Apple got rid of the headphone jack

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Apple got rid of the headphone jack

Germstore: Oct 17, 2012; A Serious Candidate For a Serious Time

loquacius posted:

It seemed inherently nonsensical to me because optical mice don't have a trackball at all but I guess an optical trackball has the ball AND the lasers. Modern technology!

I was thinking more like a boil or like a huge blister but yeah same general idea

the trackball must have a ball to track, but the tracking is now done optically instead of with rollers.

# ? Sep 16, 2016 19:07

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# ? May 15, 2024 16:29

revmoo: May 25, 2006; #basta

Germstore posted:

The audience is the same audience trackballs have always had. Of course they are optical now.

Trackball people are loving weird

# ? Sep 16, 2016 19:10

Germstore: Oct 17, 2012; A Serious Candidate For a Serious Time

I used a trackball for years with a tiny rear end laptop desk because of limited space.

# ? Sep 16, 2016 19:12

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

I feel like there is some potential for some sort of joke about "jacking Off" here, anyone have any ideas? wanna workshop this one with me?

# ? Sep 16, 2016 19:13

FedEx Mercury: Jan 7, 2004; Me bad posting? That's unpossible!; Lipstick Apathy

Germstore posted:

the trackball must have a ball to track, but the tracking is now done optically instead of with rollers.

They still need the rollers to physically hold the ball, but now there's a vision system as well, hah

# ? Sep 16, 2016 19:13

Genderfluent: Jul 15, 2015

ConstantDelays posted:

Same but 2 buttons, ideally a scroll-wheel, and I don't care who made it.
Somehow Apple can't even meet that standard.

The apple mouse uses gestures, which actually gives you more control over what the mouse does buddy.

# ? Sep 16, 2016 19:35

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

Something like "they are taking the headphone JACK OFF(!) of the phone" I don't know just trying to get the ball rolling here

# ? Sep 16, 2016 19:37

Novo: May 13, 2003; ^{Stercorem pro cerebro habes}; Soiled Meat

Nooner posted:

I feel like there is some potential for some sort of joke about "jacking Off" here, anyone have any ideas? wanna workshop this one with me?

someone already referred to this as "jack-off gate", I think we should try to make it stick

# ? Sep 16, 2016 19:43

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Nooner posted:

Something like "they are taking the headphone JACK OFF(!) of the phone" I don't know just trying to get the ball rolling here

Apple engineers are jacking off over haptic feedback!!!

# ? Sep 16, 2016 19:43

ConstantDelays: Jan 1, 2013

Nooner posted:

Something like "they are taking the headphone JACK OFF(!) of the phone" I don't know just trying to get the ball rolling here

How about 'whoever made the decision to remove the headphone jack must be a real JACK OFF'?

# ? Sep 16, 2016 19:45

fishing with the fam: Feb 29, 2008; Durr

Nick Cage: "I wanna take its jack...off!"

# ? Sep 16, 2016 19:59

VectorSigma: Jan 20, 2004; Transform
and
Freak Out

shouldn't it be a headphone jill? it's female after all

# ? Sep 16, 2016 20:00

a bone to pick: Sep 14, 2011; by FactsAreUseless

Maybe it should be Headphone Jane Doe since she's missing.

a bone to pick fucked around with this message at 20:04 on Sep 16, 2016

# ? Sep 16, 2016 20:02

blugu64: Jul 17, 2006; Do you realize that fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous communist plot we have ever had to face?

Trackballs are great if your keyboard doesn't have a Trackpoint

# ? Sep 16, 2016 20:05

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

blugu64 posted:

Trackballs are great if your keyboard doesn't have a Trackpoint

I think this guy is just a big fan of BALLS in general :grin:

# ? Sep 16, 2016 20:06

personable decorum: Sep 7, 2016; by FactsAreUseless

Nooner posted:

I think this guy is just a big fan of BALLS in general

I prefer nutz, but tbh everyone needs a social worker appointment once in awhile

# ? Sep 16, 2016 20:07

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

them apple boiz are all gonna go blind what with all this jacking off!!

# ? Sep 16, 2016 20:09

personable decorum: Sep 7, 2016; by FactsAreUseless

it sucks when u just turn off and tune out eh people call u a robocop ;f

# ? Sep 16, 2016 20:09

OXBALLS DOT COM: Sep 11, 2005; by FactsAreUseless; Young Orc

blugu64 posted:

Trackballs are great if your keyboard doesn't have a Trackpoint

Nooner posted:

I think this guy is just a big fan of BALLS in general

Clitmouse best mouse

# ? Sep 16, 2016 20:57

Mithaldu: Sep 25, 2007; Let's cuddle.

Serious talk, trackballs are great for people who have trouble moving their shoulder/elbow/wrist or any combination thereof.

# ? Sep 16, 2016 23:52

CaptainSarcastic: Jul 6, 2013

Mithaldu posted:

Serious talk, trackballs are great for people who have trouble moving their shoulder/elbow/wrist or any combination thereof.

Yeah, I've known a few people over the years who swore by them.

# ? Sep 17, 2016 00:00

KakerMix: Apr 8, 2004; 8.2 M.P.G.

I have a trackball for the living room computer because lol at a mouse on the couch. It works well enough considering the context.

# ? Sep 17, 2016 00:14

XMNN: Apr 26, 2008; I am incredibly stupid

whats wrong with a mouse on the couch

# ? Sep 17, 2016 00:21

thoughts and prayers: Apr 22, 2013; Love heals all wounds. We hope you continually carry love in your heart. Today and always, may loving memories bring you peace, comfort, and strength. We sympathize with the family of (Name). We shall never forget you in our prayers and thoughts. I am at a loss for words during this sorrowful time.

loquacius posted:

Apple could literally tell its fans they have to eat poo poo if they want a new iPhone, and they'd all be on the Internet the next day talking about how really poo poo doesn't taste that bad (have you tried it??? that's what I thought!!!), and it's not a big deal because you just swallow it in one go without chewing and then it's over and you have an awesome new iPhone, and everyone needs to stop being a drama queen about it already, etc etc etc

Yeah, no

It's one of the to 10 most valuable companies in the world, a HUGE number of people use Apple products across all ages, social strata, education levels, technical savviness, etcetera. There is no such thing as an 'Apple Fan' because you can find anyone in their user base.

You are really an idiot child that needs to make up wild stories about people that don't exist to massage your tenderhole, that's great, a literally tiny difference in a computer product is enough to make such wild value judgments, etcetera.

Do yourself a favor and read up on 'the narcissism of small differences' and grok what it means while you can, because if you really still believed all this poo poo after, say, age 28 when your brain actually fully forms, then that would be incredibly sad.

# ? Sep 17, 2016 00:32

CaptainSarcastic: Jul 6, 2013

a happy snowman posted:

Yeah, no

It's one of the to 10 most valuable companies in the world, a HUGE number of people use Apple products across all ages, social strata, education levels, technical savviness, etcetera. There is no such thing as an 'Apple Fan' because you can find anyone in their user base.

You are really an idiot child that needs to make up wild stories about people that don't exist to massage your tenderhole, that's great, a literally tiny difference in a computer product is enough to make such wild value judgments, etcetera.

Do yourself a favor and read up on 'the narcissism of small differences' and grok what it means while you can, because if you really still believed all this poo poo after, say, age 28 when your brain actually fully forms, then that would be incredibly sad.

# ? Sep 17, 2016 00:34

KakerMix: Apr 8, 2004; 8.2 M.P.G.

XMNN posted:

whats wrong with a mouse on the couch

My dick is so huge that I don't have to room to mouse it up obv

a happy snowman posted:

Yeah, no

It's one of the to 10 most valuable companies in the world, a HUGE number of people use Apple products across all ages, social strata, education levels, technical savviness, etcetera. There is no such thing as an 'Apple Fan' because you can find anyone in their user base.

You are really an idiot child that needs to make up wild stories about people that don't exist to massage your tenderhole, that's great, a literally tiny difference in a computer product is enough to make such wild value judgments, etcetera.

Do yourself a favor and read up on 'the narcissism of small differences' and grok what it means while you can, because if you really still believed all this poo poo after, say, age 28 when your brain actually fully forms, then that would be incredibly sad.

Source your quotes otherwise I'm going to source this one but say it's from "a nice meltdown"

# ? Sep 17, 2016 00:42

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

a happy snowman posted:

Yeah, no

It's one of the to 10 most valuable companies in the world, a HUGE number of people use Apple products across all ages, social strata, education levels, technical savviness, etcetera. There is no such thing as an 'Apple Fan' because you can find anyone in their user base.

You are really an idiot child that needs to make up wild stories about people that don't exist to massage your tenderhole, that's great, a literally tiny difference in a computer product is enough to make such wild value judgments, etcetera.

Do yourself a favor and read up on 'the narcissism of small differences' and grok what it means while you can, because if you really still believed all this poo poo after, say, age 28 when your brain actually fully forms, then that would be incredibly sad.

lmao

# ? Sep 17, 2016 01:11

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

a happy snowman posted:

Yeah, no

It's one of the to 10 most valuable companies in the world, a HUGE number of people use Apple products across all ages, social strata, education levels, technical savviness, etcetera. There is no such thing as an 'Apple Fan' because you can find anyone in their user base.

You are really an idiot child that needs to make up wild stories about people that don't exist to massage your tenderhole, that's great, a literally tiny difference in a computer product is enough to make such wild value judgments, etcetera.

Do yourself a favor and read up on 'the narcissism of small differences' and grok what it means while you can, because if you really still believed all this poo poo after, say, age 28 when your brain actually fully forms, then that would be incredibly sad.

lmfao

# ? Sep 17, 2016 01:12

Vegetable: Oct 22, 2010

a happy snowman posted:

Yeah, no

It's one of the to 10 most valuable companies in the world, a HUGE number of people use Apple products across all ages, social strata, education levels, technical savviness, etcetera. There is no such thing as an 'Apple Fan' because you can find anyone in their user base.

You are really an idiot child that needs to make up wild stories about people that don't exist to massage your tenderhole, that's great, a literally tiny difference in a computer product is enough to make such wild value judgments, etcetera.

Do yourself a favor and read up on 'the narcissism of small differences' and grok what it means while you can, because if you really still believed all this poo poo after, say, age 28 when your brain actually fully forms, then that would be incredibly sad.

keep going im cumming

# ? Sep 17, 2016 01:13

corn in the bible: Jun 5, 2004; Oh no oh god it's all true!

the narcissism of happy snowmans

# ? Sep 17, 2016 01:13

Nic Cage dick cage: Jun 23, 2009; Lipstick Apathy

a happy snowman posted:

Yeah, no

It's one of the to 10 most valuable companies in the world, a HUGE number of people use Apple products across all ages, social strata, education levels, technical savviness, etcetera. There is no such thing as an 'Apple Fan' because you can find anyone in their user base.

You are really an idiot child that needs to make up wild stories about people that don't exist to massage your tenderhole, that's great, a literally tiny difference in a computer product is enough to make such wild value judgments, etcetera.

Do yourself a favor and read up on 'the narcissism of small differences' and grok what it means while you can, because if you really still believed all this poo poo after, say, age 28 when your brain actually fully forms, then that would be incredibly sad.

You are that upset guy with the hair and sunglasses and hand over mouth from the picture aren't you? Yes.

# ? Sep 17, 2016 01:17

Away all Goats: Jul 5, 2005; Goose's rebellion

a happy snowman posted:

Yeah, no

It's one of the to 10 most valuable companies in the world, a HUGE number of people use Apple products across all ages, social strata, education levels, technical savviness, etcetera. There is no such thing as an 'Apple Fan' because you can find anyone in their user base.

You are really an idiot child that needs to make up wild stories about people that don't exist to massage your tenderhole, that's great, a literally tiny difference in a computer product is enough to make such wild value judgments, etcetera.

Do yourself a favor and read up on 'the narcissism of small differences' and grok what it means while you can, because if you really still believed all this poo poo after, say, age 28 when your brain actually fully forms, then that would be incredibly sad.

How was the line up today

# ? Sep 17, 2016 01:36

LethalGeek: Nov 4, 2009

a happy snowman posted:

Yeah, no

It's one of the to 10 most valuable companies in the world, a HUGE number of people use Apple products across all ages, social strata, education levels, technical savviness, etcetera. There is no such thing as an 'Apple Fan' because you can find anyone in their user base.

You are really an idiot child that needs to make up wild stories about people that don't exist to massage your tenderhole, that's great, a literally tiny difference in a computer product is enough to make such wild value judgments, etcetera.

Do yourself a favor and read up on 'the narcissism of small differences' and grok what it means while you can, because if you really still believed all this poo poo after, say, age 28 when your brain actually fully forms, then that would be incredibly sad.

bwahahahahahaha

# ? Sep 17, 2016 01:43

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

a happy snowman posted:

Yeah, no

It's one of the to 10 most valuable companies in the world, a HUGE number of people use Apple products across all ages, social strata, education levels, technical savviness, etcetera. There is no such thing as an 'Apple Fan' because you can find anyone in their user base.

You are really an idiot child that needs to make up wild stories about people that don't exist to massage your tenderhole, that's great, a literally tiny difference in a computer product is enough to make such wild value judgments, etcetera.

Do yourself a favor and read up on 'the narcissism of small differences' and grok what it means while you can, because if you really still believed all this poo poo after, say, age 28 when your brain actually fully forms, then that would be incredibly sad.

Yo calm down

# ? Sep 17, 2016 01:48

blugu64: Jul 17, 2006; Do you realize that fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous communist plot we have ever had to face?

grok

# ? Sep 17, 2016 01:59

thathonkey: Jul 17, 2012

all i know is i wouldnt be caught dead texting a hot babe with green speech bubbles 😵

# ? Sep 17, 2016 02:01

revmoo: May 25, 2006; #basta

a happy snowman posted:

Yeah, no

It's one of the to 10 most valuable companies in the world, a HUGE number of people use Apple products across all ages, social strata, education levels, technical savviness, etcetera. There is no such thing as an 'Apple Fan' because you can find anyone in their user base.

You are really an idiot child that needs to make up wild stories about people that don't exist to massage your tenderhole, that's great, a literally tiny difference in a computer product is enough to make such wild value judgments, etcetera.

Do yourself a favor and read up on 'the narcissism of small differences' and grok what it means while you can, because if you really still believed all this poo poo after, say, age 28 when your brain actually fully forms, then that would be incredibly sad.

Haha loving quoting this

# ? Sep 17, 2016 02:05