|
One man taking absolute joy in the suffering of the American taxpayer. The good stuff starts at around :18
A Festivus Miracle has a new favorite as of 21:18 on Aug 25, 2016 |
# ? Aug 25, 2016 21:06 |
|
|
# ? May 14, 2024 01:14 |
SubponticatePoster posted:To put things in perspective, I live in Salt Lake, one of the most whitebread areas you can imagine. A few months ago I was leaving my house and there was a man wearing a full Santa outfit walking down the sidewalk singing (it was not December). When he saw me he stopped and told me to have a great day and said "you know I love you, right?" I said, "yeah man, love you too" and went on with my life. I see poo poo like that all the time. This couple would have apparently run away screaming. NYC would probably make these two literally poo poo themselves. Crazy people of all stripes wander anywhere and everywhere and you're bound to encounter at least 3 or 4 per day, even if you eventually start tuning them out until you don't notice. Street preachers, one-legged homeless guys, schizophrenics talking to themselves in a diner, etc. Once I saw a guy who just walked down 9th Avenue late at night smashing the glass in every payphone booth he passed by for no apparent reason. It's still a pretty safe city and has a surprisingly low crime rate. You just encounter weirdos everywhere. C.M. Kruger posted:In a separate post, he suggested that at least two of the people he lived with had got into a drunken brawl after one of them was stung by a bee. I dunno, I might shoot them too.
|
|
# ? Aug 25, 2016 21:13 |
|
chitoryu12 posted:NYC would probably make these two literally poo poo themselves. Crazy people of all stripes wander anywhere and everywhere and you're bound to encounter at least 3 or 4 per day, even if you eventually start tuning them out until you don't notice. Street preachers, one-legged homeless guys, schizophrenics talking to themselves in a diner, etc. Once I saw a guy who just walked down 9th Avenue late at night smashing the glass in every payphone booth he passed by for no apparent reason. Going to second this, even if it's almost a trite statement by this point. Heard a saying on SomethingAwful that I'm pretty sure was repurposed from somewhere: "You know that event, that one major thing--someone took a dump in the court hall, the schoolteacher was seen loving a student, that old lady plowed her car into the front of a house--that was the talk of the town for a year? Yeah in New York you'll run into an average of one of those a day."
|
# ? Aug 25, 2016 21:30 |
|
mostlygray posted:Whatever is faster than you are. Remember, this is a ridiculous person that participates in all such events. All that matters is that this ghost is always faster than you are, no matter how hard you push it or train, he always beats you to the next stop. You could be riding into a 40 mph headwind in the rain, or with the wind at your back and the sun at your face. Either way, he's always just ahead of you and looks like he's have the best day of his life with his stupid goddamn milk crate on the front of his bike. It's you. You're the goblin. I find your shallow opinion so distasteful that I'm taking time to write this and post it. Just bike. gently caress haters. Edit: My milk crate is on the back, in case you were wondering what my rig looks like.
|
# ? Aug 25, 2016 21:33 |
mind the walrus posted:Going to second this, even if it's almost a trite statement by this point. Heard a saying on SomethingAwful that I'm pretty sure was repurposed from somewhere: berlin is a little like this but on a much smaller scale (population 8.3m v 3.5m) and all the crazies tend to be the nice variety rather than the knife variety. i was stoned and having a pee in a park a couple months ago when somebody came along and stole it. i think if you're not used to this kind of stuff you'd probably freak out, but part of living in a big city is being able to determine malice or threat in strangers and react accordingly. these kids.. dont really seem to have that skill, or the desire to learn it e: one of my favourite stories from here is from my mate's sister. one of her female classmates came to a high school reunion and casually let slip that she'd fallen in love with a (female) donkey and they were now living together as a long term couple. i mean, it's hilarious, but there's no malice there - why get upset? Sulla Faex has a new favorite as of 21:40 on Aug 25, 2016 |
|
# ? Aug 25, 2016 21:38 |
|
They stole your pee?
|
# ? Aug 25, 2016 21:41 |
|
A pee thief and a human-donkey love affair. Are you sure you're not actually in a german porno?
|
# ? Aug 25, 2016 21:43 |
yeah, urophagia as a fetish isn't so uncommon here, most people know a guy who has been asked at a club if someone can drink their pee or whatever. it is what it is, it isn't hurting anybody, and i like that there's a safe and welcoming environment where they can let their inner freak fly in this instance i was quite stoned and this german bro came out of nowhere to duck a plastic cup under my pee stream. it would have been polite if he'd asked but what can you do except laugh. it's not like i needed it anymore
|
|
# ? Aug 25, 2016 21:45 |
|
Malice free pee theft
|
# ? Aug 25, 2016 21:45 |
|
I guess the schadenfreude is that America doesn't have a functional mental health system Here's some belated Olympics freude
|
# ? Aug 25, 2016 21:46 |
|
Sulla-Marius 88 posted:yeah, urophagia as a fetish isn't so uncommon here, most people know a guy who has been asked at a club if someone can drink their pee or whatever. it is what it is, it isn't hurting anybody, and i like that there's a safe and welcoming environment where they can let their inner freak fly Jesus christ I thought you left out a word or something, like while you were peeing someone stole your bike or something you put down. But someone... someone actually intercepted your pee in a cup and ran off with it. That's amazing. Also all of europe sort of smells like pee, at least the cities. When ever its a hot day and there's been some event and there's that pee roasting on concrete in the sun smell it always triggers memories of europe, which makes me happy. Smells are wierd.
|
# ? Aug 25, 2016 21:47 |
|
ekuNNN posted:I guess the schadenfreude is that America doesn't have a functional mental health system They're lucky it was a fire extinguisher and not something flammable.
|
# ? Aug 25, 2016 21:48 |
|
Sulla-Marius 88 posted:in this instance i was quite stoned and this german bro came out of nowhere to duck a plastic cup under my pee stream. it would have been polite if he'd asked but what can you do except laugh. it's not like i needed it anymore This is true city attitude. If you ain't ready to let some German dude steal your pee and laugh about it because you can tell he ain't trying to hurt you then you ain't ready for city life.
|
# ? Aug 25, 2016 21:48 |
Baronjutter posted:Jesus christ I thought you left out a word or something, like while you were peeing someone stole your bike or something you put down. But someone... someone actually intercepted your pee in a cup and ran off with it. That's amazing. yeah i really wish i spoke better german so i could have had a chat to him and see what it was about. he looked like a german version of the guy from the "Calvin Harris - Bounce" music video anyway here i basically consider it a rite of passage. you can't consider yourself a true berliner until you've crashed your bike, partied for 3 days straight, and had someone steal your pee e: and gone on hartz iv Sulla Faex has a new favorite as of 21:54 on Aug 25, 2016 |
|
# ? Aug 25, 2016 21:52 |
|
ekuNNN posted:I guess the schadenfreude is that America doesn't have a functional mental health system I used to work in a county psych ward. One time one of the pharmacy techs filled a drawer that was supposed to be for anti-anxiety medications with high blood pressure pills instead. Not quite sure how many days it was before they caught that error.
|
# ? Aug 25, 2016 21:55 |
|
Sulla-Marius 88 posted:i think if you're not used to this kind of stuff you'd probably freak out, but part of living in a big city is being able to determine malice or threat in strangers and react accordingly. these kids.. dont really seem to have that skill, or the desire to learn it Yep, that's basically it. The couple could have either completely ignored the guy or straight out told him off but instead they just kept giving the exact amount of attention to make him obsessively interested in them. Well, my weirdo story then: this dude who was probably a lot more drunk than crazy greeted me like an old friend, asked me when I was going to make that barbeque I promised, gave me $50 to go buy the beer and left. I didn't want the money but I knew better than following a guy like that to give his money back nerdz has a new favorite as of 22:01 on Aug 25, 2016 |
# ? Aug 25, 2016 21:56 |
|
ekuNNN posted:I guess the schadenfreude is that America doesn't have a functional mental health system Nah, Ronald Reagan shut that poo poo down as hard as he could. Closed everything in California during his governor years in the 60s, then went national with his whole "psychiatrists are communists" beliefs and killed the whole thing while he was President
|
# ? Aug 25, 2016 22:01 |
nerdz posted:Well, my weirdo story then: this dude who was probably a lot more drunk than crazy greeted me like an old friend, asked me when I was going to make that barbeque I promised, gave me $50 to go buy the beer and left. I didn't want the money but I knew better than following a guy like that to give his money back score! you spent that money on friends, right? windfalls like that are for sharing, it's bad karma to keep it for yourself unless you really need it. your story reminds me, i found 20 euros riding my bike a few weeks ago, spent it on beer and currywurst etc for my mates, then the next week i was checking my wallet and discovered i'd lost 25 euros. i was a bit pissed off then kind of went "well, fair enough, what goes around comes around - at least I've made some stranger's day." then 5 minutes later I realise I'd bought magic mushrooms that day and completely forgotten about them sometimes i think it'd be nice to spend some time in a smaller town and go at a slower pace, have time to really think about life and be more conscious of the day to day.. but then i'd miss out on all this amazing insanity
|
|
# ? Aug 25, 2016 22:03 |
|
I never thought it was a "city people thing" but people from the deepest suburbs have no idea how to interact with anyone outside of their very narrow race/class/religious circle, let alone legit crazy street people and manage to start poo poo with the easiest to ignore crazy people. Like they'll say all the wrong things, do everything to escalate the situation or draw attention to them selves. The very few times I've seen street people get a little scary on someone, it's always some dumpy suburban visitor who didn't know how to just avoid eye contact and say "sorry..." the moment a street person starts to engage you. Like they actually stop and listen to their whole "excuse me sorry I'm not a crazy street person and I'm not asking for money, I just want to make that clear, but you see my brother in law's cousin invited me here for a job that starts on monday but [10 min of rambling insane story later] which is why I'm going to walk with you to your bank and let you lend me $50" Then they start to actually try to argue or point out holes in the crazy street person's scam story. You don't loving engage, you just say "sorry" and keep walking the moment they even look at you. The only thing that enrages a crazy street person's long scam story more than ignoring them, is letting them waste 10 min telling the story and following you 3 blocks while they tell it is then saying no and calling them a bad person who is trying to do a scam. That's when they start screaming and going to plan B, intimidation. Just look straight ahead and make it very clear from your body language that you ain't got time for any bullshit and have places to be. That said sometimes encounters with violent crazies just can't be avoided, but it's super rare. My friend had a crazy homeless dude jump on her windshield while she was driving and scream at her to get out so he could murder her, then punched her window until his hand was bleeding then ran off threatening to murder everyone on the street. Like a week earlier 2 friends were walking down the street and a dude shouted "Hey friend of the family!!", they didn't even look since neither of them are black and you don't look when crazy street people are yelling poo poo. Suddenly the guy runs across the street shouting "gently caress YOU friend of the family!! I loving HATE YOU NIGGERS!!" and start punching and grappling the dude. Guy manages to throw him off and onto the ground at which point he runs away screaming about how there's too many niggers in this city. It rattled them a bit since it came out of nowhere, but by the afternoon they were already laughing about it and how absurd his racial-slur filled attack was.
|
# ? Aug 25, 2016 22:10 |
|
Baronjutter posted:I never thought it was a "city people thing" but people from the deepest suburbs have no idea how to interact with anyone outside of their very narrow race/class/religious circle, let alone legit crazy street people and manage to start poo poo with the easiest to ignore crazy people. Like they'll say all the wrong things, do everything to escalate the situation or draw attention to them selves. lol nice garbage city life, no thanks. why anyone wants to deal with that is beyond me.
|
# ? Aug 25, 2016 22:16 |
|
"the city life is just so real and authentic" he says as he gets pissed on and robbed by a hobo retard.
|
# ? Aug 25, 2016 22:19 |
It also depends on how dangerous they are. There's nothing wrong with getting to know someone acting a bit strange or on the fringes of society (the homeless, mentally ill, etc), so long as you're aware of your poo poo, able to recognise warning signs, and know how to take care of yourself. If they start getting a bit too intense you just smile and shake your head, apologise, and gently, politely, firmly move on. I was outside a club on Saturday and some guy who looked like he'd murdered Cheech and Chong for their gold teeth was trying to flog some drugs (god knows what they would have been like). I smile, say no thanks, he moves on. A bit later on he comes past and asks if I smoke weed, we share a joint, have a chat. He's from Libya and a bit of a space cadet, kind of funny but not dangerous in the least. A week before that me and some mates were walking past a homeless teenager who asks us for change, we say sorry and then go to get water from a corner store, on the way back we come and sit down and have a joint and a chat with him. If you freak out and say "no" to everything you're going to close yourself off from a lot of interesting things in life, which is bad, but if you also have no idea how to recognise threat/danger, you're also going to end up in a bad way. It's about being able to communicate with people outside your immediate socioeconomic and ideological context. e: A big part of it is also not being a maladjusted antisocial archetypal goon Sulla Faex has a new favorite as of 22:22 on Aug 25, 2016 |
|
# ? Aug 25, 2016 22:20 |
|
Sulla-Marius 88 posted:It also depends on how dangerous they are. There's nothing wrong with getting to know someone acting a bit strange or on the fringes of society (the homeless, mentally ill, etc), so long as you're aware of your poo poo, able to recognise warning signs, and know how to take care of yourself. If they start getting a bit too intense you just smile and shake your head, apologise, and gently, politely, firmly move on. I was outside a club on Saturday and some guy who looked like he'd murdered Cheech and Chong for their gold teeth was trying to flog some drugs (god knows what they would have been like). I smile, say no thanks, he moves on. A bit later on he comes past and asks if I smoke weed, we share a joint, have a chat. He's from Libya and a bit of a space cadet, kind of funny but not dangerous in the least. A week before that me and some mates were walking past a homeless teenager who asks us for change, we say sorry and then go to get water from a corner store, on the way back we come and sit down and have a joint and a chat with him. If you freak out and say "no" to everything you're going to close yourself off from a lot of interesting things in life, which is bad, but if you also have no idea how to recognise threat/danger, you're also going to end up in a bad way. It's about being able to communicate with people outside your immediate socioeconomic and ideological context. Also smoking weed apparently.
|
# ? Aug 25, 2016 22:34 |
haha well, it stands to reason, no? weed is for sharing
|
|
# ? Aug 25, 2016 22:38 |
mind the walrus posted:This is true city attitude. If you ain't ready to let some German dude steal your pee and laugh about it because you can tell he ain't trying to hurt you then you ain't ready for city life. One time in Ybor City I was at a concert for a gothic rock/techno artist I like, and he was telling us a story about the last time he was in Tampa and why he loves coming there. This is about as well as I can remember it. quote:I was sitting at the bus station and this old guy came up. He said to me "Hey man, whatcha doing?" and I told him that I'm an artist in town for a show. He said "Those are some nice shoes you've got there". And he just got down and grabbed my shoe and--
|
|
# ? Aug 25, 2016 22:42 |
|
FCKGW posted:"the city life is just so real and authentic" he says as he gets pissed on and robbed by a hobo retard. "Yeah, but all you scrubs in flyover country are missing out on the culture of the city" - a guy watching a pay per view UFC fight in a San Diego bar with $14 drinks
|
# ? Aug 25, 2016 22:51 |
|
Hmm there is a city that I should mention here that is both interesting and full of things to do but also not a poo poo hole. Can't think of it, may need some goons to help refresh my memory
|
# ? Aug 25, 2016 22:56 |
Jastiger posted:Hmm there is a city that I should mention here that is both interesting and full of things to do but also not a poo poo hole. Can't think of it, may need some goons to help refresh my memory phoenix
|
|
# ? Aug 25, 2016 22:56 |
|
Jastiger posted:Hmm there is a city that I should mention here that is both interesting and full of things to do but also not a poo poo hole. Can't think of it, may need some goons to help refresh my memory the city of Delete Your Account
|
# ? Aug 25, 2016 22:57 |
|
Jastiger posted:Hmm there is a city that I should mention here that is both interesting and full of things to do but also not a poo poo hole. Can't think of it, may need some goons to help refresh my memory Rio de Janeiro
|
# ? Aug 25, 2016 23:01 |
city of heroes
|
|
# ? Aug 25, 2016 23:04 |
|
chitoryu12 posted:One time in Ybor City I was at a concert for a gothic rock/techno artist I like, and he was telling us a story about the last time he was in Tampa and why he loves coming there. This is about as well as I can remember it. Yeah, I ran into that guy while I was doing laundry once in Seminole Heights. He said he wanted to see the treads on my shoes, and then licked them. He has a Facebook page. Somethiong like "tampa Shoe Licker", or something
|
# ? Aug 25, 2016 23:08 |
would you say your shoes were "tampa proof"
|
|
# ? Aug 25, 2016 23:09 |
|
I don't know why I googled tampa shoe licker but i regret it
|
# ? Aug 25, 2016 23:21 |
Sheltered suburban kids are more hayseeds than all the farm kids I grew up around. Most farm kids at least get taught how to be a goddamn adult and don't need mommy and daddy to swoop in and fix whatever minor problem comes up. Hell, I grew up in a town that's as lily-white as they come, and small enough that once gets learned to ride a bike, they could easily go the length and breath of the town in an afternoon and even my naive, 18 year old self could handle big cities better than those two idiots. What I guess I'm saying is that I know hayseeds and those hayseeds give all us hayseeds a bad name.
|
|
# ? Aug 25, 2016 23:28 |
|
Azathoth posted:Sheltered suburban kids are more hayseeds than all the farm kids I grew up around. Most farm kids at least get taught how to be a goddamn adult and don't need mommy and daddy to swoop in and fix whatever minor problem comes up. 100% Those kids screamed suburban harder than a Starbucks cup in an Escalade
|
# ? Aug 25, 2016 23:32 |
|
|
# ? Aug 25, 2016 23:37 |
chitoryu12 posted:NYC would probably make these two literally poo poo themselves. Crazy people of all stripes wander anywhere and everywhere and you're bound to encounter at least 3 or 4 per day, even if you eventually start tuning them out until you don't notice. Street preachers, one-legged homeless guys, schizophrenics talking to themselves in a diner, etc. Once I saw a guy who just walked down 9th Avenue late at night smashing the glass in every payphone booth he passed by for no apparent reason. Question, is the city worse now than it was say ten years ago? I've been here by daylight for like three years now and it seems perfectly fine, but a guy I know who's been here since like 1996 says it's like the Warriors now compared to how it was under Giuliani. I don't see it
|
|
# ? Aug 25, 2016 23:52 |
|
Azathoth posted:Sheltered suburban kids are more hayseeds than all the farm kids I grew up around. Most farm kids at least get taught how to be a goddamn adult and don't need mommy and daddy to swoop in and fix whatever minor problem comes up. True, most country people have seen the town drunk and have a crazy aunt Jackie. The suburbs would freak and call their SWAT team if they saw a filthy poor.
|
# ? Aug 25, 2016 23:55 |
|
|
# ? May 14, 2024 01:14 |
|
What piece of poo poo just kicks a little kid like that? Deserved that punch for sure
|
# ? Aug 26, 2016 00:16 |