke out (hint: :ese:

)

HEY GUNS fucked around with this message at 09:46 on Aug 17, 2016

# ? Aug 17, 2016 08:58

HEY GUNS: Oct 11, 2012; FOPTIMUS PRIME

ArchangeI posted:

At least in Early Modernity, the health of the monarch is considered to be representative of the health of the realm, so a monarch not being completely healthy is BIG loving DEAL HOLY poo poo YOU GUYS. ...

this is why i know that christina of sweden, despite her masculine mind and spirit, had periods

Nebakenezzer posted:

I HAVE THOUGHTS

Nixon was a strange dude. He had some pretty significant mental health problems while in office; like I think he thought more often than not that political opposition to his plans was not driven by, y'know, what people thought of his plans, but rather because they hated him, personally. For no reason other than he was Richard Nixon. I think he was actually a genius on one or two axies; namely his understanding of politics and international relations, but he seemed to only really understand the dark side of people. Without an understanding of the good side of people, he navigated the two aforementioned fields pretty well, but without the balance that comes from understanding the good side of people, he'd make decisions that would ultimately cause him to, er, resign in disgrace. He also was pathological about presenting an image to other people. Because he was paranoid and unable to really like himself, he put a lot of energy into keeping up a front of what he thought people wanted to see. This went both for his public image, and even managing immediate subordinates with talk he didn't really believe in. The result was that he was manipulative with pretty much everybody.

poo poo what was my point

that dude fascinates me

edit: also what drugs was he on

HEY GUNS fucked around with this message at 09:23 on Aug 17, 2016

# ? Aug 17, 2016 09:18

Tias: May 25, 2008; Pictured: the patron saint of internet political arguments (probably)

This avatar made possible by a gift from the Religionthread Posters Relief Fund

HEY GAL posted:

every biography of him i've read uses the phrase "ruthlessly ambitious" at some point and i'm all, who that i'm familiar with isn't?

at some point i need to talk about young hauptmann wallenstein and his first war experience, which is insane, or colonel wallenstein and what he did when the 30yw broke out (hint: )

you git. Sooner rather than later!

# ? Aug 17, 2016 10:14

Nothingtoseehere: Nov 11, 2010

Grand Prize Winner posted:

my grandma gave somewhere around 20 grand over the course of her life (no joke), thanks Monsignor Barry. We could have used that money for more good booze at her wake!

No joke, the monsignor had connections and regularly collected support money for the cause from old Irish folks in our diocese.

Terrorist fundraising was alot easier before brown people were involved, it seems.

# ? Aug 17, 2016 10:21

Rodrigo Diaz: Apr 16, 2007; Knights who are at the wars eat their bread in sorrow;
their ease is weariness and sweat;
they have one good day after many bad

nothing to seehere posted:

Terrorist fundraising was alot easier before brown people were involved, it seems.

No, it's still really easy

# ? Aug 17, 2016 10:25

HEY GUNS: Oct 11, 2012; FOPTIMUS PRIME

when will someone talk about the religious radicalization in the white community

# ? Aug 17, 2016 10:27

Endman: May 18, 2010; That is not dead which can eternal lie, And with strange aeons even anime may die

HEY GAL posted:

when will someone talk about the religious radicalization in the white community

And just like that we're back to the 30 Years War.

# ? Aug 17, 2016 11:09

Fangz: Jul 5, 2007; Oh I see! This must be the Bad Opinion Zone!

Re: the earlier star fort conversation, are there documented cases of troops from bypassed strongholds raising havoc behind lines?

# ? Aug 17, 2016 11:31

spectralent: Oct 1, 2014; Me and the boys poppin' down to the shops

Star fort bypass chat was really interesting, because I admit I used to think "Why didn't they just bypass those things more often?", but I guess a requirement that your static defences stretch for miles of front happened relatively recently.

I was going to ask "Why not just surround it" but I guess that's just called a siege.

# ? Aug 17, 2016 12:15

xthetenth: Dec 30, 2012; Mario wasn't sure if this Jeb guy was a good influence on Yoshi.

Arquinsiel posted:

There are rules for it. It's a complex situation. Like if the dude is a would-be Baron then there's a strong chance it'd be the same as being English on the scale of "great craic" to "kicked to death outside Copper's".

I've found the best practice is mocking the prejudice, not the people. There's plenty of material too.

# ? Aug 17, 2016 13:23

HEY GUNS: Oct 11, 2012; FOPTIMUS PRIME

Yvonmukluk posted:

Iunno, seems like they could likely have fit in anywhere where 'have gun/sword/pike (delete as appropriate), will travel' is a valid job description. Probably including Blackwater or whatever they're calling themselves now.

http://www.salon.com/2016/08/16/bro...heneys-america/

quote:

A pair of South Florida Jewish buddies in their mid-20s with no particular qualifications stumbled upon an open secret around the year 2005: The United States military would buy arms from anybody � as in literally anybody. Packouz and Diveroli made millions by bidding on various small-scale contracts that big defense firms didn�t notice or want and then filled them by buying outdated weapons equipment from Asia or Eastern Europe on the internet and shipping it to U.S. forces in the Middle East. Most of their transactions were not technically illegal, but their process definitely wasn�t ethical or efficient. It was a stupid method for supplying a stupid war.

if some of the higher level dudes i study didn't end up doing this, i will be shocked

HEY GUNS fucked around with this message at 16:18 on Aug 17, 2016

# ? Aug 17, 2016 15:26

MikeCrotch: Nov 5, 2011; I AM UNJUSTIFIABLY PROUD OF MY SPAGHETTI BOLOGNESE RECIPE

YES, IT IS AN INCREDIBLY SIMPLE DISH

NO, IT IS NOT NORMAL TO USE A PEPPERAMI INSTEAD OF MINCED MEAT

YES, THERE IS TOO MUCH SALT IN MY RECIPE

NO, I WON'T STOP SHARING IT

more like BOLLOCKnese

HEY GAL posted:

http://www.salon.com/2016/08/16/bro...heneys-america/

if some of the higher level dudes i study didn't end up doing this, i will be shocked

I'm imagining Wallenstein walking up to these guys out of nowhere and rearranging all their plans. "You think this is war profiteering? This is war profiteering."

# ? Aug 17, 2016 16:05

HEY GUNS: Oct 11, 2012; FOPTIMUS PRIME

MikeCrotch posted:

"You think this is war profiteering? This is war profiteering."

that is the ~~subtext~~ text of some of the decorations of his palace in prague, yes

# ? Aug 17, 2016 16:11

Cyrano4747: Sep 25, 2006; Yes, I know I'm old, get off my fucking lawn so I can yell at these clouds.

HEY GAL posted:

http://www.salon.com/2016/08/16/bro...heneys-america/

if some of the higher level dudes i study didn't end up doing this, i will be shocked

You know you've made it as an arms dealer when Jonah hill plays you in the movie

# ? Aug 17, 2016 16:43

Deptfordx: Dec 23, 2013

Delivery McGee posted:

Edit: Speaking of the CIB, I've noticed that Nick Moran wears something similar but yellow instead of blue on his polo shirt -- I assume it's the Cavalry version of the "seen the elephant" badge, since he had his head outside at 73 Easting? (Working for 1CAV at the time, despite his racial handicap.*)

Also all you tank fans should watch Nick Moran's youtubs. He's the NA technical advisor/social media guy for World of Tanks. Applied for an IT job and got hired for his current position because actual tank commander.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=user?TheChieftainWoT

*--It's okay to be ironically racist against the Irish now, as long as you're not English, innit? The would-be Baron Blaney says it's okay. (Long story, but my boyfriend is the heir to an Irish castle the English burned down. Actually that's the whole story, it was shorter than I thought.)

The most recent one was a 3 part look of him clambering around inside a Panther which was really good.

It was interesting to see what a (ex)professional tank man thought of it.

He really wasn't impressed by those ergonomics.

# ? Aug 17, 2016 16:54

Arquinsiel: Jun 1, 2006; "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady

xthetenth posted:

I've found the best practice is mocking the prejudice, not the people. There's plenty of material too.

There's a certain value in going for broke and surviving via shock value.

# ? Aug 17, 2016 17:00

xthetenth: Dec 30, 2012; Mario wasn't sure if this Jeb guy was a good influence on Yoshi.

Arquinsiel posted:

There's a certain value in going for broke and surviving via shock value.

Or surviving because you deserted before the war started as the case may be :v:

.

(The San Patricios were rad)

# ? Aug 17, 2016 17:20

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

Deptfordx posted:

The most recent one was a 3 part look of him clambering around inside a Panther which was really good.

It was interesting to see what a (ex)professional tank man thought of it.

He really wasn't impressed by those ergonomics.

I love the front fenders.

"Herr Schlitz, why do we not use the same fasteners all the way around so we only need to produce one?"

"That is not the German way, Karl".

# ? Aug 17, 2016 17:31

HEY GUNS: Oct 11, 2012; FOPTIMUS PRIME

Tias posted:

you git. Sooner rather than later!

Hauptmann Wallenstein And The Long Turkish War

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Long_Turkish_War

One biography says Wallenstein started as a squad leader and became a fendrich later, one says he started as a fendrich. Whatever the case, he was 21 in 1604, utterly unknown, some random dude from a mid-level noble family whose parents are both dead. But (as it turns out later) he's thinking hard about how to move armies really fast, which is what his enemies do. He's also very brave, other people say this a lot.

His commander is this guy, who later wrote a bunch of books that Wallenstein's going to read when they come out. One of his fellow soldiers is a 45-year old general named Johann T'serclaes, count of Tilly; he's the commander of all the imperial artillery. They don't know each other. Wallenstein's colonel is Heinrich Matthias von Thurn, who'll be one of his enemies later.

The expedition he's on doesn't go super great. They're trying to besiege Gran
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Esztergom
but they get there on the 18th of September, which is almost too late to do anything at all before the winter starts. The fighting stops on the 8th October; in the meantime, Wallenstein distinguishes himself through conspicuous bravery and gets promoted to Hauptmann. In a fight before Kaschau he gets wounded in the hand.

The army overwinters near the Slovakian Eperjes (not the Hungarian one). It goes poorly. The march from Kaschau to Eperjes is hard, they have no food, they have no money, and the place is so sparsely populated that they can barely even plunder. Wallenstein's hand would won't heal.

Finally, Basta calls all the officers together. He decides to have the troops elect representatives, one from every regiment, which will go to Prague and ask for pay. The Bohemian infantry chooses Wallenstein, who accepts despite his wound. Their group is 20 people, and the route they take goes through Over-Hungary and over this mountain range. Every one of them makes it.

But when they get to Prague, every request they make fails. There is no money for the troops, whether or not the hungarians are heading toward moravia. Shortly thereafter, Wallenstein gets "Hungarian sickness," which either means typhus or syphilis. I'm inclined to think it was typhus because it nearly killed him, and the first symptoms of early syphilis are practically nothing. Then he gets plague. He doesn't die from either of these things.

When he recovers from those and his hand wound, he discovers that the Bohemian Staende have decided to dismiss the army. They appoint him Abdankungskommissarius, "commissioner in charge of dismissal;" that spring, he goes back to Hungary and carries this out. And that was his first war experience.

# ? Aug 17, 2016 18:47

hogmartin: Mar 27, 2007

HEY GAL posted:

Finally, Basta calls all the officers together. He decides to have the troops elect representatives, one from every regiment, which will go to Prague and ask for pay.

Funny that the guy who tells everyone "gently caress this, go get something done" has a name that means "enough" in two Romance languages that come to mind.

Unless this part is a joke that I don't get.

# ? Aug 17, 2016 19:04

HEY GUNS: Oct 11, 2012; FOPTIMUS PRIME

hogmartin posted:

Funny that the guy who tells everyone "gently caress this, go get something done" has a name that means "enough" in two Romance languages that come to mind.

Unless this part is a joke that I don't get.

no, that was really his name

# ? Aug 17, 2016 19:05

hogmartin: Mar 27, 2007

HEY GAL posted:

no, that was really his name

Hah, nice. Like a General Does Anyone Want To Take Some Initiative or a Colonel Do I Have To Do Everything Myself Around Here.

Is this him? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giorgio_Basta

hogmartin fucked around with this message at 19:16 on Aug 17, 2016

# ? Aug 17, 2016 19:13

HEY GUNS: Oct 11, 2012; FOPTIMUS PRIME

hogmartin posted:

Hah, nice. Like a General Does Anyone Want To Take Some Initiative or a Colonel Do I Have To Do Everything Myself Around Here.

Is this him? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giorgio_Basta

the very same
nice beard, books, reputation for brutality, and all

# ? Aug 17, 2016 19:16

my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

HEY GAL posted:

the very same
nice beard, books, reputation for brutality, and all

Also, notorious backstabber and zealot. During the war with the Ottomans, he betrayed allied Serbian and Wallachian forces under a flimsy excuse and had their commanders assassinated or captured and executed in a creative fashion (Starina Novak was roasted alive for over an hour, for example) followed by persecuting the non-Catholic Christian population in his former allies' lands.

# ? Aug 17, 2016 19:25

HEY GUNS: Oct 11, 2012; FOPTIMUS PRIME

the 16th and 17th centuries were cool, and also good

# ? Aug 17, 2016 19:29

hogmartin: Mar 27, 2007

HEY GAL posted:

the 16th and 17th centuries were cool, and also good

* cool may vary depending on if you're being roasted alive, all sales final, no refunds.

# ? Aug 17, 2016 19:35

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# ? May 9, 2024 22:30

Fangz: Jul 5, 2007; Oh I see! This must be the Bad Opinion Zone!

So, um, the square bullet version of the Puckle gun might actually work and be reasonably accurate!

https://youtu.be/wFhqyvCTA1I

# ? Aug 17, 2016 19:52

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Military History Mk. III: One that I know of is an archaic word for dick, another is

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