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Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮
Congrats to the Hoops on winning your first trophy since 1997. Shame of the league now belongs to, you guessed it, Chicago, who have not won a major trophy since 2006.

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whypick1
Dec 18, 2009

Just another jackass on the Internet
Huh, would've actually guessed New England, but Chicago has them beat by a year:

code:
Chicago Fire				2006 US Open Cup
Colorado Rapids				2010 MLS Cup
Columbus Crew SC			2009 Supporters' Shield
D.C. United				2013 US Open Cup
FC Dallas				2016 US Open Cup
Houston Dynamo				2007 MLS Cup
LA Galaxy				2014 MLS Cup
Montreal Impact				2014 Canadian Championship
New England Revolution			2007 US Open Cup
New York City FC			None
New York Red Bulls			2015 Supporters' Shield
Orlando City SC				None
Philadelphia Union			None
Portland Timbers			2015 MLS Cup
Real Salt Lake				2009 MLS Cup
San Jose Earthquakes			2012 Supporters' Shield
Seattle Sounders FC			2014 Supporters' Shield
Sporting Kansas City			2015 US Open Cup
Toronto FC				2016 Canadian Championship
Vancouver Whitecaps FC			2015 Canadian Championship

whypick1 fucked around with this message at 05:49 on Sep 14, 2016

Hungryjack
May 9, 2003


In the name of Rico Clark I hope this is true.

Hungryjack
May 9, 2003

whypick1 posted:

Huh, would've actually guessed New England, but Chicago has them beat by a year:

code:
Chicago Fire				2006 MLS Cup
Colorado Rapids				2010 MLS Cup
Columbus Crew SC			2009 Supporters' Shield
D.C. United				2013 US Open Cup
FC Dallas				2016 US Open Cup
Houston Dynamo				2007 MLS Cup
LA Galaxy				2014 MLS Cup
Montreal Impact				2014 Canadian Championship
New England Revolution			2007 US Open Cup
New York City FC			None
New York Red Bulls			2015 Supporters' Shield
Orlando City SC				None
Philadelphia Union			None
Portland Timbers			2015 MLS Cup
Real Salt Lake				2009 MLS Cup
San Jose Earthquakes			2012 Supporters' Shield
Seattle Sounders FC			2014 Supporters' Shield
Sporting Kansas City			2015 US Open Cup
Toronto FC				2016 Canadian Championship
Vancouver Whitecaps FC			2015 Canadian Championship

Ah yes, the Chicago Fire, winners of the 2006 MLS Cup.

Wait, what?

whypick1
Dec 18, 2009

Just another jackass on the Internet
I don't know what you're talking about...:ninja:

Your Boy Fancy
Feb 7, 2003

by Cyrano4747

CaptainYesterday posted:

Draft Draft set for October 16. Like two years ago, the new clubs will alternate which player acquisition method they want a higher number in. These are:

-Expansion Draft
-SuperDraft
-Player Allocation
-Waiver and Re-entry Draft
-Discovery Player Ranking
-USL/NASL Player Priority Ranking

I love this stupid rear end league and if you don't you're wrong

Seltzer
Oct 11, 2012

Ask me about Game Pass: the Best Deal in Gaming!
I hope when Ronaldo/Messi retires to mls every team throws 1 million into a pot and the team who acquires the player is picked out of a hat.

foobardog
Apr 19, 2007

There, now I can tell when you're posting.

-- A friend :)

Seltzer posted:

I hope when Ronaldo/Messi retires to mls every team throws 1 million into a pot and the team who acquires the player is picked out of a hat.

You say that as if they wouldn't be the banner player to cement the Miami Beckhams.

Azerban
Oct 28, 2003



Seltzer posted:

I hope when Ronaldo/Messi retires to mls every team throws 1 million into a pot and the team who acquires the player is picked out of a hat.

has to play for a random team every week

somehow the la galaxy win the draw last 6 weeks of the season

Seltzer
Oct 11, 2012

Ask me about Game Pass: the Best Deal in Gaming!
I just saw that HGPs are protected from the Expansion Draft on top of the 11 players that teams choose to lock in. That is better for us but still... we're gonna lose somebody.

e- I'm sort of surprised DPs and or TAM players aren't protected. I didn't pay attention last draft so I didn't remember

Seltzer fucked around with this message at 23:58 on Sep 14, 2016

Seltzer
Oct 11, 2012

Ask me about Game Pass: the Best Deal in Gaming!
I'm bored so I looked at our roster to see who would most likely be unprotected. 28 players - 6 HGPs - 11 protected players - Damari whos loan expires end of season which means we'll have 10 players up for grabs.

I predict we'll leave these 10 unprotected.
-Grella
-Zizzo
-Meara
-Bilyeu
-Zubar
-Reynish
-Duvall
-Shaun Wright Phillips
-Abang
-Ouimette

None of these players leaving aside from Grella would really bother me to be honest. I'd miss Zizzo for just being poo poo too I guess. Lade is an HGP and just as good as Duvall. Out of our constantly injured center back pool Baah and Perrinelle are way better than Zubar and Zubar comes with the same injury liabilities. Idk if the Abang project has been abandoned yet or not, I have no idea how his loan spell is going. Bilyeu, Duvall, Grella, and maybe Zubar could be poached from that list. Feeling less worried now,

whypick1
Dec 18, 2009

Just another jackass on the Internet
I got bored too, so Seattle:

HGP/GA
Darwin Jones - HGP
Aaron Kovar - HGP
Victor Mansaray - HGP
Jordan Morris - HGP
Cristian Roldan - GA (not sure if he's the automatically-protected GA, if not one of the guys in the lower list needs to go)

Dudes who will probably retire
Hérculez Gómez
Zach Scott - He's got to retire one of these years...right? :ohdear:

Who I think will be protected
Tony Alfaro - This drat well better happen because he's our future CB
Osvaldo Alonso
Oalex Anderson
Clint Dempsey - DP
Brad Evans - I don't necessarily want this to happen, but think it will
Stefan Frei
Andreas Ivanschitz - I can see the arguments leaving him off, but he's our best overall dead-ball guy
Joevin Jones
Nicolás Lodeiro - DP (HANDS OFF OUR URUGUAYAN JESUS)
Chad Marshall
Román Torres

Unprotected
Michael Farfan - I seriously forgot we signed him
Álvaro Fernández
Oniel Fisher
Erik Friberg
Damion Lowe - On loan to MNU so I wouldn't be surprised if he gets picked/dealt there
Charlie Lyon
Tyrone Mears - I doubt anyone is going to pick up a 34 year old RB
Tyler Miller
Jimmy Ockford - On loan to NY Cosmos
Dylan Remick
Nathan Sturgis

Need to gently caress off and die (figuratively speaking)
Nelson Valdez - DP

Your Boy Fancy
Feb 7, 2003

by Cyrano4747

Seltzer posted:

I'm bored so I looked at our roster to see who would most likely be unprotected. 28 players - 6 HGPs - 11 protected players - Damari whos loan expires end of season which means we'll have 10 players up for grabs.

I predict we'll leave these 10 unprotected.
-Grella
-Zizzo
-Meara
-Bilyeu
-Zubar
-Reynish
-Duvall
-Shaun Wright Phillips
-Abang
-Ouimette

None of these players leaving aside from Grella would really bother me to be honest.

Grella will be taken if you leave him unprotected. That's not even a question.

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

Your Boy Fancy posted:

Grella will be taken if you leave him unprotected. That's not even a question.

Undoubtedly. Duvall is great cover in the back four so I'd like to see him stay for that.

Zizzo can gently caress off assuming Lade gets fit again.

Jack2142
Jul 17, 2014

Shitposting in Seattle

whypick1 posted:

I got bored too, so Seattle:

HGP/GA
Darwin Jones - HGP
Aaron Kovar - HGP
Victor Mansaray - HGP
Jordan Morris - HGP
Cristian Roldan - GA (not sure if he's the automatically-protected GA, if not one of the guys in the lower list needs to go)

Dudes who will probably retire
Hérculez Gómez
Zach Scott - He's got to retire one of these years...right? :ohdear:

Who I think will be protected
Tony Alfaro - This drat well better happen because he's our future CB
Osvaldo Alonso
Oalex Anderson
Clint Dempsey - DP
Brad Evans - I don't necessarily want this to happen, but think it will
Stefan Frei
Andreas Ivanschitz - I can see the arguments leaving him off, but he's our best overall dead-ball guy
Joevin Jones
Nicolás Lodeiro - DP (HANDS OFF OUR URUGUAYAN JESUS)
Chad Marshall
Román Torres

Unprotected
Michael Farfan - I seriously forgot we signed him
Álvaro Fernández
Oniel Fisher
Erik Friberg
Damion Lowe - On loan to MNU so I wouldn't be surprised if he gets picked/dealt there
Charlie Lyon
Tyrone Mears - I doubt anyone is going to pick up a 34 year old RB
Tyler Miller
Jimmy Ockford - On loan to NY Cosmos
Dylan Remick
Nathan Sturgis

Need to gently caress off and die (figuratively speaking)
Nelson Valdez - DP

Honestly no need to really protect Evans/Marshall since they should be Free Agents. Even if they get picked thry have no contract for 2017 so we could just re-sign them (if we wanted)

I would protect Tyler Miller over Alfaro, dude was getting regular YNT callups and we can probably replace Frei in house.

Honestly I agree with leaving Friberg off he is decent, but not great although he would be a good pickup for a expansion team.

TheNakedJimbo
Nov 18, 2004

If you die first, I am definitely going to eat you. The question is, if I die first...what are YOU gonna do?
I didn't realize HGPs were automatically protected, so here's a redo for Dallas:

HGPs: Kellyn Acosta, Victor Ulloa, Jesse Gonzalez, Coy Craft, Aaron Guillen, Moises Hernandez, Paxton Pomykal

Protected XI: Mauro Diaz, Michael Barrios, Tesho Akindele, Ryan Hollingshead, Carlos Gruezo, Matt Hedges, Walker Zimmerman, Zach Loyd (? - has missed a long time with concussion problems), Fabian Castillo (technically still an FCD player), Maxi Urruti, Chris Seitz

Best Unprotected: Mauro Rosales, Maynor Figueroa, Atiba Harris, Getterson, Carlos Lizarazo, Carlos Ruiz (lollllll)

Seltzer
Oct 11, 2012

Ask me about Game Pass: the Best Deal in Gaming!

Shrapnig posted:

Undoubtedly. Duvall is great cover in the back four so I'd like to see him stay for that.

Zizzo can gently caress off assuming Lade gets fit again.

Yea Ideally we keep duvall but I couldn't pick a name from this list that I would put him ahead of:

felipe. dax. sascha. veron. robles. perinelle. royer. collin. lawrence. BWP. baah

Baah seemed like a long term signing, Perrinelle is very good when fit, and Collin is consistent and healthy. I think Royer/Veron will make Grella more of a utility player. Everyone else is basically an obvious lock. I mean we could protect Grella and leave Veron open hedging our bets that a new team won't pick up a shaky DP but Veron seems part of the plans for the team for better or worse and leaving him unprotected probably won't instill confidence in him even though there's only like a 1% chance a team would take him.

The thing about duvall is I think right back is the weakest part of our defense if everyone is fit so losing him and signing a nice right back for good money just under the DP cap wouldn't be a bad move at all.

I will be really sad to see Grella go though if it happens. Us providing his last chance at redemption and all. Also the fact that despite being slow and kind of clumsy he pulls off some awesome dribbles that make people look stupid and he wears black boots.

Seltzer fucked around with this message at 05:52 on Sep 15, 2016

RocketLunatic
May 6, 2005
i love lamp.

TheNakedJimbo posted:

I didn't realize HGPs were automatically protected, so here's a redo for Dallas:

HGPs: Kellyn Acosta, Victor Ulloa, Jesse Gonzalez, Coy Craft, Aaron Guillen, Moises Hernandez, Paxton Pomykal

Protected XI: Mauro Diaz, Michael Barrios, Tesho Akindele, Ryan Hollingshead, Carlos Gruezo, Matt Hedges, Walker Zimmerman, Zach Loyd (? - has missed a long time with concussion problems), Fabian Castillo (technically still an FCD player), Maxi Urruti, Chris Seitz

Best Unprotected: Mauro Rosales, Maynor Figueroa, Atiba Harris, Getterson, Carlos Lizarazo, Carlos Ruiz (lollllll)

Not a bad try, though I think Moises is gone at the end of this season. Also, you probably leave Zach unprotected and take your chances. Poor guy. These could be the kind of concussion symptoms that sideline him permanently. He is one of my favorite players.

In place of him, I'd probably keep Maynor. He's not like a star but he is solid. Solid is plenty good in MLS and another season will have him doing even better with this team.

binge crotching
Apr 2, 2010

whypick1 posted:

Dudes who will probably retire

Zach Scott - He's got to retire one of these years...right? :ohdear:

Who I think will be protected

Oalex Anderson

Zach announced he is retiring, so no worries there.

Oalex is completely useless. I've only seen him in a few games this year, but as a fat old man I can shoot better than him.

whypick1
Dec 18, 2009

Just another jackass on the Internet
See, I made Zach Scott retire :v:

I don't necessarily want to protect Oalex either (he's basically Morris minus a right foot or the ability to make good runs besides Route 1), but I'm thinking it'll be a sunk cost thing.

Hungryjack
May 9, 2003

Carlos Ruiz is back at Dallas.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PA_c1FClBMo

This is what it took to get a 10-game suspension back in the day.

Azerban
Oct 28, 2003



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfO0BJgzWRw

joshtothemaxx
Nov 17, 2008

I will have a whole army of zombies! A zombie Marine Corps, a zombie Navy Corps, zombie Space Cadets...
So who does DC protect or expect to lose? Not that I give a poo poo about anyone other than Hamid, Birnbaum, Acosta, and Deleon.

Shammypants
May 25, 2004

Let me tell you about true luxury.

I hope they take DeLeon, jesus that's the dream, the christmas miracle

Your Boy Fancy
Feb 7, 2003

by Cyrano4747

XyrlocShammypants posted:

I hope they take DeLeon, jesus that's the dream, the christmas miracle

You're insane.

Welcome to GBS
Feb 26, 2011

Jack Jewsbury announced at a recent team function that he would be retiring at the end of this season.



What a versatile player who lasted much longer as a capable MLS starter than anyone would have guessed. I'm hoping he becomes a coach, but I hear he wants to move back to Missouri with his family.

Tigren
Oct 3, 2003

Welcome to GBS posted:

Jack Jewsbury announced at a recent team function that he would be retiring at the end of this season.



What a versatile player who lasted much longer as a capable MLS starter than anyone would have guessed. I'm hoping he becomes a coach, but I hear he wants to move back to Missouri with his family.

He never really registered in my brain before he played for Portland, then he was just poo poo. Thanks for all the memories, Jack.

Jack2142
Jul 17, 2014

Shitposting in Seattle

IS SKC actually in Kansas or is it in Missouri? I then again both states are abysmal so it doesn't really matter.

foobardog
Apr 19, 2007

There, now I can tell when you're posting.

-- A friend :)

Jack2142 posted:

IS SKC actually in Kansas or is it in Missouri? I then again both states are abysmal so it doesn't really matter.

SKC is actually in Kansas City, KS, which is not the more familiar Kansas City, MO, but its sad knockoff sibling right across the border.

porkface
Dec 29, 2000

Jack2142 posted:

IS SKC actually in Kansas or is it in Missouri? I then again both states are abysmal so it doesn't really matter.

States, sure. But KC, MO is not really abysmal.

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

Welcome to GBS posted:

Jack Jewsbury announced at a recent team function that he would be retiring at the end of this season.



What a versatile player who lasted much longer as a capable MLS starter than anyone would have guessed. I'm hoping he becomes a coach, but I hear he wants to move back to Missouri with his family.

He was hot garbage.

"Versatile" my rear end. Dude somehow managed to play almost 400 games in MLS but was never deemed good enough to get a call up for the US. That has to be a record.

B.B. Rodriguez
Aug 8, 2005

Bender: "I was God once." God: "Yes, I saw. You were doing well until everyone died."

He was called into Camp Cupcake once.

Your Boy Fancy
Feb 7, 2003

by Cyrano4747

Shrapnig posted:

He was hot garbage.

"Versatile" my rear end. Dude somehow managed to play almost 400 games in MLS but was never deemed good enough to get a call up for the US. That has to be a record.

It's a different sort of metric, I think. Dude managed to make a steady living in America, playing soccer, for an entire career. A journeyman dude can do that now. It's a weirder signpost, but it's one I'll take.

The next step is being able to keep Real Talent in the league. We shouldn't be losing the Perry Kitchens and DeAndre Yedlins of the world, but they're not gonna grow here. Not yet. So that's the next signpost down the road.

Jack Jewsbury wasn't very good. But he meant something to somebody I guess.

Welcome to GBS
Feb 26, 2011

You lot are seriously some of the worst people to discuss soccer with that I have ever experienced.

Jewsbury had 2 game winning goals in 2015 alone and made the run to MLS Cup possible.

Dallan Invictus
Oct 11, 2007

The thing about words is that meanings can twist just like a snake, and if you want to find snakes, look for them behind words that have changed their meaning.

Shrapnig posted:

He was hot garbage.

"Versatile" my rear end. Dude somehow managed to play almost 400 games in MLS but was never deemed good enough to get a call up for the US. That has to be a record.

Call it 30-50 people who are "good enough to get a callup for the US" at any given time (and let's be honest, lots of them are playing in Europe). At the same time, there are like 300 domestic players in MLS. If that's your standard then pretty much all of them are hot garbage (granted, this may be true.)

But every league besides maybe the upper echelon teams of the PL/BL/La Liga has those guys. At this level, you can't realistically fill twenty rosters with world-beaters and international-quality players, you need reliable journeyman types (the journey is optional, I think Jewsbury played for like two different teams in his career?) - and arguably, you SHOULDN'T fill twenty rosters with world-beaters if you don't want to have England's national team problems, because a national team pool needs playing time somewhere.

Basically:

Your Boy Fancy posted:

It's a different sort of metric, I think. Dude managed to make a steady living in America, playing soccer, for an entire career. A journeyman dude can do that now. It's a weirder signpost, but it's one I'll take.

This wasn't previously the case. I'm glad it is now. There's still some way to go.

Shammypants
May 25, 2004

Let me tell you about true luxury.

Welcome to GBS posted:

You lot are seriously some of the worst people to discuss soccer with that I have ever experienced.

Jewsbury had 2 game winning goals in 2015 alone and made the run to MLS Cup possible.


And? That makes him less mediocre? It's a mediocre league, people can do things that seem special but really aren't.

Tigren
Oct 3, 2003

Dallan Invictus posted:

Call it 30-50 people who are "good enough to get a callup for the US" at any given time (and let's be honest, lots of them are playing in Europe). At the same time, there are like 300 domestic players in MLS. If that's your standard then pretty much all of them are hot garbage (granted, this may be true.)

But every league besides maybe the upper echelon teams of the PL/BL/La Liga has those guys. At this level, you can't realistically fill twenty rosters with world-beaters and international-quality players, you need reliable journeyman types (the journey is optional, I think Jewsbury played for like two different teams in his career?) - and arguably, you SHOULDN'T fill twenty rosters with world-beaters if you don't want to have England's national team problems, because a national team pool needs playing time somewhere.

Basically:


This wasn't previously the case. I'm glad it is now. There's still some way to go.

You don't have to convince me that journeymen make MLS go round. poo poo, my team has employed Alan Gordon for longer than I'd prefer. Doesn't change the fact that Jack Jewsbury, while a noble foot soldier in the American Soccer world, is a minor blip on the retirement radar.

Dallan Invictus
Oct 11, 2007

The thing about words is that meanings can twist just like a snake, and if you want to find snakes, look for them behind words that have changed their meaning.

Tigren posted:

Doesn't change the fact that Jack Jewsbury, while a noble foot soldier in the American Soccer world, is a minor blip on the retirement radar.

Oh, absolutely. I'm not going to pour out a forty for Jewsbury or whatever. But I understand why Timbers or SKC fans would, even though he was an Objectively Mediocre Player, and I'm not going to poo poo on them for it. I'm glad guys like him have been able to stick it out and make a decent living as dedicated team players, and I'm glad that their teams and fans recognise and respect that.

The Lore Bear
Jan 21, 2014

I don't know what to put here. Guys? GUYS?!

Dallan Invictus posted:

Oh, absolutely. I'm not going to pour out a forty for Jewsbury or whatever. But I understand why Timbers or SKC fans would, even though he was an Objectively Mediocre Player, and I'm not going to poo poo on them for it. I'm glad guys like him have been able to stick it out and make a decent living as dedicated team players, and I'm glad that their teams and fans recognise and respect that.

Jewsbury was also an even keel on a team full of inconsistency. You knew he'd average about 0.1-0.2 goals per game over the season, he'd play good defense and he'd be very unlikely to do really dumb things. He's not a world class player but you knew what you got with him.

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highme
May 25, 2001


I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!


Jewsbury never had world beating skill but he has been a fantastic team player and member of the Timbers organization.

I can understand if that means fuckall to anyone else in the league though. However I am going to miss the guy that can be reliably called to start, and put in a solid 90 minutes, in a number of positions, when Porter Plan A falls apart.

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