"Reminder that this is a thing that actually happened" MEGATHREAD

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > "Reminder that this is a thing that actually happened" MEGATHREAD

«‹›72 »

memba this This poll is closed.
goku	130	46.43%
goku	150	53.57%
Total:	190 votes

[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

Chichevache posted:

Uhhh... what?

Members of the Oakland police department had sex with the same underaged prostitute. It's still in the news- look up "Celeste Guap" (not her real name).

E;fb

# ? Aug 24, 2016 17:25

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 7, 2024 19:15

Hail Mr. Satan!: Oct 3, 2009; by zen death robot

I remember that. Also the MSM were posting pictures of her with low cut push up bras like LOOK AT THIS FOURTEEN YEAR OLD WHORE CORRUPTING OUR OFFICERS

# ? Aug 24, 2016 17:57

Mr. 47: Jul 8, 2008; Well, I guess I'll just go fuck myself, then.

The NFL Combine got NSFW when a player's penis came out during the 40-yard dash

In February, at the NFL Combine in Indianapolis, rookie Chris Jones' uniform tore and his dick fell out. My favorite part was the url of the article on SB Nation:

nfl-combine-chris-jones-penis-dick-wiener-balls

Mr. 47 has a new favorite as of 18:39 on Aug 24, 2016

# ? Aug 24, 2016 18:03

Mad Lupine: Feb 18, 2011; all the things you said
running through my head

FrankieGoes posted:

I know it's cool and edgy and hip to diss Nickelback but they're actually very talented and make good music.

gently caress you.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 19:48

Teriyaki Hairpiece: Dec 29, 2006; I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.

Nickleback has a song where they rhyme "sorry" with "story" which is the most Canadian poo poo ever and I can't believe it was actually a radio hit.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 20:28

Minimum Syntaxing: Oct 29, 2008; He looks white, but he's the son of a black man!

Mr. 47 posted:

nfl-combine-chris-jones-penis-dick-wiener-balls

Also that Google autofill Hillary conspiracy reminds me how some people were upset with Google's autofill suggestions a few years back.
i.e. you could type in something like "why are (insert race here) people so..." and get some typical things people would search for, but now any of the negative results are largely removed.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 20:28

Beastie: Nov 3, 2006; They used to call me tricky-kid, I lived the life they wish they did.

In case you missed it, but a 48 year old man pulled off a 900.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TnvPt_a7iOQ

# ? Aug 24, 2016 20:36

InediblePenguin: Sep 27, 2004; I'm strong. And a giant penguin. Please don't eat me. No, really. Don't try.

This weekend, HAARP's new owner will hold an open house to prove the facility 'is not capable of mind control�

# ? Aug 25, 2016 05:43

thinking_now_when: Apr 2, 2010

InediblePenguin posted:

This weekend, HAARP's new owner will hold an open house to prove the facility 'is not capable of mind control’

How do we know the HAARP isn't mind controlling him into saying that? Makes u think

# ? Aug 25, 2016 05:51

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

InediblePenguin posted:

This weekend, HAARP's new owner will hold an open house to prove the facility 'is not capable of mind control’

This is the opening to a bad sci-fi movie.

# ? Aug 25, 2016 06:24

Twerkteam Pizza: Sep 26, 2015; Grimey Drawer

Chichevache posted:

This is the opening to a bad sci-fi movie.

Pretend I posted your AV

# ? Aug 25, 2016 06:46

Friginator: May 13, 2014; by zen death robot

InediblePenguin posted:

This weekend, HAARP's new owner will hold an open house to prove the facility 'is not capable of mind control�

"Other features include an unmanned aircraft "petting zoo"" WTF is that?

# ? Aug 25, 2016 06:50

InediblePenguin: Sep 27, 2004; I'm strong. And a giant penguin. Please don't eat me. No, really. Don't try.

Friginator posted:

"Other features include an unmanned aircraft "petting zoo"" WTF is that?

cuddle a drone

# ? Aug 25, 2016 07:31

KomodoWagon: May 10, 2013; by R. Guyovich

A Fancy Bloke posted:

I remember that. Also the MSM were posting pictures of her with low cut push up bras like LOOK AT THIS FOURTEEN YEAR OLD WHORE CORRUPTING OUR OFFICERS

Well what else are you gonna do when our boys in blue are so clearly being abused and violated by such a disruptive person?

# ? Aug 25, 2016 07:34

Kly: Aug 8, 2003

hahaha holy poo poo what that guys custom title links to belongs in this thread

# ? Aug 25, 2016 07:47

Nckdictator: Sep 8, 2006; Just..someone

I like how the army took a look at a guy who seriously thought he was a velociraptor and saw nothing odd. I love the understatement in that New York Times headline.

http://mobile.nytimes.com/2008/11/21/us/21army.html?_r=0

quote:

Mental State of Soldier Questioned

By DAN FROSCH and LIZETTE ALVAREZ
NOVEMBER 20, 2008
COLORADO SPRINGS � A Fort Carson soldier and war veteran charged in the murder and sexual assault of a woman in Colorado last month faces accusations that he also raped a 14-year-old girl and sexually assaulted a third woman, an internal Army document states.

The document, the Commander�s Report on the suspect, Specialist Robert H. Marko, also raises serious questions about his mental state during his time at Fort Carson beginning in late 2006 and whether he should have deployed to Iraq in 2007.

It was common knowledge among his commanding officers and fellow soldiers, the document states, that Specialist Marko, who is being held without bond, believed he was an �alien dinosaur-like creature, and that he would transform from his human form into his Black Raptor form on his 21st birthday � 13 Oct 08.�

Specialist Marko, 21, is one of six soldiers from the Fourth Brigade Combat Team based in Fort Carson, Colo., who have been charged or convicted of murder in the past two years.

He is charged with raping and murdering Judilianna Lawrence, 19, a developmentally disabled woman he had met online. Specialist Marko admitted to the police that on Oct. 10, he took Ms. Lawrence to the mountains overlooking Colorado Springs, blindfolded and raped her, then slit her throat, according to the El Paso County Sheriff�s Office arrest affidavit. The affidavit also said that three days later � the day he believed he would transform into Black Raptor � Specialist Marko took the police to where he had left her body.

The slaying of Ms. Lawrence, a gentle woman who was sheltered by her family because of her severe attention-deficit disorder, led Senator Ken Salazar, Democrat of Colorado, to request an Army investigation into the Fort Carson soldiers who have been charged with murder.

Since Ms. Lawrence�s murder, two people have come forward to the authorities and accused Specialist Marko of rape or sexual assault, according to the Army document obtained by The New York Times. Both incidents prompted law enforcement investigations. The Army document is a synopsis of interviews with military personnel who knew Specialist Marko, family members and a psychiatrist, among others.

Five days before the death of Ms. Lawrence, Specialist Marko is said to have picked up a 14-year-old girl on the road who had fled a psychiatric hospital. The girl claims that a man matching the specialist�s description drove her to the mountains and raped her. Her description of the location �matches� the area where Ms. Lawrence was killed.

Another woman stated that in May, Specialist Marko �aggressively� tried to have sex with her in his barracks room. After a soldier knocked on the door, he stopped the assault, she said.

Specialist Marko, a mortarman, had a �history of behavioral health issues that predated his enlistment� in 2006, including alcohol abuse, according to the Army document. He also had Tourette�s syndrome, a neurological disorder, and speech and learning disabilities. He displayed an �extremely active imagination,� the document said.

He had no record of violence or bad conduct in the Army.

After joining the Army, his �unusual beliefs� in his Black Raptor alter-ego resulted in his being referred for psychiatric evaluations three times. Ultimately, the beliefs came to be viewed by his mental health evaluators as a religion, of sorts, like Wicca.

Specialist Robert H. Marko, charged in the murder of a Colorado woman, faces new accusations.
EL PASO COUNTY SHERIFF'S OFFICE
The first evaluation took place during basic training. The second was at Fort Carson in November 2006, before Specialist Marko was deployed to Iraq in February 2007, when he was flagged for �symptoms of mental illness.� A psychiatrist diagnosed a �schizotypal personality disorder,� which �may or may not result in some ultimate functional incapacity in the military.�

Nevertheless, the psychiatrist cleared Specialist Marko for duty �without limitations, scheduled no follow-ups� and declared him �deployable.�

His superiors in Iraq were unaware of the details of his evaluation and knew only that he had been cleared for duty.

Specialist Marko was assigned to the cavalry, served as a gunner in Baghdad and was viewed as a good soldier. He was generally reluctant to fire his weapon, had limited contact with the enemy and no �proclivity to violence,� the document said.

Upon his return home in December 2007, Specialist Marko was again flagged for a psychiatric evaluation, but he reported no mental problems and �was released without limitations.�

During his two years in the Army, Specialist Marko�s Black Raptor alter-ego was considered more a �source of humor than fear or concern� among his fellow soldiers, the document said.

It said that his alter-ego was an �amalgam� derived from books, movies and �computer-Internet-based role-playing video games,� which he began to develop as a child. Both parents were aware of his �delusions.�

His father told his commander that his son�s fascination with dinosaurs intensified at age 12 after he read the book, �Raptor Red,� written by a paleontologist. The book prompted ongoing nightmares, Specialist Marko told an Army health-care provider after his return from Iraq. Despite the alter-ego, his father told his commander that Specialist Marko could distinguish right from wrong, fantasy from reality.

He told his superiors that he had joined the Army to �get combat experience � something that he viewed as important to his Black Raptor identity.�

�His chain of command all shared concern over his mental state,� the document said. Their understanding from his evaluations, though, was that �Marko�s delusions represented an alternative belief structure � the equivalent of Wicca or some other alternative religion.�

Specialist Marko�s mental state did not interfere with his performance, nor is there evidence that his time in Iraq �contributed� to his condition, the report said. The Army document went on to say that �lacking a history of indiscipline or violent behavior, Spc. Marko was not considered a threat to himself or others until he was held under suspicion of murder on 11 Oct. 08.�

Specialist Marko�s MySpace page was replete with his dark impulses. �I�m becoming a true Black Raptor already,�� he wrote in his profile. �I�m becoming a cold-hearted killer and can kill without mercy or reason.�

Sounds sane to me

quote:

"I'm PFC Marko, Robert of the US Army, as of now i'm fighting for my country in Iraq. Also i'm Know as Rex290, that is who i was in my past life and will become someday and will fight to bring peace to all my people, the Black Raptors. If ur a single female ages 18 to 20 that can accept my belifes and not try to change them, then look me up kk. I also looking for any goth or emo females, same ages who are looking for a semi goth soldier, if u all hit me up, my contact links as follow. MSN: dragon_dragon290@hotmail.com Yahoo: dragon_dragon290 AIM: unitedspacecore add me if u wish to chat to me, all others leave me alone is that clear kk Comander Rex290 out"

# ? Aug 25, 2016 07:58

Volcott: Mar 30, 2010; People paying American dollars to let other people know they didn't agree with someone's position on something is the lifeblood of these forums.

I would absolutely pet a drone if given the opportunity.

# ? Aug 25, 2016 07:59

Rough Lobster: May 27, 2009; Don't be such a squid, bro

Godspeed You, Black Space Raptor

# ? Aug 25, 2016 08:13

Code Jockey: Jan 24, 2006; 69420 basic bytes free

Rough Lobster posted:

Godspeed You, Black Space Raptor

# ? Aug 25, 2016 08:19

buckets of buckets: Apr 8, 2012; CHECK OUT MY AWESOME POSTS
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3681373&pagenumber=114&perpage=40#post447051278

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3681373&pagenumber=91&perpage=40#post444280066

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3818944&pagenumber=196&perpage=40#post472627338

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3788178&pagenumber=405&perpage=40#post474195694

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3831643&pagenumber=5&perpage=40#post475694634

KomodoWagon posted:

Well what else are you gonna do when our boys in blue are so clearly being abused and violated by such a disruptive person?

lmao nice red text. Your posts suck mang

# ? Aug 25, 2016 08:20

KomodoWagon: May 10, 2013; by R. Guyovich

Nice meltdown

# ? Aug 25, 2016 08:26

Peanut Butler: Jul 25, 2003

KomodoWagon posted:

Nice meltdown

you know that words mean things right

can someone post the red title link for posterity/me on a tablet?

# ? Aug 25, 2016 10:08

KomodoWagon: May 10, 2013; by R. Guyovich

Christmas Present posted:

you know that words mean things right

can someone post the red title link for posterity/me on a tablet?

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3784021&userid=200309 yw

# ? Aug 25, 2016 10:16

Sex Falcon: Jun 4, 2013

A Fancy Bloke posted:

I remember that. Also the MSM were posting pictures of her with low cut push up bras like LOOK AT THIS FOURTEEN YEAR OLD WHORE CORRUPTING OUR OFFICERS

guap backwards = paug

case closed, gentlemen

# ? Aug 25, 2016 14:58

Morglon: Jan 13, 2010; Safe and sound, detached from reality.
Just like your posting.

Goons gave a racist hot dog man lots of money, he melted down lots of times but never melted the cheese.

# ? Aug 25, 2016 16:44

Toadvine: Mar 16, 2009; Please disregard my advice w/r/t history.

Convex posted:

BBC News mistook a cab driver for an technology expert and put him on live television.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhv9HJaA67c

Reminds me of when one of The Yes Men activists posed as a spokesman for Dow Chemical, accepting full responsibility for the Union Carbide Bhopal chemical explosion (3,800 dead, 120,000 afflicted) and pledging 12 billion (resulting from the liquidation of Union Carbide) to compensate the victims.

Dow denied in a press release, but still lost two billion dollars market share in the immediate aftermath

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiWlvBro9eI

# ? Aug 25, 2016 17:03

Autechresaint: Jan 25, 2012

Toadvine posted:

Reminds me of when one of The Yes Men activists posed as a spokesman for Dow Chemical, accepting full responsibility for the Union Carbide Bhopal chemical explosion (3,800 dead, 120,000 afflicted) and pledging 12 billion (resulting from the liquidation of Union Carbide) to compensate the victims.

Dow denied in a press release, but still lost two billion dollars market share in the immediate aftermath

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiWlvBro9eI

This is amazing..

# ? Aug 25, 2016 20:13

ate shit on live tv: Feb 15, 2004; by Azathoth

Toadvine posted:

Reminds me of when one of The Yes Men activists posed as a spokesman for Dow Chemical, accepting full responsibility for the Union Carbide Bhopal chemical explosion (3,800 dead, 120,000 afflicted) and pledging 12 billion (resulting from the liquidation of Union Carbide) to compensate the victims.

Dow denied in a press release, but still lost two billion dollars market share in the immediate aftermath

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiWlvBro9eI

Holy poo poo!

# ? Aug 25, 2016 21:06

FrankeeFrankFrank: Apr 21, 2005; Say word son.

Toadvine posted:

Reminds me of when one of The Yes Men activists posed as a spokesman for Dow Chemical, accepting full responsibility for the Union Carbide Bhopal chemical explosion (3,800 dead, 120,000 afflicted) and pledging 12 billion (resulting from the liquidation of Union Carbide) to compensate the victims.

Dow denied in a press release, but still lost two billion dollars market share in the immediate aftermath

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiWlvBro9eI

This is one of the greatest things I have ever seen. The people at Dow that caught this live had to have the biggest WTF? ever.

Did Dow sue the BBC or anything?

# ? Aug 25, 2016 21:43

Al Cowens: Aug 11, 2004; by WE B Bourgeois

Hugh Mungus

# ? Aug 25, 2016 21:51

Mad Lupine: Feb 18, 2011; all the things you said
running through my head

cheerfullydrab posted:

Nickleback has a song where they rhyme "sorry" with "story" which is the most Canadian poo poo ever and I can't believe it was actually a radio hit.

One of Canada's greatest embarrassments. I wish we could rescind their citizenships so we don't have to play them on the radio. Do they still play nickelback over in the US?

# ? Aug 25, 2016 22:32

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Autechresaint posted:

This is amazing..

The greatest thing to the Yes Men pranks were the corporate responses that would invariably be a variation on the same thing:

"How dare you claim we were going to support the victims of our own injustices, you are just getting their hopes up while we have no intention to honour your fake commitments"

Basically, their official statements would say that the Yes Men were right about everything, but gently caress it, we are not willing to recognize our corporate responsibility, and we are happy to let our victims know that they can eat a bag of dicks, because loving them over without ever considering their grievances is our honest and official policy,

# ? Aug 25, 2016 22:39

Necc0: Jun 30, 2005; by exmarx; Broken Cake

Toadvine posted:

Reminds me of when one of The Yes Men activists posed as a spokesman for Dow Chemical, accepting full responsibility for the Union Carbide Bhopal chemical explosion (3,800 dead, 120,000 afflicted) and pledging 12 billion (resulting from the liquidation of Union Carbide) to compensate the victims.

Dow denied in a press release, but still lost two billion dollars market share in the immediate aftermath

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiWlvBro9eI

Their other hijinks are real good too but none of them top this one.

# ? Aug 25, 2016 22:40

Necc0: Jun 30, 2005; by exmarx; Broken Cake

It's sort of ruined knowing that this was the same guys but it's still real good

https://sharethesafety.org

# ? Aug 25, 2016 22:43

frytechnician: Jan 8, 2004; Happy to see me?

So my friend texted me today to ask what a piece of music was on an olympic synchronised swimming section that happened recently (it was a slightly altered version of The Arrival Of The Birds Transformation) but that only kicked in halfway through. However, the intro was something that sounded familiar. See if you can guess what it is without reading the YouTube comments below:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oNyD6kd2NBc

# ? Aug 25, 2016 23:24

Pennywise the Frown: May 10, 2010; Upset Trowel

Fartmaster posted:

Also that Google autofill Hillary conspiracy reminds me how some people were upset with Google's autofill suggestions a few years back.
i.e. you could type in something like "why are (insert race here) people so..." and get some typical things people would search for, but now any of the negative results are largely removed.

They took down the one that was something like "george bush is" a reptilian alien.

:saddowns:

# ? Aug 26, 2016 00:03

nigga crab pollock: Mar 26, 2010; by Lowtax

# ? Aug 26, 2016 00:26

jenny jones fan: Dec 24, 2007

This was quite a few months ago but some people probably never even heard about a 13 year old girl in Texas who was extensively interrogated and investigated for 3rd degree felony counterfeiting because no one at her school or the cop who came to the school ever saw a 2 dollar bill before

# ? Aug 26, 2016 01:20

DrBouvenstein: Feb 28, 2007; I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

There was (still is?) a goon who legally changed his name to something like MegaDragonCool 2000 or something and defended it by saying all his friends, family, and co-workers totally agreed it was a cool name.

He looks exactly like you think he does.

# ? Aug 26, 2016 01:28

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 7, 2024 19:15

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

The counterfeit pen didn't work on it because it was old is why they thought it was fake, not because no one knew what a $2 bill was.

# ? Aug 26, 2016 01:28

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > "Reminder that this is a thing that actually happened" MEGATHREAD

«‹›72 »