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  • Locked thread
irlZaphod
Mar 26, 2004

Kiss the Joycon to Kiss Zelda

fridge corn posted:

Have they made the announcement yet
Yes

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Kashuno
Oct 9, 2012

Where the hell is my SWORD?
Grimey Drawer
Wow the power glove is coming back remade! Never count Nintendo out man

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008
I can't believe Nintendo would make a YouPorn app for the 3DS.

Gorgolflox
Apr 2, 2009

Gun Saliva
My sources are telling me that there will be a big announcement on the 15th

Kashuno
Oct 9, 2012

Where the hell is my SWORD?
Grimey Drawer
My sources tell me you should shut up!!!!!!

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

I can prove definitively that the ZOG NWO will release the Nintendo Thrii (actual release name, as it is the third in the Wii series and there are three [thrii] sides in a triangle/pyramid - see Elder Protocols Glossary) on March 3 (3/3) of 2017: 2+7+0 is 9, multiply that by 1 and you get 9, and 3 times 3 (3/3, the release date) is 9. Furthermore, water micro-crystal analysis shows that water responds when you discuss the Nintendo Thrii by forming into a triangle/pyramid (three [thrii] sided shape), likely a result of chemical seeding in the atmosphere: the Bavarians in their Zionist (Jewish - JEW and ZOG both have three [thrii] letters) arrogance love to leave secret marks on their creations.

zolthorg
May 26, 2009

the new nintendo wii u direct will definitely be announced and out to the public before or around the 15th of a month in 2016-2017 fiscal year
thanks all please direct requests for media interviews to my pms box

- anon rumor source

Kurtofan
Feb 16, 2011

hon hon hon
The Nx will have a Pepe controller

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008

FactsAreUseless posted:

I can prove definitively that the ZOG NWO will release the Nintendo Thrii (actual release name, as it is the third in the Wii series and there are three [thrii] sides in a triangle/pyramid - see Elder Protocols Glossary) on March 3 (3/3) of 2017: 2+7+0 is 9, multiply that by 1 and you get 9, and 3 times 3 (3/3, the release date) is 9. Furthermore, water micro-crystal analysis shows that water responds when you discuss the Nintendo Thrii by forming into a triangle/pyramid (three [thrii] sided shape), likely a result of chemical seeding in the atmosphere: the Bavarians in their Zionist (Jewish - JEW and ZOG both have three [thrii] letters) arrogance love to leave secret marks on their creations.

NINTENDO'S PORTABLE
SIMULTANEOUS 4-PLAYER
GAME CUBE


Sony evil is Microsoft worship.
Revelations for Pichu and
Pikachu's immaculate creation.,
that equates a whole lot of money
and the 'Missingno' of game glitches.
Cube synergy voids 2-company system.
4-players voids Windows god.
I bet you can't handle Mew.

Microsoft is a sacriligeous institution.
Only SSBM makes you godly.
Without SSBM, where are you?
Without SSBM, is there god?
Death to counterfeit cartridges
and ROM hunters everywhere -
destroying videogame industry.

Front composed of four ports.
1 corner human knows but left side.
One-player is less fun than the family form
of 4-player beatdowns.
1 human equates boredom.
Miyamoto is creation body.
Mario is the perpetual body.
Humans bartered their soul
to get Pokemon stuff.
***********************************************
$1,000.00 to one disproving the Gamecube.
$100.00 for 1 MIT student found not playing Gamecube
Cube. $500.00 for 1 MIT professor eat-
ing Gamecube. To be awarded after dessert.
************************************
Theoretical Panasonic's powerful processors are the
4 fundamental forces within Gamecube.
Gamecube is is F.F.E. or Fun for Everyone.
It is Reminiscence in the Corporeal Realm. It is the Holy
Grail of old-school geekdom. It is the Ultimate Nostalgia Trip. It
is the Rose-colored Glasses Theory. It is the Cube
to End all Cubes - and is a totally different
platform from the G4 Mac Cube.
Awareness of the Gamecube can lead to academic ignorance.
************************************
Gamecube lecture at E3
May 25th, 3
to 5 pm in Lecture Hall 08-4567.
Lecture for media people only. Also sneaky kids.
Your Gates is invited to attend
and a chair will be prepared.
Will 'fun for all ages' be allowed,
or will blinded bigotry prevail
in pimply dorks & whining about the lack of blood
by and suppressing Gamecube?
Remember "Little Mac".
How many chump diedwhile
trying to defeat Iron Mike?
Does Iron Mike honor those chumps?
Iron Mike did not defeat Soda Popinski.
Ought not go for a stomach jab,
when a uppercut to the jaw will suffice?
Bald Bull is overrated -
hit him in the stomach when he charges.
Glass Joe is not difficult at all.
Don Flamenco has cool hair.
Soda Popinski is really Vodka Drunkenski, despite what we told you. Also
We should issue a Punch-Out! remake sometime
and make it into the next Pokemon.
Gotta punch 'em all,
and sell lots of marketing slop.
**********************************************
A 'Big Bang' for DVD-Based systems.
A 2-port console = a two-wheeled car.
A 4-port console = God.
4 ports allow for melee,
but doesn't cut out three players either.
Gamecube more Cubic than thou.
********************************************************************************
Miyamoto is wiser than all gods and
scientists, for he has created
over 4 simultaneous series with
delightful characters all in one
console, though sometimes they are delayed
they are always perfect.
The years spent waiting for Mario to arrive
mean nothing when you revolve the plumber around Bowser.
Miyamoto has created entire universes
of 'human experience'.

Humans are educated stupid
because they are really dumb
and cannot even comprehend
the Gamecube programming code
when our god Miyamoto explains it to them.
Sony enslaves human mind
with its third parties.
Third is unnatural and must
be relied upon to rein in the market.
DVDs have deadly virus
that will destroy your system.

Game Cube's ineffable Truth.
'Cubeless World' is not Truth.
Sony justifies all human evil.
Game Cube is a test for Truth.
Rectangular design is slop bucket.
Cube sales 75% not Cube sales.
Evil is 75%, belief and truth is 25%.
Game Cube is all that is good and right.

There is 'absolute proof' that
You are Sony stupid.

Videogames are a Nintendian Princple,
& you are too dumb to know.
To ignore it is to support evil.
Microsoft makes little children work in sweatshops,
so no tycoons are worth saving.

Sony is Microsoft is Sony is Microsoft.

Think of the Game Cube as a 4-cornered monolith of Truth-
room representing the 4 powers of Mario, Link, Pikachu, and Kirby.
They will show the stoopid such as yourself the true path to enlightenment.
1-power mustachioed plumber singularity - that
equates to the Messiah.

Microsoft builds word bomb,
kinda like old Trojan Horse
filled with deadly deception and empty promises.

Confirmation:


LIFE ENCOMPASSES A 4-PORT CUBE PRINCIPLE
Mario has a lion's share
Pokemon has slightly less
Link Holds The Middle
Kirby is for the dedicated
1 - 4 PLAYER Smash Melee
4 ports - no need to take turns
Mario has a sunshine
Link hve a stalfos-knight
Pikachu has a rare candy lvl-up
Kirby has a bright day
i do not know what I am saying either
Sony fandom is a lie.
Your CD is someone else's DVD, someone else's Minidisc and even someone else's 8-track. Do you know that Nintendo is a simultaneous 4-player cube that rotates on startup every day it is started on earth? You are Sony stupid and unable to know Nintendos's 4-Player Game Cube Creation.

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

lmao

zolthorg
May 26, 2009

Jumpingmanjim posted:

NINTENDO'S PORTABLE
SIMULTANEOUS 4-PLAYER
GAME CUBE


Sony evil is Microsoft worship.
Revelations for Pichu and
Pikachu's immaculate creation.,
that equates a whole lot of money
and the 'Missingno' of game glitches.
Cube synergy voids 2-company system.
4-players voids Windows god.
I bet you can't handle Mew.

Microsoft is a sacriligeous institution.
Only SSBM makes you godly.
Without SSBM, where are you?
Without SSBM, is there god?
Death to counterfeit cartridges
and ROM hunters everywhere -
destroying videogame industry.

Front composed of four ports.
1 corner human knows but left side.
One-player is less fun than the family form
of 4-player beatdowns.
1 human equates boredom.
Miyamoto is creation body.
Mario is the perpetual body.
Humans bartered their soul
to get Pokemon stuff.
***********************************************
$1,000.00 to one disproving the Gamecube.
$100.00 for 1 MIT student found not playing Gamecube
Cube. $500.00 for 1 MIT professor eat-
ing Gamecube. To be awarded after dessert.
************************************
Theoretical Panasonic's powerful processors are the
4 fundamental forces within Gamecube.
Gamecube is is F.F.E. or Fun for Everyone.
It is Reminiscence in the Corporeal Realm. It is the Holy
Grail of old-school geekdom. It is the Ultimate Nostalgia Trip. It
is the Rose-colored Glasses Theory. It is the Cube
to End all Cubes - and is a totally different
platform from the G4 Mac Cube.
Awareness of the Gamecube can lead to academic ignorance.
************************************
Gamecube lecture at E3
May 25th, 3
to 5 pm in Lecture Hall 08-4567.
Lecture for media people only. Also sneaky kids.
Your Gates is invited to attend
and a chair will be prepared.
Will 'fun for all ages' be allowed,
or will blinded bigotry prevail
in pimply dorks & whining about the lack of blood
by and suppressing Gamecube?
Remember "Little Mac".
How many chump diedwhile
trying to defeat Iron Mike?
Does Iron Mike honor those chumps?
Iron Mike did not defeat Soda Popinski.
Ought not go for a stomach jab,
when a uppercut to the jaw will suffice?
Bald Bull is overrated -
hit him in the stomach when he charges.
Glass Joe is not difficult at all.
Don Flamenco has cool hair.
Soda Popinski is really Vodka Drunkenski, despite what we told you. Also
We should issue a Punch-Out! remake sometime
and make it into the next Pokemon.
Gotta punch 'em all,
and sell lots of marketing slop.
**********************************************
A 'Big Bang' for DVD-Based systems.
A 2-port console = a two-wheeled car.
A 4-port console = God.
4 ports allow for melee,
but doesn't cut out three players either.
Gamecube more Cubic than thou.
********************************************************************************
Miyamoto is wiser than all gods and
scientists, for he has created
over 4 simultaneous series with
delightful characters all in one
console, though sometimes they are delayed
they are always perfect.
The years spent waiting for Mario to arrive
mean nothing when you revolve the plumber around Bowser.
Miyamoto has created entire universes
of 'human experience'.

Humans are educated stupid
because they are really dumb
and cannot even comprehend
the Gamecube programming code
when our god Miyamoto explains it to them.
Sony enslaves human mind
with its third parties.
Third is unnatural and must
be relied upon to rein in the market.
DVDs have deadly virus
that will destroy your system.

Game Cube's ineffable Truth.
'Cubeless World' is not Truth.
Sony justifies all human evil.
Game Cube is a test for Truth.
Rectangular design is slop bucket.
Cube sales 75% not Cube sales.
Evil is 75%, belief and truth is 25%.
Game Cube is all that is good and right.

There is 'absolute proof' that
You are Sony stupid.

Videogames are a Nintendian Princple,
& you are too dumb to know.
To ignore it is to support evil.
Microsoft makes little children work in sweatshops,
so no tycoons are worth saving.

Sony is Microsoft is Sony is Microsoft.

Think of the Game Cube as a 4-cornered monolith of Truth-
room representing the 4 powers of Mario, Link, Pikachu, and Kirby.
They will show the stoopid such as yourself the true path to enlightenment.
1-power mustachioed plumber singularity - that
equates to the Messiah.

Microsoft builds word bomb,
kinda like old Trojan Horse
filled with deadly deception and empty promises.

Confirmation:


LIFE ENCOMPASSES A 4-PORT CUBE PRINCIPLE
Mario has a lion's share
Pokemon has slightly less
Link Holds The Middle
Kirby is for the dedicated
1 - 4 PLAYER Smash Melee
4 ports - no need to take turns
Mario has a sunshine
Link hve a stalfos-knight
Pikachu has a rare candy lvl-up
Kirby has a bright day
i do not know what I am saying either
Sony fandom is a lie.
Your CD is someone else's DVD, someone else's Minidisc and even someone else's 8-track. Do you know that Nintendo is a simultaneous 4-player cube that rotates on startup every day it is started on earth? You are Sony stupid and unable to know Nintendos's 4-Player Game Cube Creation.

did u insert the memory card
got any cubesticks
peach is present

Jonas Albrecht
Jun 7, 2012


Kashuno
Oct 9, 2012

Where the hell is my SWORD?
Grimey Drawer

Jumpingmanjim posted:

NINTENDO'S PORTABLE
SIMULTANEOUS 4-PLAYER
GAME CUBE


Sony evil is Microsoft worship.
Revelations for Pichu and
Pikachu's immaculate creation.,
that equates a whole lot of money
and the 'Missingno' of game glitches.
Cube synergy voids 2-company system.
4-players voids Windows god.
I bet you can't handle Mew.

Microsoft is a sacriligeous institution.
Only SSBM makes you godly.
Without SSBM, where are you?
Without SSBM, is there god?
Death to counterfeit cartridges
and ROM hunters everywhere -
destroying videogame industry.

Front composed of four ports.
1 corner human knows but left side.
One-player is less fun than the family form
of 4-player beatdowns.
1 human equates boredom.
Miyamoto is creation body.
Mario is the perpetual body.
Humans bartered their soul
to get Pokemon stuff.
***********************************************
$1,000.00 to one disproving the Gamecube.
$100.00 for 1 MIT student found not playing Gamecube
Cube. $500.00 for 1 MIT professor eat-
ing Gamecube. To be awarded after dessert.
************************************
Theoretical Panasonic's powerful processors are the
4 fundamental forces within Gamecube.
Gamecube is is F.F.E. or Fun for Everyone.
It is Reminiscence in the Corporeal Realm. It is the Holy
Grail of old-school geekdom. It is the Ultimate Nostalgia Trip. It
is the Rose-colored Glasses Theory. It is the Cube
to End all Cubes - and is a totally different
platform from the G4 Mac Cube.
Awareness of the Gamecube can lead to academic ignorance.
************************************
Gamecube lecture at E3
May 25th, 3
to 5 pm in Lecture Hall 08-4567.
Lecture for media people only. Also sneaky kids.
Your Gates is invited to attend
and a chair will be prepared.
Will 'fun for all ages' be allowed,
or will blinded bigotry prevail
in pimply dorks & whining about the lack of blood
by and suppressing Gamecube?
Remember "Little Mac".
How many chump diedwhile
trying to defeat Iron Mike?
Does Iron Mike honor those chumps?
Iron Mike did not defeat Soda Popinski.
Ought not go for a stomach jab,
when a uppercut to the jaw will suffice?
Bald Bull is overrated -
hit him in the stomach when he charges.
Glass Joe is not difficult at all.
Don Flamenco has cool hair.
Soda Popinski is really Vodka Drunkenski, despite what we told you. Also
We should issue a Punch-Out! remake sometime
and make it into the next Pokemon.
Gotta punch 'em all,
and sell lots of marketing slop.
**********************************************
A 'Big Bang' for DVD-Based systems.
A 2-port console = a two-wheeled car.
A 4-port console = God.
4 ports allow for melee,
but doesn't cut out three players either.
Gamecube more Cubic than thou.
********************************************************************************
Miyamoto is wiser than all gods and
scientists, for he has created
over 4 simultaneous series with
delightful characters all in one
console, though sometimes they are delayed
they are always perfect.
The years spent waiting for Mario to arrive
mean nothing when you revolve the plumber around Bowser.
Miyamoto has created entire universes
of 'human experience'.

Humans are educated stupid
because they are really dumb
and cannot even comprehend
the Gamecube programming code
when our god Miyamoto explains it to them.
Sony enslaves human mind
with its third parties.
Third is unnatural and must
be relied upon to rein in the market.
DVDs have deadly virus
that will destroy your system.

Game Cube's ineffable Truth.
'Cubeless World' is not Truth.
Sony justifies all human evil.
Game Cube is a test for Truth.
Rectangular design is slop bucket.
Cube sales 75% not Cube sales.
Evil is 75%, belief and truth is 25%.
Game Cube is all that is good and right.

There is 'absolute proof' that
You are Sony stupid.

Videogames are a Nintendian Princple,
& you are too dumb to know.
To ignore it is to support evil.
Microsoft makes little children work in sweatshops,
so no tycoons are worth saving.

Sony is Microsoft is Sony is Microsoft.

Think of the Game Cube as a 4-cornered monolith of Truth-
room representing the 4 powers of Mario, Link, Pikachu, and Kirby.
They will show the stoopid such as yourself the true path to enlightenment.
1-power mustachioed plumber singularity - that
equates to the Messiah.

Microsoft builds word bomb,
kinda like old Trojan Horse
filled with deadly deception and empty promises.

Confirmation:


LIFE ENCOMPASSES A 4-PORT CUBE PRINCIPLE
Mario has a lion's share
Pokemon has slightly less
Link Holds The Middle
Kirby is for the dedicated
1 - 4 PLAYER Smash Melee
4 ports - no need to take turns
Mario has a sunshine
Link hve a stalfos-knight
Pikachu has a rare candy lvl-up
Kirby has a bright day
i do not know what I am saying either
Sony fandom is a lie.
Your CD is someone else's DVD, someone else's Minidisc and even someone else's 8-track. Do you know that Nintendo is a simultaneous 4-player cube that rotates on startup every day it is started on earth? You are Sony stupid and unable to know Nintendos's 4-Player Game Cube Creation.


:same:

zolthorg
May 26, 2009

will pichu the best missing smash bro be in the nx port at launch before ice climber or after launch as 2 dollars 70 canadian dlc for "nx handheld" and "nx console mode" dual dlc code before ice climber

greatn
Nov 15, 2006

by Lowtax
Neither Ice Climbers or Pichu will be in the game, instead it will have Plusle and Minun.

zolthorg
May 26, 2009

greatn posted:

Neither Ice Climbers or Pichu will be in the game, instead it will have Plusle and Minun.

ive been repping pichu climber since before i began my pipe dream of bandana waddle dee, thank you for settling me back on the path brethren

Phantasium
Dec 27, 2012

The fact that NX refused to show up at Sony's presser at the Tokyo Game Show is PROOF that it is actually the Scorpio, the next console from Microsoft. Legendary reveal to be announced two days from yesterday.

irlZaphod
Mar 26, 2004

Kiss the Joycon to Kiss Zelda

The NX is a new secret collaboration between Nintendo and... SEGA?!

It's actually pronounced "En-ex-is".

Phantasium
Dec 27, 2012

As is proof with the Dreamcast, cooperating with Microsoft does not preclude cooperating with Sega.

Chernabog
Apr 16, 2007



The NX is so hip, so cool it's alright.
It's so groovy it's outta sight.
You can touch it, smell it, taste it so sweet.
But it makes no difference cause it knocks you off your feet.

Chernabog fucked around with this message at 14:47 on Sep 13, 2016

spit on my clit
Jul 19, 2015

by Cyrano4747

Kurtofan posted:

The Nx will have a Pepe controller

WHOA, WHOA, hold on now! Nintendo would NEVER cater to that demographic!


Chernabog posted:

The NX is so hip, so cool it's alright.
It's so groovy it's outta sight.
You can touch it, smell it, taste it so sweet.
But it makes no difference cause it knocks you off your feet.

Nintendo NX: You want it all, but you can't have it

katkillad2
Aug 30, 2004

Awake and unreal, off to nowhere
All these sources on comedy forums Somethingawful.com better not be lying to me, I am expecting big news today.

Wayne Knight
May 11, 2006

Phantasium posted:

The fact that NX refused to show up at Sony's presser at the Tokyo Game Show is PROOF that it is actually the Scorpio, the next console from Microsoft. Legendary reveal to be announced two days from yesterday.

Nintendo Xbox
:eyepop:

Minidust
Nov 4, 2009

Keep bustin'

RZA Encryption posted:

Nintendo Xbox
:eyepop:
Atari Lynx
:eyepop:

Kashuno
Oct 9, 2012

Where the hell is my SWORD?
Grimey Drawer

RZA Encryption posted:

Nintendo Xbox
:eyepop:

Minidust posted:

Atari Lynx
:eyepop:

NX
:eyepop:

It's actually called NX. Nintendo Cross or abbreviated as NX. It is called this because it crosses the boundary between handheld and home console.

Kashuno fucked around with this message at 16:40 on Sep 13, 2016

katkillad2
Aug 30, 2004

Awake and unreal, off to nowhere
Nintendo 32X

Wayne Knight
May 11, 2006

Need Excederin
Virtual Boy 2 confirmed

SelenicMartian
Sep 14, 2013

Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

I hope NX flagship title will be doNX.exe.

Electromax
May 6, 2007
Miyamoto <3

https://twitter.com/NintendoAmerica/status/775364069779869696

DLC Inc
Jun 1, 2011

BillmasterCozb posted:

WHOA, WHOA, hold on now! Nintendo would NEVER cater to that demographic!


Nintendo NX: You want it all, but you can't have it

Nintendo NX: WHAT, IS, IT!?

InFlames235
Jan 13, 2004

LIKE THE WAVES IN THE OCEAN I WILL DIG IN YOUR FAT AND SEARCH FOR YOUR CLITORIS, BUT I WON'T SLAM WHALE
So nothing happened at the Gamestop thing today I'm guessing?

Jonas Albrecht
Jun 7, 2012


InFlames235 posted:

So nothing happened at the Gamestop thing today I'm guessing?

No, there was never a chance of that.

Djarum
Apr 1, 2004

by vyelkin

InFlames235 posted:

So nothing happened at the Gamestop thing today I'm guessing?

I don't believe it has started yet. I doubt we would hear anything until after it let out anyway.

Kashuno
Oct 9, 2012

Where the hell is my SWORD?
Grimey Drawer

InFlames235 posted:

So nothing happened at the Gamestop thing today I'm guessing?

No but I told you all what the NX is called and everyone ignored me

Electromax
May 6, 2007
Rumors getting wackier:
https://twitter.com/GamingBrown/status/775247852968747008/photo/1

hopeandjoy
Nov 28, 2014



...Nintendo, just announce the drat thing already. They've officially gone crazy.

Dexo
Aug 15, 2009

A city that was to live by night after the wilderness had passed. A city that was to forge out of steel and blood-red neon its own peculiar wilderness.

Hahaha Jesus christ I too can load up like MSpaint or Visio and make random poo poo up.

elf help book
Aug 5, 2004

Though the battle might be endless, I will never give up
According to that graphic, the customer will get to live inside of the NX. This is acceptable.

InFlames235
Jan 13, 2004

LIKE THE WAVES IN THE OCEAN I WILL DIG IN YOUR FAT AND SEARCH FOR YOUR CLITORIS, BUT I WON'T SLAM WHALE

Djarum posted:

I don't believe it has started yet. I doubt we would hear anything until after it let out anyway.

Thought it was 8AM today.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

zolthorg
May 26, 2009


yes 10$ a month so in three years customers will have paid off the cost of the hardware only yes this makes total sense

  • Locked thread