Star Trek: *hits blunt* The higher, the fewerrrrrr

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > TV IV > Star Trek: *hits blunt* The higher, the fewerrrrrr

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Apollodorus: Feb 13, 2010; TEST YOUR MIGHT

armoredgorilla posted:

https://www.google.com/search?q=fat+baseball+players&tbm=isch

Lol just lol if you think fat people can't be athletic:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ebcwcNRfTok

# ? Aug 24, 2016 16:22

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# ? May 10, 2024 18:44

Sash!: Mar 16, 2001

armoredgorilla posted:

If you can't get a concussion in the course of expected play, it's not a sport.

Swimming and track and field, not sports.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 16:32

Farmer Crack-Ass: Jan 2, 2001; this is me posting irl

Gammatron 64 posted:

Soccer still exists in Star Trek. Pretty sure basketball and hockey are still around, too. Baseball is extinct, though. It's really kind weird how big into baseball Sisko is when it died out before he was born. Spectator sports are an ongoing thing and the main appeal is watching a game while it's happening or close to it so you can root for a team. If the last game was a hundred years ago and you know who is going to win, that kind of takes the fun out of it.

I think the weirdness is somewhat intentional, it's supposed to be a quirk of his.

Also probably because Michael Piller loving loved baseball and could not get enough of it.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 16:41

Apollodorus: Feb 13, 2010; TEST YOUR MIGHT

Yeah but swimming has another kind of risk attached to it

http://www.hepatitiscentral.com/news/is_hepatitis_tr/

# ? Aug 24, 2016 16:42

Powered Descent: Jul 13, 2008; We haven't had that spirit here since 1969.

MrJacobs posted:

Also why the gently caress isn't soccer used a major sport more in Star Trek? Why the gently caress is water polo still a sport when humans become "enlightened"?

Humanity has progressed beyond petty things like soccer. Now they wear floor mats on their elbows and they... uh... hmm... come to think of it, they never actually explained what you DO in Parrises Squares. But I'm sure it's very enlightened and evolved, whatever it is.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 16:42

Apollodorus: Feb 13, 2010; TEST YOUR MIGHT

It's not safe for 12-year olds, I can tell you that much. RIP the holodoctor's holodaughter

# ? Aug 24, 2016 16:45

Well Manicured Man: Aug 21, 2010; Well Manicured Mort

Didn't kid Worf kill another kid in a soccer match?

# ? Aug 24, 2016 16:47

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

To be fair, that child had no honour.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 16:48

Pakled: Aug 6, 2011; WE ARE SMART

I've always assumed that Parrises Squares involves a zero-gravity room with moving wall panels.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 16:50

The Bloop: Jul 5, 2004; by Fluffdaddy

Pakled posted:

I've always assumed that Parrises Squares involves a zero-gravity room with moving wall panels.

Like the battle room from Ender's Game but with lacrosse sticks or something instead of laser guns.

edit:
it's probably this:

The Bloop fucked around with this message at 16:55 on Aug 24, 2016

# ? Aug 24, 2016 16:52

Sash!: Mar 16, 2001

Apollodorus posted:

Yeah but swimming has another kind of risk attached to it

http://www.hepatitiscentral.com/news/is_hepatitis_tr/

Yeah but if you get a head injury while running, you are probably a toddler

# ? Aug 24, 2016 16:56

Mister Kingdom: Dec 14, 2005; And the tears that fall
On the city wall
Will fade away
With the rays of morning light

Blade_of_tyshalle posted:

To be fair, that child had no honour.

If he did, he wouldn't being playing soccer. :rimshot:

# ? Aug 24, 2016 17:03

Big Mean Jerk: Jan 27, 2009; Well, of course I know him.
He's me.

Blade_of_tyshalle posted:

To be fair, that child's skull had no honour.

ftfy

# ? Aug 24, 2016 17:05

The Bloop: Jul 5, 2004; by Fluffdaddy

The honor is contained in the skull ridges, and you can tell how honorable a Klingon is by the pattern of ridges. Smooth-headed Klingon augments were without honor, which is why they are not discussed.

Klingon phrenology.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 17:08

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Well Manicured Man posted:

Didn't kid Worf kill another kid in a soccer match?

Really makes one double take at his "Death to the opposition!" yell in the DS9 baseball episode.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 17:12

Mortanis: Dec 28, 2005; It's your father's lightsaber. This is the weapon of a Jedi Knight.; College Slice

Moving on in my chronological Star Trek full-rewatch. I was born in the 70s and had a childhood full of TOS re-runs before TNG started and I'm pretty sure I've caught most episodes. The writing, though... The Man Trap has Kirk narrate right to the audience exactly what's going on as if the entirely not subtle clues on screen weren't enough. No idea if that was a common trope of the time or if early Trek is just super clunky.

Bones: Man she looks like she hasn't aged a day
Ensign: Huh, she looks exactly like a space chick I used to bang a few planets back. *shows a different woman on screen*
Kirk voice over: Little did we know we were all seeing a different person.
*stinger music*

# ? Aug 24, 2016 17:22

Cojawfee: May 31, 2006; I think the US is dumb for not using Celsius

Yeah, that's really weird. I think in The Naked Time they do similar where Kirk says something like "Little did we know but a virus had been brought onboard." I guess it makes sense if the captain's log is being done after the entire thing plays out and the episode is just showing what happened in his log as opposed to him making several logs in succession over the course of the episode.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 17:35

FlamingLiberal: Jan 18, 2009; Would you like to play a game?

Man Trap was the first episode to air...needless to say it's rough

# ? Aug 24, 2016 18:07

skasion: Feb 13, 2012; Why don't you perform zazen, facing a wall?

Man Trap is actually a really good episode. The ham handedness of the narration lets up after the first few episodes, mostly.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 18:17

Cat Hatter: Oct 24, 2006; Hatters gonna hat.

FlamingLiberal posted:

Man Trap was the first episode to air...needless to say it's rough

But it was produced after Corbomite Maneuver and Where No Man Has Gone Before which were pretty good for the most part. I assume Man Trap was edited first though and that's where the roughness came from.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 18:24

bull3964: Nov 18, 2000; DO YOU HEAR THAT? THAT'S THE SOUND OF ME PATTING MYSELF ON THE BACK.

Railing Kill posted:

Holy poo poo. That's awesome. That already explains some of the differences between T'Pol and the Vulcans I've seen in other shows. She's almost amoral, and has no interest in exploration. Spock and Tuvok are both staunch moralists in their own ways, and Spock is a consummate explorer. I mean, his catch phrase is, "fascinating." That word doesn't seem to exist in T'Pol's vocabulary. If the half of Surak's teachings they have is, "stop being psychotic beasts and learn to control your emotions," then the other half must be, "...but don't be a loving prude and get out there and learn poo poo."

Before you get too excited. This wasn't a planned thing. This was Manny Coto making lemonade out of lemons. The Vulcan characterization was so poo poo for the first three seasons that he did a bit of a retcon.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 19:19

Apollodorus: Feb 13, 2010; TEST YOUR MIGHT

bull3964 posted:

Before you get too excited. This wasn't a planned thing. This was Manny Coto making lemonade out of lemons. The Vulcan characterization was so poo poo for the first three seasons that he did a bit of a retcon.

Yeah when I finally got around to watching ENT S4 it became immediately clear that this was going on in the writer's room.

In retrospect it's really impressive how they managed to turn the show around in just one season and make me wish it hadn't been canceled, because watching S1-S2 of ENT made me skip S3-S4 when they originally aired.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 19:28

Zesty: Jan 17, 2012; The Great Twist

Pakled posted:

DS9 probably portrays Vulcans more negatively than ENT does. The only Vulcans I remember having any significant roles in DS9 were the serial killer with the transporting bullets and the rear end in a top hat Vulcan baseball team.

Don't forget the Maquis Vulcan who had to be schooled on logic by Quark.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 21:03

Name Change: Oct 9, 2005

Well Manicured Man posted:

Didn't kid Worf kill another kid in a soccer match?

See, we really all deserve a Worf show.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 21:06

The General: Mar 4, 2007

Pakled posted:

DS9 probably portrays Vulcans more negatively than ENT does. The only Vulcans I remember having any significant roles in DS9 were the serial killer with the transporting bullets and the rear end in a top hat Vulcan baseball team.

There was also the Vulcan who stole Nog's homework about ethics, because Vulcans have none.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 21:52

Gaz-L: Jan 28, 2009

The General posted:

There was also the Vulcan who stole Nog's homework about ethics, because Vulcans have none.

She hadn't done her homework, so it was only logical to avoid punishment by acquiring someone else's.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 22:26

FilthyImp: Sep 30, 2002; Anime Deviant

Trent posted:

Like the battle room from Ender's Game but with lacrosse sticks or something instead of laser guns.

There's like a pyramid and a ramp so it's probably a TeamFortress map with an Aztek ziggurat in the middle and a slide off to the sides and a Snitch flies out and you position yourself along the place to batter it with your ION MALLET and cause it to slide up a scorehoop but if you're athletic you can parkour your way up the side of the ramp and bat that bug offa the loving place.

BRB guys totally working on a Qpak/HLmod for this poo poo.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 22:34

Gorewar: Dec 24, 2004; Bang your head

Gammatron 64 posted:

Soccer still exists in Star Trek. Pretty sure basketball and hockey are still around, too. Baseball is extinct, though. It's really kind weird how big into baseball Sisko is when it died out before he was born. Spectator sports are an ongoing thing and the main appeal is watching a game while it's happening or close to it so you can root for a team. If the last game was a hundred years ago and you know who is going to win, that kind of takes the fun out of it.

I imagine that fantasy baseball would be interesting though, just plug in stats and have the holodeck generate a new game with bizarro teams that wouldn't have otherwise been able to exist.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 23:20

Big Mean Jerk: Jan 27, 2009; Well, of course I know him.
He's me.

"Computer, create a baseball team that includes the following people; Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner, Daryl Strawberry, Craig Biggio, Herman Goering, and Burgess Meredith."

# ? Aug 24, 2016 23:25

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

There are people today who rewatch Super Bowls and Stanley Cup playoffs. Why wouldn't someone watch an awesome World Series match on the holodeck?

# ? Aug 24, 2016 23:28

FilthyImp: Sep 30, 2002; Anime Deviant

Blade_of_tyshalle posted:

There are people today who rewatch Super Bowls and Stanley Cup playoffs. Why wouldn't someone watch an awesome World Series match on the holodeck?

When milimeter-wave scanners are at all public places, we can have a perfect holo-record of any event.

"Hey look man, if you zoom into this section at the right time index, you can see this tampon fall out while the bartended gets railed in the private luxuriobox"
:eyepop:

# ? Aug 24, 2016 23:37

TheBigAristotle: Feb 8, 2007; I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money.
I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.; Grimey Drawer

Powered Descent posted:

Humanity has progressed beyond petty things like soccer. Now they wear floor mats on their elbows and they... uh... hmm... come to think of it, they never actually explained what you DO in Parrises Squares. But I'm sure it's very enlightened and evolved, whatever it is.

Of all the goofy future-tech on Star Trek shows, those hard-case cylindrical gym bags always ticked me off the most. Data had one when packing up in The Measure of a Man. It just makes zero sense.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 23:44

Name Change: Oct 9, 2005

"We've digitally mapped the brains of all the players in this game for use in holodeck simulations. Let's see what happens when we arbitrarily change setting conditions..."

First you tweak historical games so that referees make the "right" calls. A few iterations later, Breaking Madden gets a lot more real and much scarier. A few iterations after that, we've inserted all the players' brains into orangutan bodies. Let's see what happens next!

# ? Aug 24, 2016 23:49

WickedHate: Aug 1, 2013; by Lowtax

OneThousandMonkeys posted:

"We've digitally mapped the brains of all the players in this game for use in holodeck simulations. Let's see what happens when we arbitrarily change setting conditions..."

First you tweak historical games so that referees make the "right" calls. A few iterations later, Breaking Madden gets a lot more real and much scarier. A few iterations after that, we've inserted all the players' brains into orangutan bodies. Let's see what happens next!

Well, that explains this.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 23:50

cenotaph: Mar 2, 2013

OneThousandMonkeys posted:

"We've digitally mapped the brains of all the players in this game for use in holodeck simulations. Let's see what happens when we arbitrarily change setting conditions..."

First you tweak historical games so that referees make the "right" calls. A few iterations later, Breaking Madden gets a lot more real and much scarier. A few iterations after that, we've inserted all the players' brains into orangutan bodies. Let's see what happens next!

An Air Bud holoprogram?

# ? Aug 25, 2016 00:00

twerking on the railroad: Jun 23, 2007; Get on my level

cenotaph posted:

An Air Bud holoprogram?

It sure wouldn't be depressing to see Lawrence Taylor break a dog's neck.

# ? Aug 25, 2016 00:32

Railing Kill: Nov 14, 2008; You are the first crack in the sheer face of god. From you it will spread.

Big Mean Jerk posted:

"Computer, create a baseball team that includes the following people; Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner, Daryl Strawberry, Craig Biggio, Herman Goering, and Burgess Meredith."

"Computer: create a baseball team with Sandy Koufax and Herman Goering as a battery. Randomize the rest of the players." *smiles smugly* "Yeah, this'll go real well."

# ? Aug 25, 2016 02:40

Sash!: Mar 16, 2001

It's all fun until you say computer end program and the holo Babe Ruth and holo Goering turn real, then team up because they have the same physique

# ? Aug 25, 2016 03:47

Timby: Dec 23, 2006; Your mother!

Cat Hatter posted:

But it was produced after Corbomite Maneuver and Where No Man Has Gone Before which were pretty good for the most part. I assume Man Trap was edited first though and that's where the roughness came from.

The Corbomite Maneuver, The Man Trap and one other episode (I forget which one -- Charlie X, maybe?) were screened for NBC executives, and they chose The Man Trap to be the "real" premiere of the show.

# ? Aug 25, 2016 04:07

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# ? May 10, 2024 18:44

CPColin: Sep 9, 2003; Big ol' smile.

I'm ashamed that it took until they said, "I'm sure you two will go on to many exciting adventures!" before I realized "Assignment: Earth" was a backdoor pilot.

# ? Aug 25, 2016 05:05

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > TV IV > Star Trek: *hits blunt* The higher, the fewerrrrrr

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