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spacetoaster posted:My conspiracy theory is that the companies that contract to make these programs intentionally make them terrible so they can have continuous money coming in for "updates". Rather than work through a sister service, we ordered new TMs from a contractor direct. They left out like half the "can kill your or mulch your limbs" dangers. It will cost money to fix instead of using what the Navy already or just telling them they should've put that poo poo in from day 1, because probably some FGO or GS already signed off saying "it's good."
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Aug 24, 2016 01:39
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spacetoaster posted:
Can confirm. Around week 3 in Haiti, my friend came up behind me and put an ice cube down my shirt. I was mad that he didn't get it on my face. Turns out, the Jamaicans set up shop right next to us. They were loving partying all the time, sold delicious pineapple Fanta that people straight up offered us cigarettes or dip for one. Cost was one dollar, and it took a good bit before everyone found out. But man. That first loving drink? I felt like I had sucked the dick of gods and this was my grateful bukake.
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Aug 24, 2016 02:54
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Vasudus posted:My org is paperless to the point where they're publishing a monthly report of who printed x amount of pages (it's all tied to your CAC) and anybody over 10 pages/month gets shamed. I was part of a division staff that went paperless in like 2009. I thought it was like a DoD wide effort back then.
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Aug 24, 2016 02:55
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Soulex posted:Can confirm. Around week 3 in Haiti, my friend came up behind me and put an ice cube down my shirt. I was mad that he didn't get it on my face. I remember my first cold Pepsi in Iraq. It was the best god drat thing I have ever drank, with ice cold orange fanta in second place by a decent margin.
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Aug 24, 2016 03:33
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There was a point at which the only drinks we had were diet coke and water for a month and a half. That first RipIt tasted like a delicious, meth-infused strawberry
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Aug 24, 2016 04:49
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bulletsponge13 posted:I remember my first cold Pepsi in Iraq. It was the best god drat thing I have ever drank, with ice cold orange fanta in second place by a decent margin. Mine wasn't even cold, I wrapped it in wet toilet paper to get it under 'burn your hand' hot. And apparently educated my entire platoon on the miracles of evaporative cooling.
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Aug 24, 2016 04:53
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Were any of you guys in the OIF 1? For a few weeks in the beginning, of the war, supply was so f'ed up that we were rationed two bottles of water a day. Ha ha, good times..... I also slept on the hood of a truck for a month.
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Aug 24, 2016 04:59
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I don't think anyone in today's big army would be able to survive without smart phones.
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Aug 24, 2016 05:04
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spacetoaster posted:Were any of you guys in the OIF 1? For a few weeks in the beginning, of the war, supply was so f'ed up that we were rationed two bottles of water a day. Ha ha, good times..... MOPP2 for 2-3 weeks & same on the water. 1 or 2 of the 1.5L bottle or whatever they were.
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Aug 24, 2016 05:06
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SwampDonkey posted:MOPP2 for 2-3 weeks & same on the water. 1 or 2 of the 1.5L bottle or whatever they were. War must have sucked when it was actually war
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Aug 24, 2016 05:22
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how many green beans coffees did you drink in iraq
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Aug 24, 2016 05:28
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the caramel frozen coffee was boss
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Aug 24, 2016 05:32
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spacetoaster posted:Were any of you guys in the OIF 1? For a few weeks in the beginning, of the war, supply was so f'ed up that we were rationed two bottles of water a day. Ha ha, good times..... I realized real fast that the building we were 'inhabiting' was holding the heat of the day, and the best place to sleep was on a stretcher behind the turret of the truck.
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Aug 24, 2016 05:34
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mlmp08 posted:Hey when I figured out which programmer decided that rejected evaluations shouldn't have all the signatures auto-stripped so you have to call or text or Email EVERYONE to make the fix, Imma strangle that nerd. Being an IT nerd, it really has to do with how certificates work; it wouldn't be worth anything to have a signature that didn't prevent modifications to a document, which means that basically it's encrypted in such a way that allows anyone to read it, but only the people who possess the private keys to that cert to remove their own signature. It prevents pencilwhipping a form after the senior rater and OIC validates. They're not implemented well in this use -- wouldn't take a lot of effort to maybe implement a script that copies the existing information to a new document and delete the old one when they kick it back to you. Wasabi the J fucked around with this message at 08:43 on Aug 24, 2016 |
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Aug 24, 2016 08:38
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Another assignment where I got about 50 texts from my captain. After a mis-fire and sitting on my rear end for hours, finally got the footage I need. As soon as I come back to cell service, five more texts. "Status report." "Got the photos and video. Good to go." "Did you get the shout out?" (Which he asked me to get four hours ago) "Yes." "Good job! I might get you a steak dinner." Holy gently caress dude I am not a dog. Let me do my job and stop loving texting me. He retires next year, so gently caress it. I've had worse.
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Aug 26, 2016 00:20
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I am so, so glad that I was never in the Army when smartphones exist. I never ever got a a SMS from anybody, and the excuse "I dont have a cell phone" still kinda worked.
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Aug 26, 2016 01:05
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Vasudus posted:I am so, so glad that I was never in the Army when smartphones exist. I never ever got a a SMS from anybody, and the excuse "I dont have a cell phone" still kinda worked. Hell when I was in bag-phones were just starting to hit the market, and pagers were in their infancy. 
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Aug 26, 2016 01:08
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"It's columbus georgia. My cell phone doesn't get reception most of the time" Gotta remember to actually turn the fucker off though.
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Aug 26, 2016 01:47
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J.A.B.C. posted:Another assignment where I got about 50 texts from my captain. After a mis-fire and sitting on my rear end for hours, finally got the footage I need. wait you gonna look down your nose at a free steak dinner? what the gently caress man
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Aug 26, 2016 07:59
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its gently caress the army friday eat poo poo army, forever and ever gently caress you if you were in double gently caress you if you're still in
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Aug 26, 2016 08:46
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Nostalgia4Butts posted:its gently caress the army friday
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Aug 26, 2016 11:21
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Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:wait you gonna look down your nose at a free steak dinner? what the gently caress man I think its that the fact the military can take shooting guns and make it the shittiest experience in the world has soured his experience.  today I had a sadbrains attack thing that I can't explain and I didn't want everyone to think I was a shitbag and go to EMF so I didn't. I'm better now, but it's really lovely that I don't trust my leadership enough to go, "Hey I feel like someone died for no reason, and I'm having these thoughts that I don't want in my head," without loving being branded or treated with kiddie gloves. All in all a good Army day.
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Aug 26, 2016 11:44
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Syrian Lannister posted:Hell when I was in bag-phones were just starting to hit the market, and pagers were in their infancy. My last assignment before retirement, I had to carry a pager 24/7. This is probably why I was one of the last people on earth to get a cell phone when they became ubiquitous.
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Aug 26, 2016 11:59
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Cat Army
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MightyJoe36 posted:My last assignment before retirement, I had to carry a pager 24/7. This is probably why I was one of the last people on earth to get a cell phone when they became ubiquitous. Finally dumped my pager in 2004-2005.
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Aug 26, 2016 12:21
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Wasabi the J posted:I think its that the fact the military can take shooting guns and make it the shittiest experience in the world has soured his experience. A healthy mix of this and being treated as if I haven't been doing this job for almost a decade. It's aggravating, in all honesty. And the whole 'Good boy, here's a treat!' thing really set me off, so I bitched about it on here. Wasabi the J posted:today I had a sadbrains attack thing that I can't explain and I didn't want everyone to think I was a shitbag and go to EMF so I didn't. Try MilitaryOneSource. They got me some help when Fort Hood didn't want to bother, and since it was civilian I could wrangle the schedule to go see the therapist and not report it in. It helped a lot.
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Aug 26, 2016 14:07
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It's not even that the Army makes shooting guns stupid but the very particular way they make shooting guns stupid. They want you to be aggressive and bloodthirsty and take initiative but god help you if you shoot outside of very particular spots and if the person next to you is even one inch ahead of you. They turn ranges that are supposed to be simulations of near ambushes into some sort of ISPC match. If you have to ask yourself "if I shoot this, will I get yelled at?" about a popup that appeared 5 feet in front of you, something is wrong in the way it's being conducted. I know safety is a huge thing and doing this sort of thing in basic would be a very bad idea, but it feels equivalent to tankers doing gunnery but never ever ever training to shoot while moving, or fighter pilots never exceeding a reasonably low G-level.
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Aug 26, 2016 21:03
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Wasabi the J posted:
gently caress the unit. Get your poo poo fixed. You don't want that poo poo to get out of hand and boil over. Believe me, its better to get help than not.
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Aug 26, 2016 21:29
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ASAPI posted:gently caress the unit. Get your poo poo fixed. You don't want that poo poo to get out of hand and boil over. Believe me, its better to get help than not. Also while I know some unit leadership are real dickheads about behavioral health, it seems more of them are realizing dealing with it early sucks waaaay less than suddenly having a soldier get in serious trouble or die or kill someone. So gently caress 'em get fixed.
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Aug 26, 2016 21:54
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gonna go against the grain and say bottle it up for a decade or so edit: then become a CSM and make everyones lives miserable
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Aug 26, 2016 21:59
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Hillary Clintons Thong posted:gonna go against the grain and say bottle it up for a decade or so Pretty sure that is how baby CSMs are born. That and unicorn tears.
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Aug 26, 2016 22:09
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sir would you like to come up to the podium for this weekends safety brief, we finally got the guys from kp and monthly weapon inspection back and were ready to break
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Aug 26, 2016 22:20
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wait no, since we only hire one person to be our admin nco, all of our admin work was bottlenecked all day and we need to stand around and watch them do paperwork while every enlisted soldier except the e4 bitch we grabbed from support btn to data entry the third set of phone numbers and addresses we got from the troops this fiscal year has to gently caress around and pretend to take an hour and a half to clean the afrc, before having them sit down in the lobby playing on their phones for 30 minutes
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Aug 26, 2016 22:23
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speaking of which, our system seems to have lost all the cei information for half your soldiers, so make sure that next month you get every single troop back in here in the computer lab with 10 computers that run windows 7 professional on dells from the aughts and the best dial up uncle sam can pay the lowest bidder for to pipe securely into the facility, big army says that we need to have all that green or were in trouble
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Aug 26, 2016 22:25
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*lower enlisted admits to commander that he has been using a fake piss bottle to cheat the drug test and has been smoking weed for like 5 years, commander doesn't immediately seperate soldier and gives soldier second chance to stay in if he goes to rehabilitation courses* *same lower enlisted soldier pisses hot again the next month, is stripped from the active deployment roster to rear det but still not separated*
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Aug 26, 2016 22:26
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formation at 530, final formation at 630, and no we arent feeding you breakfast or dinner. dont worry though, we took all the extra money the feds gave the state for your mob and bought catered lunch today
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Aug 26, 2016 22:28
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why did he admit that
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Aug 26, 2016 22:28
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*NCOs hand out a stapled paper cheat sheet for the online modern standard arabic course thats mandatory for everybody, but the paper was xeroxed like poo poo and is illegible anyway, so everyone still has to read and do the mandatory course*
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Aug 26, 2016 22:31
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*assigns 4 soldiers to supply to clean all of the m16s, is upset later to find that almost none of it was done so the entire company gets pulled to clean weapons* Dont worry though, the commander still wants 1730 final formation, so all that will happen is 50 people will line up and draw weapons, and then as soon as they get onto the floor to pull them apart, someone will come in and say 'just put all the weapons back, we'll do it tomorrow'
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Aug 26, 2016 22:33
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how long did the 4 dudes have to clean all the rifles?
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Aug 26, 2016 22:34
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Nostalgia4Butts posted:why did he admit that hes a retard who recently joined a fundamentalist church and now unironically believes the rapture is a mere 5 years away he pissed hot on purpose to get out of deploying so that he could stay here in the states and 'recieve face to face bible teaching' from his pastor. he will look for people to disagree with so he can tell them 'you can believe what you want, but what i'm telling you is still the truth  'hes also a womanizer and makes jokes like 'did your girlfriend ask you for permission to do that?' and be serious about it
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Aug 26, 2016 22:37
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