chitoryu12 posted:

I don't think he has to worry about getting a date.

hrvat posted:

only thing suitable for fatties is forced euthanasia

Choco1980 posted:

That anti-feminist article was on my feed earlier too, and in the recommended reading ads under it was another article by him (same picture) titled something like "All about that time I got a Russian Internet Girlfriend (actually a robot scam artist)"

MizPiz posted:

quote:

The other night, I received a Facebook friend request from a woman named Dixie Layman.

We had one mutual friend. Her profile, since deleted, was sparse. I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt — maybe it was a new profile — and accepted the friend request. What followed was the strangest night of my life.

I immediately messaged her, asking if I knew her outside of Facebook. She replied, in broken English, that she didn’t, but she found me through “research.” I assumed that I was either being catfished or maybe a newly immigrated, soon-to-be college student had stumbled upon my profile.

She started asking me personal questions, like how old I was and where I was from. I directed her to my profile, which is public and includes this information. Her responses included unsolicited information about her life.

Time to see if this is a human or robot, I thought.

The best way to determine if you’re talking to a human is to contradict yourself. In this case, Dixie asked if I was alone. My response was, “Yes, I am alone. There are other people in the room with me.”

A human being would probably think this is a joke and respond with “lol” and ask another question in clarification. Not Robo-Dixie. Instead, she went ahead with her programming.

“I alone,” she messaged me. “I want to show. Call me.”

This was new. On dating apps, bots can’t call you. Facebook messenger's newest updates allows for video calls. I quickly went into the bathroom, shut the lights off and called Robo-Dixie. A woman closely resembling Dixie’s profile picture answered.

“Flip on light light,” Dixie messaged in broken English. This questioned my robot hypothesis. Robo-Dixie was exhibiting problem solving skills. With nothing to lose, I turned on the light. Robo-Dixie burst into laughter as soon as she saw my face. I asked her what was so funny, but never received a response.

Instead, Robo-Dixie began dancing and stripping. Before I knew it, she was completely naked. She stopped every once in awhile to type a message to me. The rate at which I received messages and the amount she stopped at the keyboard didn’t correlate. I knew I wasn’t seeing who I was chatting with, but I was still curious if this was a robot.

“Show me your tiny baby (expletive),” she messaged.

“Yeah, I don’t do that,” I replied.

I kept asking questions, attempting to determine if I was talking to a person. Robo-Dixie’s replies only consisted of insulting my manhood, then asking to see it. (What a way to get a fella to whip it out.) Eventually, I gave up. After ending the call, Robo-Dixie tried calling back, but I ignored her.

This incident perplexed me. Why would someone want to see my penis? Could I have been talking to a human? Was it a Chinese or Russian hacker? But what do foreign hackers want with my nether region?

It was conceivably possible that my computer-savvy friends were playing a prank on me. It also could have been the beginning of an elaborate blackmail attempt. It also could have been what the hackers wanted.

I was puzzled. But at the end of the day, there was only one explanation. Obviously, Harambe, the deceased Cincinnati Zoo Gorilla had died and gone to the internet. His digital ghost now haunts us. Harambe died for our internet sins and he was demanding penance. Somewhere, hundreds of men were showing Facebook their penises.

Eventually, the memes caught up with us.

Choco1980 posted:

Vode posted:

My wife found this. I don't even know where to begin.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mr4vnX55jmM&sns=em

This crazy-rear end woman even has a series of videos on how not to be fugly.

Lonely Virgil posted:

Oldie but goodie.

Picnic Princess posted:

Picnic Princess posted:

Choco1980 posted:

cash crab posted:

Does anyone remember her Tumblr url? I remember this from the last AUG iteration, her blog was very weird.

Serge Painsbourg posted:

I don't get why you wouldn't wax the living hell out of that facial hair. Living with PCOS can't be easy, but I'd think you'd want to at least try to look halfway decent.

Fashionable Jorts posted:

I knew a girl who proudly has one of those "I have the thickest moustache in 7th grade". Nobody ever should have one of those scraggly things, regardless of how you want to express yourself.

She also calls herself Paint now.

Scratch Monkey posted:

What exactly is this proving?

Garrand posted:

I don't get people who name themselves after their favorite food.

Fashionable Jorts posted:

I knew a girl who proudly has one of those "I have the thickest moustache in 7th grade". Nobody ever should have one of those scraggly things, regardless of how you want to express yourself.

She also calls herself Paint now.

E: gently caress yeah, a friend still has her on facebook.

Fashionable Jorts posted:

Fashionable Jorts posted:

I knew a girl who proudly has one of those "I have the thickest moustache in 7th grade". Nobody ever should have one of those scraggly things, regardless of how you want to express yourself.

She also calls herself Paint now.

E: gently caress yeah, a friend still has her on facebook.

Panfilo posted:

cyberia posted:

I never realised before how uneven her nose is.

du -hast posted:

Ok so we have definitively established that this whatever it is is a female?