More shit that pisses you off: What does that say about the quality of your emails?

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > More shit that pisses you off: What does that say about the quality of your emails?

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Nuclearmonkee: Jun 10, 2009

The Fool posted:

I didn't know it off the top of my head, but was able to figure it out in under 30 seconds with my phones calculator.

Start from /24 and divide by two twice of you don't know it off the top of your head. So 256, 128, 64 hosts. Just start from the nearest full octet and you can generally figure it out without a calculator if you care to.

Then subtract from 256 if you have to write it out long form for someone who can't read cidr notation like senior engineers at large companies.

# ? Sep 1, 2016 01:57

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# ? May 27, 2024 07:53

anthonypants: May 6, 2007; by Nyc_Tattoo; Dinosaur Gum

Nuclearmonkee posted:

Start from /24 and divide by two twice of you don't know it off the top of your head. So 256, 128, 64 hosts. Just start from the nearest full octet and you can generally figure it out without a calculator if you care to.

Then subtract from 256 if you have to write it out long form for someone who can't read cidr notation like senior engineers at large companies.

Yeah, this. The part of CIDR addressing that's more difficult is being given an address and a netmask and finding out what the range of addresses in that subnet is.

# ? Sep 1, 2016 02:07

xzzy: Mar 5, 2009

I just google for an ip calculator when I need to know the first/last ip because that's what the internet is for, saving me from thinking.

# ? Sep 1, 2016 02:13

wolrah: May 8, 2006; what?

Nuclearmonkee posted:

Hopefully he at least has an underling who is slightly less retarded.

He was the underling until the first guy quit, now he's the only. As far as I'm aware at this point he answers to the owner and has no subordinates.

I've known the owner for almost a decade. He knows more about IP addressing than this guy apparently does.

Thanks Ants posted:

Stateless autoconfiguration is going to blow people's minds. It's also going to be really annoying for people who currently get obsessed about IP addressing being 'neat' instead of just letting DNS do its thing.

I have to admit, I spent way too much time fiddling with DHCPv6 because I wanted it to just be like I was used to before I was ready to acknowledge that with proper use of DNS none of it matters and SLAAC is the one true way.

Partycat posted:

Also re subnet chat , the PBX is probably the gateway if it's a shoebox so that's why he doesn't know where it is.

Probably right as a general assumption, but not in this case. The PBX is my box, it's currently using my gateway through my cable modem, the intended outcome of this exercise (which I drove three hours each way for) was to get it connected through the site owner's MPLS. At this time I'm back home and nothing's changed from a functional standpoint. I swapped my gateway for one with more ethernet ports and plugged it in where it theoretically belongs. If all goes well I can finish the job remotely tomorrow, if not I contemplate felonies involving the customer's IT guy.

xzzy posted:

I just google for an ip calculator when I need to know the first/last ip because that's what the internet is for, saving me from thinking.

ipcalc installed on my laptop and phone ftw. Though when it's not convenient, googling ipcalc gets a web version from the same author.

# ? Sep 1, 2016 04:27

stubblyhead: Sep 13, 2007; That is treason, Johnny!; Fun Shoe

Bob Morales posted:

People who ask for a second monitor and then they just have a picture of their dog or kid on it and never any application windows

Or just duplicate the primary display onto the secondary. Why, God?

# ? Sep 1, 2016 04:49

Inspector_666: Oct 7, 2003; _{benny with the good hair}

The Fool posted:

I didn't know it off the top of my head, but was able to figure it out in under 30 seconds with my phones calculator.

Anything within a couple of numbers from /24 is pretty much reflex even if just because how can you forget what /24 is?

# ? Sep 1, 2016 05:43

CitizenKain: May 27, 2001; That was Gary Cooper, asshole.; Nap Ghost

Many years ago I got into an argument with a AT&T test and turn-up guy over subnets. It got a little ugly and he wouldn't listen or use a tool like solarwinds. Took a few days of emails and voicemails to get someone else at AT&T to go over to his desk and correct him.

# ? Sep 1, 2016 07:03

Thanks Ants: May 21, 2004; #essereFerrari

I have had people running a traceroute to an address in the same subnet and then declaring a firewall problem when it didn't return anything they were expecting. Networking is magic to most people. Especially our guys who historically dealt with phones, they think of it like plumbing and assume as long as two things are connected to a switch and the lights come on then they can communicate with each other.

# ? Sep 1, 2016 08:04

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

stubblyhead posted:

Or just duplicate the primary display onto the secondary. Why, God?

Or keep the lid on their laptop open, so that's their second monitor while the one next to the primary is black.

# ? Sep 1, 2016 09:24

Sprechensiesexy: Dec 26, 2010; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Thing that doesn't piss me off as much as it utterly confuses me:

Guy: We found a device that is acting as a DHCP server even though it shouldn't be, here are instructions on how to disable it as a DHCP server. How should I proceed?
Me: :suicide:

How can you answer your own question and then sit there waiting for someone to confirm it? I just don't get it.

# ? Sep 1, 2016 10:42

Fil5000: Jun 23, 2003; HOLD ON GUYS I'M POSTING ABOUT INTERNET ROBOTS

Sprechensiesexy posted:

Thing that doesn't piss me off as much as it utterly confuses me:

Guy: We found a device that is acting as a DHCP server even though it shouldn't be, here are instructions on how to disable it as a DHCP server. How should I proceed?
Me:

How can you answer your own question and then sit there waiting for someone to confirm it? I just don't get it.

Because then if he disables it and someone gets mad because he disabled it, it's now your fault instead of his.

# ? Sep 1, 2016 10:51

Thanks Ants: May 21, 2004; #essereFerrari

"What's DHCP snooping?"

# ? Sep 1, 2016 11:02

Sprechensiesexy: Dec 26, 2010; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Thanks Ants posted:

"What's DHCP snooping?"

The alarms generated by snooping triggered the attention of network security who contacted him and he contacted me. There is plenty wrong with my current employer but we're well past the point where incorrectly plugged in VOIP phones or rogue DHCP servers cause more than annoying alerts.

# ? Sep 1, 2016 11:06

Bigass Moth: Mar 6, 2004; I joined the #RXT REVOLUTION.

he knows...

Sprechensiesexy posted:

Thing that doesn't piss me off as much as it utterly confuses me:

Guy: We found a device that is acting as a DHCP server even though it shouldn't be, here are instructions on how to disable it as a DHCP server. How should I proceed?
Me:

How can you answer your own question and then sit there waiting for someone to confirm it? I just don't get it.

Better to ask and get confirmation than to gently caress something up and get fired for not asking.

# ? Sep 1, 2016 12:49

FlapYoJacks: Feb 12, 2009

I was talking to our temp 1099 "Network Engineer" yesterday. The engineering network is a island and has it's own DNS server that acts as a delegate to the corporate DNS server.
The corporate DNS server isn't updating registries for some reason if I add a dns entry to the engineering network and I wanted his help.

:v:

Hey, is there something I have to do to have the corporate DNS server update it's records with the engineering slave DNS server?

:downs:

What are you talking about? What's a slave DNS server?

I just stood there and stammered for a second before walking away. How do you become a "Network Engineer" and not know what zone delegation is?

# ? Sep 1, 2016 13:20

Super Slash: Feb 20, 2006; You rang ?

wolrah posted:

In theory this man is the director of IT for a medium sized healthcare management firm, managing hundreds of endpoints over seven sites.

Arsten posted:

Edit: was a Senior Networking Admin for a global company.

I have a sudden renewed confidence for a non-senior job search.

# ? Sep 1, 2016 14:02

MC Fruit Stripe: Nov 26, 2002; around and around we go

My current headache: security auditors. Pain in my rear end and nothing they do has any bearing on security. Here is an email exchange I had yesterday.

Them: Stripe, could you send us a list of active user accounts?
Us: Here you are.
Them: We need the report to have a count of users as well.
Us: Got it, here you go.
Them: We need the report to show which users have administrative access.
Us: Alright, here you are.
Them: Can you include all group memberships for each user.
Us: Alright.
Them: We need administrators to be separate from regular users so it is clear who has administrative access.
Us: No. If you have a specific report in mind, you can send me the Powershell query and I will run it for you, but I have provided the same information 3 times now and you've moved the goalposts each time. I am not going to guess what you need.

It's not security, it's busy work, you're just making poo poo up to justify the fee you're charging the company. Well you know what? I didn't hire you, I didn't pay you, and I know it's a scam, so why don't we both stop pretending and you shut the gently caress up for a few weeks then get out of my life and rubber stamp us a "Pass"?

ratbert90 posted:

I just stood there and stammered for a second before walking away. How do you become a "Network Engineer" and not know what zone delegation is?

See I dunno, I kinda want to side with him on that. None of that is network engineering. Dude probably has no idea about delegations and zone transfers.

# ? Sep 1, 2016 15:03

Super-NintendoUser: Jan 16, 2004; COWABUNGERDER COMPADRES; Soiled Meat

My manager has a test for new linux administrator hiring interviews, it's got about 10 questions on it, one of which is "You see a server with a load average of 10, is this server going over utilized and likely to experience performance issues?"

It's a pass/fail question, if you miss that specific one, he'll likely not even look at the rest.

answer in spoilers

it's a trick question, you can't know this if you don't know the number of cores the server has. If there's one core, 10 is a high average and yes it's slow, if there's 16 cores, then 10 is not too bad, this is an over simplification of load average as a topic, but it's the basic answer

Most people did not get it right. I'm not sure how I feel about it.

# ? Sep 1, 2016 15:10

Sheep: Jul 24, 2003

I'm with MC Fruit Stripe. I wouldn't expect anyone to know about DNS zones just because their title includes network and/or engineering it, but I'd expect them to be able to get up to speed on it reasonably quickly.

Anyways poo poo that's pissing me off: marketing just asked us to get HIPAA-compliant.

They want it done by the end of the day. Guess I can just disconnect everything - no network/computers, no problems!

# ? Sep 1, 2016 15:12

Fil5000: Jun 23, 2003; HOLD ON GUYS I'M POSTING ABOUT INTERNET ROBOTS

Sheep posted:

I'm with MC Fruit Stripe. I wouldn't expect anyone to know about DNS zones just because their title includes network and/or engineering it, but I'd expect them to be able to get up to speed on it reasonably quickly.

Anyways poo poo that's pissing me off: marketing just asked us to get HIPAA-compliant.

They want it done by the end of the day. Guess I can just disconnect everything - no network/computers, no problems!

Every time I ask someone when they need something by they say "As soon as possible", which is the most pointless answer they can possibly give. I can't prioritise if everything needs to be done now, so I'll just tell you I need three times as long as it'll actually take me.

# ? Sep 1, 2016 15:20

FlapYoJacks: Feb 12, 2009

Network engineer hosed up the Web filter and I have been without Internet for 20 minutes. He's outside smoking a cigarette right now.

Edit*

I don't see how it's acceptabpe for a guy who was hired to setup our new corporate network to not know about zone delegations. I'm a embedded Linux Engineer and even I figured them out in a few minutes.

FlapYoJacks fucked around with this message at 15:54 on Sep 1, 2016

# ? Sep 1, 2016 15:49

Arsten: Feb 18, 2003

ratbert90 posted:

I was talking to our temp 1099 "Network Engineer" yesterday. The engineering network is a island and has it's own DNS server that acts as a delegate to the corporate DNS server.
The corporate DNS server isn't updating registries for some reason if I add a dns entry to the engineering network and I wanted his help.

Hey, is there something I have to do to have the corporate DNS server update it's records with the engineering slave DNS server?

What are you talking about? What's a slave DNS server?

I just stood there and stammered for a second before walking away. How do you become a "Network Engineer" and not know what zone delegation is?

At this company we work in councils. Everything functions in harmony. I find your blatant subjugative language atrocious and it should be illegal because it perpetuates hate crimes.

Actual comment after I explained a client-server relationship to a "Communitizer". :smith:

xzzy posted:

I maintain a Jenkins instance here and I was asked at one point to stop referring to the build nodes as "slaves."

So now I call them workers because I don't have the energy to debate that poo poo.

Are you implying that workers are bound to Jenkins? Forced to serve? Forced to labor for a greedy corporate overlord?? You, sir, are worse than hitler.

:v:

Arsten fucked around with this message at 16:10 on Sep 1, 2016

# ? Sep 1, 2016 16:04

xzzy: Mar 5, 2009

I maintain a Jenkins instance here and I was asked at one point to stop referring to the build nodes as "slaves."

So now I call them workers because I don't have the energy to debate that poo poo.

# ? Sep 1, 2016 16:07

spog: Aug 7, 2004; It's your own bloody fault.

http://edition.cnn.com/2003/TECH/ptech/11/26/master.term.reut/

quote:

LOS ANGELES, California (Reuters) -- Los Angeles officials have asked that manufacturers, suppliers and contractors stop using the terms "master" and "slave" on computer equipment, saying such terms are unacceptable and offensive.

The request -- which has some suppliers furious and others busy re-labeling components -- came after an unidentified worker spotted a videotape machine carrying devices labeled "master" and "slave" and filed a discrimination complaint with the county's Office of Affirmative Action Compliance.

In the computer industry, "master" and "slave" are used to refer to primary and secondary hard disk drives. The terms are also used in other industries.

"Based on the cultural diversity and sensitivity of Los Angeles County, this is not an acceptable identification label," Joe Sandoval, division manager of purchasing and contract services, said in a memo sent to County vendors. "We would request that each manufacturer, supplier and contractor review, identify and remove/change any identification or labeling of equipment components that could be interpreted as discriminatory or offensive in nature," Sandoval said in the memo, which was distributed last week and made available to Reuters.

The memo did not include any suggestions for alternative labels.

Dennis Tafoya, director of the affirmative action office, said in a separate memo that an "exhaustive search" had been undertaken to find all such labels and replace them with more "appropriate" ones. A form was sent to all departments to identify equipment carrying the labels "master" and "slave" or any other offensive terms.

Faced with an avalanche of complaints from vendors and the general public, Sandoval told Reuters in an interview that his memo was intended as "nothing more than a request" and not an ultimatum or policy change.

"I do understand that this term has been an industry standard for years and years and this is nothing more than a plea to vendors to see what they can do," he said. "It appears that some folks have taken this a little too literally."

# ? Sep 1, 2016 16:19

Arsten: Feb 18, 2003

spog posted:

http://edition.cnn.com/2003/TECH/ptech/11/26/master.term.reut/

So, you're saying....we should create a live action Fallout RPG in Los Angeles? :hfive:

# ? Sep 1, 2016 16:22

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

"Nothing more than a request" my rear end - if that's the case, the idiot should've chosen his wording more carefully and not literally told people to change their existing labeling to avoid upsetting anyone. gently caress I hate the culture of everyone being offended by everything nowadays. If the master/slave terminology was that much of a problem, then someone should've requested a change, oh, I dunno...more than half a century ago?

# ? Sep 1, 2016 16:32

Zamboni Apocalypse: Dec 29, 2009

Fil5000 posted:

Every time I ask someone when they need something by they say "As soon as possible", which is the most pointless answer they can possibly give. I can't prioritise if everything needs to be done now, so I'll just tell you I need three times as long as it'll actually take me.

"As Soon As Possible" = "stick in the pile below all the jobs that people submitted actual deadlines for"

It's *possible* to get it done sooner if they'd give me an idea of when it's actually needed by. At the very least, so I can laugh and educate them on reality vs. fantasy.

"No, you won't get 24-hour turnaround on this bigass complicated mess. Especially given the fact that we don't provide this particular variation, and never have."

or the perennial favorite

"But I sent it in four days ahead of time!"

"You emailed it at 4:57 on Friday, with a completion time of 10 AM Monday." :fuckoff:

# ? Sep 1, 2016 16:38

Storysmith: Dec 31, 2006

I dunno, using terms like "primary"/"secondary" and calling Jenkins boxes "builders" and our Redis boxes "the primary" and "the read replica", and our ES nodes electing a master but calling the rest of them regular nodes, seems like an easy enough thing to do and avoids giving a racist shitbag more ways of making a black coworker uncomfortable while claiming they're just talking computers. And you know there's assholes who do that, under the guise of "it was just a joke."

As a bonus, the replacement terms tend to be more descriptive of what the boxes actually do. If your hard drives still use "master" and "slave", upgrade. SATA's been a thing for years.

Seems weird to be so married to such terms, especially when more descriptive and accurate terms exist.

# ? Sep 1, 2016 17:50

xzzy: Mar 5, 2009

The complaint isn't that we are adamant about using the master/slave terms and people that won't let us are idiots, the complaint is that people feel the need to create an issue where none should exist.

Lots of language people use makes me "uncomfortable" and I'd prefer them to not say it but it's a big world with lots of opinions out there. I got no right to impose my morality on them.

# ? Sep 1, 2016 17:54

Super-NintendoUser: Jan 16, 2004; COWABUNGERDER COMPADRES; Soiled Meat

Storysmith posted:

married

# ? Sep 1, 2016 17:55

bitterandtwisted: Sep 4, 2006

"Domain controller" has imperialist overtones imo

# ? Sep 1, 2016 17:59

Dick Trauma: Nov 30, 2007; God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Network hegemony supervisor

# ? Sep 1, 2016 18:03

Super-NintendoUser: Jan 16, 2004; COWABUNGERDER COMPADRES; Soiled Meat

Dick Trauma posted:

Network hegemony supervisor

One of my clients names all their servers after Lethal Weapon characters.

# ? Sep 1, 2016 18:04

Dick Trauma: Nov 30, 2007; God damn it, you've got to be kind.

So we hired an idiot to operate out of a one person office in the midwest. He specified that a low level, boring laptop would be all he needed. Nothing special. I prepped a Lenovo but he wouldn't give me his shipping address. Then he said he was coming to L.A. and would pick it up.

He didn't.

Eventually someone from his department took it with him to the midwest and handed it over. I checked and saw that two weeks went by and he still hadn't logged in. Next thing I get a call from him that he hates the laptop, the screen is too small and that he was so frustrated he almost threw it out a window. I reminded him that without his shipping address I couldn't send him the dock, LCDs and accessories. He said he'd email the info.

A day passes and he calls saying he needs to get his PC set up. What in the gently caress? Turns out instead of just sending me his goddamn address so I could send him the dock stuff he bought a used desktop from a friend in I.T. who had just retired a bunch of computers. He's calling because he wants me to help him get his email account added to Outlook.

Using join.me I helped him out but he would also need the VPN client so he could access all the shared files on our network. I went to install the client and it turns out he doesn't have the admin info. He offered to ship the machine to me for cracking but then said he would call his friend for the info. I made sure he understood that we couldn't install anything without admin access. I told the HQ guy from his department about the delay in getting him file access and he rolled his eyes. He hates the new guy and is pissed off because the dude did not ask for permission before buying a PC.

I emailed the new guy a reminder list of what needs to be done before his PC is ready for use. A week goes by and he sends a complaint to accounting that he can't access the expense form because it's on a network share, and then they complain to me. I fill them in, and then this morning I re-send the To Do list to this dumbshit so he can't claim he doesn't know what comes next. I also suggested that he could still ship the new PC to me so I could crack the security and scrub the drat thing clean.

This is what he sent back:

"Loggin on via Internet all good thanks for following up"

WHAT THE gently caress DOES THIS MEAN AND HOW IS IT A VALID RESPONSE?

# ? Sep 1, 2016 18:35

Khisanth Magus: Mar 31, 2011; Vae Victus

Dick Trauma posted:

So we hired an idiot to operate out of a one person office in the midwest. He specified that a low level, boring laptop would be all he needed. Nothing special. I prepped a Lenovo but he wouldn't give me his shipping address. Then he said he was coming to L.A. and would pick it up.

He didn't.

Eventually someone from his department took it with him to the midwest and handed it over. I checked and saw that two weeks went by and he still hadn't logged in. Next thing I get a call from him that he hates the laptop, the screen is too small and that he was so frustrated he almost threw it out a window. I reminded him that without his shipping address I couldn't send him the dock, LCDs and accessories. He said he'd email the info.

A day passes and he calls saying he needs to get his PC set up. What in the gently caress? Turns out instead of just sending me his goddamn address so I could send him the dock stuff he bought a used desktop from a friend in I.T. who had just retired a bunch of computers. He's calling because he wants me to help him get his email account added to Outlook.

Using join.me I helped him out but he would also need the VPN client so he could access all the shared files on our network. I went to install the client and it turns out he doesn't have the admin info. He offered to ship the machine to me for cracking but then said he would call his friend for the info. I made sure he understood that we couldn't install anything without admin access. I told the HQ guy from his department about the delay in getting him file access and he rolled his eyes. He hates the new guy and is pissed off because the dude did not ask for permission before buying a PC.

I emailed the new guy a reminder list of what needs to be done before his PC is ready for use. A week goes by and he sends a complaint to accounting that he can't access the expense form because it's on a network share, and then they complain to me. I fill them in, and then this morning I re-send the To Do list to this dumbshit so he can't claim he doesn't know what comes next. I also suggested that he could still ship the new PC to me so I could crack the security and scrub the drat thing clean.

This is what he sent back:

"Loggin on via Internet all good thanks for following up"

WHAT THE gently caress DOES THIS MEAN AND HOW IS IT A VALID RESPONSE?

I believe the accurate translation is "I have been and continue to sit on my hands and do absolutely no work and this idiotic company keeps paying me."

# ? Sep 1, 2016 18:40

xzzy: Mar 5, 2009

I think you might actually be dealing with three people pretending to be one.

# ? Sep 1, 2016 18:47

Dick Trauma: Nov 30, 2007; God damn it, you've got to be kind.

I think we hired the Graeae and I haven't been talking to the one with the eye.

# ? Sep 1, 2016 18:51

ponzicar: Mar 17, 2008

My guess is that this person knows absolutely nothing about his job, and is trying to drag things out as slowly as possible so as to keep getting that sweet undeserved paycheck.

Regarding monitors, I'm pretty sure that people see them as an office status symbol. So if the guy in the next cubicle has double monitors, and you don't, you're not worth as much, and thus have to demand the same to assert your dominance. It's irrelevant that the other guy actually uses the extra space and you don't. It's like working with children some times.

# ? Sep 1, 2016 19:02

MF_James: May 8, 2008; I CANNOT HANDLE BEING CALLED OUT ON MY DUMBASS OPINIONS ABOUT ANTI-VIRUS AND SECURITY. I REALLY LIKE TO THINK THAT I KNOW THINGS HERE

INSTEAD I AM GOING TO WHINE ABOUT IT IN OTHER THREADS SO MY OPINION CAN FEEL VALIDATED IN AN ECHO CHAMBER I LIKE

^--- you are correct, I requested 4 monitors, as did my team-lead and another guy on our team, because we work on multiple accounts, I have 2 monitors dedicated to our largest client (they provide us with a machine) and then 2 monitors devoted to my companies machine where I work on other clients. Once everyone else saw this, everyone else suddenly needed 4 monitors (hint: half of them are turned off or displaying something dumb like the weather)

Khisanth Magus posted:

I believe the accurate translation is "I have been and continue to sit on my hands and do absolutely no work and this idiotic company keeps paying me."

This, this is exactly what he is doing, he's throwing up artificial roadblocks, possibly collecting a check from another company that he's actually working for, so he can string you guys along and collect money.

v---- haha yes that would be so amazing.

MF_James fucked around with this message at 20:50 on Sep 1, 2016

# ? Sep 1, 2016 19:04

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# ? May 27, 2024 07:53

SubjectVerbObject: Jul 27, 2009

MF_James posted:

This, this is exactly what he is doing, he's throwing up artificial roadblocks, possibly collecting a check from another company that he's actually working for, so he can string you guys along and collect money.

Specifically, he is working for the company that he got the computer from.

# ? Sep 1, 2016 20:45

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > More shit that pisses you off: What does that say about the quality of your emails?

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