PYF Stupid Lifehacks: Oh, so that's how you smoke a jay.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > PYF Stupid Lifehacks: Oh, so that's how you smoke a jay.

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Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

The Schwa posted:

I was just about to post about how it's not enough

Same.

# ? Sep 15, 2016 01:26

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 4, 2024 13:32

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

chitoryu12 posted:

"Don't put cheese on your food! Put yeast on it instead!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xgt0GvXHUZk

It should surprise no one that I have hippie friends and family, and they all swear off honey because honeybees are an apparently invasive species where we live. I'm sure it's only a matter of days before they start burning down all the neighbourhood bee hives that people built to combat the issue with neonicotinoids.

Honestly the best lifehack to remedy the situation is just to destroy all humans.

# ? Sep 15, 2016 06:04

Karate Bastard: Jul 31, 2007; Soiled Meat

No, because that would give cats free reign.

# ? Sep 15, 2016 07:12

walrusman: Aug 4, 2006

Vegemite tastes like a paste made from garbage-water and salt. It is bad.

# ? Sep 15, 2016 07:16

Bogan Krkic: Oct 31, 2010; Swedish style? No.
Yugoslavian style? Of course not.
It has to be Zlatan-style.

Vegemite owns

# ? Sep 15, 2016 09:06

Proteus Jones: Feb 28, 2013

Picnic Princess posted:

It should surprise no one that I have hippie friends and family, and they all swear off honey because honeybees are an apparently invasive species where we live. I'm sure it's only a matter of days before they start burning down all the neighbourhood bee hives that people built to combat the issue with neonicotinoids.

Honestly the best lifehack to remedy the situation is just to destroy all humans.

What, precisely, is the issue with neonicotinoids that bees can combat.

I'm too lazy to google, and wish for you to do all the heavy lifting here. TIA.

# ? Sep 15, 2016 13:03

Iron Crowned: May 6, 2003; by Hand Knit

Picnic Princess posted:

Honestly the best lifehack to remedy the situation is just to destroy all humans.

I'm good with this

# ? Sep 15, 2016 13:07

Shit Fuckasaurus: Oct 14, 2005; i think right angles might be an abomination against nature you guys; Lipstick Apathy

flosofl posted:

What, precisely, is the issue with neonicotinoids that bees can combat.

I'm too lazy to google, and wish for you to do all the heavy lifting here. TIA.

Neonicotinoids might be causing Colony Collapse Disorder. It's the hives, not the bees, that are combating it.

# ? Sep 15, 2016 13:24

Control Volume: Dec 31, 2008

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNX4P1MrLN8

# ? Sep 15, 2016 15:58

Push El Burrito: May 9, 2006; Soiled Meat

Control Volume posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNX4P1MrLN8

No I have not guy who sits alone in his darkened kitchen making videos of himself eating bananas.

# ? Sep 15, 2016 16:15

Paladinus: Jan 11, 2014; heyHEYYYY!!!

A lifehack that is stupid on purpose for a change.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3A9Pz1c-Mec

# ? Sep 15, 2016 16:51

rydiafan: Mar 17, 2009

Control Volume posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNX4P1MrLN8

As if I'm going to take advice from someone who opens their banana from the stem end. :smuggo:

# ? Sep 15, 2016 17:37

Hardcordion: Feb 5, 2008; BARK BARK BARK

rydiafan posted:

As if I'm going to take advice from someone who opens their banana from the stem end.

I take it this has been brought up in this thread already, right? Who the hell decided that that's the "right" way to peel a banana? I have a feeling that was only spread around to see what idiots would dig their nails into the round end of the peel instead of grabbing the very obvious handle on top and pulling down.

# ? Sep 15, 2016 18:56

FluxFaun: Apr 7, 2010

I do it the life hack way when I have acrylic nails on because I'm afraid I'll ruin them

# ? Sep 15, 2016 19:00

Samuel L. ACKSYN: Feb 29, 2008

Hardcordion posted:

Who the hell decided that that's the "right" way to peel a banana?

i think that's how monkeys do it and since they are banana eating experts* someone decided thats the right way

* like your mom! hey-o!

# ? Sep 15, 2016 19:15

LogisticEarth: Mar 28, 2004; Someone once told me, "Time is a flat circle".

Hardcordion posted:

I take it this has been brought up in this thread already, right? Who the hell decided that that's the "right" way to peel a banana? I have a feeling that was only spread around to see what idiots would dig their nails into the round end of the peel instead of grabbing the very obvious handle on top and pulling down.

I'm a dirty degenerate who started opening bananas from the bottom. I tried it and found it just simpler and easier than peeling from the stem. You don't have to dig into it, just pinch and peel. Opening from the stem requires you to actually break the peel at a relatively strong point.

Anyone who does it because "that's how monkeys do it" is an idiot though. Monkeys just tear into it from the side or wherever, because they're animals and not some wise banana gurus from ~nature~.

# ? Sep 15, 2016 19:42

Olive!: Mar 16, 2015; It's not a ghost, but probably a 'living corpse'. The 'living dead' with a hell of a lot of bloodlust...

Hardcordion posted:

I take it this has been brought up in this thread already, right? Who the hell decided that that's the "right" way to peel a banana? I have a feeling that was only spread around to see what idiots would dig their nails into the round end of the peel instead of grabbing the very obvious handle on top and pulling down.

If it's an obvious handle then you should hold it to eat it :colbert:

I don't give a poo poo how anyone eats bananas

# ? Sep 15, 2016 19:50

3D Megadoodoo: Nov 25, 2010

LogisticEarth posted:

Opening from the stem requires you to actually break the peel at a relatively strong point.

Jesus christ.

It doesn't require you to pinch anything so it's obviously superior though.

# ? Sep 15, 2016 19:55

3D Megadoodoo: Nov 25, 2010

Butt Ox posted:

If it's an obvious handle then you should hold it to eat it

I don't give a poo poo how anyone eats bananas

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7UIThICPEY8

# ? Sep 15, 2016 19:58

Wasabi the J: Jan 23, 2008; MOM WAS RIGHT

Jerry Cotton posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7UIThICPEY8

She just said the hierarchy of needs before discussing how to be the most bougie gently caress in the world.

Eat the loving rich.

# ? Sep 15, 2016 20:07

Kwyndig: Sep 23, 2006; Heeeeeey

LogisticEarth posted:

I'm a dirty degenerate who started opening bananas from the bottom. I tried it and found it just simpler and easier than peeling from the stem. You don't have to dig into it, just pinch and peel. Opening from the stem requires you to actually break the peel at a relatively strong point.

Anyone who does it because "that's how monkeys do it" is an idiot though. Monkeys just tear into it from the side or wherever, because they're animals and not some wise banana gurus from ~nature~.

Yes, I've seen Chimps just straight up bite into the side of a banana, monkeys and apes are in no way experts on eating a fruit that isn't even normally a part of their diet. That'd be like watching a jaguar to see the correct way to eat a giant panda.

# ? Sep 15, 2016 20:14

Iron Crowned: May 6, 2003; by Hand Knit

Kwyndig posted:

That'd be like watching a jaguar to see the correct way to eat a giant panda.

One bite at a time?

:rimshot:

# ? Sep 15, 2016 20:15

LogisticEarth: Mar 28, 2004; Someone once told me, "Time is a flat circle".

Jerry Cotton posted:

Jesus christ.

It doesn't require you to pinch anything so it's obviously superior though.

You're probably tying your shoes the wrong way too.

Really though, I phrased that poorly. The top of a banana is "strong" but not in a way that requires any special effort. Rather, the peel is thicker and can have a habit of breaking at an odd or annoying point (too high, too low). The bottom just breaks more consistently.

# ? Sep 15, 2016 20:18

3D Megadoodoo: Nov 25, 2010

LogisticEarth posted:

You're probably tying your shoes the wrong way too.

Really though, I phrased that poorly. The top of a banana is "strong" but not in a way that requires any special effort. Rather, the peel is thicker and can have a habit of breaking at an odd or annoying point (too high, too low). The bottom just breaks more consistently.

Life hack: VELCRO-FASTENED SHOES

# ? Sep 15, 2016 20:22

corn in the bible: Jun 5, 2004; Oh no oh god it's all true!

LogisticEarth posted:

You're probably tying your shoes the wrong way too.

Really though, I phrased that poorly. The top of a banana is "strong" but not in a way that requires any special effort. Rather, the peel is thicker and can have a habit of breaking at an odd or annoying point (too high, too low). The bottom just breaks more consistently.

Who could ever care about this what the gently caress

# ? Sep 15, 2016 20:34

LogisticEarth: Mar 28, 2004; Someone once told me, "Time is a flat circle".

I'm secretly an agent of Satan, trying to turn you away from the convenient pull-tab at the top of all bananas, which is proof of Creation's intelligent design.

# ? Sep 15, 2016 20:45

Somfin: Oct 25, 2010; In my🦚 experience🛠️ the big things🌑 don't teach you anything🤷‍♀️.; Nap Ghost

Waci posted:

The amount looks right but it's spread too unevenly, there's obviously visible lumps and the corners are ungooped.

It's the proper amount if you're just trying Vegemite though. That poo poo is way too potent for an inexperienced palette.

# ? Sep 15, 2016 21:01

Karate Bastard: Jul 31, 2007; Soiled Meat

Paladinus posted:

A lifehack that is stupid on purpose for a change.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3A9Pz1c-Mec

Spot the dickbutt.

# ? Sep 15, 2016 21:32

Karate Bastard: Jul 31, 2007; Soiled Meat

Here dumbasses y'all've been wrong this whole time an you didn't even know it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dcy-nipyTEQ

Hack this motherfuckers.

# ? Sep 15, 2016 21:38

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

Just loving eat the banana however you want, it just turns to poo poo in the end anyway

# ? Sep 16, 2016 06:26

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

LogisticEarth posted:

You're probably tying your shoes the wrong way too.

Really though, I phrased that poorly. The top of a banana is "strong" but not in a way that requires any special effort. Rather, the peel is thicker and can have a habit of breaking at an odd or annoying point (too high, too low). The bottom just breaks more consistently.

# ? Sep 16, 2016 09:38

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

Palpek posted:

It always bugged me that he essentially just shoves the banana in his mouth rather than really eating it :mad:

# ? Sep 16, 2016 15:21

Bobby Digital: Sep 4, 2009

Jerry Cotton posted:

Life hack: VELCRO-FASTENED SHOES

Where does the meat go

# ? Sep 16, 2016 19:11

3D Megadoodoo: Nov 25, 2010

Bobby Digital posted:

Where does the meat go

In

Me

# ? Sep 16, 2016 20:18

rydiafan: Mar 17, 2009

Karate Bastard posted:

Here dumbasses y'all've been wrong this whole time an you didn't even know it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dcy-nipyTEQ

Hack this motherfuckers.

Exclusive? What the hell does that even mean?

# ? Sep 16, 2016 20:22

Pastry of the Year: Apr 12, 2013

Karate Bastard posted:

Here dumbasses y'all've been wrong this whole time an you didn't even know it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dcy-nipyTEQ

Hack this motherfuckers.

that move is so hot that he literally had a fire extinguisher in the middle of the floor

# ? Sep 16, 2016 20:24