Post Funny Panels: Maximum Bogosity

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > BSS: Bisexual Super Son > Post Funny Panels: Maximum Bogosity

Synthbuttrange: May 6, 2007

An adhesive that sets instantly, can hold several tons, and completely evaporates in an hour has limited applications?! Medical, construction and emergency services would like to have a word.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 03:52

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# ? May 9, 2024 18:15

Rhyno: Mar 22, 2003; Can't post for 10 years!

Kwyndig posted:

To be fair, the web shooters have extremely limited application, for a person with ordinary strength, they'd only be useful for law enforcement.

Which is exactly what they did with them in Earth X.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 03:53

ImpAtom: May 24, 2007

Kwyndig posted:

To be fair, the web shooters have extremely limited application, for a person with ordinary strength, they'd only be useful for law enforcement.

People say this and I never understand it.

An instant super-strong adhesive that dissolves cleanly an hour? That would be *fantastic* for so many different things.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 03:55

bunnyofdoom: Mar 29, 2008; I've been here the whole time, and you're not my real Dad!

poo poo, think of how useful it would be for bdsm

# ? Sep 8, 2016 03:57

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Y'know a good way around it would be to say that Peter can only manufacture it with some Spider-blood, and even if all it takes is like one pint for a quarter year's worth he still can't scale it up to industrial quantities because of expiration dates or dilutions or some bullshit I don't care you figure it out I'm going to get a drink.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 04:05

Synthbuttrange: May 6, 2007

Sure a 'club'

# ? Sep 8, 2016 04:05

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

WHERE IS MY COMIC WITH WEB-SKIS AND WEB-CLUBS?

# ? Sep 8, 2016 04:06

ImpAtom: May 24, 2007

mind the walrus posted:

Y'know a good way around it would be to say that Peter can only manufacture it with some Spider-blood, and even if all it takes is like one pint for a quarter year's worth he still can't scale it up to industrial quantities because of expiration dates or dilutions or some bullshit I don't care you figure it out I'm going to get a drink.

I know people dislike it but I genuinely think organic webbing was the cleanest solution. Just have the web shooter be something that is designed to properly manipulate it or allow him to do the weird web tricks instead so you still get the gimmick of him being clever but... well, also you know give Spider-Man the one power of a spider he mysteriously never got?

# ? Sep 8, 2016 04:09

Rhyno: Mar 22, 2003; Can't post for 10 years!

mind the walrus posted:

WHERE IS MY COMIC WITH WEB-SKIS AND WEB-CLUBS?

I know Ben used skis at the beginning of the Web of Scarlet Spider.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 04:09

WickedHate: Aug 1, 2013; by Lowtax

This is one reason organic webshooters are so much better.

Edit: Imp :argh:

# ? Sep 8, 2016 04:09

Synthbuttrange: May 6, 2007

Its also an excellent electrical insulator.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 04:10

Rhyno: Mar 22, 2003; Can't post for 10 years!

"You SAID web your hands." still makes me chuckle.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 04:14

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

ImpAtom posted:

I know people dislike it but I genuinely think organic webbing was the cleanest solution. Just have the web shooter be something that is designed to properly manipulate it or allow him to do the weird web tricks instead so you still get the gimmick of him being clever but... well, also you know give Spider-Man the one power of a spider he mysteriously never got?

WickedHate posted:

This is one reason organic webshooters are so much better.

Edit: Imp

I still prefer my explanation, but you're right that it would be a "cleaner" solution. Something about organic webshooters just bug the poo poo out of me, and not in the "Peter needs to prove he's good at science!" or "If he had a real webshooter it'd be in his rear end!" ways.

The blood explanation shows Peter's resourcefulness in multiple scientific disciplines, makes the webshooters something really closely tied to him and his powers, as well as explain why 3M or whomever couldn't buy his tech. Plus you have him sticking himself regularly you can play "Peter why are you covering your arm are those track marks that's wicked cool let's get turnt together" :v:

# ? Sep 8, 2016 04:15

SonicRulez: Aug 6, 2013; GOTTA GO FIST

ImpAtom posted:

I know people dislike it but I genuinely think organic webbing was the cleanest solution. Just have the web shooter be something that is designed to properly manipulate it or allow him to do the weird web tricks instead so you still get the gimmick of him being clever but... well, also you know give Spider-Man the one power of a spider he mysteriously never got?

What is Stan Lee's answer as to how we got here? I know he has to have been asked a million times. It bothers me that people are bothered by organic webshooters. You cannot possibly think they don't make the most sense by a country mile.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 04:17

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Can we shut the gently caress up about organic/mechanical webshooters right the gently caress here? That line of discussion never ends well, and I've been doing this poo poo since the first Raimi Spider-Man so I would loving know. Not trying to be hysterical, I just don't want to see the Funny Panel thread get derailed.

Here:

quote:

ORGANIC WEBSHOOTERS

THE PROS

- These make Peter Parker's spiderbite-induced mutation more meaningful. (Comics just give him heightened reflexes, Spider-Sense, and enhanced strength, wall-crawling, and jumping skills)
- Make Peter's web-slinging more special.
- Potentially an infinite supply of web-fluid that's produced from his own body.
- Easy to conceal and since they're part of his body, won't set off metal detectors.
- Eliminates certain limitations that come with mechanical shooters (see below)

THE CONS

- It can seem rather implausible that Peter CONVENIENTLY has the ability to shoot webs out of his wrists, as opposed to a more comparable location, like the tailbone.
- Downplays Peter's intellect and skills as a scientist.
- Can make exercises or check-ups at the doctor rather...awkward.
- Webs can be potentially harder to detach since the shooters are inside his body
- Web fluid stays the same (what you see is what you get!)
- Make Spider-Man's mutation seem freaky and potentially monstrous.
- Potentially awkward to shoot and hard to figure out HOW to shoot.
- If this was done in the early years, when it was a RADIOACTIVE spider that bit Peter, it could lead to radioactive webbing that could make people sick just from touching it.

MECHANICAL WEB-SHOOTERS

THE PROS

- Showcases Peter's intellect and science skills.
- Can be removed when they don't need to be used so as to avoid accidents.
- Make Spider-Man more human and not a mutant or other freak.
- Can be used by an ally in case Peter/Spider-Man is for whatever reason unable to use it himself.
- Easier to understand how to use.
- Can be loaded with a variety of different forms of web-fluid (fireproof, shock-proof, etc.) depending on what Spidey needs it for and against what obstacles/villains.

THE CONS

-SEVERELY downplay his powers and association with the spider.
-Web fluid can run out in the middle of a fight or even some routine web-swinging.
-Can be broken and rendered useless.
- Makes Spidey seem more vulnerable.
- Brings realism where it doesn't need to exist.
-Can set off metal detectors (depending on what is used to make it.)
-Can give the impression that ANYONE could just put them on and swing around on a web (chances of successfully doing so may vary, of course.)
- Can be taken off and even used against him.
- Significantly harder to conceal; If Peter ever has his shirt/jacket taken off by someone else, like if he was injured, he'd be BUSTED.
- Brings up a lot of legal/budget-related questions:

That should cover most of it. Neither side has the overwhelming argument here. It all comes down to preference, and what Stan Lee thinks is "whatever Marvel is paying me to think at this exact moment."

# ? Sep 8, 2016 04:25

NieR Occomata: Jan 18, 2009; Glory to Mankind.

I agree that organic webshooters make sense (and the ways in which they've been differentiated based on character like with Silk's fingertip-shooters make for a fun visual identity), it's just when they're organic you don't have the ability to customize the webs as easily as "Peter invented a new web type that does _____" and you lose the dramatic angle of Spider-Man running out of web-fluid in the heat of the moment, which often leads to some of his best ingenuity.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 04:25

WickedHate: Aug 1, 2013; by Lowtax

Organic being freaky should be a pro. Also, the radioactive webbing did kill Mary Jane that one time...

# ? Sep 8, 2016 04:27

ImpAtom: May 24, 2007

Toxxupation posted:

I agree that organic webshooters make sense (and the ways in which they've been differentiated based on character like with Silk's fingertip-shooters make for a fun visual identity), it's just when they're organic you don't have the ability to customize the webs as easily as "Peter invented a new web type that does _____" and you lose the dramatic angle of Spider-Man running out of web-fluid in the heat of the moment, which often leads to some of his best ingenuity.

The latter isn't true. When Peter had organic webbing it was simply a case of him using it up faster than he could naturally replenish it IIRC. Which frankly is a more reasonable excuse for "oh poo poo I'm out of webbing" then "whoops forgot to reload" in terms of making Peter not seem like an idiot.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 04:35

Captain Bravo: Feb 16, 2011; An Emergency Shitpost
has been deployed...

...but experts warn it is
just a drop in the ocean.

WickedHate posted:

Also, the radioactive webbing did kill Mary Jane that one time...

# ? Sep 8, 2016 04:35

Byzantine: Sep 1, 2007; Can't post for 12 hours!

ImpAtom posted:

The latter isn't true. When Peter had organic webbing it was simply a case of him using it up faster than he could naturally replenish it IIRC. Which frankly is a more reasonable excuse for "oh poo poo I'm out of webbing" then "whoops forgot to reload" in terms of making Peter not seem like an idiot.

That was how he beat Venom in one of their early fights, iirc, since the symbiote makes 'web' from its own substance.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 04:52

ConfusedUs: Feb 24, 2004; Bees?
You want fucking bees?
Here you go!
ROLL INITIATIVE!!

Duke Igthorn posted:

Superiour Foes already existed. And ended.

I just read the whole run for the first time. I'd seen bits and pieces, but never the whole thing.

It was so good.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 04:58

Red: Apr 15, 2003; Yeah, great at getting us into Wawa.

SonicRulez posted:

What is Stan Lee's answer as to how we got here? I know he has to have been asked a million times. It bothers me that people are bothered by organic webshooters. You cannot possibly think they don't make the most sense by a country mile.

There's an old ASM Annual where Peter explains his powers to MJ. He theorizes his powers include an inherent knowledge of how to make web fluid.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 05:47

Rhyno: Mar 22, 2003; Can't post for 10 years!

Thankfully the Ultimate version had that bit about his dad's incomplete industrial adhesive formula.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 06:05

Ygolonac

Nov 26, 2007

pre:

*************
CLUTCH  NIXON
*************

The Hero We Need

Ghostlight posted:

To be fair, Doctor Octopus really did build the arms for their actual practical scientific application.

Panel 4: Scratch Master O in the DJ booth with his futuristic dual reel-to-reel decks.

Semi-related:

# ? Sep 8, 2016 06:07

bunnyofdoom: Mar 29, 2008; I've been here the whole time, and you're not my real Dad!

I like how Jessica is staring and mentally picturing the Web diaper spidey is wearing

# ? Sep 8, 2016 06:38

Doc Hawkins: Jun 15, 2010; Dashing? But I'm not even moving!

SonicRulez posted:

I love the idea that Peter actually did try and market his tech and every place just told him "Nah, not good enough."

The Hudsucker Spidey.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 08:03

Woebin: Feb 6, 2006

Toxxupation posted:

I agree that organic webshooters make sense (and the ways in which they've been differentiated based on character like with Silk's fingertip-shooters make for a fun visual identity), it's just when they're organic you don't have the ability to customize the webs as easily as "Peter invented a new web type that does _____" and you lose the dramatic angle of Spider-Man running out of web-fluid in the heat of the moment, which often leads to some of his best ingenuity.

It's comics, you could make him have some mechanical attachment to his webholes that allows him to change the web's attributes on the fly if you wanted to.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 08:42

Captain Bravo: Feb 16, 2011; An Emergency Shitpost
has been deployed...

...but experts warn it is
just a drop in the ocean.

Whenever the topic of Spider-Man's fantastic web creations comes up, all that needs to be posted is this:

And yes, the propeller spins. Of course it does. All other arguments are invalid.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 09:27

Section Z: Oct 1, 2008; Wait, this is the Moon.
How did I even get here?; Pillbug

Ygolonac posted:

Panel 4: Scratch Master O in the DJ booth with his futuristic dual reel-to-reel decks.

Semi-related:

The fact Spiderman had something so drastically embarrasing happen to him, should have been all the proof they needed he was the real deal.

Captain Bravo posted:

Whenever the topic of Spider-Man's fantastic web creations comes up, all that needs to be posted is this:

And yes, the propeller spins. Of course it does. All other arguments are invalid.

Did he ever make a web propeller plane, ala those rubber band powered toy planes with wings that break after the first two uses every loving time?

# ? Sep 8, 2016 10:21

WickedHate: Aug 1, 2013; by Lowtax

Web shooters, Green Lantern ring, same thing.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 10:23

Wheat Loaf: Feb 13, 2012; by FactsAreUseless

One thing I remember about the web-shooters is from a story in the Mackie run where Peter ends up sleeping rough and gets his backpack with his costume in it nicked, and the guy who took it needs a sledgehammer to work the web-shooters, because apparently they're designed with Peter's super strength in mind.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 10:35

MikeJF: Dec 20, 2003

Clearly the best solution is that Peter harvests the web fluid that secretes from his butt to fuel web shooters.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 10:49

cant cook creole bream: Aug 15, 2011; I think Fahrenheit is better for weather

You know what's kinda weird? Peter made those mechanic web shooters. But completely independent of that, Cindy Moon can weave without such things even though they were bitten by the same spider at the same time.
Also, she's way better at webbing. For example, she can make complete multicolored outfits in seconds. If you ignore the part where someone hunted her and she had to spend a decade alone in a bunker, she got the better deal.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 10:57

The Question IRL: Jun 8, 2013; Only two contestants left! Here is Doom's chance for revenge...

Ghostlight posted:

To be fair, Doctor Octopus really did build the arms for their actual practical scientific application.

What I love about this page is there is a What If where Flash Thompson get's bit instead of Peter.

Flash becomes a megalomaniac and makes Peter build him Web shooters amd a costume.

Peter eventually goes to see his ido, Otto Octavious who laughs off this high school student who is interupting the genius of Doctor Octavious.
Then Peter points out that there is a warning light flashing in the background.
Otto quickly shuts it down, isn't blown up and decides maybe he should be more humble and decides to help out Parker.

I love that story because I love when What If's branch off from a story instead of being "What If Daredevil...was a caveman!"

# ? Sep 8, 2016 12:04

Mover: Jun 30, 2008

MikeJF posted:

Clearly the best solution is that Peter harvests the web fluid that secretes from his butt to fuel web shooters.

Well, he could also poop out of his hands.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 12:35

Yvonmukluk: Oct 10, 2012; Everything is Sinister

The Question IRL posted:

What I love about this page is there is a What If where Flash Thompson get's bit instead of Peter.

Flash becomes a megalomaniac and makes Peter build him Web shooters amd a costume.

Peter eventually goes to see his ido, Otto Octavious who laughs off this high school student who is interupting the genius of Doctor Octavious.
Then Peter points out that there is a warning light flashing in the background.
Otto quickly shuts it down, isn't blown up and decides maybe he should be more humble and decides to help out Parker.

I love that story because I love when What If's branch off from a story instead of being "What If Daredevil...was a caveman!"

It's also a massive improvement over the other story where Flash gets bit because it doesn't end with Peter Parker in his classic costume with his traditional powers, only slightly later than usual.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 13:58

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Yvonmukluk posted:

It's also a massive improvement over the other story where Flash gets bit because it doesn't end with Peter Parker in his classic costume with his traditional powers, only slightly later than usual.

When "What-if" and "Elseworld" stories do this I always want to slap the writer/editor. You have freedom to use these characters in racial ways under an official banner. Do it!

# ? Sep 8, 2016 14:03

prefect: Sep 11, 2001; No one, Woodhouse.
No one.; Dead Man’s Band

mind the walrus posted:

When "What-if" and "Elseworld" stories do this I always want to slap the writer/editor. You have freedom to use these characters in racial ways under an official banner. Do it!

They really shouldn't get too racial; that's just asking for trouble. :haw:

# ? Sep 8, 2016 14:10

Red: Apr 15, 2003; Yeah, great at getting us into Wawa.

Wheat Loaf posted:

One thing I remember about the web-shooters is from a story in the Mackie run where Peter ends up sleeping rough and gets his backpack with his costume in it nicked, and the guy who took it needs a sledgehammer to work the web-shooters, because apparently they're designed with Peter's super strength in mind.

Holy cow - do you remember the issue? I really want to see this.

I always figured the web-shooters were more about precision touch.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 14:16

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# ? May 9, 2024 18:15

prefect: Sep 11, 2001; No one, Woodhouse.
No one.; Dead Man’s Band

Red posted:

Holy cow - do you remember the issue? I really want to see this.

I always figured the web-shooters were more about precision touch.

Maybe it's both; without spider-strength and spider-agility, they're just sweet wristbands.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 14:20

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