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Chemmy
Feb 4, 2001

Teeter posted:

How do I keep my pasteurized cheese fresh longer? I typically like to have a block of cheddar, parmesan, and mozzarella on hand but am really lovely about keeping them fresh. Is there a good technique or product that helps?

I'd like to know how you don't eat these things. I keep them in ziploc bags in the fridge and they don't last long enough to go bad.

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Anne Whateley
Feb 11, 2007
:unsmith: i like nice words
My parmesan (grana padano, etc.) doesn't spoil or mold, but it does change from a hard cheese to a granite cheese.

dis astranagant
Dec 14, 2006

That Works posted:

gently caress I need to do this. Where do you get UHT cream in the US?

Most supermarkets, though it'll be in the refrigerated section. The opposite has been much harder to find here in Missouri.

Squashy Nipples
Aug 18, 2007

Temperature matters. My current fridge has a bottom freezer, so the meat and cheese drawer was getting too cold, and the cheese was partially freezing. Not bad for meats, but terrible for cheese.

Stuff is lasting longer and better since I moved the cheese to a new drawer.

Drink and Fight
Feb 2, 2003

That Works posted:

gently caress I need to do this. Where do you get UHT cream in the US?

Trader Joe's keeps UHT whipping cream in the baking section.

That Works
Jul 22, 2006

Every revolution evaporates and leaves behind only the slime of a new bureaucracy


Drink and Fight posted:

Trader Joe's keeps UHT whipping cream in the baking section.

Excellent. So many times I end up thinking a recipe needs just a few tbls of cream and the stuff I have has soured

FishBulb
Mar 29, 2003

Marge, I'd like to be alone with the sandwich for a moment.

Are you going to eat it?

...yes...

Drink and Fight posted:

Trader Joe's keeps UHT whipping cream in the baking section.

I saw that stuff and assumed it was like, powdered or something. Christ.

therattle
Jul 24, 2007
Soiled Meat
Sure, use UHT cream and milk in your baking if you don't mind using a disgusting corruption of the required ingredient. :colbert:

Test Pattern
Dec 20, 2007

Keep scrolling, clod!

Suspect Bucket posted:

I keep juice boxes of UHT heavy cream and 2% in the pantry and it owns for easy on-hand milk access when cooking.

I keep evaporated milk around for the same reason -- if I'm cooking it, the cooked taste UHT milk has is totally OK. Is the UHT cream in a tetrapak?

Suspect Bucket
Jan 15, 2012

SHRIMPDOR WAS A MAN
I mean, HE WAS A SHRIMP MAN
er, maybe also A DRAGON
or possibly
A MINOR LEAGUE BASEBALL TEAM
BUT HE WAS STILL
SHRIMPDOR

That Works posted:

gently caress I need to do this. Where do you get UHT cream in the US?

Publix has them. Trader Joe's too. Super handy. Horizon brand, red box with jumpy cartoon cow.

DekeThornton
Sep 2, 2011

Be friends!

therattle posted:

Sure, use UHT cream and milk in your baking if you don't mind using a disgusting corruption of the required ingredient. :colbert:

I really don't see what the problem would be with using UHT dairy in anything you heat up. UHT treatment is just high heat cooking. UHT milk, IMO, doesn't taste bad, it tastes like cooked milk. Now if I want a cold glass of milk I want it to taste like uncooked milk, but if I'm going to cook it then that doesn't really matter anyway.

1secondpersecond
Nov 12, 2008


On the topic of 'foods people seem to consider unsafe in the US', I'm looking for pork blood to make a batch of morcilla. Has anybody had any experience (or even better, success) looking for a place to buy food-grade blood, especially if it's in the greater Chicago area?

Flash Gordon Ramsay
Sep 28, 2004

Grimey Drawer

1secondpersecond posted:

On the topic of 'foods people seem to consider unsafe in the US', I'm looking for pork blood to make a batch of morcilla. Has anybody had any experience (or even better, success) looking for a place to buy food-grade blood, especially if it's in the greater Chicago area?

My local international mart stocks it. So try a well equipped Asian or international grocer.

Discendo Vox
Mar 21, 2013

We don't need to have that dialogue because it's obvious, trivial, and has already been had a thousand times.
I don't think USDA or FDA has any problems with blood food products- the normal HACCP stuff would apply, is all. It's in meats, after all.

SubG
Aug 19, 2004

It's a hard world for little things.
Actually if you're getting a bunch of blood in your meat you should find a better butcher. Properly butchered meat contains virtually no blood.

Steve Yun
Aug 7, 2003
I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.
Soiled Meat
The red liquid you see in your meats is not blood, it's myo-water
http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2014/10/25/myoglobin-red-meat.aspx

I have no idea about specific places that sell blood in Chicago, but in Los Angeles I had to call around to find a proper butcher, and had to ask for it ahead of time. This is how you get the freshest stuff.

Also, Asian groceries will have lots of them frozen in quart or pint containers, with some salt. Some will also have it in bricks at the meat counter, but this is congealed so that the Viets can use it like a meaty tofu substitute in their soups, probably not ideal for use in morcilla.

Steve Yun fucked around with this message at 02:07 on Aug 26, 2016

bongwizzard
May 19, 2005

Then one day I meet a man,
He came to me and said,
"Hard work good and hard work fine,
but first take care of head"
Grimey Drawer
What was that jerky company goons were all nuts about maybe 3-4 years ago? It was some internet place that sold jerky that had a lot of fat in it.

Croatoan
Jun 24, 2005

I am inevitable.
ROBBLE GROBBLE

bongwizzard posted:

What was that jerky company goons were all nuts about maybe 3-4 years ago? It was some internet place that sold jerky that had a lot of fat in it.

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=1457686

Hutla
Jun 5, 2004

It's mechanical

1secondpersecond posted:

On the topic of 'foods people seem to consider unsafe in the US', I'm looking for pork blood to make a batch of morcilla. Has anybody had any experience (or even better, success) looking for a place to buy food-grade blood, especially if it's in the greater Chicago area?

I've definitely seen tubs of various bloods at the Fresh Farms on Touhy in Skokie. They also have an entire deli case full of various brined feta cheeses.

Mr. Wiggles
Dec 1, 2003

We are all drinking from the highball glass of ideology.
My local carneceria has blood in several varieties. I guarantee you have the same in Chicago.

1secondpersecond
Nov 12, 2008


Mr. Wiggles posted:

My local carneceria has blood in several varieties. I guarantee you have the same in Chicago.

This or frozen from an Asian grocery is probably going to end up being my best bet. Most of the butcher shops in my area are butcher/deli combo places that sell no offal whatsoever.

bongwizzard
May 19, 2005

Then one day I meet a man,
He came to me and said,
"Hard work good and hard work fine,
but first take care of head"
Grimey Drawer

poo poo. That is what I thought it was, so I ordered some. It it bullshit, dry, dull flavors, and too salty. I had hopped I had misremembered.

Anyone got a different online jerky place they like?

therattle
Jul 24, 2007
Soiled Meat

DekeThornton posted:

I really don't see what the problem would be with using UHT dairy in anything you heat up. UHT treatment is just high heat cooking. UHT milk, IMO, doesn't taste bad, it tastes like cooked milk. Now if I want a cold glass of milk I want it to taste like uncooked milk, but if I'm going to cook it then that doesn't really matter anyway.

Please don't use logic to counter my hyperbole. It makes baby Jesus cry.

battlemonk
Dec 10, 2008

1secondpersecond posted:

This or frozen from an Asian grocery is probably going to end up being my best bet. Most of the butcher shops in my area are butcher/deli combo places that sell no offal whatsoever.

Find a place that does actual slaughter, and you'll have access to whatever you want. Look just outside the Chicagoland area for some independent processors (Here in Michigan, there's a couple places that any farmer can bring their livestock to for inspected/approved slaughter and processing, and even grading at a fee.)

Or make friends with a farmer who has hogs that go to slaughter and have them retain the blood for you.

It's all about making the right friends. Maybe I'm able to say that because I made some good friends down in the meat packing district.

mich
Feb 28, 2003
I may be racist but I'm the good kind of racist! You better put down those chopsticks, you HITLER!

bongwizzard posted:

poo poo. That is what I thought it was, so I ordered some. It it bullshit, dry, dull flavors, and too salty. I had hopped I had misremembered.

Anyone got a different online jerky place they like?

http://vuakhobo.us/

I'm not sure how well their online ordering process works, I asked about it when I was shopping there in person and they said I should call instead. So it's not super convenient to order but it is really good.

Steve Yun
Aug 7, 2003
I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.
Soiled Meat

mich posted:

http://vuakhobo.us/

I'm not sure how well their online ordering process works, I asked about it when I was shopping there in person and they said I should call instead. So it's not super convenient to order but it is really good.

On mich's recommendation a couple weeks ago I went to one of their locations which is one of those boutiques-within-a-chinese-grocery deals. Their jerky is indeed delicious with great chew and you have a wide variety (something like 3 or 4 dozen types) to choose from. Beef! Pork! Squid! Spicy curry! Soy sauce! Teriyaki! Sweet! etc etc.

Steve Yun fucked around with this message at 21:50 on Aug 26, 2016

bongwizzard
May 19, 2005

Then one day I meet a man,
He came to me and said,
"Hard work good and hard work fine,
but first take care of head"
Grimey Drawer

mich posted:

http://vuakhobo.us/

I'm not sure how well their online ordering process works, I asked about it when I was shopping there in person and they said I should call instead. So it's not super convenient to order but it is really good.

That is some weird looking jerky and I am mistrustful as that stuff looks dry as hell.

mindphlux
Jan 8, 2004

by R. Guyovich
honestly just make your own jerky. all jerky is super marked up bullshit really. and jerky making is super easy.

get some relatively low fat beef cuts, cut them up into strips, marinate them for a few hours in some mixture of soy sauce and spices (or something about as salty as soysauce), and air dry. done. adjust marinating time and seasoning to your preference.

I have only made jerky a handful of times, but I have dried by draping meat over the wire racks in my oven (with a drip pan of course) at low heat - like 150 or something - for a couple hours. you can sorta tell when its done - you'll know.

mindphlux
Jan 8, 2004

by R. Guyovich
and if you want to get super effort about it, you can freeze and slice your meat into flat strips, pound it out, whatever your preference

Croatoan
Jun 24, 2005

I am inevitable.
ROBBLE GROBBLE

bongwizzard posted:

That is some weird looking jerky and I am mistrustful as that stuff looks dry as hell.

Dude i don't know what you're looking for as in dryness. I love Big John's and you thought it was dry however I've had a bag get moldy after 2 weeks in an office drawer because moisture so he tries to keep it as low as he can without making it last only a few days.

Discendo Vox
Mar 21, 2013

We don't need to have that dialogue because it's obvious, trivial, and has already been had a thousand times.

Steve Yun posted:

The red liquid you see in your meats is not blood, it's myo-water
http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2014/10/25/myoglobin-red-meat.aspx

NOOOOO

bongwizzard
May 19, 2005

Then one day I meet a man,
He came to me and said,
"Hard work good and hard work fine,
but first take care of head"
Grimey Drawer

Croatoan posted:

Dude i don't know what you're looking for as in dryness. I love Big John's and you thought it was dry however I've had a bag get moldy after 2 weeks in an office drawer because moisture so he tries to keep it as low as he can without making it last only a few days.

I think I just want more fat maybe? My gf has started buying jerky from whole foods and while it is expensive as poo poo, it is really excellent and I am going through a jerky renaissance and wanted to buy some in bulk to portion out and freeze.

Discendo Vox
Mar 21, 2013

We don't need to have that dialogue because it's obvious, trivial, and has already been had a thousand times.

bartolimu posted:

3. As a way of defusing the situation you've gotten yourself into without admitting guilt, you may purchase and consume, on camera, no less than one kilogram of unpasteurized cheese. Since you're in the US this is completely safe; we don't get the good stuff. But at least it will support the good cheese producers you've been maligning so energetically.

Eating now. I got:

Parmesano Reggiano (QTRS, Italy)
Societe Rocquefort (France)
Buttermilk Gorgonzola (Roth, Wisconsin)
Asiago (Belgioioso, Wisconsin)

All are unpasteurized. Pictures to follow.

edit: woof, one down. I feel unwell.

Discendo Vox fucked around with this message at 01:45 on Aug 28, 2016

Drink and Fight
Feb 2, 2003

Discendo Vox posted:

Eating now. I got:

Parmesano Reggiano (QTRS, Italy)
Societe Rocquefort (France)
Buttermilk Gorgonzola (Roth, Wisconsin)
Asiago (Belgioioso, Wisconsin)

All are unpasteurized. Pictures to follow.

edit: woof, one down. I feel unwell.

Are you just shoving cheese into your maw? I don't think he meant you have to eat it all at once.

That Works
Jul 22, 2006

Every revolution evaporates and leaves behind only the slime of a new bureaucracy


Drink and Fight posted:

Are you just shoving cheese into your maw? I don't think he meant you have to eat it all at once.

I mean, if you had some crackers...

Drink and Fight
Feb 2, 2003

That Works posted:

I mean, if you had some crackers...

I'm not sure I could eat 1kg of anything at once (except maybe nachos) but that man is not gonna poop for a week.

Discendo Vox
Mar 21, 2013

We don't need to have that dialogue because it's obvious, trivial, and has already been had a thousand times.

Drink and Fight posted:

Are you just shoving cheese into your maw? I don't think he meant you have to eat it all at once.

Oh good christ, please tell me I don't have to eat this all at once. I am 3/4ths through this block of asiago and I think I may die. Is Parmesano Reggiano supposed to be eaten without being further altered? It's horrible in anything above minute quantities, crunchy, impossibly thick, nigh-tasteless...Kraft did it better. This is, like, something Umbridge would feed to Harry during detention. The Asiago would be bearable if there weren't .75 lbs of the stuff.

Discendo Vox fucked around with this message at 02:01 on Aug 28, 2016

FishBulb
Mar 29, 2003

Marge, I'd like to be alone with the sandwich for a moment.

Are you going to eat it?

...yes...
You aren't just supposed to eat it like an apple

Discendo Vox
Mar 21, 2013

We don't need to have that dialogue because it's obvious, trivial, and has already been had a thousand times.

That Works posted:

I mean, if you had some crackers...

I have crackers, they didn't really help.

FishBulb posted:

You aren't just supposed to eat it like an apple

The mod challenge made it sound like I was. I had a whole schtick planned with cheez-its and Kraft spread and parmesan in a tube, but that fell by the wayside around halfway through the parm.

vvvv I don't drink.

Discendo Vox fucked around with this message at 02:26 on Aug 28, 2016

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The Maestro
Feb 21, 2006
What you need is wine

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