Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

«‹›6665 »

Beet Wagon: Oct 19, 2015

Tank Boy Ken posted:

They don't have any broken doors.

Because they don't have any doors, which just proves that Star Citizen is the superior game.

e: doggetaxxe

# ? Sep 20, 2016 16:25

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 12, 2024 13:31

Furia: Jul 26, 2015; Grimey Drawer

Fatkraken posted:

But what if Star Citizen was a hotdog stand?

You'd pay like 1000$ for a 1$ hot dot then the guy programming the hot dog on would break his wrist so you have to wait then you find out that the salesman you have been talking to is a paedophile and a bunch of similar poo poo until you get your food but it's not a hot dog you got a burger with no meat on it and the burger can barely fly before crashing to desktop.

This analogy is perfect.

# ? Sep 20, 2016 16:25

Lladre: Jun 28, 2011; Soiled Meat

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRtNR_1fMv4&t=64s

Full Throttle. An homage to Star Citizen.

# ? Sep 20, 2016 16:27

Tijuana Bibliophile: Dec 30, 2008; Scratchmo

Tank Boy Ken posted:

They don't have any broken doors.

Yet another example of Frontier's limited aspirations

You just do your thing Braben, aim at the streetlights :rolleyes:

Meanwhile I'll be sitting here, all unbearably smug ~~in my Idris~~

# ? Sep 20, 2016 16:30

orcinus: Feb 25, 2016; Fun Shoe

Young Freud posted:

That's common on a lot of guns that may see service in polar or alpine conditions where you were thick gloves that would interfere with pulling the trigger, so it stands to reason that might be something you want to have if you're wearing a space suit which has real. It would make sense for a space gun, but usually the trigger area is much larger instead of here.

I've seen glove-friendly *finger* trigger guards.
Must admit i've never seen a *hand* trigger guard, though.

But what do i know, IANAgunnut.

# ? Sep 20, 2016 16:42

Adonis Gunther: Mar 11, 2011

Lladre posted:

Full Throttle. An homage to Star Citizen.

Almost there...

# ? Sep 20, 2016 16:46

Cigstomper58: Aug 17, 2016; by FactsAreUseless

Aussies got all excited because they were promised an australian located server. Guess how thats working out for em.

# ? Sep 20, 2016 16:49

Fatkraken: Jun 23, 2005; Fun-time is over.

Furia posted:

You'd pay like 1000$ for a 1$ hot dot then the guy programming the hot dog on would break his wrist so you have to wait then you find out that the salesman you have been talking to is a paedophile and a bunch of similar poo poo until you get your food but it's not a hot dog you got a burger with no meat on it and the burger can barely fly before crashing to desktop.

This analogy is perfect.

where does the Frog-dog fit in?

# ? Sep 20, 2016 16:53

Tijuana Bibliophile: Dec 30, 2008; Scratchmo

Cigstomper58 posted:

Aussies got all excited because they were promised an australian located server. Guess how thats working out for em.

Ooh! Somebody got Chris' whine about how they totally didn't mean they'd have aus servers this early in development?

# ? Sep 20, 2016 16:54

orcinus: Feb 25, 2016; Fun Shoe

D1E posted:

I wonder how many folders of bookmarks Derek has in his browser(s).

He's beyond that.
He's got folders on his drive containing folders of text files with the names of bookmark folders containing bookmark folders containing bookmarks.

# ? Sep 20, 2016 17:00

Tijuana Bibliophile: Dec 30, 2008; Scratchmo

orcinus posted:

He's beyond that.
He's got folders on his drive containing folders of text files with the names of bookmark folders containing bookmark folders containing bookmarks.

Derek only needs one bookmark: [url]http://*.*[/url]

# ? Sep 20, 2016 17:21

Beet Wagon: Oct 19, 2015

Beet Wagon posted:

Derek Smart and Chris Roberts are both crappy developers

Corren_64 posted:

And that Chris isn't a terrible game creator was proven in the past by, you know, having actually successful games. On the other side you have Derek, who not only shat out like 20 games from the same IP that at best are renames, but are also through the bank horrific, bad-received and (except for probably the first one) the opposite of "selling". And even his first overhyped, overpromised game Didn't sell too well I guess. Having comparable numbers here would be nice to see if that argument has actually a merit.
But Derek will never provide any of his sales numbers (or I just missed it, that would make me look pretty dumb for some I guess).

118 words total

Words used to defend Chris Roberts - 20

Words used to attack Derek Smart - 98

# ? Sep 20, 2016 17:54

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

Beet Wagon posted:

Because they don't have any doors, which just proves that Star Citizen is the superior game.

e: doggetaxxe

E: D has been in development since the Big Bang and they still don't have any doors in the game? smfh

# ? Sep 20, 2016 17:57

Fatkraken: Jun 23, 2005; Fun-time is over.

Derek smart is a crappy developer who has always been a bit crappy, though not entirely due to circumstances he could control. He sells his crappy unfinished game for $30 or whatever, and is promising an adequate game eventually

Chris Roberts is a crappy developer who once was quite good, though not entirely due to his own talent. He sells ~*~Dreams~*~ based around his crappy unfinished game for hundreds and thousands of dollars, and is promising the best game ever made in Two Weeks.

# ? Sep 20, 2016 17:59

peter gabriel: Nov 8, 2011; Hello Commandos

Beet Wagon posted:

Because they don't have any doors, which just proves that Star Citizen is the superior game.

e: doggetaxxe

Pictures of kayak are the only worthwhile thing to come out of Star Citizen

# ? Sep 20, 2016 18:10

AlmightyPants: Mar 14, 2001; King of Scheduling; Pillbug

PC Gamer posted an article about how Star Citizen put together a trailer advertising that they added headbob = off, a feature in every FPS going back, what, 15-20 years?

Anyhow, lo an behold, when I pointed this out in the comments a wild Cymelion appeared.

https://www.facebook.com/cymelion.notapplicable

Another Australian. I suppose the earlier theory about them has some merit.

# ? Sep 20, 2016 18:12

Beet Wagon: Oct 19, 2015

peter gabriel posted:

Pictures of kayak are the only worthwhile thing to come out of Star Citizen

Aww thanks, commando. But it's not the only thing - don't forget about your burgeoning YouTube stardom!

# ? Sep 20, 2016 18:16

WhiskeyWhiskers: Oct 14, 2013; "هذا ليس عادلاً."
"هذا ليس عادلاً على الإطلاق."
"كان هناك وقت الآن."
(السياق الخفي: للقراءة)

AlmightyPants posted:

PC Gamer posted an article about how Star Citizen put together a trailer advertising that they added headbob = off, a feature in every FPS going back, what, 15-20 years?

Anyhow, lo an behold, when I pointed this out in the comments a wild Cymelion appeared.

https://www.facebook.com/cymelion.notapplicable

Another Australian. I suppose the earlier theory about them has some merit.

Yeah he was one of the ones who got me thinking about it. When talking about Sandi's racism he said I just didn't 'get' her because she's an Aussie Chick�.

# ? Sep 20, 2016 18:16

orcinus: Feb 25, 2016; Fun Shoe

I'm good at developing crappies.
I'm a crappy developer too.

# ? Sep 20, 2016 18:17

peter gabriel: Nov 8, 2011; Hello Commandos

Beet Wagon posted:

Aww thanks, commando. But it's not the only thing - don't forget about your burgeoning YouTube stardom!

I am going to do a patreon to piss off the backers.
The Youtube stuff is too hard to do now, it's honestly such a poo poo game now I don't want to play it - the feels have gone. I worry it may be terminal. So if I do a patreon that could be funny, but I am undecided as yet.

# ? Sep 20, 2016 18:19

Beet Wagon: Oct 19, 2015

WhiskeyWhiskers posted:

Yeah he was one of the ones who got me thinking about it. When talking about Sandi's racism he said I just didn't 'get' her because she's an Aussie Chick�.

You just don't understand racism development.

# ? Sep 20, 2016 18:19

Nicholas: Mar 7, 2001; Were those not fine days, when we drank of clear honey, and spoke in calm tones of our love for the stuff?

Tokamak posted:

If Star Citizen was a pizza restaurant:

Just for you, Derek, I'll explain this analogy. You claim that "ordering a meat lovers pizza" is analogous to "pledging to Star Citizen". How did that play out historically?

Well, first, you're a moron, because it was pretty clear from the get-go that you weren't ordering a meat lovers pizza and were actually pledging to support a new pizza restaurant that will eventually be delivering to your neighborhood. Your pledge level was high enough where they'll give you your first meat lovers pizza for free, which you interpreted as "pledging for a pizza". A sadly common mistake, truth be told. But the Kickstarter was really clear that they wanted everyone supporting them to become regular customers rather than planning their dining schedule a year in advance.

Surprisingly (to some), this pizzeria Kickstarter made a lot more money than it would take to build a generic pizza place. But since the people running the show aren't idiots or scammers, they decided to use the extra money to make better pizza rather than just making a bunch of pizzas of acceptable quality and pocketing the rest of the money. They've contracted with local farmers to get fresh ingredients, they invented logistics techniques that'll get you more and better topping selection, they've invested in transportation infrastructure so that they can deliver pizzas to your house faster than any pizza has ever been delivered before, and they've hired some of the best chefs in the world to help them build better pizzas. They've been more open about how they're planning their pizza-making than pretty much any pizza company ever, and they're actively sending out pizza samples to everyone (including you) in order to get feedback. However, since building a series of pizza-transportation tubes takes time, and because the world-class best chefs are working to come up with the greatest pizza that's ever been, they've missed the schedule they set when they expected to only make enough money to secure a lease on an old pizza hut building.

And you're complaining because you wanted your full pizza delivered on the schedule that the original campaign predicted? You should go down the street to your local pizza franchise if you lack impulse control and foresight. Stop complaining on behalf of other Kickstarter pizza backers, because the vast majority of us are really excited to be getting our free samples of what's becoming the best pizza that's ever been made.

By this logic Star Citizen is experiencing eternal scope creep.

# ? Sep 20, 2016 18:19

Nicholas: Mar 7, 2001; Were those not fine days, when we drank of clear honey, and spoke in calm tones of our love for the stuff?

but if you argue that scope / feature creep ended a long time ago, then every dollar CIG pulls in is in fact, a preorder, since they've met all the funding goals necessary to deliver the game as promised.

# ? Sep 20, 2016 18:21

Beet Wagon: Oct 19, 2015

peter gabriel posted:

I am going to do a patreon to piss off the backers.
The Youtube stuff is too hard to do now, it's honestly such a poo poo game now I don't want to play it - the feels have gone. I worry it may be terminal. So if I do a patreon that could be funny, but I am undecided as yet.

I genuinely can't blame you - I have no idea how you managed to make as many videos as you did. I just sort of assumed one day it would all be too much and you'd just disappear to go live in the woods or something.

# ? Sep 20, 2016 18:22

orcane: Jun 13, 2012; Fun Shoe

peter gabriel posted:

I am going to do a patreon to piss off the backers.
The Youtube stuff is too hard to do now, it's honestly such a poo poo game now I don't want to play it - the feels have gone. I worry it may be terminal. So if I do a patreon that could be funny, but I am undecided as yet.

I'd pay the 15 bucks I received from getting dumb Star Citizen ship skins refunded :argh:

# ? Sep 20, 2016 18:24

Fatkraken: Jun 23, 2005; Fun-time is over.

Nicholas posted:

but if you argue that scope / feature creep ended a long time ago, then every dollar CIG pulls in is in fact, a preorder, since they've met all the funding goals necessary to deliver the game as promised.

# ? Sep 20, 2016 18:24

Lladre: Jun 28, 2011; Soiled Meat

Head bob guys.

Seriously.

Head bob.

Head bob was solved already in 1978 with Hunt the Wumpus on a TRS-80.

# ? Sep 20, 2016 18:27

Tijuana Bibliophile: Dec 30, 2008; Scratchmo

Lladre posted:

Head bob guys.

Seriously.

Head bob.

Head bob was solved already in 1978 with Hunt the Wumpus on a TRS-80.

The French solved head bob over 200 years ago

# ? Sep 20, 2016 18:31

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

Tijuana Bibliophile posted:

The French solved head bob over 200 years ago

# ? Sep 20, 2016 18:34

Tijuana Bibliophile: Dec 30, 2008; Scratchmo

I don't care what the bleeding heart lieberals say, if I have any creepers in my scope I'll have them shot

# ? Sep 20, 2016 18:35

orcane: Jun 13, 2012; Fun Shoe

So E:D was without a headbob solution for its first thousand years? :aaa:

# ? Sep 20, 2016 18:35

neonbregna: Aug 20, 2007

Lladre posted:

Head bob guys.

Seriously.

Head bob.

Head bob was solved already in 1978 with Hunt the Wumpus on a TRS-80.

But my fidelitious immersion

# ? Sep 20, 2016 18:43

orcinus: Feb 25, 2016; Fun Shoe

I wanna be a Head Bob Manager.

# ? Sep 20, 2016 18:54

Propagandist: Oct 23, 2007

I thought managing head bob was what ED was all about

# ? Sep 20, 2016 19:09

orcinus: Feb 25, 2016; Fun Shoe

http://www.improbable.com/2012/06/20/why-do-birds-bob-their-head-while-running-locomotion-part-2/

# ? Sep 20, 2016 19:16

Maw: Feb 18, 2013; Mere minutes after discovering the new technology, it was used to send me a crude ASCII dong.

AlmightyPants posted:

PC Gamer posted an article about how Star Citizen put together a trailer advertising that they added headbob = off, a feature in every FPS going back, what, 15-20 years?

Anyhow, lo an behold, when I pointed this out in the comments a wild Cymelion appeared.

https://www.facebook.com/cymelion.notapplicable

Another Australian. I suppose the earlier theory about them has some merit.

The comments on the article are great

Somebody should tell that last guy that they're meant to be stressing the difference between buying and pledging and also paaaaarp

# ? Sep 20, 2016 19:19

grimcreaper: Jan 7, 2012

Adonis Gunther posted:

Almost there...

FULLLLLLL KERM. The only kerm in this 'verse is Kermit and meeeeeee

# ? Sep 20, 2016 19:26

Beet Wagon: Oct 19, 2015

Every time I think I understand people, somebody else I know asks if I've heard about Star Citizen.

Like, I totally get it - four years ago. But how can people still be excited about this garbo?

# ? Sep 20, 2016 19:26

Beet Wagon: Oct 19, 2015

Things I'm mad about with regards to Star Citizen:

1. Ray Roocroft lying to me

2. Nothing else really, it's all been great fun.

# ? Sep 20, 2016 19:30

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 12, 2024 13:31

Beet Wagon: Oct 19, 2015

Times I like to post in a row:

3. Three

(free Tophat)

# ? Sep 20, 2016 19:31

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

«‹›6665 »