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When I was a little kid and bored at my grandmother's house, I'd flick through her magazines. Stuff like Take A Break, Woman's Own, guff like that. Usually there'd be a section in the letters page with some really asinine "tips" like freezing toothpaste to make terrible mints, or using Pepsi cups from the cinema as tacky toothpaste holders. Fifteen years later those bullshit tips are back in a big way, with such genius pieces of advice as:  How about you just go wash your hands when you're done instead of eating like a crazy person?  This isn't a hack. This is what those yoghurt cups are designed to do. That's why they're shaped like that.  I kinda get WHY this person thought this was genius, but he's just put out more food for the ants in an attempt to get rid of ants. reddit.com/r/lifehacks posted:Self conscious about people being able to hear your fecal matter hit the toilet water? Alternatively, grow the gently caress up. Let's post our favourite examples of people who think they're so smart making up elaborate procedures for simple tasks, justifying acting like a gross child by claiming they're saving time and effort, or sharing their amazing neat tricks that are impractical, dangerous, illegal or just plain pointless.  Pre-emptive edit: It doesn't matter if somebody posts a fake one, they're still funny. Dr Snofeld has a new favorite as of 23:04 on Jul 9, 2014 |
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Jul 9, 2014 22:00
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How the gently caress is this a life hack?
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Jul 9, 2014 22:06
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When did they start being called "Life Hacks"? When I was a kid they were called "Household Hints" or something, and there were always a few in just about every newspaper or magazine. Cleaning things by rubbing half a lemon all over them was one that showed up a lot, usually it just ended up with a load of lemon pulp getting spread all over the thing you were cleaning and mixed into the dirt.
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Jul 9, 2014 22:16
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Jul 9, 2014 22:22
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I've seen this one loads and it really winds me up: You can just imagine the sort of smug prick that would do this
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Jul 9, 2014 23:03
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HopperUK posted:How the gently caress is this a life hack? Oh my god this tumblr.  Neato trick: have a specific childhood.  gently caress up the public beach like some kind of rear end in a top hat!  Awesome tip that really works: Nutella makes products for their other products!  Be aware of your privilege. You won't believe it works!
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Jul 9, 2014 23:29
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Orange Fluffy Sheep posted:
How is this loving up the beach? It's sand. Have you ever been to a beach? That poo poo will be just as flat as it ever was once the tide/a strong breeze goes by. It's pretty drat cool and I'd chill and drink some beers around the fire with that dude. Dumb life hacks? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KlA_YXDm9bg Excuse the Maddox
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Jul 10, 2014 01:23
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You could construct that amount of benches out of wood twice as fast as it would take to dig that out.
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Jul 10, 2014 01:25
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I'm assuming from the pictures posted here LifeHackable is satire/a parody. It is, right?
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Jul 10, 2014 02:17
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A Fancy 400 lbs posted:I'm assuming from the pictures posted here LifeHackable is satire/a parody. It is, right? The problem is I can't tell because half of it is reasonable low-cost solutions to common problems, and half is weird poo poo like where to move. And the strange obsession with Nutella further blurs the line. It's an actual nerdy thing and a perfect parody of nerdiness. 
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Jul 10, 2014 02:20
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Amphigory posted:I've seen this one loads and it really winds me up: I would do this, but not because I'm a smug prick. It's because I have a CD/DVD spindle I don't use anymore (because I have one of those disc sleeve books) and I don't want my bagel sandwich to fall apart in a Ziploc bag and I don't have any Tupperware containers.
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Jul 10, 2014 02:21
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Fake Pinterest (https://twitter.com/PinterestFake) is right up this threads ally.quote:DIY Fireworks: Fire your husband's machine gun into the air a bunch of times quote:Make red, white, and blue pie with strawberries, blueberries, and, well, onions? I guess? Oh god. quote:Watch a bug slowly die in a Mason Jar quote:Crumble bacon into brownie batter so that at least one thing goes right in this god forsaken world. Alright so after reading the site it seems there are a lot less lifehacks than I had thought, still worth checking out though.
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Jul 10, 2014 03:40
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Jul 10, 2014 03:45
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netwerk twerk twerk twerking it
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Jul 10, 2014 06:08
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Penny Paper posted:I would do this, but not because I'm a smug prick. It's because I have a CD/DVD spindle I don't use anymore (because I have one of those disc sleeve books) and I don't want my bagel sandwich to fall apart in a Ziploc bag and I don't have any Tupperware containers. If you do this - just know I will be judging you from afar
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Jul 10, 2014 08:26
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Penny Paper posted:I would do this, but not because I'm a smug prick. It's because I have a CD/DVD spindle I don't use anymore (because I have one of those disc sleeve books) and I don't want my bagel sandwich to fall apart in a Ziploc bag and I don't have any Tupperware containers. Saran wrap. Edit: Although I guess that's wasteful. Buy some Tupperware, jeez. Spend $4 to make your life better. stratdax has a new favorite as of 08:34 on Jul 10, 2014 |
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Jul 10, 2014 08:29
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stratdax posted:Saran wrap. Tupperware is also generally made from food safe plastics unlike cd spindles.
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Jul 10, 2014 10:28
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Yeah, then you don't have to worry about boring a hole thorough all the non-bagel parts of the sandwich either.
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Jul 10, 2014 10:38
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 ZERE VILL BE ORDER IN MEIN SANDWICH
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Jul 10, 2014 12:01
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Does anyone have a link to some scans from a British Women's magazine that had a handy hints section mostly with using menstrual pads and tampons for life hacks (like Christmas ornaments and padding on your hips to make curves)? It had two employees from the magazine trying them out and being photographed while approving of them. Also there was a bit about putting hard boiled eggs in your coat pockets to warm your hands as well as being a snack. magic pantaloons has a new favorite as of 12:26 on Jul 10, 2014 |
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Jul 10, 2014 12:17
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magic pantaloons posted:Does anyone have a link to some scans from a British Women's magazine that had a handy hints section mostly with using menstrual pads and tampons for live hacks (like Christmas ornaments and padding on your hips to make curves)? It had two employees from the magazine trying them out and being photographed while approving of them. The two of them went by one combined name. It was something like Chezzy (Cheryl + Lizzy), although I'll be surprised if I've actually remembered it correctly. I'm pretty sure one of their tips was the frozen toothpaste as mints one.
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Jul 10, 2014 12:26
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Tiggum posted:The two of them went by one combined name. It was something like Chezzy (Cheryl + Lizzy), although I'll be surprised if I've actually remembered it correctly. I'm pretty sure one of their tips was the frozen toothpaste as mints one. It was posted in one of the Funny Pictures threads a few years ago and then saw it again in an Imgur gallery. Oh god, now I remember the frozen toothpaste mints. edit: I found a link http://heroofswitzerland.blogspot.com.au/search/label/Top%20Tips  edit2: This is pretty an everyday thing in Australia 
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Jul 10, 2014 12:36
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Honestly, if you can't afford a handful of mints, you shouldn't really be hosting a dinner party. That's the cheapest part of the entire meal.
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Jul 10, 2014 13:37
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I love the little bubble saying "These are great but holy poo poo ONLY EAT ONE."
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Jul 10, 2014 13:49
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http://lifehacker.com/hack-the-chipotle-burrito-bowl-for-more-meat-by-orderin-1006571055 tl;dr: maximize the amount of meat you get at chipotle by not only ordering nothing but a giant pile of meat and guac, but doing it in the spergiest and most annoying way possible
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Jul 10, 2014 14:24
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Dangit Ronpaul posted:http://lifehacker.com/hack-the-chipotle-burrito-bowl-for-more-meat-by-orderin-1006571055 This one also works if you don't like going out to eat, because after seeing you order a big old plate of meat with guacamole dumped on it, nobody will ever invite you out to eat again, you disgusting loser.
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Jul 10, 2014 14:29
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Buzzfeed article, but more of those 'Top Tips': http://www.buzzfeed.com/ailbhemalone/25-astonishingly-useless-tips-found-in-womens-magazines edit: And this http://fuckyourlifehacks.tumblr.com/ magic pantaloons has a new favorite as of 14:34 on Jul 10, 2014 |
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Jul 10, 2014 14:29
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magic pantaloons posted:Buzzfeed article, but more of those 'Top Tips': I really like that eating utensil clock though 
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Jul 10, 2014 17:36
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You can fertilize your lawn with old motor oil.
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Jul 10, 2014 17:38
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One neat trick to keep your house cool in summer is to fill the entire building with ice. edit: Another weird trick to keep your house warm in winter is to fill the entire building with mice. This one was passed down by my great grandmother - if you have trouble eating food in tin cans, take the food out of the can first. The empty tin can can also be used as a hat for the food if you turn it upside down. SLOSifl has a new favorite as of 18:31 on Jul 10, 2014 |
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Jul 10, 2014 18:27
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 this one's really gross. Now your hoodie is gonna be all gross and greasy and smell like oil. Bleergh. Edit:  man am I glad that I have a perfectly empty and huge room just so I can make a book igloo. And I'm really glad I'll never get to read any of the ones in the middle again, because then the igloo will tumble the gently caress down around my ears. I wish there was a case that would hold my books. Oh well, that'll never happen. FluxFaun has a new favorite as of 19:16 on Jul 10, 2014 |
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Jul 10, 2014 19:13
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As if their hair isn't greasy and smelly as poo poo?
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Jul 10, 2014 19:14
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Sex tips count as a lifehack, right? Men's Health posted:1. "Hold her gaze for a minute. If she's blinking more than normal (which is about 15 times a minute), there's a good chance she's on the Pill; women on birth control blink 32 percent more than those who aren't.” Cosmo posted:8. "Chew a small piece of mango… then take him in your mouth. You can use whatever fruit you have, just don't try anything too acidic, as it can burn him." From here and here.
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Jul 10, 2014 20:16
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Wanamingo posted:Sex tips count as a lifehack, right? These people have to have the worse sex lives ever and they're intent on making everyone elses miserable as hell too.
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Jul 10, 2014 20:56
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Wanamingo posted:Sex tips count as a lifehack, right? Reminds me of the  Grapefruit Technique. Edit: Oh my God.  
FutonForensic has a new favorite as of 21:26 on Jul 10, 2014 |
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Jul 10, 2014 21:24
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Sociopastry posted:
Just don't use a hoody then !  E: Does Wikihow count as Life Hacks ? quote:How to Be Loved Fathis Munk has a new favorite as of 21:34 on Jul 10, 2014 |
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Jul 10, 2014 21:25
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FutonForensic posted:Reminds me of the Oh god, imagine trying to go to bed after a night of drinking with these goddamn stairs in your way
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Jul 10, 2014 21:46
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That is probably the worst picture they could of used. That thing is just starring through your loveless shell of a body. They couldn't of come up with a better one?
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Jul 10, 2014 22:08
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Grossness of literally feeding your guests toothpaste aside, isn't a tube of toothpaste way more expensive than just getting a roll of mentos and dumping them in a bowl?
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Jul 10, 2014 22:59
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Stalin McHitler posted:Oh god, imagine trying to go to bed after a night of drinking with these goddamn stairs in your way The lack of structural support, the lack of a railing, and the knee-high steps are bad enough, but what really takes the cake is the pointy bauble on the steps. It's a deliberate death trap!
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Jul 10, 2014 23:03
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