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H.H
Oct 24, 2006

August is the Cruelest Month

A Strange Aeon posted:

What country are you in? If Canada, I would love to see Leonard Cohen on a piece of currency.

Yeah, I'm Israeli.

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yeah I eat ass
Mar 14, 2005

only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar

loquacius posted:

I thought the poo poo on the Euro was stuff like famous buildings or whatever because every European historical figure is loved by half of Europe and hated by the other half. Does Germany actually still use its own national currency? I thought they were like the face of the EU.

They've got the Euro and I just checked mine and there are no faces, just buildings. I know the Swiss have both people and other stuff like buildings or whatever though and also their 20 franc bill is bright pink.

Hopper
Dec 28, 2004

BOOING! BOOING!
Grimey Drawer
Haha, see, told you I had no idea what was on them either. The only bills I handled lately were foreign money (pounds, kronor, dollars) so I completely forgot Euro bills don't have faces on them any more.
I do know the design of my credit cards and EC cards though.

bunnyofdoom
Mar 29, 2008

I've been here the whole time, and you're not my real Dad! :emo:
Man I keep trying to make Borden's a thing like Benjamin ' but it's only 76% as effective

Bored As Fuck
Jan 1, 2006
Be prepared
Fun Shoe

H.H posted:

Yeah, I'm Israeli.

Salam aleikum






sup fellow Chosen One

H.H
Oct 24, 2006

August is the Cruelest Month

quote:

I was married when I was very young, to someone that cheated on me constantly. Eventually after I found out (deep down I think I always could tell) we got a divorce. Several relationships later, being cheated on time and time again, I became so paranoid that I just stopped caring.

Now, I cheat. It gives me some kind of control or power to do so preemptively, to not be the one that gets hurt in the relationship.

I cheat with most every girl I've had anything serious with. During the worst bout of it, I went complete scumbag mode and moved in with my then-girlfriend while unemployed. She worked her lovely barista job and I would go on Tinder, OKC, POF. I hosed about four or five different girls from these apps, some of them multiple times. I had also started anti-anxiety meds, so I had a hard time getting off. Only 2 of them actually resembled their profile pictures, and the sex was horrible. But I couldn't stop.

I swore off of doing it anymore, but as luck would have it I received a random text from a girl I talked to on OKC from another state. Originally it was harmless flirting and she'd send me occasional sexts and nudes. Being a state away I never really thought I would meet her, but she randomly agreed to come to my city and "see me." Which wound up being code for 'gently caress for two days straight'. She was, and still is, one of the hottest girls I have ever hosed. It was absolutely depraved and she told me "I love you" within the first five minutes of going at it. I said it back, because, well, I was loving her and I didn't want to stop.

And part of me did want her to love me and to love her back. Well, like a complete idiot I was convinced we were going to be together and have a relationship eventually. We even talked about moving. I told her the girlfriend I lived with was a lesbian, just a friend/room-mate. Not a surprise, she (the sidechick) was a huge slut. About as bad as me. Neither of them found out about each other but things didn't work out. That caused me to start a fight with my main-girlfriend (probably out of guilt) which got me kicked out.

Afterwards I was Feeling particularly depressed and horny. So here's another one for my highlight reel. I went back on tinder and caught this cute blonde that kept matching me the various other times I used the app, but would never respond. This time, I heard back from her and we started texting. I looked her up on facebook via her number and found out she was married, cheating on her husband. I didn't quite threaten her, but I certainly implied that I would tell her husband if she didn't gently caress me.

It actually turned her on.

Sure enough she started sexting me from her workplace, sneaking in to the bathroom and flashing me her tits. She invited me over while her husband was away and we did the deed. The two of them were recently married and had just had a child together, which I found out when she started feeding me breastmilk while she rode me. She also gave me a footrub while she gave me head, which kind of made up for it.

She wanted to mess around with her again, but guilt got the best of me and I blocked her number.

None of this has stopped me. Currently I've been dating someone who I can finally trust not to cheat on me, but I still can't help myself. I found an app for people with the chronic disease that I have, and started talking to this cute muslim girl. Here's the thing, she actually lives in loving Iran. That was part of the appeal. That she lived so far away, just flirting would be mostly harmless, right?

Well... Her English is terrible and we have nothing to talk about besides having an autoimmune disorder. But I still got to flirt with her and she asked for a dick pic, which took me by surprise. I asked for her nudes, and she told me her religion forbids it. What the gently caress?! I berated her until she sent me some, and then she left me filthy voicemails. They were underwhelming but I did like her accent.

I'm barely interested in talking to her anymore, but she tells me she loves me everyday. She's convinced that we are going to get married and I will move to Iran, or that she will move to the States. I feel terrible for lying (I'm kind of in the process of ghosting her) but I never have told her it's not going to happen.

I also started seeing some cute young farmgirl who is a virgin and basically looking to lose it. I still have the main girlfriend and want to end it, but haven't done so yet. We've been on 3 dates and I might go camping with her this weekend and will probably take care of her 'issue.'

In general I am just a scumbag. The hosed up thing is the guilt is hardly there. It comes in bursts, here and there. I know its wrong. But I'm kind of proud of myself.

quote:

I have been a member of SA since 2006 and have never made one post.

H.H
Oct 24, 2006

August is the Cruelest Month
To the second confessor: :justpost:

That's all there is to it. I'm sure you're not worse than Vendagoat, Moridin et al.

Rupert Buttermilk
Apr 15, 2007

🚣RowboatMan: ❄️Freezing time🕰️ is an old P.I. 🥧trick...

Isn't it virtually impossible, if not incredibly difficult, to find someone on these forums if they haven't posted?

Meanwhile, I post too much :negative:

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

Slutgoon, my response to reading your confession wasn't "wow this guy is a horrible person" but "wow this guy is all sorts of hosed-up." You sound miserable honestly. If I were you I'd stop dating anyone for a while, get some me-time. And :therapy: obv

Lurker goon, seconding H.H here. I was pretty scared of getting dogpiled and banned over every post I made for a while, but if I managed to post here for 8 years and not get banned or probated for more than 3 days a single time I'm sure you'll probably do fine.

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.

quote:

I have been a member of SA since 2006 and have never made one post.

:regd06: Get the hell out new blood!

Count Thrashula
Jun 1, 2003

Death is nothing compared to vindication.
Buglord

Solice Kirsk posted:

:regd06: Get the hell out new blood!

oh please

bradzilla
Oct 15, 2004

H.H posted:

I have been a member of SA since 2006 and have never made one post.

goons might be mean to me :qq:

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Rupert Buttermilk posted:

Isn't it virtually impossible, if not incredibly difficult, to find someone on these forums if they haven't posted?

Meanwhile, I post too much :negative:

The latest academic journals show that I don't post enough.

Bonzo
Mar 11, 2004

Just like Mama used to make it!
Cheating Goon. I have never seen a relationship last that started out where one or both parties were cheating.

Also lol at saying or being told "I Love You" on a first date.

timp
Sep 19, 2007

Everything is in my control
Lipstick Apathy
One of my biggest regrets is not regging back when I first discovered SA in 2001

I seriously debated making that anonymous

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

timp posted:

One of my biggest regrets is not regging back when I first discovered SA in 2001

I seriously debated making that anonymous

I was a front-page-only reader for quite a while

What finally got me to reg was a Harvest Moon Let's Play

see now THAT should have been anonymous

Bonzo
Mar 11, 2004

Just like Mama used to make it!

timp posted:

One of my biggest regrets is not regging back when I first discovered SA in 2001

I seriously debated making that anonymous

same here. I think I found out about this place from Fark but didn't sign up until I started working from home years later.

William Henry Hairytaint
Oct 29, 2011



Don't be afraid non-posting goon, at the end of the day it's just an internet forum.

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

Frog Assassin posted:

Don't be afraid non-posting goon, at the end of the day it's just an internet forum.



agreed i have far too many posts on these forums

how me a frog
Feb 6, 2014
As a first timer to this kind of thread, reading only the actual confessions, is there a logical reasons the OP includes poo poo that could not possibly be true, not now, not ever , not in a million years? I get the motivation in principle, what with not discounting something that seems unlikely but might be true, but there are some confessions that claim someone was a CIA space cadet in the intergalactic UFO sex wars and including that kind of crap does somewhat suggest that in fact all if this is bullshit, perhaps a "creative" writing exercise.

edit: Also voted 1 because thread sucks

Holyshoot
May 6, 2010

how me a frog posted:

As a first timer to this kind of thread, reading only the actual confessions, is there a logical reasons the OP includes poo poo that could not possibly be true, not now, not ever , not in a million years? I get the motivation in principle, what with not discounting something that seems unlikely but might be true, but there are some confessions that claim someone was a CIA space cadet in the intergalactic UFO sex wars and including that kind of crap does somewhat suggest that in fact all if this is bullshit, perhaps a "creative" writing exercise.

edit: Also voted 1 because thread sucks

Sometimes they are entertaining.

Zorodius
Feb 11, 2007

EA GAMES' MASTERPIECE 'MADDEN 2018 G.O.A.T. EDITION' IS A GLORIOUS TRIUMPH OF ART AND TECHNOLOGY. IT BRINGS GAMEDAY RIGHT TO THE PLAYER AND WHOEVER SAYS OTHERWISE CAN, YOU GUESSED IT...
SUCK THE SHIT STRAIGHT OUT OF MY OWN ASSHOLE.

BUY IT.

how me a frog posted:

As a first timer to this kind of thread, reading only the actual confessions, is there a logical reasons the OP includes poo poo that could not possibly be true, not now, not ever , not in a million years? I get the motivation in principle, what with not discounting something that seems unlikely but might be true, but there are some confessions that claim someone was a CIA space cadet in the intergalactic UFO sex wars and including that kind of crap does somewhat suggest that in fact all if this is bullshit, perhaps a "creative" writing exercise.

edit: Also voted 1 because thread sucks

I 100% believe that Donald Trump shits his pants, regardless of whether that confession was true or not

how me a frog
Feb 6, 2014

Holyshoot posted:

Sometimes they are entertaining.

Quote your sources. I read all of them. Not one of them was entertaining.

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

Any confession posted could be made up, really, so there isn't much point in hemming and hawing over it. We could make a thread rule that no confessions that are literally physically impossible are allowed, but this wouldn't really accomplish much since we don't have a guarantee of truth to any of the plausible ones anyway and the supernatural ones are fun to read sometimes. The ones about the battlefield ghost and the poster going to Jacob's Ladder Hell for murdering his disabled brother were absolutely and definitely works of fiction and I still enjoyed myself reading them. :shrug:

e:

how me a frog posted:

Quote your sources. I read all of them. Not one of them was entertaining.

I think I figured out what your problem is

mbt
Aug 13, 2012

how me a frog posted:

As a first timer to this kind of thread, reading only the actual confessions, is there a logical reasons the OP includes poo poo that could not possibly be true, not now, not ever , not in a million years? I get the motivation in principle, what with not discounting something that seems unlikely but might be true, but there are some confessions that claim someone was a CIA space cadet in the intergalactic UFO sex wars and including that kind of crap does somewhat suggest that in fact all if this is bullshit, perhaps a "creative" writing exercise.

edit: Also voted 1 because thread sucks

humor or comedy funny lols pelease leave ghread

TehRedWheelbarrow
Mar 16, 2011



Fan of Britches

how me a frog posted:

As a first timer to this kind of thread, reading only the actual confessions, is there a logical reasons the OP includes poo poo that could not possibly be true, not now, not ever , not in a million years? I get the motivation in principle, what with not discounting something that seems unlikely but might be true, but there are some confessions that claim someone was a CIA space cadet in the intergalactic UFO sex wars and including that kind of crap does somewhat suggest that in fact all if this is bullshit, perhaps a "creative" writing exercise.

edit: Also voted 1 because thread sucks

I want to agree with a frogfellow but no.. I cant. :gary::wrong::yarg:

buckets of buckets
Apr 8, 2012

CHECK OUT MY AWESOME POSTS
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3681373&pagenumber=114&perpage=40#post447051278

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3681373&pagenumber=91&perpage=40#post444280066

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3818944&pagenumber=196&perpage=40#post472627338

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3788178&pagenumber=405&perpage=40#post474195694

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3831643&pagenumber=5&perpage=40#post475694634
Can you prove there isn't a secret government project that flies UFO type aircraft to spook the populace? Yeah I didn't think so fuckface

You won't be laughing in 4 years when the newly formed anti-alien party rules the free world

how me a frog
Feb 6, 2014

SneakyFrog posted:

I want to agree with a frogfellow but no.. I cant. :gary::wrong::yarg:

You were such a good frogfellow in the niceguy thread which has also gone to the dogs. Ah well. :(

William Henry Hairytaint
Oct 29, 2011



It's up to the collective to decide what's true and isn't, not the people who are curating the confessions. You say it's impossible for somebody to be an extra-galactic crimefighter who hides on Earth in between destroying supervillains and plowing alien superbabes, and I say maybe you just spend too much time in front of a computer, nerd.

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

Bitter Mushroom posted:

Can you prove there isn't a secret government project that flies UFO type aircraft to spook the populace? Yeah I didn't think so fuckface

You won't be laughing in 4 years when the newly formed anti-alien party rules the free world

They already do :smug:

in that the entire planet is under alien control and so "the free world" consists of my studio apartment

buckets of buckets
Apr 8, 2012

CHECK OUT MY AWESOME POSTS
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3681373&pagenumber=114&perpage=40#post447051278

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3681373&pagenumber=91&perpage=40#post444280066

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3818944&pagenumber=196&perpage=40#post472627338

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3788178&pagenumber=405&perpage=40#post474195694

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3831643&pagenumber=5&perpage=40#post475694634
nice. studio. I bet you have running water too you rich bastard

Captain Yossarian
Feb 24, 2011

All new" Rings of Fire"

Frog Assassin posted:

Don't be afraid non-posting goon, at the end of the day it's just an internet forum.



This post really makes me think you know? Sometimes you're the Krusty, sometimes you the meat on the grill...

Nissin Cup Nudist
Sep 3, 2011

Sleep with one eye open

We're off to Gritty Gritty land




Ive been posting for five years and still don't understand image leeching

Captain Yossarian
Feb 24, 2011

All new" Rings of Fire"

DOOP posted:

Ive been posting for five years and still don't understand image leeching

Namaste

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

DOOP posted:

Ive been posting for five years and still don't understand image leeching

Bandwidth was a Big loving Deal like fifteen years ago

It's a moot point these days since throwing poo poo up on Imgur takes like two seconds and ensures that the image will never break based on the whims of whoever owns the site you got it from, and I don't think mods enforce the rule anymore anyway

Slowpoke
Jul 7, 2007

Also, someone drew a sweet Slowpoke that I wanted to buy for an av but lost the image. I think the thread was people drawing Pokemon? I guess? I don't know. If someone could help find it I would love to buy it. Thanks.

H.H posted:

To the second confessor: :justpost:

That's all there is to it. I'm sure you're not worse than Vendagoat, Moridin et al.

Gotta agree with H.H. here. I waited nine years until my first post. It was garbage just like all of the ones to follow it. In conclusion: :justpost:

Putty
Mar 21, 2013

HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS
2006 guy if you post your first post in this thread within 24 hours i will give you an avatar

TehRedWheelbarrow
Mar 16, 2011



Fan of Britches

how me a frog posted:

You were such a good frogfellow in the niceguy thread which has also gone to the dogs. Ah well. :(

wait did you just call me a nice guy? :smithfrog:

A Strange Aeon
Mar 26, 2010

You are now a slimy little toad
The Great Twist

Putty posted:

2006 guy if you post your first post in this thread within 24 hours i will give you an avatar

This is super generous, you should take Putty up on his offer!

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Zorodius
Feb 11, 2007

EA GAMES' MASTERPIECE 'MADDEN 2018 G.O.A.T. EDITION' IS A GLORIOUS TRIUMPH OF ART AND TECHNOLOGY. IT BRINGS GAMEDAY RIGHT TO THE PLAYER AND WHOEVER SAYS OTHERWISE CAN, YOU GUESSED IT...
SUCK THE SHIT STRAIGHT OUT OF MY OWN ASSHOLE.

BUY IT.

Putty posted:

2006 guy if you post your first post in this thread within 24 hours i will give you an avatar

same but handjob

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