PYF: Funny Forum Quotes: Agent (7)47

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Hirayuki: Mar 28, 2010

Dumbfire Rocketman posted:

shitPosting COnstantly Syndrome (say "sh-iht-POE-sst-ING KAHN-stant-LEE SIN-drohm") is a problem in which a poster's shitpost levels are out of balance. It can cause problems with your posts and make it difficult for anyone to like you. PCOS also may cause unwanted changes in the way you look. If it isn't treated, over time it can lead to serious health problems, such as probation and banning.

Most posters with PCOS grow many small shiposts in their chemically imbalanced brains that are impossible to hold in. That is why it is called shitPosting COnstantly Syndrome. The shitposts are not harmful to the poster but lead to thread imbalances.

Early diagnosis and treatment can help control the symptoms and prevent long-term problems.

Posts are social messengers that trigger many different processes, including comedy and content production. Often, the job of one post is to signal the release of another post.

For reasons that are not well understood, in PCOS the shitposts get out of balance. One shitpost triggers another, which triggers another. For example:

The thread gets out of balance. Normally, the forums make a tiny amount of shitposts (FYAD). In PCOS, they start making slightly more shitposts. This may cause you to stop making any good posts, get mad at people on the internet, and grow extra terrible opinions.
The body may have a problem using good posts, called being a loving idiot. When the body doesn't use good posts well, shitpost levels go up. Over time, this increases your chance of getting banned.
The cause of PCOS is not fully understood, but genetics may be a factor. PCOS seems to run in families, so your chance of having it is higher if other posters in your family have it or have irregular posts or are banned. PCOS can be passed down from either your mother's or father's side.

Symptoms tend to be mild at first. You may have only a few symptoms or a lot of them. The most common symptoms are:

Red titles.
Weight gain and trouble losing weight.
Being quoted and called an idiot. Often shitposters get thicker and darker posts, deliberately taking up horrible opinions to be contrary.
Thinning hair on the scalp.
Irregular posts. Often posters with PCOS have fewer than nine decent posts a year. Some posters have none at all. Others have very heavy bleeding.
Sexual problems. Many posters who have PCOS have trouble getting laid (virginity).
Depression.

# ? Aug 19, 2016 00:23

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# ? May 10, 2024 07:40

funmanguy: Apr 20, 2006; What time is it?

The worst is no insurance provider covers it. So if you even try to seek treatment you end up with a massive PCOS Bill.

# ? Aug 19, 2016 03:11

TheRecogScene: Aug 22, 2010; I'm gonna miss you when you're gone.

Does anyone actually know the origins of PCOS Bill's name? Surely he isn't named for Poly-cystic Ovarian Syndrome?

# ? Aug 19, 2016 03:33

oldpainless: Oct 30, 2009; This 📆 post brought to you by RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS👥.
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Pecos Bill
PCOS
PCOS Bill

They sound similar you see

# ? Aug 19, 2016 03:36

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

Choco1980 posted:

I have a degree in film myself, and amateur film review/criticism is something I've done off and on for a very long time. SMG's breakdowns aren't really all that foreign to the film school circles, there's TONS of guys just like him finding meaning in stuff where it doesn't belong. The funny thing is half the time I actually see what he's talking about completely. My main problem with him is that he's the sort where he then also refuses to listen to other interpretations of things, or well thought out rebuttals. Just "Nope, my interpretation is the ONLY one, and you're an idiot if you disagree."

I always looked at his posts as a parody of over-the-top film school reviews anyhow and never understood why people got mad :shrug:

# ? Aug 19, 2016 03:48

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

People know the acronym smg. More than most can say

# ? Aug 19, 2016 03:56

TheRecogScene: Aug 22, 2010; I'm gonna miss you when you're gone.

oldpainless posted:

Pecos Bill
PCOS
PCOS Bill

They sound similar you see

I was not familiar with the legend of Pecos Bill. That explains the pun. Thanks.

# ? Aug 19, 2016 03:56

Carthag Tuek: Oct 15, 2005; Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
sl�gt skal f�lge sl�gters gang

Darth123123 posted:

People know the acronym smg. More than most can say

I can't speak for others, but I'm pretty sure that the majorty of quote posters knows some SMG acronym. Strangely, most are actually the full name???

# ? Aug 19, 2016 04:03

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

BOOTY-ADE posted:

I always looked at his posts as a parody of over-the-top film school reviews anyhow and never understood why people got mad

Because if anyone says anything about what he said he continues and you realize he is either insanely dedicated or more likely totally sincere.

# ? Aug 19, 2016 04:08

oldpainless: Oct 30, 2009; This 📆 post brought to you by RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS👥.
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DudeGoofyGuy posted:

I was not familiar with the legend of Pecos Bill. That explains the pun. Thanks.

That's cool, most people aren't aware of Pecos Bill because it's now a useless piece of information that doesn't really apply to people's lives today, much like knowing about the solar system.

# ? Aug 19, 2016 04:14

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

Keep climbing back up on that hill, guy. It's definitely worth dying on. For sure.

# ? Aug 19, 2016 04:17

Sham bam bamina!: Nov 6, 2012; ƨtupid cat

Anyone who's taken college-level liberal arts should be able to tell that SuperMechaGodzilla is for real.

# ? Aug 19, 2016 04:18

Twerkteam Pizza: Sep 26, 2015; Grimey Drawer

Sham bam bamina! posted:

Anyone who's taken college-level liberal arts should be able to tell that SuperMechaGodzilla is for real.

How loving sad is that tho

# ? Aug 19, 2016 04:26

Carthag Tuek: Oct 15, 2005; Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
sl�gt skal f�lge sl�gters gang

Twerkteam Pizza posted:

How loving sad is that tho

youre sad bro

# ? Aug 19, 2016 04:38

Twerkteam Pizza: Sep 26, 2015; Grimey Drawer

Snapchat A Titty posted:

youre sad bro

Bro

# ? Aug 19, 2016 04:56

Carthag Tuek: Oct 15, 2005; Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
sl�gt skal f�lge sl�gters gang

Twerkteam Pizza posted:

Bro

breh

# ? Aug 19, 2016 04:59

Twerkteam Pizza: Sep 26, 2015; Grimey Drawer

Snapchat A Titty posted:

breh

Brrr

# ? Aug 19, 2016 05:03

Carthag Tuek: Oct 15, 2005; Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
sl�gt skal f�lge sl�gters gang

alright lets hug it out already & get this thread back on its track

# ? Aug 19, 2016 05:46

Twerkteam Pizza: Sep 26, 2015; Grimey Drawer

Snapchat A Titty posted:

alright lets hug it out already & get this thread back on its track

no homo

# ? Aug 19, 2016 05:48

Quad: Dec 31, 2007; I've seen pogs you people wouldn't believe

A while ago I found a copy of

at a used book store, and skimming through it, just had to get it. The reviews in it are from the perspective of someone who obviously knows 'the grammar' of film; shot context, mise en scene, etc. It's obvious that they had been writing about film for a long time. BUT they also happened to be from a completely insane and alien perspective, one that a regular (read:non-batshit racist) person could've never dreamed of.
Things like "Twilight is a unique movie because it's from a woman's perspective" aren't hard to swallow, but "Twilight is a great movie because it subverts Hollywood's pro-Jew agenda by having a woman as the main character, because Jews hate women, and obviously the immortal, rich people who are incredibly dangerous but alluring to Our White Women represent Jews" is a little crazier. But I can understand how, from a certain specific perspective (that of a supremacist), an otherwise thinking and reasoning human being might get that from Twilight.
And that's what SMG is; not a supremacist, just someone whose perspective is skewed in a very specific way. Someone who will watch a film and likely recieve the surface reading that everyone else does, but does not WANT that to be all there is to it, wants it to mean SOMETHING, regardless of what that thing is. This isn't that insane or even unique, communication is a system of symbols. if Zootopia doesn't mean precisely what SMG wrote about, it still objectively contains law enforcement profiling a minority based on the likelihood of them doing violence to the peaceful majority. And then says that the only reason they're doing this violence is that they're being given drugs. From the government. I mean, those things literally occur in that movie, but it's up to the individual to decide, I guess, how much they care about that. SMG just cares 'too much'.

Quad has a new favorite as of 06:00 on Aug 19, 2016

# ? Aug 19, 2016 05:56

Carthag Tuek: Oct 15, 2005; Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
sl�gt skal f�lge sl�gters gang

Quad posted:

A while ago I found a copy of at a used book store, and skimming through it, just had to get it. The reviews in it are from the perspective of someone who obviously knows 'the grammar' of film; shot context, mise en scene, etc. It's obvious that they had been writing about film for a long time. BUT they also happened to be from a completely insane and alien perspective, one that a regular (read:non-batshit racist) person could've never dreamed of.
Things like "Twilight is a unique movie because it's from a woman's perspective" aren't hard to swallow, but "Twilight is a great movie because it subverts Hollywood's pro-Jew agenda by having a woman as the main character, because Jews hate women, and obviously the immortal, rich people who are incredibly dangerous but alluring to Our White Women represent Jews" is a little crazier. But I can understand how, from a certain specific perspective (that of a supremacist), an otherwise thinking and reasoning human being might get that from Twilight.
And that's what SMG is; not a supremacist, just someone whose perspective is skewed in a very specific way. Someone who will watch a film and likely recieve the surface reading that everyone else does, but does not WANT that to be all there is to it, wants it to mean SOMETHING, regardless of what that thing is. This isn't that insane or even unique, communication is a system of symbols. if Zootopia doesn't mean precisely what SMG wrote about, it still objectively contains law enforcement profiling a minority based on the likelihood of them doing violence to the peaceful majority. And then says that the only reason they're doing this violence is that they're being given drugs. From the government. I mean, those things literally occur in that movie, but it's up to the individual to decide, I guess, how much they care about that. SMG just cares 'too much'.

source your quotes

# ? Aug 19, 2016 06:19

Werner-Boogle: Jan 23, 2009

Snapchat A Titty posted:

source your quotes

hahah good meme epic own

# ? Aug 19, 2016 07:03

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

Malachite_Dragon posted:

Keep climbing back up on that hill, guy. It's definitely worth dying on. For sure.

I don't think he knows what a hill is, because that would require gaining knowledge about the natural world.

# ? Aug 19, 2016 07:50

Rough Lobster: May 27, 2009; Don't be such a squid, bro

On the Ryan Lochte affair:

Tunicate posted:

So just to catch up.

Lochte:
* Fell into a pit of toxic liquid.
* Had his hair turn green.
* Committed random criminal acts.
* Remembers his past multiple-choice style.

e: For context if you're not following the Olympics, Lochte is an American swimmer who competed and was made famous after he spread a story about being robbed in Rio, which isn't an unlikely occurrence. Video footage surface of him lying about it. Also, no one knows why but the Olympic pools turned green and smell like egg farts, and dyed Lochte's platinum blonde hair green.

Rough Lobster has a new favorite as of 11:29 on Aug 19, 2016

# ? Aug 19, 2016 11:14

Choco1980: Feb 22, 2013; I fell in love with a Video Nasty

Sham bam bamina! posted:

Anyone who's taken college-level liberal arts should be able to tell that SuperMechaGodzilla is for real.

Right. I only post in a few CD areas (horror and kaiju themed threads) and even then I can see his consistency isn't an act. That his philosophy is a direct and unashamed copy of that of Slavoj Žižek makes it all the funnier. I mean, sometimes he has a point like when he says that Godzilla is both a metaphor for Western colonialism as well as one for the military industrial complex, but then he'll argue for pages about The Shining, basing his argument that Kubrick had to share his belief that there is no such thing as ghosts, even though they are a key part of the story...

# ? Aug 19, 2016 11:32

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

Rough Lobster posted:

Also, no one knows why but the Olympic pools turned green and smell like egg farts, and dyed Lochte's platinum blonde hair green.

Actually we do know this one. The loving geniuses in charge of the pools at Rio were dumping them full of copper sulfate. :pseudo:

little blue crystals make water blue, yes? :pseudo:

It turned his hair green because it was a super-cheap bleach job beforehand.

Malachite_Dragon has a new favorite as of 12:02 on Aug 19, 2016

# ? Aug 19, 2016 11:57

Carthag Tuek: Oct 15, 2005; Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
sl�gt skal f�lge sl�gters gang

Werner-Boogle posted:

hahah good meme epic own

no literally its crap and i want to know what awful website its from

# ? Aug 19, 2016 12:02

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

funmanguy posted:

The worst is no insurance provider covers it. So if you even try to seek treatment you end up with a massive PCOS Bill.

nicce

# ? Aug 19, 2016 13:45

Aston: Nov 19, 2007; Okay
Okay
Okay
Okay
Okay

Malachite_Dragon posted:

Actually we do know this one. The loving geniuses in charge of the pools at Rio were dumping them full of copper sulfate. little blue crystals make water blue, yes?

It turned his hair green because it was a super-cheap bleach job beforehand.

isn't that the Joker's origin story?

# ? Aug 19, 2016 14:01

RagnarokAngel: Oct 5, 2006; Black Magic Extraordinaire

Aston posted:

isn't that the Joker's origin story?

# ? Aug 19, 2016 14:10

Jedit: Dec 10, 2011; Proudly supporting vanilla legends 1994-2014

Snapchat A Titty posted:

I can't speak for others, but I'm pretty sure that the majorty of quote posters knows some SMG acronym. Strangely, most are actually the full name???

There are several SMG acronyms, though. It could be SuperMechaGodzilla, or it could be a submachine gun. It is easy to tell which one is meant, however, because after reading a post in Cinema Discusso nobody ever wanted to put SuperMechaGodzilla in their mouth.

# ? Aug 19, 2016 14:16

Carthag Tuek: Oct 15, 2005; Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
sl�gt skal f�lge sl�gters gang

soup mother gentleman

# ? Aug 19, 2016 14:27

purple death ray: Jul 28, 2007; me omw 2 steal ur girl

Snapchat A Titty posted:

soup mother gentleman

That's my favorite captain beefheart album

# ? Aug 19, 2016 14:49

N. Senada: May 17, 2011; My kidneys are busted

solid metal gear

# ? Aug 19, 2016 15:40

Ride The Gravitron: May 2, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

mysterious frankie posted:

GOING TO GET COFFEE

-me: *walking to break room, holding lucky mug & singing* it's friday, I'm in love...

-jerry from marketing: *interrupts while walking by* no coffee, bud. sandra forgot to order more.

-me: ...with deeeeeeeath.

HOLDING A MEETING

-me: everyone, as I'm sure you are aware, the office currently has no keurig pods.

*general panicky murmuring*

-steve from accounting: my god!

-mary from hr: of course this would happen on friday the 13th.

-ted from reception: uh, it's not friday the 13th...

-mary from hr: well, it's friday the 13th somewhere!

-ted from reception: *looks at camera jimishly*

*panicked murmurs intensify*

-me: just shut up, all of you! look, we're all broad, poorly realized, caricatures of office workers. we all know that. and being as such, we cannot live without coffee. some sort of jg ballardian postmodern nightmare scenario is more likely to occur with each passing moment we remain decaffeinated.

-jerry from marketing: *naked from the waist down, wearing feces derived warpaint & his tie as a headband he emerges from a makeshift lean-to fully engorged* who wants to join my rape gang?

-me: we're not there yet.

-jerry: *dejectedly* awww

-mary from hr: so what are we going to do to stave off this terrible, allegory heavy, future?

-me: we send an intern to startbucks...

-ted from reception: yes, an intern...

-mary from hr: ...to starbucks

-jerry from marketing: or maybe we form rape gangs?

-me: maybe... wait, no. definitely the coffee thing.

-jerry from marketing: fiiiine, but could we at least get from peet's? starbucks is the worst.

*panicked murmuring intensifies*

THE JOURNEY

steve from accounting: so you know what to do?

intern from college: I take the 70 dollars you gave me and get everything on this list from starbucks?

jerry from marketing: and peet's.

intern from college: and peet's.

steve from accounting: correct. godspeed, son. now get on your dipshit idiot honda scooter for moronic young people who are too stupid to know what is a good thing to drive and ride, drat you!

intern from college: k.

*the intern steps out, looks around nervously. he takes a deep breath then steps toward the parking lot. he is immediately cut down by a hail of gun fire. a group of other office workers from another firm in the park scurry out from their hiding places and take the money from his body*

random office worker from elsewhere: yes! yeeessss! coffee run money! *he lifts the handful of bills to the sky* everyone, we live to see the morrow!

all the other idiots: *in unison* huzzah!

steve from accounting: well... well poo poo. that was... that was my wife's nephew. gently caress. I'm never going to hear the end of this.

me: *looking at camera* well, I guess that's what we get. I guess that's what we get for living in a country with lax gun laws. I guess that was the message of this friday. I guess that's the big take away. I guess we brought this on ourselves then. I guess...

mary from hr: yeah, no, we got it.

# ? Aug 19, 2016 17:38

Tracula: Mar 26, 2010; PLEASE LEAVE

Talk of SMG got me thinking. Is 50 Foot Ant still around at all?

# ? Aug 19, 2016 17:39

Samovar: Jun 4, 2011; I'm 😤 not a 🦸🏻‍♂️hero...🧜🏻

Heath posted:

I never see SMG posts outside of this thread, do people actually take his gimmick seriously or what?

I seem to recall back when GamerGate was a thing, he caused one of those nutters meltdown by simply repeating 'Threat of rape is a bad thing, yes or no?'.

That's when I knew for definite I liked them.

# ? Aug 19, 2016 19:45

Ride The Gravitron: May 2, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

Fried Watermelon posted:

How do you guys cope with the realization that Office Space was very close to reality?

PK loving SUBBAN posted:

Uhh but the horror in Office Space was being stuck in some dead end job until you die.

That kind of job security is nowhere near close to 2016 reality.

# ? Aug 19, 2016 19:51

FactsAreUseless: Feb 16, 2011

Tracula posted:

Talk of SMG got me thinking. Is 50 Foot Ant still around at all?

God, I hope not.

# ? Aug 19, 2016 20:26

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# ? May 10, 2024 07:40

Hogge Wild: Aug 21, 2012; by FactsAreUseless; Pillbug

was bruiser also one of his nom de plumes

# ? Aug 19, 2016 20:28

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