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Malachite_Dragon posted:Keep climbing back up on that hill, guy. It's definitely worth dying on. For sure. Picnic Princess posted:I don't think he knows what a hill is, because that would require gaining knowledge about the natural world. Haha yeah exactly
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Aug 19, 2016 20:59
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Sham bam bamina! posted:Anyone who's taken college-level liberal arts should be able to tell that SuperMechaGodzilla is for real. I'm an English major who went to a liberal arts school over-interpreting everything is what I do for fun. Only problem is, this site has a bunch of STEMlords who can only enjoy themselves If they're doing math or arguing about phone OSes or interpreting the most obvious metaphors in kids movies at face value.
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Aug 20, 2016 00:08
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As a fellow English major, I find SMG-style "how far can I push this?" readings annoying at best, let alone when the person doubles down on them without any sense of perspective (on an ostensible comedy site). On the other hand, bullshit like this always makes me smile, so maybe I'm just a terrible English major: Smythe posted:LOVE long pubes! Love to make a big snort and pull them into my sinuses. Like to feel them wrap around the boogers and yank on them when im sucking cock. then, when the load comes and blows me back - the hairs rip them boogies right out like a tooth to a string to a doorknob. Smythe posted:i like to stretch my balls out with fish hooks and bungee cords behind my rear end and dump into them like sardines falling onto a tarp
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Aug 20, 2016 01:25
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Sham bam bamina! posted:As a fellow English major, I find SMG-style "how far can I push this?" readings annoying at best, let alone when the person doubles down on them without any sense of perspective (on an ostensible comedy site). we would have gotten along in english pretty well i think   
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Aug 20, 2016 01:32
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You know, any old shitposter can start a derail. But SMG can derail threads in completely different subforums without even posting in them. It's like some sort of idiot savant autistic superpower.
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Aug 20, 2016 01:43
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Axeman Jim posted:You know, any old shitposter can start a derail. But SMG can derail threads in completely different subforums without even posting in them. It's like some sort of idiot savant autistic superpower. Isn't creative interpretation the opposite of autism?
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Aug 20, 2016 02:04
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Count Chocula posted:Isn't creative interpretation the opposite of autism? You'd think so, but in my experience, no. It's all autism, all the way down.
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Aug 20, 2016 03:18
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Autism takes many forms and all of them are annoying
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Aug 20, 2016 03:53
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I believe 50 Foot Ant is now named Nostalgia4ColdWar? I'm not sure he posts anywhere other than GiP at this point, which is probably for the best.
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Aug 20, 2016 04:23
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I liked 50FA stories. 
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Aug 20, 2016 05:55
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So do I, but apparently they aren't true so they aren't allowed. Unlike slobbering on SMGs knob, which is totally different because:
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Aug 20, 2016 05:59
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Sham bam bamina! posted:As a fellow English major, I find SMG-style "how far can I push this?" readings annoying at best, let alone when the person doubles down on them without any sense of perspective (on an ostensible comedy site). Hey as a current English major you gotta remember that most of the English canon began with Chaucer writing sex jokes
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Aug 20, 2016 05:59
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Absurd Alhazred posted:I liked 50FA stories. My main complaint about them was how pretty much every time his character says anything, he either "snarl"s or "growl"s it and is super over the top badass. The earlier stuff was pretty OK, at least in subject matter if not writing quality, but devolved quickly into poo poo walls of text that made reading those threads a chore.
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Aug 20, 2016 07:21
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don't all GBS superstar stories end up with them eventually being written as a super cool badass? they all start out as some (arguably) funny stories and then they end as masturbatory wish fulfillment
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Aug 20, 2016 08:18
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FlyinPingu posted:don't all GBS superstar stories end up with them eventually being written as a super cool badass? My favorite ones were always the ones about people's wacky insane and possibly dangerous co-workers fictitious or not since half the time the narrator was either trying to be the voice of reason, or just making GBS threads their pants thinking they were going to die. But yeah a lot of them the narrator would inevitably start like, kicking people's asses and intimidating bikers and poo poo while all the hot women would hit on them.
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Aug 20, 2016 11:13
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FlyinPingu posted:don't all GBS superstar stories end up with them eventually being written as a super cool badass? Spuchuu and Angry Bee Dance epitomized this trend. Spuchuu posted:Last year, I had to get somewhere fast. I know most of the shortcuts, so I opened a door and started climbing stairs. There's a security guy there saying "You can't go here." He was sitting in a chair and didn't bother to move to get in my way. Angry Bee Dance posted:I look around, and no one else is there. I'm hoping my invisible friends have my back. This guy's got 6 inches and at least 50 pounds on me.
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Aug 20, 2016 13:21
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Thin Privilege posted:Oh my god what are you people talking about? Finger binary? It makes no sense to me Slime posted:It's a digital counting method. Keru posted:Ugh, kids today can't even do analog fingering anymore... ashnjack posted:Now it's all digital fingering Tasteful Dickpic posted:Is that why it's such a cold, smooth form of sexual interaction? sinking belle posted:Haha nice,, but what if it was analog, tho? Mak0rz posted:Analog fingering is warmer. Fart.Bleed.Repeat. posted:plus there are tubes Hardcordion posted:A digital fingering is nice, analog fingering is a good way to get splinters.
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Aug 20, 2016 16:08
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Absurd Alhazred posted:I liked 50FA stories.
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Aug 20, 2016 16:10
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Some of the stories were entertaining, and part of the entertainment were the goons who believed that the stories were true and protected his honour and part of the entertainment was the autist brigade who got really mad when people liked stories which were made up.
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Aug 20, 2016 16:15
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I'm sure it's been brought up before, but who was the goon that would tell stories about him jump kicking burglers and stopping robberies? He would always take off his sunglasses and say "Let's do this," or something and then make fun of the responding cops. Those stoies were all hilarious and I loved them.
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Aug 20, 2016 18:05
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Absurd Alhazred posted:I liked 50FA stories. Some were pretty decent. But i felt at some point they got so prestigious thatbonce they started posting stories in a thread, they scared off other people from sharing whack rear end stories. Who wants to post about weird poo poo hapoening to them when the entire thread would rather have more 50fta? Or, at least, thats just what some old archived threada feel like upon rereading them. At least two old ghost story threads were killed off with 50fta posts.
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Aug 20, 2016 18:15
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All 50FA stories are the goddamn same, same tone, same self-satisfied protagonist, same lovely twists, the goddamn same.
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Aug 20, 2016 18:15
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VanSandman posted:All 50FA stories are the goddamn same, same tone, same self-satisfied protagonist, same lovely twists, the goddamn same.
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Aug 20, 2016 18:18
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50FA and Adaptive Systems are two story goons that I will never understand the love for, but at least every time I see the Adaptive Systems nonsense story about farting angels stealing boats from time because war is bad, it gives me a laugh
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Aug 20, 2016 18:18
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Solice Kirsk posted:I'm sure it's been brought up before, but who was the goon that would tell stories about him jump kicking burglers and stopping robberies? He would always take off his sunglasses and say "Let's do this," or something and then make fun of the responding cops. Those stoies were all hilarious and I loved them. "mjq jazz bar", I believe. Would dig them up for you, but I'm posting from a lovely phone.
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Aug 20, 2016 18:21
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The only good story is Heebie-GBS building his own recordInfrateal posted:Yeah sorry im late i just got back from the hospital... no im fine, i had to take heebs-g. uh-huh. yeaaaaah. like this:
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Aug 20, 2016 18:23
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Wedemeyer posted:Some were pretty decent. But i felt at some point they got so prestigious thatbonce they started posting stories in a thread, they scared off other people from sharing whack rear end stories. Who wants to post about weird poo poo hapoening to them when the entire thread would rather have more 50fta? I don't think the problem ever was that the thread wanted more 50 ft ant (they were going to get it either way), it's that the multiple walls of text every page would cause people to just speed scroll through and miss everyone else's posts assuming it was either more of the story or people reacting and being all "omg so spooky" in response to them. The thing I never got about those threads is how so many goons were like "you should put all these together and sell it as a book". They even did it with that goonbumps thing or whatever. Why would you buy a book when you could just hit the question mark next to that posters name in the thread?
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Aug 20, 2016 18:25
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Solice Kirsk posted:I'm sure it's been brought up before, but who was the goon that would tell stories about him jump kicking burglers and stopping robberies? He would always take off his sunglasses and say "Let's do this," or something and then make fun of the responding cops. Those stoies were all hilarious and I loved them. Those are the ultimate hustler stories: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3749412&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=2#post452402761
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Aug 20, 2016 18:28
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FactsAreUseless posted:On the other hand, his wife sure was pregnant! For like 3 years worth of stories she was pregnant. Kid gonna graduate while he's in there
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Aug 20, 2016 18:29
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VanSandman posted:All 50FA stories are the goddamn same, same tone, same self-satisfied protagonist, same lovely twists, the goddamn same. Was he the one who (supposedly) had a blind friend who kept having his stick stolen, so he rigged it to give a shock to anybody who touched it without permission? I remember that thread being fairly entertaining, whether or not the stories were true, but once the thread got popular, the OP suddenly changed up his writing style abruptly. Up to then, his writing was basically standard message board posts, somebody relating a story from memory, but then he randomly decided to write it more like a traditional short-story. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, except instead of continuing to tell crazy/entertaining stories about him and the friend, suddenly it was about how the friend was fretting and wishing he was as cool and confident as the OP, and the OP telling him "Hey, you *are* cool" (in many more words), while meeting up with a couple of lady friends and going arm-in-arm into the sunset. The change was so jarring, and worse, the story was BORING. It's like he completely misunderstood why people loved the stories in the first place (and, strangely, I found the earlier stories about the crazy hijinks more believable than the wistful crap he wrote towards the end) Going back to SMG, does anybody have his take-down of Duke Nukem Forever? I'm not a fan of SMG, but that post was spot-on.
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Aug 20, 2016 18:31
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I thought some of his stories in the old "Best"/"Worst"/"Notable" tabletop experience threads were nice. I don't really care that they were all bullshit. I was really more annoyed with people getting into stupid arguments as to whether they were real or not. It's stories on the Internet, you shouldn't take them as Holy Writ.  It's not like I'd bother hunting for them now or anything.
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Aug 20, 2016 19:43
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Lunchmeat Larry posted:50FA and Adaptive Systems are two story goons that I will never understand the love for, but at least every time I see the Adaptive Systems nonsense story about farting angels stealing boats from time because war is bad, it gives me a laugh It's some fairly solid surrealist writing - though the boats and time one about war is probably the least weird of the bunch. It's supposed to be nonsense, but it's definitely a marmite-style thing.
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Aug 20, 2016 19:46
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lenoon posted:It's some fairly solid surrealist writing - though the boats and time one about war is probably the least weird of the bunch. It's supposed to be nonsense, but it's definitely a marmite-style thing. That was a horrifying post about his wife doing rounds as a combat medic. About half way through I scrolled up to see who posted it and breathed a huge sigh of relief when I discovered it was a 50ft ant story
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Aug 20, 2016 20:23
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PBS Newshour posted:The only good story is Heebie-GBS building his own record I remember crying laughing the first time I read this. 
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Aug 20, 2016 22:11
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FactsAreUseless posted:On the other hand, his wife sure was pregnant! So hot, so pregnant.
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Aug 20, 2016 22:12
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Absurd Alhazred posted:I thought some of his stories in the old "Best"/"Worst"/"Notable" tabletop experience threads were nice. I don't really care that they were all bullshit. I was really more annoyed with people getting into stupid arguments as to whether they were real or not. It's stories on the Internet, you shouldn't take them as Holy Writ. Yeah, his tabletop stories were probably the best ones that I had read (and I'm sure I only read a few) because they seemed the closest to "likely to be true" territory. Like, instead of him being some military badass, or not speaking until middle school, here were stories about awful people playing D&D with him that really weren't any worse than some goons, so it's fully possible that he played with a fat, racist, cheater who everyone hated except the guy who owned the store they played in, who antagonized him enough to get him to beat his rear end.
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Aug 20, 2016 22:38
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Eh! Frank posted:Was he the one who (supposedly) had a blind friend who kept having his stick stolen, so he rigged it to give a shock to anybody who touched it without permission? I remember that thread being fairly entertaining, whether or not the stories were true, but once the thread got popular, the OP suddenly changed up his writing style abruptly. Up to then, his writing was basically standard message board posts, somebody relating a story from memory, but then he randomly decided to write it more like a traditional short-story. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, except instead of continuing to tell crazy/entertaining stories about him and the friend, suddenly it was about how the friend was fretting and wishing he was as cool and confident as the OP, and the OP telling him "Hey, you *are* cool" (in many more words), while meeting up with a couple of lady friends and going arm-in-arm into the sunset. The change was so jarring, and worse, the story was BORING. It's like he completely misunderstood why people loved the stories in the first place (and, strangely, I found the earlier stories about the crazy hijinks more believable than the wistful crap he wrote towards the end) Nope that was Humper-Monkey. The same dude with the stepson (nephew? long lost actual son? forgot) who was schizophrenic or something and thought he was a super saiyan. A lot of people thought he and 50FA were the same guy posting under different accounts.
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Aug 20, 2016 22:39
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Sex Hobbit posted:Nope that was Humper-Monkey. The same dude with the stepson (nephew? long lost actual son? forgot) who was schizophrenic or something and thought he was a super saiyan. A lot of people thought he and 50FA were the same guy posting under different accounts. I liked the part where he was a distressingly overbearing father who raised his kids like they were in bootcamp
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Aug 20, 2016 22:56
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One of the best was the (French Canadian?) guy years ago (like 2004) with the 'special' brother who would instantly vomit if he saw soup or something and tried to have sex with birds(?) because the ms paints along with it were just hilarious. I'm sure i have some saved that I'll dig up when I'm not phone psoting.
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Aug 20, 2016 23:37
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Sex Hobbit posted:Nope that was Humper-Monkey. The same dude with the stepson (nephew? long lost actual son? forgot) who was schizophrenic or something and thought he was a super saiyan. A lot of people thought he and 50FA were the same guy posting under different accounts. I was about to ask if 50FA was the Humper-Monkey guy. I remember that whole nephew story and thinking it was cool when I was a super hip and cool 16 year old.
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Aug 20, 2016 23:52
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