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Aww, the way the cardboard looks in the image, I thought it was a sweet skateboard ramp at first.
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Sep 17, 2016 22:45
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Corpsesquote:I have some pretty... weird ideas concerning corpses, and I've openly stated and proven that I'm not afraid to kill someone, if it wasn't for the fact I can't stop thinking about the long-term effects. So, when people bring both up, girls tend to look at me with concerned glances. I reassure them with a simple "Don't worry, if I happened to find you dead, I'd keep in mind our wordlessly established,physical contact boundaries... I mean, not that I wouldn't keep in mind those boundaries any other time, just, I mean... yeah, you know what, everyone gets the message here. Ensign quote:As of June 2008, and probably until about three-quarters through my current tour, I am Ensign Newbie. As is every other junior officer who checked onto my US Navy cruiser at the same time as me. Our ranks are even actually "Ensign". What's worse, Real Life doesn't always act like fiction and so due to admin issues, I currently have no experienced Chief Petty Officer to keep me from wandering completely clueless down the passageway. This is the unfortunate result of the Navy doing away with its preliminary Surface Warfare Officer school before new Ensigns check on board. Each officer is expected to learn on the job. There's probably too many tales in this to tell, but half of them basically involve someone telling me I have to go do something, and me saying, "what?" Shrugging your shoulders in puzzlement is reffered to as "the Ensign Salute". French quote:This troper's mother once told how a student somehow got himself into the French house in university without speaking any French. When some other students pointed this out, he turned to them and said "Il y a un pomplemousse sur l'autobus". Apparently the students believed him and didn't speak enough French to realize what he said ("There is a grapefruit on the bus"). Russian quote:Apparently, some silly convention-goers in the same suite as this troper believed that nothing Russian could possibly be sexy. Followed by ten minutes of agitated, disturbingly sultry babbling in what little of the language they knew mixed with threats in a terrible accent imitation. These were not terribly attractive men- and there were still girls lining up to sit at their table afterward. This troper (of the Russian accent fetish) included. Like German accents, you sound so much more authoritative... Hamster quote:This French troper is commanded every time he reveals this to essentially "Turn me on in French." It's gotten to the point that he once resorted to "Please shove a dirty hamster down your throat." Unfortunately, she did know the word for hamster so it didn't work.
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Sep 18, 2016 02:03
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Khazar-khum posted:Hamster Wow, finally, FINALLY one of his sex partners figured out what "le hamster" meant. He should marry that girl. Smart as a whip, that one. edit: The other French one is weird, too. Assuming the "troper" is in Canada...is there any Canadian who attends university who NEVER took a French class and wouldn't know what the word "mange" means? Anyone? Buellér? Fleta Mcgurn has a new favorite as of 02:42 on Sep 18, 2016 |
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Sep 18, 2016 02:39
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post="464364769" posted:I've openly stated and proven that I'm not afraid to kill someone Internetest of tough guys.
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Sep 18, 2016 04:43
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Wait is that first guy saying he wants to gently caress corpses? Because that's what it sounds like. 
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Sep 18, 2016 04:57
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CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:Wait is that first guy saying he wants to gently caress corpses? Because that's what it sounds like. No, see, he's graciously telling his female friend that he wouldn't gently caress her corpse, even if he had the opportunity. What a hero.
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Sep 18, 2016 05:04
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I am more than capable of killing a human being and I totally would have done it already if it weren't for the fact I can't stop thinking about sticking my dick in a dead body
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Sep 18, 2016 05:09
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Moon Slayer posted:No, see, he's graciously telling his female friend that he wouldn't gently caress her corpse, even if he had the opportunity. What a hero. Fact. Not once have I ever thought of loving a corpse, let alone found myself in the need of assuring someone I wouldn't gently caress theirs. Edit. I wonder if it was this genius edgy gentleman who wrote this https://youtu.be/9ViOAUNuq58
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Sep 18, 2016 05:12
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I believe the ensign one. It's just a long winded way of saying "They started us at bottom rank and expected us to learn on the job, but I didn't know poo poo"
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Sep 18, 2016 07:11
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Moon Slayer posted:No, see, he's graciously telling his female friend that he wouldn't gently caress her corpse, even if he had the opportunity. What a hero. No, he's too much of a Nice Guy to gently caress her corpse. Now, if someone else should kill her or she ended up dead some other way, he wouldn't have to be such a gentleman.
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Sep 18, 2016 08:28
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some troper posted:I've openly stated and proven that I'm not afraid to kill someone Stated and proven? Is he saying he's actually killed people before? Sneaky way of qualifying for this thread.
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Sep 18, 2016 09:50
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Khazar-khum posted:No, he's too much of a Nice Guy to gently caress her corpse. Now, if someone else should kill her or she ended up dead some other way, he wouldn't have to be such a gentleman. Why put this on the Internet??? Do you think he felt the trademark Troper brand of smug self satisfaction when he posted this? What the gently caress e: WE'RE SUCH GOOD FRIENDS I WOULDN'T SLAM MY COCK INTO YOUR ROTTING FETID HOLE AND I FEEL THE NEED TO LET THE INTERNET KNOW I TOLD YOU THIS
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Sep 18, 2016 09:53
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Xen Tricks posted:Why put this on the Internet??? Do you think he felt the trademark Troper brand of smug self satisfaction when he posted this? What the gently caress "I'D respect your precious body, unlike all those Chad Thundercocks who would treat your corpse like trash".
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Sep 18, 2016 11:05
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This Troper: "You don't have to be worried about me molesting your still warm corpse just FYI" Fake Person: "I wasn't before but I am now" This Troper: *dashes off to tell imgur what a gentleman he is (typing with one hand whilst masterbating furiously)* Einstein: *applauds*
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Sep 18, 2016 13:21
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Why would I care what someone did with my corpse? Is he just implying that he wouldn't kill someone to have sex with him who may be denying sex while they are living? Is it a threat? What is believable is the writing of a corpsefucker would be this bad.
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Sep 18, 2016 14:09
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Sep 18, 2016 18:02
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I know I'm not the first one here to mention STDH screencaps that include a useless comment, but seriously they're like a canned laugh track on a lovely sitcom.
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Sep 18, 2016 18:18
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WrenP-Complete posted:Why would I care what someone did with my corpse? Is he just implying that he wouldn't kill someone to have sex with him who may be denying sex while they are living? Is it a threat? What is believable is the writing of a corpsefucker would be this bad. There is no way to parse that where he isn't a killer looking for a victim.
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Sep 19, 2016 06:21
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Guyquote:I'm the nicest guy you know, but most (if not all) animals cause a ruckus around me (until I look at them menacingly; no joke), but will usually stop soon. Plane quote:This Tropers natural laughs ALWAYS sound evil and creepy, such that his cousin (who is in his thirties, a former army man, and owns several firearms) once demanded that he change it (and seemed to make an effort to stop saying funny things thereafter), a plane full of people kept turning to look at him disturbed when Only Fools And Horses was showing, and his brother has said that everytime he laughs, a puppy dies. It is not helped by the fact that this Troper tends to burst out laughing at complete random. Science quote:This troper has two natural laughs, depending on how much air is in her lungs when she starts laughing — a childish wheeze, and a full-bodied chuckle that several friends and family members (coming to the conclusion independently) tell me is a "mad scientist laugh". Add this to my obsession with science for science's sake, my love of wearing a lab coat whenever I can find an excuse to and the fact that I went out of my way to obtain a coffee cup shaped like a laboratory beaker Jock quote:In high school, this editor once referred to an obnoxious jock at a lunch table as a "masticating homo sapien" and only avoided a pummeling when a teacher intervened. Upon learning what I had said, the teacher advised me that it wasn't nice to play with them like that. Spider quote:This troper, who works the night shift at a major international retailer that rhymes with "stalwart", was in receiving one night only to see a giant spider prop for Halloween hung up on a cart for lugging around stock. So he told the receiving manager "I see you have a brobdingnagian arachnid affixed to your conveyance." He gave himself kudos for working the word "brobdingnagian" into ordinary conversation. Kryptonium quote:Subverted with This Troper: Frequently, people will try to pretend to be as smart as me by throwing out random math terms (and occasionally random chemistry terms) but they always end up looking like total idiots. Notable examples include:
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Sep 19, 2016 09:14
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GRAAAAH I WANT TO PUNCH THEM ALL SO SO SO HARD
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Sep 19, 2016 13:27
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Mr. Belpit posted:I know I'm not the first one here to mention STDH screencaps that include a useless comment, but seriously they're like a canned laugh track on a lovely sitcom. THAT FUNNY THO
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Sep 19, 2016 13:28
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The gently caress does that Kryptonium one even mean? My eyes glaze over when I try to parse it.
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Sep 19, 2016 13:32
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gschmidl posted:The gently caress does that Kryptonium one even mean? My eyes glaze over when I try to parse it. You're watching a troper slowly disappear up their own rear end. Is there no one on TV Tropes to mock these people? To make them know shame?
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Sep 19, 2016 13:41
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Khazar-khum posted:
This guy thinks people are creeped out by his "evil laugh" when in reality they just want him to shut the gently caress up, since he's clearly forcing it to seem edgy.
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Sep 19, 2016 14:00
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Khazar-khum posted:Spider I absolutely believe this one, because they didn't record any reaction from their manager (who probably stared at them for a second and then returned to their desk). What do you think are the odds of them even having read past the first book of Gulliver's Travels?
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Sep 19, 2016 14:19
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Khazar-khum posted:Kryptonium 
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Sep 19, 2016 16:19
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Electric Lady posted:I absolutely believe this one, because they didn't record any reaction from their manager (who probably stared at them for a second and then returned to their desk). Shoot, if that's the over/under, I pick under and doubt he even picked up the book in his life. I think I sprained my eyes rolling them at him giving himself kudos.
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Sep 19, 2016 16:27
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[quote="Jonas Albrecht" post=""464411880"] Is there no one on TV Tropes to mock these people? To make them know shame? [/quote] It's literally not allowed to make people feel uncomfortable. If I remember correctly, they banned a 15 year old for being upset a 30 something was hitting on her, and she'd called him out for being a creep.
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Sep 19, 2016 16:34
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Avenging_Mikon posted:It's literally not allowed to make people feel uncomfortable. If I remember correctly, they banned a 15 year old for being upset a 30 something was hitting on her, and she'd called him out for being a creep. The no negativity rule or some such. So you can go full Hitler and if someone calls you out then they're the dick for calling you out
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Sep 19, 2016 16:35
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Furia posted:The no negativity rule or some such. So you can go full Hitler and if someone calls you out then they're the dick for calling you out You can insult whole entire populations if that's your true honest belief, just don't make it personal!   Somethign something geek social fallacies.
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Sep 19, 2016 16:47
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Khazar-khum posted:Spider Stalwart does not rhyme with Walmart though...
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Sep 19, 2016 21:52
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It probably does if you are fourteen and have only ever seen it written in poo poo fantasy novels?
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Sep 19, 2016 22:32
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Even if you pronounce it that way it's a slant rhyme, which is the worst type of rhyme
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Sep 19, 2016 22:42
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NonzeroCircle posted:It probably does if you are fourteen and have only ever seen it written in poo poo fantasy novels? This is a troper though. They probably relish in the opportunity to say that poo poo out loud. (Could be a southern accent I guess for "Walmart", that's a little closer)
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Sep 19, 2016 22:48
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Taken from Tumblr. quote:So I heard this story second-hand, many years ago, but the gist was that a friend of a friend lived in what was generally considered a bad neighborhood, because he was a super poor college student and it was what he could afford. He didn’t have any furniture, he just slept on a blanket on the floor and had a milk crate for a chair and like an old wire spool as a table. No TV, nothing in the fridge, no microwave, basically just bare walls and a roof to keep the weather off. So one day he comes home, and there’s a man in his apartment, just standing there, with this look of utter amazement and horror on his face, and he turns to the guy who’s just entered and says, “This your place? ‘cause I broke in to rob you, but poo poo, man, you ain’t got nothin’. Wait here, I’m’a be right back.” And the burglar left, leaving a puzzled college student alone in his empty apartment. But sure enough, the burglar came back a while later, and brought some friends, and they delivered a table, a couple of chairs, and a small TV. “I think I got you a bed, too, but that might take a couple days.”
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Sep 19, 2016 23:38
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^^^^ Oh please please can we get more of the "I wrote a full story in response to a tired Tumblr joke" genre? sweeperbravo posted:You can insult whole entire populations if that's your true honest belief, just don't make it personal! People mocking/getting angry at safe spaces always amuses me because it's the people most absolutely incapable of handling criticism or mockery that do so.
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Sep 20, 2016 00:05
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Xen Tricks posted:^^^^ Same but with political correctness.
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Sep 20, 2016 00:32
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Xen Tricks posted:People mocking/getting angry at safe spaces always amuses me because it's the people most absolutely incapable of handling criticism or mockery that do so. Well yeah and the weirdest part is that they were trying to posit themselves AS a safe space, but for nerds, to never have to be picked on or yelled at for behaving in a socially unacceptable way. There, everything was socially acceptable except telling someone that something they, personally, did or said, was socially unacceptable. AFAIK there wasn't anything political behind it, this was long before trigger warnings and stuff became internet controversial buzzwords. It was like, it's ok if you hurt someone's feelings by accident because reality is subjective and maybe Aryans ARE the superior race, I mean we can't possibly know for sure, right?, but don't tell off that guy that's hitting on an underage chick, that hurt his personal feelings!
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Sep 20, 2016 00:47
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chitoryu12 posted:Taken from Tumblr. Although not common on the Discworld there are, indeed, such things as anti-crimes, in accordance with the fundamental law that everything in the multiverse has an opposite. They are, obviously, rare. Merely, giving someone something is not the opposite of robbery; to be an anti-crime, it has to be done in such a way as to cause outrage and/or humiliation to the victim. So there is breaking-and-decorating, proffering-with-embarrassment (as in most retirement presentations) and whitemailing (as in threatening to reveal to his enemies a mobster’s secret donations, for example, to charity). Anti-crimes have never really caught on
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Sep 20, 2016 04:15
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Haircutquote:This troper's father once tried to make me like my horrible new bowl cut by saying this "Guys will want to be you, and girls will want to be you." As a teenager and troper, my response was as follows Lightning quote:This troper has been struck by lightning. Twice. First time hurt like a bitch, but the second was kinda fun. Kiss quote:This troper had his in a game of Truth or Dare with a friend. Despite being one of the most perverted of my friends, I felt physically sick for a while afterwards. In a semi-inversion, I still count it because I think takebacks are cheap. And because, as I said, "girlfriends come and go, but nakama last forever" and it created Memetic Mutation for the phrase "chicken skins" College quote:This troper still hasn't had his first kiss...and he's in college. Please, END ME. Chick quote:This troper is The Chick out of my group of friends. I alomost got offended when I was told this by our The Hero, but I soon found out that you don't always have to be a chick to fill the role. Degrees quote:This troper does this a lot. She concentrates so intently that she can actually heat up a room by a good five degrees. Once she gets going, nothing stops her. ...This article just reminded her that she hasn't had breakfast or lunch, today. Seriously. Birds quote:This troper often finds herself being followed by birds. Heck, when I was eating lunch outside, an EAGLE landed next to me and was friendly. I gave it some of the stale meatloaf my Mom gave me. It had too much tomato in it anyway... :P
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Sep 20, 2016 09:11
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