Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

Colostomy Bag: Jan 11, 2016; C-Bangin' it

Charles Get-Out posted:

They had that Big Benny's noodle delivery spaceship concept as an April Fool's joke and Citizens literally began asking that they actually add it and the accompanying food delivery mechanics into the game.

Ah yes, forgot about that. I'm hard to pressed to come up with any idea that hasn't been discussed or exploited for monetary gain. Guess they could come up with mortuary store. For UEC you could get a fancier coffin or something and watch it shoot into space.

# ? Sep 22, 2016 17:27

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# ? Jun 2, 2024 17:03

D1E: Nov 25, 2001

Colostomy Bag posted:

It really is. I'm not sure what is more sad, that he spends hours on this every week or the fact CIG doesn't care one bit in regards to his loyalty and at least attempt to fix the issues.

Derek: what would you do with your immense power if you had an army of say 50,000 slavishly devoted, mentally and socially incompetent, financial-domination fetish, autistic fat nerds who all want to tickle your wife?

Would their QA skills help you make LoD a good game?

# ? Sep 22, 2016 17:27

The Titanic: Sep 15, 2016; Unsinkable

As a female gamer, all of your points of view this are super nice.

I'm mostly numb to what the avatar looks like. You pretty much have to be if you want to enjoy the best games. If there is a female option it's more of an "oh that's nice" more than an "about drat time" emotion. But these days it is getting closer to the latter, only because now it's a matter of laziness (depending on the game!) rather than by technical limitations.

I'm not going to go into the women in the military issue. That's for a different thread.

Women in Sausage Citizen will happen eventually. I will play as the Sandi avatar.

# ? Sep 22, 2016 17:38

Nancy: Nov 23, 2005; Young Orc

Colostomy Bag posted:

Ah yes, forgot about that. I'm hard to pressed to come up with any idea that hasn't been discussed or exploited for monetary gain. Guess they could come up with mortuary store. For UEC you could get a fancier coffin or something and watch it shoot into space.

gently caress. Citizens would be delighted to have special funeral services for their deceased avatars and would probably pay a ton for this crap.

Someone needs to forward this to CIG stat so they can start opening up Lifetime Multiple Life Insurance and Big Benny's XXXL coffin preorders.

# ? Sep 22, 2016 17:38

Raskolnikov: Nov 25, 2003

janssendalt posted:

guys stop
this game is coming out
and it's gonna be the best

# ? Sep 22, 2016 17:40

Nancy: Nov 23, 2005; Young Orc

The Titanic posted:

As a female gamer, all of your points of view this are super nice.

I'm mostly numb to what the avatar looks like. You pretty much have to be if you want to enjoy the best games. If there is a female option it's more of an "oh that's nice" more than an "about drat time" emotion. But these days it is getting closer to the latter, only because now it's a matter of laziness (depending on the game!) rather than by technical limitations.

I'm not going to go into the women in the military issue. That's for a different thread.

Women in Sausage Citizen will happen eventually. I will play as the Sandi avatar.

But what if Star Citizen starts having too many women in it??? Think about immersion.

# ? Sep 22, 2016 17:42

D1E: Nov 25, 2001

Charles Get-Out posted:

But what if Star Citizen starts having too many women in it??? Think about immersion.

This is not likely.

# ? Sep 22, 2016 17:43

Viscous Soda: Apr 24, 2004

Mirificus posted:

There we go, new thread title.

Star Citizen: You've shown you can't handle open development.

# ? Sep 22, 2016 17:43

CrazyLoon: Aug 10, 2015; "..."

janssendalt posted:

guys stop
this game is coming out
and it's gonna be the best

where ya been, man?

# ? Sep 22, 2016 17:47

Tijuana Bibliophile: Dec 30, 2008; Scratchmo

Charles Get-Out posted:

But what if Star Citizen starts having too many women in it??? Think about immersion.

Think about balancing. If you choose a female avatar all the sad Wulges will be forced to smooth their hair (under their fedoras) and offer you free rides, ships, what-have-you.

# ? Sep 22, 2016 17:49

Beet Wagon: Oct 19, 2015

The Titanic posted:

As a female gamer, all of your points of view this are super nice.

I'm mostly numb to what the avatar looks like. You pretty much have to be if you want to enjoy the best games. If there is a female option it's more of an "oh that's nice" more than an "about drat time" emotion. But these days it is getting closer to the latter, only because now it's a matter of laziness (depending on the game!) rather than by technical limitations.

I'm not going to go into the women in the military issue. That's for a different thread.

Women in Sausage Citizen will happen eventually. I will play as the Sandi avatar.

The thing is, the whole "women in the military" argument doesn't even apply here. It's a future space ship game set in the FUTURE. There are spaceship windows that are as tough as armor, and spooky aliens whose spaceships defy the laws of physics, and all sorts of other magical bullshit that they had to handwave away with some "lore". So just say "Ah poo poo I dunno, we cracked the genetic code so all commandos are equally whatever at shooting mans" and bam, job done.

# ? Sep 22, 2016 17:54

The Titanic: Sep 15, 2016; Unsinkable

Charles Get-Out posted:

But what if Star Citizen starts having too many women in it??? Think about immersion.

The toxic community will prevent that problem from happening.

# ? Sep 22, 2016 17:56

D1E: Nov 25, 2001

Knowing what the average male shitizen looks like, I kinda don't even want to think about female shitizens.

EDIT: I mean picture Chris Roberts with tits, heavy makeup, and false eyelashes.

D1E fucked around with this message at 18:03 on Sep 22, 2016

# ? Sep 22, 2016 17:59

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

D1E posted:

EDIT: I mean picture Chris Roberts with tits, heavy makeup, and false eyelashes.

So... the usual?

# ? Sep 22, 2016 18:08

Colostomy Bag: Jan 11, 2016; C-Bangin' it

Charles Get-Out posted:

gently caress. Citizens would be delighted to have special funeral services for their deceased avatars and would probably pay a ton for this crap.

Someone needs to forward this to CIG stat so they can start opening up Lifetime Multiple Life Insurance and Big Benny's XXXL coffin preorders.

Yep. Would also be cool to have a group playing space bag pipes orchestrated by Pedro Camacho himself for VIPs.

# ? Sep 22, 2016 18:10

Hav: Dec 11, 2009; Fun Shoe

D1E posted:

EDIT: I mean picture Chris Roberts with tits, heavy makeup, and false eyelashes.

Keep going.

nearly there.

# ? Sep 22, 2016 18:10

Echo Chamber: Oct 16, 2008; best username/post combo

It's the first day of autumn, guys!

# ? Sep 22, 2016 18:11

trucutru: Jul 9, 2003; by Fluffdaddy

The Titanic posted:

Women in Sausage Citizen will happen eventually. I will play as the Sandi avatar.

You'll probably have to pledge at least a thousand buckaroos to be able to use that specific skin.

# ? Sep 22, 2016 18:13

The Titanic: Sep 15, 2016; Unsinkable

Beet Wagon posted:

The thing is, the whole "women in the military" argument doesn't even apply here. It's a future space ship game set in the FUTURE. There are spaceship windows that are as tough as armor, and spooky aliens whose spaceships defy the laws of physics, and all sorts of other magical bullshit that they had to handwave away with some "lore". So just say "Ah poo poo I dunno, we cracked the genetic code so all commandos are equally whatever at shooting mans" and bam, job done.

Nope, it doesn't at all.

I actually don't believe this is a wide spread opinion too, even as terrible as the Star Citizen community is, I'd like to think this is just a very smallish fraction of people with these thoughts.

It's still something CIG can lore away though. Your clone has all your skills and your crotch of choice! It doesn't matter!

# ? Sep 22, 2016 18:14

Strangler 42: Jan 8, 2007; SHAVE IT ALL OFF
ALL OF IT

The Titanic posted:

The toxic community will prevent that problem from happening.

Wulf Knight will be the one man welcoming committee. You just have to give him your phone number.

# ? Sep 22, 2016 18:15

The Titanic: Sep 15, 2016; Unsinkable

trucutru posted:

You'll probably have to pledge at least a thousand buckaroos to be able to use that specific skin.

Well I'm out! Hello bald white guy!

# ? Sep 22, 2016 18:15

The Titanic: Sep 15, 2016; Unsinkable

Barn Folk posted:

Wulf Knight will be the one man welcoming committee. You just have to give him your phone number.

There's guys like that in every community.

And not to say it doesn't go both ways. I'm sure there's women out there who would easily flash tits to get something they want in a game too.

People in general can be scummy on both sides of the gender equation. :3:

Although I will say that Wulf did take it that extra step in that it was unsolicited. Usually both parties at least have an agreement to send their junk to each other.

# ? Sep 22, 2016 18:19

Sunswipe: Feb 5, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

his nibs posted:

Derek can we have a !competition or at least a !raffle for a new thread title tia

1st prize is to rename the thread and a copy of Line of Defense.
2nd prize is two copies of LoD.

Please don't ban me

# ? Sep 22, 2016 18:20

Nancy: Nov 23, 2005; Young Orc

The Titanic posted:

Well I'm out! Hello bald white guy!

Are you crazy?? The Chris Roberts skin is gonna cost even more!

# ? Sep 22, 2016 18:21

D1E: Nov 25, 2001

I kinda want Crobbers to rename the evil enemy race the Dereki.

# ? Sep 22, 2016 18:23

Nancy: Nov 23, 2005; Young Orc

More original than Vandals and Kill-Wrathers

# ? Sep 22, 2016 18:26

The Titanic: Sep 15, 2016; Unsinkable

"Men (and women haha), I want you to be aware of our enemy. Blogging even now against us."

# ? Sep 22, 2016 18:35

intardnation: Feb 18, 2016; I'm going to space!

I vote for lethality for mod.

# ? Sep 22, 2016 18:36

Raskolnikov: Nov 25, 2003

The Titanic posted:

Probably in the upper age level of the forums, unfortunately.

I could ask you the same, since you believe lying doesn't weigh you down.

Now of course there are genuine crazy people out there who can do it. I should have taken the mentally ill into perspective. There's always a person for some subset of crazy.

But for your average person, eventually you'll feel the weight. It's inevitable. It might take until your death bed, though. But you'll hurt eventually.

A good thing to keep in mind is the atmosphere Chris Roberts is in, the people he's chosen to surround himself with, and his history.

- Used car salesman. Sorry, this counts against you as a "understanding guy"
- Married to a woman who is proven time and time again that honesty is for the lesser people
- Ortwin
- Money
- Drugs
- Seemingly unlimited freedom and vacations
- Rabidly loyal "fans"

Figure each one of these is a limb in a tree. Each limb would have to break off before Chris can feel that human emotion known as grief for his actions.

And of course, he may be beyond capable of getting there; ever even.

I'll concede to your point of my ignorance.

I should not have said that, there are always exceptions and circumstances that prevent some basic humanity from taking place. These guys may be some of those people!

I enjoyed your heartfelt post commandoa. It made me think. :shobon:

Raskolnikov fucked around with this message at 20:30 on Sep 22, 2016

# ? Sep 22, 2016 18:38

Mirificus: Oct 29, 2004; Kings need not raise their voices to be heard

# ? Sep 22, 2016 18:39

Brazilianpeanutwar: Aug 27, 2015; Spent my walletfull, on a jpeg, desolate, will croberts make a whale of me yet?

D1E posted:

Knowing what the average male shitizen looks like, I kinda don't even want to think about female shitizens.

EDIT: I mean picture Chris Roberts with tits, heavy makeup, and false eyelashes.

Uhhhnhgh keep going!

# ? Sep 22, 2016 18:43

The Titanic: Sep 15, 2016; Unsinkable

Raskolnikov posted:

I enjoyed your heartfelt post commando. It made me think.

# ? Sep 22, 2016 18:44

Mirificus: Oct 29, 2004; Kings need not raise their voices to be heard

Cymelion posted:

I feel like I need to get something off my chest about a lot of the Derek Smart related things.

It is important to understand that this will most likely contradict a lot of what I have said previously and isn't really all that special but it is something for people to consider in their future interactions.

Derek Smart has achieved exactly what he has wanted to do since Star Citizen was successfully kickstarted - His name is permanently and irremovably attached to Star Citizen .... sort of.

Understand that those of us who saw his 2013? Tweet offering to help CIG develop the game - to his subtle(lol) attempts to repeat QOL history with his Blogs encouraging CIG to remove CR or have him stand down and be replaced by someone who knew how to make the game - and his blogs talking about how he would "fix" the game and get it on track.

When it became clear he couldn't be attached to the game in development, then his name will still be attached as it's vocal critic.

Make no mistake - his actions and hundreds of thousands of words - an entire sub-reddit dedicated to following his madness - the reacceptance back on Something Awful - The turning up on any and every Forum talking about Star Citizen - Interviews with people all over Youtube and podcasts and constant barrage of emails to Games Media has ensured one thing alone.

Derek Smarts name will be just as well known for Star Citizen as Chris Roberts ... for now - It doesn't matter to him that his predictions are wrong - it doesn't matter to him when Star Citizen comes out he will be ridiculed or laughed at. Nor does it matter that every games media site will go through the history and list the timelines in click-bait headlines and indepth discussions.

Because he won a game only he was playing to win - He wanted to be attached to Star Citizen for what it didn't matter - it never mattered the reason, if that reason ended up being to be hated - well he's spent decades being hated, he knows how to be hated.

We've all contributed to it - we've all got caught up in the moments - we've all been used.

Threatening backers - attacking staff - having a presence anywhere and everywhere all with 1 goal of trying to make sure no one thinks of Star Citizen and doesn't think of his name as well.

Yes this is a sobering thought and yes there'll be people who no doubt will argue the point - and DS will probably completely take this post out of context if he reads it at all.

But don't worry because here comes the light at the end - the remainder of the post.

Because here I contradict myself again.

Cymelion posted:
His name is permanently and irremovably attached to Star Citizen.
Derek Smarts name will be just as well known for Star Citizen as Chris Roberts

Is actually not 100% true - see it will be true for now - and for a couple more years to come - but as with everything time will fade everything. Just like Chris Roberts is known for Wing Commander very little is remembered about people who disliked or disapproved of the game - vocal critics of World of Warcraft aren't public knowledge anymore - who remembers the person saying Halo was a dead franchise because FPS wouldn't work on Consoles?

See Time remembers winners - and while the media will focus on DS and everything he got wrong about Star Citizen and for a while his name will be mentioned in conjunction with Star Citizen and any future announcements he makes will attract News attention - Later on Star Citizen will be known for it's genre changing decisions - it's fidelity on PC when people were more concerned with consoles - it's game play focusing on players and their friends working together improving on MMO's that came before it.

See Time will ensure people remember everything about Star Citizen except Derek Smart - because the critic who complained and yelled it couldn't be done won't be important - sure his name will come up in history searches but it wont be anything more than peripheral information. When people want to know what made Star Citizen such an event - it wont focus on some Developer complaining it couldn't be done for 1-2 years - it'll be about the development - the crowdfunding - the game after launch and for how long it went for and what was done while it was running.

So in 5 years time in 2021 when you look back on this time in your life - you'll remember the things you actually were doing and the fun you had with the development of the game and very little of the man who said it couldn't be done.

Sorry for the Rant - it's 2am and I am not too busy at work.

https://www.reddit.com/r/DerekSmart/comments/53zal7/derek_smart_on_twitter_my_latest_star_citizen/d7xo0r8

# ? Sep 22, 2016 18:44

grimcreaper: Jan 7, 2012

Tijuana Bibliophile posted:

Think about balancing. If you choose a female avatar all the sad Wulges will be forced to smooth their hair (under their fedoras) and offer you free rides, ships, what-have-you.

They could easily turn sc into a horror game.

Imagine if you will... you chatting with friends and all the sudden a massive gamma burst tears your area apart. Somehow you love. The only human... the only woman left. Suddenly, Wulge comes out of a corner 'It looks like we are the last 2 humans in the universe, m'lady' as he tips his fedora to you.

You scream and hope he's wrong.. but he starts yelling 'WE MUST REPOPULATE RIGHT NOW'. As he constantly tips his fedora to his own dick pic that he's throwing at you.

# ? Sep 22, 2016 18:48

The Titanic: Sep 15, 2016; Unsinkable

Mirificus posted:

https://www.reddit.com/r/DerekSmart/comments/53zal7/derek_smart_on_twitter_my_latest_star_citizen/d7xo0r8

Well he is right. When this goes to hell, because the game is impossible to make as stated, Derek will very quickly fall to the background.

All lights will instead be on how Chris Roberts managed to squander away millions of dollars. The nepotism, and the evil fan base. They'll also remember the cancer survivor the community attacked too probably, because it helps drive home how vile they are.

If the media get a hold of it, Star Citizen won't even get a designation more than "a video game" with a footnote to the title. They'll probably rub salt in and call it Space Citizen or Space Marine.

At best he'll get the NMS treatment for whatever the Minimum Viable Product ends up being.

# ? Sep 22, 2016 19:00

Mokinokaro: Sep 11, 2001; At the end of everything, hold onto anything; Fun Shoe

his nibs posted:

Star Citizen: The Man Who Fell Through Earth

Yessssssss

# ? Sep 22, 2016 19:02

A Neurotic Jew: Feb 17, 2012; by exmarx

https://www.reddit.com/r/starcitizen/comments/540a1m/can_we_please_refer_to_the_pu_as_the_verse_from/

# ? Sep 22, 2016 19:04

The Titanic: Sep 15, 2016; Unsinkable

A Neurotic Jew posted:

https://www.reddit.com/r/starcitizen/comments/540a1m/can_we_please_refer_to_the_pu_as_the_verse_from/

They should stick with "The PU". At least its original.

http://firefly.wikia.com/wiki/The_Verse

# ? Sep 22, 2016 19:06

big nipples big life: May 12, 2014

A Neurotic Jew posted:

https://www.reddit.com/r/starcitizen/comments/540a1m/can_we_please_refer_to_the_pu_as_the_verse_from/

less nerdy

# ? Sep 22, 2016 19:08

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# ? Jun 2, 2024 17:03

Strangler 42: Jan 8, 2007; SHAVE IT ALL OFF
ALL OF IT

The Titanic posted:

They should stick with "The PU". At least its original.

http://firefly.wikia.com/wiki/The_Verse

As long as you pronounce it "poo"

"We're just dicking around in the PU today. " "Find anything interesting in the PU today?"

Never touch the PU.

# ? Sep 22, 2016 19:12

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