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It's so much better if you mentally change the "everyone clapped" to the Law and Order noise.
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Sep 4, 2016 07:28
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Non Serviam posted:That's up there with that story that ended with "and then my 8 year old and her friend spent the next 20 minutes talking about consent" Seven. They were 7, and it was 'as children do'.
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Sep 4, 2016 07:32
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"Hello, doctor? My eight year old is so woke that it's affecting her grades, she can't get any sleep and she's missing the bus in the morning."
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Sep 4, 2016 15:26
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seeing tumblr dive headfirst into being anti-feminist because their guy lost never fails to amuse
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Sep 4, 2016 18:27
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The Iron Rose posted:seeing tumblr dive headfirst into being anti-feminist because their guy lost never fails to amuse
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Sep 4, 2016 18:28
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I'm fairly certain this is a joke made at the expense of people who like to brag about how woke their children are
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Sep 4, 2016 19:05
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Realized I might have phrased that poorly, I applaud your efforts to bring me stupid and pointless stories from other people to laugh at. A++ would read again.
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Sep 4, 2016 23:44
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Sep 6, 2016 14:52
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So dad was texting himself?
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Sep 6, 2016 14:57
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People naming their child "Dad" is how you wind up with the Berenstain Bears
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Sep 6, 2016 15:08
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 Nobody on imgur believed it either
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Sep 7, 2016 05:35
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I can believe that guy is lowly paid. He can't even spell "Feminist".
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Sep 7, 2016 05:42
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BrigadierSensible posted:I can believe that guy is lowly paid. He can't even spell "Feminist". I like how he's on minimum wage despite being best friends with the boss.
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Sep 7, 2016 06:39
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CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:I like how he's on minimum wage despite being best friends with the boss. That raccoon looks upset like it just was given cotton candy or soda crackers and it washed them and it's not sure where the food ended up. It was just in its little hands and now it's gone! Oh no, raccoon.
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Sep 7, 2016 06:59
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CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:I like how he's on minimum wage despite being best friends with the boss. That's why he's on minimum wage as opposed to being unemployed.
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Sep 7, 2016 07:46
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"Eric, did you print you those reports like I asked?" "No I spent all day making this image macro! Some imgurian gave me a +1 even though he doesn't believe me because he hates feminazis!" "*sigh* I'm a saint for keeping you on"
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Sep 7, 2016 08:12
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Stuntman posted:That's Twitter.  lol I'm an idiot. I mean my point stands about tumblr as well, but yeah I'm still super dumb.
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Sep 7, 2016 08:28
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WrenP-Complete posted:That raccoon looks upset like it just was given cotton candy or soda crackers and it washed them and it's not sure where the food ended up. It was just in its little hands and now it's gone! Oh no, raccoon. http://i.imgur.com/BrZGAXy.mp4
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Sep 7, 2016 08:46
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my day .mp4
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Sep 7, 2016 22:41
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Ratjaculation posted:my day .mp4 if only the same thing happened to your posts.
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Sep 8, 2016 07:57
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Sep 8, 2016 15:12
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Yes, that is definitely how blood transfusions work. Without a doubt.
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Sep 8, 2016 16:58
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Fathis Munk posted:Yes, that is definitely how blood transfusions work. Without a doubt. Tbf children are very stupid
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Sep 8, 2016 17:04
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Yeah well so's your posting 
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Sep 8, 2016 17:22
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If a kid doesn't want a shot or other medical treatment, we hold them down if necessary and give it to them anyway because they need treatment. Could this fake kid's parents have forced him to be a blood donor even though the kid himself doesn't need treatment?
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Sep 8, 2016 17:23
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Fathis Munk posted:Yeah well so's your posting Ho poo poo, more like oldslainless
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Sep 8, 2016 17:52
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Too bad that comment icon isn't actually a thumbs down oven mitt
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Sep 8, 2016 20:56
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Ok, I know this is STDH, but instead of bragging about how a little boy was willing to give his life up to his sister, all that shows me is that the doctor posting it (if it were true) was apparently HORRIBLY bad at explaining to the boy what was happening. If I were the doctor in this situation, I would stress to the boy that we were only going to take a little of his blood to give his sister and it wouldn't hurt him except that the needle might pinch a little but it would be over soon and it would save his sister's life. The way he describes this poo poo that didn't happen makes me hate him as a doctor. Also I don't know the rules about giving blood for minors but I've heard about a story about parents who had a second child specifically because their first needed an organ donor and the second child ended up taking them to court over it. I think it was a movie but based on a true story? Or maybe more STDH.
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Sep 8, 2016 21:27
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King of Foolians posted:Ok, I know this is STDH, but instead of bragging about how a little boy was willing to give his life up to his sister, all that shows me is that the doctor posting it (if it were true) was apparently HORRIBLY bad at explaining to the boy what was happening. If I were the doctor in this situation, I would stress to the boy that we were only going to take a little of his blood to give his sister and it wouldn't hurt him except that the needle might pinch a little but it would be over soon and it would save his sister's life. The way he describes this poo poo that didn't happen makes me hate him as a doctor. It was called My Sisters Keeper. I think it's a true story? I was working in a video store when it came out and rolled my eyes and never saw it. hosed up if true. Oh and for content: I used to make poo poo up constantly to mess with my older brother. "Oh I saw the last episode of Beast Wars last night! Here's what happened..." Except I'd always go too far and he'd call me on my stdh.
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Sep 8, 2016 21:48
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The Great Burrito posted:Oh and for content: I used to make poo poo up constantly to mess with my older brother. "Oh I saw the last episode of Beast Wars last night! Here's what happened..." Except I'd always go too far and he'd call me on my stdh. My little bro was so good at that when he was like 15. Everytime we met someone new he knew every movie and every book. He was real good at being just the right kinda vague to convince people he'd seen it while he had actually no clue what he was talking about. It was always very fun to watch since I got used to the bullshit and knew he was bluffing.
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Sep 8, 2016 21:51
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The movie My Sister's Keeper is based on Jodi Picoult's entirely fictional novel of the same name.
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Sep 8, 2016 23:16
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Perfect fit then haha
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Sep 8, 2016 23:24
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Searsquote:Not my own story, but this was related to me by my former boss; I Am Not Making This Up. Her daughter-in-law drove to Sears and parked in the parking lot. After she finished shopping, she came out...car was gone. Store employees were asked for help. Police were finally summoned, and when they arrived, they escorted her out to the place where the car had been parked — and was, in fact, parked. She said they basically seemed to imply she was stupid or mentally imbalanced. Driving home, she noticed there was something really wrong with the car, and there had been nothing wrong with it previously. Shortly after arriving home, however, the manager of that Sears called. Turns out that the Sears body shop was responsible — they had taken her car, which was identical to a car they were supposed to work on and started with the same key, and did some work to the brakes; the mixup was only discovered when the person whose car was supposed to be repaired realized that nothing had been done to his car. So when she couldn't find her car, it was because it was in the body shop, and by the time the police came, it had been returned to its parking space. The store manager apologized profusely and promised to refund her money for all purchases she had made that day as well as repair her car for free, then asked if there was anything else he could do to make the mess up to her. Yes, she told him, please call the police and tell them what happened! Aerostar quote:This Troper was not present during this incident, but I've certainly heard about it. Once, my mother, my brother (who was like 7) and my sister (who was about 2) went to the grocery store, bought food, and came back out to our early-'90s forest green Ford Aerostar. My mom opened the doors and thought, "Did I really leave the door unlocked?" Then my brother said, "It's smells really bad in here!" (It smelled like paint and smoke.) And then my sister screamed, "WHERE'S MY CAR SEAT?!?!" It slowly dawned on my mother: they were in the wrong minivan! So she got out, grabbed my siblings and the groceries, shut the doors, and ran away. Then she found our Aerostar. She was both freaked out and amused. Lunch quote:Went to lunch with a co-worker during the day. Co-worker parked her SUV-ish vehicle in a parking spot three spots down from the diner door. We go in, eat, decide lunch is almost over, go outside... car's not there. Co-woker starts freaking. A few moments later, I point across the parking lot, to the nearly-empty parking lot of a hotel, and say "Isn't that your car?" The car had been locked and in park, and somehow moved across two parking lots... half of the way, uphill. To this day, we have no idea how it happened. We can only assume someone had a key that opened the door and started the car, but they realized it wasn't their car and decided to leave it in the nearest space instead of bringing it back...
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Sep 9, 2016 23:17
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The Aerostar one is actually conceivable. Everything else is total bullshit
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Sep 10, 2016 00:24
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^^^ Yeah, there have been a couple times that I started trying to unlock some car that wasn't mine, though I imagine I would have noticed before actually getting seated in the car if I somehow managed to open it.Khazar-khum posted:Sears Wait, is it even a thing for car keys to be able to open cars other than your own?
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Sep 10, 2016 02:22
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I came very close to doing something much more awkward on the way to Naples back in June. We stopped at McDonalds for some food at the halfway point in the drive, with my mom staying in the SUV because she was feeling sick (we didn't know at the time, but she had an umbilical hernia for the past 5 years and it was just starting to get bad enough to require emergency hospitalization as we drove south). My girlfriend and I walked up to a red Santa Fe and began to reach for the door handle....only to stop upon seeing a person in the seat. We had parked next to an identical vehicle, only this one had passengers in it that we were about to accidentally try and carjack.
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Sep 10, 2016 02:25
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My boyfriend brought the wrong cat home once, thinking ours had escaped. The mystery cat was shockingly alright with the whole thing, from being carried like a baby for half a block to being greeted at the door by our actual cat.
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Sep 10, 2016 02:31
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Ytlaya posted:
One night in college we left the bars and got into the DD's early-90s Saturn only to discover a few blocks later that it wasn't hers.
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Sep 10, 2016 02:31
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Crow Jane posted:My boyfriend brought the wrong cat home once, thinking ours had escaped. The mystery cat was shockingly alright with the whole thing, from being carried like a baby for half a block to being greeted at the door by our actual cat. So what you're saying is you now have two identical cats? 
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Sep 10, 2016 03:04
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Choco1980 posted:So what you're saying is you now have two identical cats? Sadly, there was no cat wedding 
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Sep 10, 2016 03:10
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